Kevin unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside. Everything was shuffled compared to how he remembered it. The joys of having a flatmate. Right next to the entrance was a respectable kitchen area, and beyond that the living space. Dishes were in the sink. Crumbs were on the ground. And his flatmate was splayed out on the couch enjoying a nap.

  “Hello Carmen. I’m back," declared Kevin.

  “Umm. What?” Carmen slowly blinked to life. Her eyes darted around the apartment, taking in the considerable mess she made over the last few days. “Sorry I’ll get to cleaning.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Kevin took her seat on the couch, and gestured at the TV. “Reviewing old court cases?”

  “Yep” Carmen didn’t look up from doing the dishes.

  “While sleeping?”

  “I’ve seen that one a few times. Like probably 12 at this point. It's getting to the good part, so I might join you on the couch soon.” Carmen was of latin descent, with long dark hair and glasses with a thick black frame. It was horribly out of fashion, but Kevin knew how much she loved them, and so never told her.

  “Have I seen this one before?”

  “Maybe. Its Collenger vs the State of America. Probably the most famous court case in recent history.”

  “That name means nothing to me.”

  “Right, this is the scooter court case. Of course there have been others but this is the only one you would know about.”

  Kevin nodded.

  The TV blared its story to the occupants of the room. The judge banged his gavel several times to get the attention of the court. “Both sides may now begin their closing statements.”

  A sharply dressed man with blonde hair addressed the court. “I hope that the jury can see here today that a scooter is indeed not a bike, and should not be allowed in biking competitions. A scooter has no pedals, and so by any definition of a bike, a scooter is not one. I trust that the jury will make the right decision.” With the conclusion of his statement, the man returned to his seat.

  He was replaced by a woman with glasses suspiciously similar to Carmen’s. “Jury, after reviewing the facts, and the evidence I have presented today, I implore you to remember that a biker, when he starts biking, pushes off the ground. A scooterer also pushes off the ground. Recall that biking is not a concrete action, but a mindset– One that scooterers have. And much more importantly: it’d be a lot cooler if it was.” To accentuate her conclusion, The woman backflipped.

  The courtroom broke into complete chaos. Jurors were punching each other. Both lawyers started a breakdancing battle while a disco ball slowly lowered from the ceiling. Someone was trying to start a fire in the back of the room.

  “ORDER, ORDER, ORDER.” Shouted the judge, but no one listened. He mumbled something to himself before raising the gavel high above his head. The entire right sleeve of his suit ripped off as he flexed his arm. He brought his gavel down with such force that the resulting impact shattered all the windows in the courthouse and knocked all attendees to the ground.

  “I declare that in the eyes of this court, that the plaintiff is more awesome.”

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  “But we have not made a decision yet” complained a juror.

  “Overruled, shut the fuck up.” Declared the judge. “Now it's time to party.” The table of the judge flipped, revealing a DJ deck, which the judge skillfully used.

  “Wait what's going on?” Asked Kevin.

  Carmen eagerly provided an answer. “So that was the first backflip conclusion used in a civil case. Previously they have only been used in homicide cases like Homer vs Smith in 2137, Decal vs Spain in 2139, and Hacker vs Reason in 2142. But Casey, the plaintiff in this case, somehow knew it was the proper conclusion. It's the kind of vision she is known for.”

  “And is that it?”

  “No. Now the Judge has ruled against the Jurors, but it was before the jurors came to a decision, so we have an incomplete hostile court. The remaining jurors who disagree with the judge will have a dance battle with him. If the jurors win then the case gets appealed, and it probably would have gone to a bike race. But for this example, only one of the jurors disagreed and the judge crushed him.”

  Kevin groaned. “Why is our justice system so complicated?”

  Carmen smiled. “That's why you need people like me.” Carmen finished the dishes and flopped on the couch next to her closest friend. “How was recovery?”

  “Worse than usual. My first full body repair. Hospital bill was $85, that stings. Had crazy nightmares again. Did you see the video I sent you?”

  “Yea, I don’t know how first responders knew which mounds of mush were you and which mounds of mush were Oswin.”

  “I mean I feel alright. I don't think they swapped our hearts or anything.”

  “I would be so sad if they swapped your hearts. Then you would be evil just like Oswin.”

  Kevin kicked Carmen’s foot playfully. “Comeon, Oswin is not that bad. He is just… misled. He has a good soul with some very wrong opinions.”

  “At least that creep is not currently torturing some new girl.”

  “About that– Oswin has a girlfriend again.”

  Carmen deflated. “That poor girl.”

  “She seems pretty cool too. Invited some of the racers to some party tomorrow.”

  “Do you think Tana is going to be there?”

  “I hope for Oswin’s sake she is not”

  “I hope for my entertainment she makes it in. I’m always rooting her on. She shows up, ruins Oswin’s day, then you tell me about it. And it's all the better because Oswin deserves it.”

  “Yes I know– debatable if Oswin deserves it. In other news, I also got invited to some insane fighting cult by a guy named Smith.”

  “Did it go well?”

  “It was this giant concrete complex underneath the nicest gym I have ever been to. I had to wear a robe and this weird mask with a fox on it. Everyone else was wearing something similar. They told me I had to do this big test. There would be 3 fighters, and I would fight each of them one by one. It really did not matter, the first guy crushed me. It was not even close, one of the most one-sided fights I have been in in my life. ”

  “Awww. So you got kicked out?”

  “Technically not yet. I am ‘under review’, whatever that means. What’s to review? I suck.” Kevin got off the couch and paced around the room. “I’m robbed of the opportunity of a rematch, so I’ll never learn from this and–”

  “Stop. Don’t do this. Make me dinner instead.”

  “Well that's a self-serving request.” Kevin thought about it for a moment. “What have you been eating while I was gone?”

  “Mac and cheese.”

  “Again? Only?”

  “Why would it change since the last time you left?”

  “I don't know.” Kevin threw his hands into the air. “Maybe you got tired of mac and cheese?” He started searching for available ingredients in the kitchen. “We will be having chickpea masala over rice tonight. You are doing the dishes.”

  “Yay.” Carmen exclaimed. She ran up and gave Kevin a hug. “Thank you for saving me from myself. Oh! Also do tell me everything that happens tomorrow at the party.”

  “Nothing is gonna happen, it's gonna be fine.”

  They both knew Kevin was wrong.