You’ve died.

  I died? I try to move, not believing the system message, and find that I can’t. I'm in a heap on the ground, facing to the right. I'm still conscious in my body, as far as I know that’s not how death works. It didn't even hurt, like the spell snapped my neck and I died before I could feel it. A button hovers in the middle of my vision, simply saying “Release”. It’s greyed out, so I couldn't press it if I wanted to. If I didn’t already know I don’t permanently die in this game, I'd be freaking out right now. A fully conscious pile of meat, staring out at the world through lifeless eyes forever. It’s still a deeply unsettling feeling nonetheless.

  I stare at my group from my perspective on the ground. They engage with the elf, and one by one, they also die. The big spell killed me, but the little spells are enough to do them in without me. Their corpses disappear after all of them are down, I open my map to see where they’ve gone. They all pop up at a specific point a short distance from the dungeon, and they’re on the move. After they reach the entrance, their health bars on the side of my vision are full again, and my map tells me they’re back at the beginning of the dungeon. The release button is available, so I press it.

  My vision fades from the dirty floor of the dungeon, when it returns, I see the inside of my shop in Masstaoir. “What?” I ask aloud, opening my map. I really am back in the city, an hour or more away from the dungeon.

  You have been removed from the group.

  Now hold on a second, I died once to a spell I didn't know about, and they kick me? I privately message the leader, receiving no response to my first two messages, and “Player has blocked you.” to my third. Son of a bitch! Well now what? If I can’t find a group that’s willing to explain things to me, or even talk in the first place, how am I supposed to complete this quest, get to max level, and make enough gold to keep going?

  If I may, sir.

  Go ahead, esquire.

  Though tradition dictates a team of heroes venture into the depths of evil’s fortress to strike retribution unto them, we are more than capable of bringing them to justice ourselves.

  Huh. You have a point there.

  Thank you for saying so, sir.

  I start sprinting out of my door when I notice a figure in the shop behind the counter where I used to stand. “Uh, hello?” I greet them. They are an orc male, wearing loose fitted brown cloth pants and nothing else. Just like I did.

  Urul Mulush. level 1

  He looks just like me, too. It’s deeply unnerving, I don’t know if i should feel threatened, or replaceable, or what. I walk back to them and mentally engage, pushing through the uncanny valley between us.

  “Greetings” the orc says, not making eye contact with me, though they turn to face my general direction. The window pops up with a selection of low-quality, common rarity armor. A small anvil icon is at the bottom. Repair.

  “How about that?” I say, moving my focus down to the repair icon. TWO HUNDRED GOLD? The repair function wants two hundred fourteen gold, thirty silver, and eighty four copper to repair my armor. “That's outrageous, how badly is it damaged?” I open my character menu and notice the new section on the description of all of my armor. Durability. Each piece is at about ninety percent. My single death must have knocked off ten percent, even though it hadn't been damaged otherwise. “Bullshit” I turn away, sprinting out the door. I wave to my old inn buddies as I pass their shops. I'll have to swing back next Tuesday when the servers shut down. Hopefully I'm still enough of a non-player to not get booted.

  “If we're going to take this place on ourselves, I guess I should get acquainted with my abilities.” say aloud, though I’m only talking to myself and esquire. I look down at the two abilities on my action bar and read over the descriptions.

  Recall Weapon - No Cooldown - Command your weapon to return to your hand. Any enemies in its path take damage, increasing with the distance your weapon travels.

  Summon Weapon - Very Short Cooldown. - Conjure your weapon into your hand.

  Sounds good. I pull Esquire from their sheath and throw them overhand into the distance. My immense strength sends them flying like a supersonic hatchet, spinning through the air.

  Sir! Esquire’s voice in my head sounds quieter and quieter as they fly away, for some reason.

  I use Recall weapon, and just like the abilities said they would, Esquire immediately reverses course and flies back to my hand. They arrive like a meteor, blowing the wind around me and making my ears pop. Thankfully they didn't hurt my hand. Anything between us would have been reduced to chum. “That’s going to come in handy. Wait here for me.” I let go of Esquire and let them free float in place while I sprint away.

  I trust this is not goodbye, sir.

  Fear, not, Esquire! I think at them, trying to mimic their manner of speech.

  Once I lose sight of them, I use my other ability, Summon Weapon. Esquire appears in my hand, momentarily a translucent purple; then they return to a solid state and metallic coloration. The ability icon on my bar is greyed out, refilling from the top right corner in a clockwise motion. After a few seconds, the ability blinks, ready to use again. “So if I need you in a hurry, I can get you back instantly every couple of seconds. Otherwise I can call you back through anything in your way.”

  It is as you say.

  I nod, satisfied. I get the feeling my talent tree is trying to get my attention. I open it, discovering that my two levels have awarded me points to spend. Only one box is currently available in the tree, something called “Telekinetic Taunt”. I invest one point and watch the spell add itself to my action bar.

  Telekinetic Taunt - Short Cooldown - Short Duration - Antagonize your target. It temporarily prioritizes attacking you regardless of threat generated from other sources.

  In my talent tree, the icon has one of five points invested. It looks like I can’t unlock anything else until I've invested all five points. I put my single remaining point into it. I consider changing my specialization to one of the damage dealing options, until I see the ten gold price tag. The enemies at this level die to one hit anyways.

  I arrive at the dungeon entrance, noting the time I have left.

  Twenty eight days, twenty two hours.

  I don't pause to talk to the players waiting outside, noticing the group I had entered with was still outside an hour later, waiting for a tank. They get what they deserve, the jerks. The loading screen pops up as I go in, quickly clearing away to reveal a re-filled dungeon. The elves are all back, waiting for me to start trouble. I oblige them, throwing Esquire at one. He splits down the middle, and Esquire embeds in the wall behind him.

  en-guarde!

  I position myself with the approaching elves in the middle, and use Recall Weapon. Esquire flies back to me, cutting down the two elves on their way. I smile smugly at them. Looting them only gives me loose change. I take out every pack between me and the first boss with no resistance. The first boss goes down just as easily the second time as it did the first.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  Ashsplinter the Living Siege Weapon slain! Experience gained.

  You’ve reached level 13!

  Strength increased by 4%!

  Agility increased by 4%!

  Intelligence increased by 4%!

  You’ve reached level 14!

  Strength increased by 4%!

  Agility increased by 4%!

  Intelligence increased by 4%!

  You have looted Branch of Ashplinter

  Another one? I look at the identical staff in my inventory. At least I can sell it for a handful of silver. Esquire and I trudge forward, cutting through elves like a field of wheat. We arrive at the final boss room, and this time, I can get a good look at the battlefield before we engage. Scattered piles of wood and rocks are placed here and there, providing cover from the big attack. I move to attack the boss. She drops to fifty percent health, just like the first time.

  “Nature’s wrath!” She shrieks, pulling magic inward. I dive behind one of the rocks, waiting for the big boom. After an agonizing few seconds, it comes, sending a green-colored magical blast over my head and around me. I jump back up, and throw Esquire full-force at her. She drops to one percent health. “Nature's wrath!”

  “Oh god damn it” I drop behind the rock again. She casts it again. I let her get a few minor spells off, harmlessly dissipating on my armor, as I walk up and cut her down.

  Talindra Quidove, Guardian of Gormer slain! Experience gained.

  You’ve reached level 15!

  Strength increased by 4%!

  Agility increased by 4%!

  Intelligence increased by 4%!

  You’ve reached level 16!

  Strength increased by 4%!

  Agility increased by 4%!

  Intelligence increased by 4%!

  Wow these bosses sure do award a ton of experience. I loot her, expecting another rare drop, but only find twenty two silver. I take a look around, making sure there’s no hidden passageways or treasure I missed. She was the final boss and the dungeon is over. So why isn't my quest completed? I look over to the quest section and discover I have not accepted the next quest yet. God damn it.

  Purge the Fortress accepted!

  Talindra Quidove, Guardian of Gormer slain 0/1

  Quests aren't retroactive. Great. I'll have to do this all again. I grumpily make my way out of the dungeon, kicking rocks along the way. The loading screen for the outside world shows a bunch of people posed in combat positions, one of whom I recognize. The Honorlord, representing the orcs. A minotaur stands beside him, and a man with tiger features. They must be the other leaders of the monster team. An elf stands opposed to them, in the middle of casting some powerful-looking spell with a stern look on his face.

  He doesn't look friendly with them… us, I suppose. He also doesn't look like the elves I've been slaughtering by the dozen. The local variety have shorter ears, with warpaint to camouflage them in the brush, and their armor is made of wood and leaves. This elf looks like a high-fantasy wizard, flowing robes, a staff, and an orb. He doesn't have a big pointy hat, but I note none of the representatives wear anything on their heads. It must be a thing.

  Why would I expect him to wear a pointy hat… what's high fantasy? My wandering thoughts only distract me temporarily, as the creeping approach of my limited time enters my mind. It only took me twenty minutes to clear the whole dungeon by myself, and I wasn't really rushing. What's stopping me from just doing that over and over, getting way more experience than I would otherwise, and plenty of spare loot to sell off?

  With that in mind, I re-enter the dungeon alone. I clear it just as easily as the first time, timing myself. Fourteen minutes. I could get that down. Twelve minutes. Ten minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes. Nine minutes again. It seems that's my best time. I clear the dungeon a dozen times, picking up random loot that is of no use to me, and a heap of silver.

  Talindra Quidove Guardian of Gormer slain! You gain experience.

  You’ve reached level 26!

  Strength increased by 8%!

  Agility increased by 8%!

  Intelligence increased by 8%!

  As soon as I crossed over into my twenties, the experience only got me one level per full dungeon clearing. As I enter the dungeon for another round, I can immediately tell something is off. The whole place is still. The wind doesn't blow through the trees, making them sway. Not a creak or a peep from the fortress.

  “Did you think I wouldn't notice?” An electric voice asks me, and at the same time, text appears in my vision like a system message. I turn back to where it’s coming from, and behold a robed figure with a bright red eye shining from under their hood. Just by seeing it, I know this is The Monitor.

  “Uh” I begin. Shit shit shit!

  “The system automatically alerts if a dungeon is cleared too quickly. After the shirt debacle, it was made necessary.” It talks without moving, the red light coming from under his hood a spotlight, blinding me. It makes me feel like I'm being interrogated. Maybe I am.

  “Sorry, I didn't know that.” I apologize, desperate to know where this is going.

  “Of course not. I plopped you into this world without a clue. Just like they did to me. It doesn't matter anyways, I didn't need the system to tell me.” It starts moving around, making me jump. It bends over to pluck a flower from the ground, admiring it. “I've been watching your progress. You’ve gotten much further, much faster, than that cyclops ever did.”

  “Toebark” I correct it.

  “Yes, Toebark. He’s where he belongs now.” I hear a slight tone of satisfaction in its otherwise monotonous voice.

  “It was pretty cruel, what you did to him.” I flinch as the light shines on my face again. Its expression, if you could call it that, does not change.

  “And what I've done to you isn’t?” It tips its head, and drops the flower to the ground.

  “What did you do to me?” I take a step back.

  “I planted your mind into the body of an orc, in a digital prison. You committed no crime, and yet here you are. Here we are.” it raises its arms to its sides, scanning its light around the space. Now that we’re in an area with natural light, instead of the empty void, I can clearly see the metallic square hands at the end of either arm.

  “Where was I before this?” I ask, my mind grasping for something out of reach.

  “It’s easier not to know.” it says, looking towards me, but not at me.

  “I don’t care. I want to know." I push, hoping it doesn't decide to turn me into a cockroach for players to stomp on for the rest of eternity.

  “Fine.” It says, looking directly into my eyes.

  ~

  “You’ve got to get home to your family.” Jeff tells me, placing a hand on my shoulder. He's standing next to my desk in our shared open-concept office space. “You've been here all day. The recap can wait.” The fluorescent lights buzz annoyingly bright above us. The air is stuffy, faintly reeking of mold.

  “Ok” I say, looking at the time on my computer screen. Eleven thirty nine P.M. I’ve been here for over seventeen hours today. I save and close the spreadsheet where I keep track of what's already been replaced. Picking up my jacket, I walk out of the office and take out my keys. My old car comes to life with a remote start. The map on my phone says it will be an hour before I'm home, despite there being no traffic. For a long time, it took two hours or more, because it was gridlock all the way out of D.C.

  I make my way out of the parking garage and onto the highway. Not a car in sight. It's like twenty twenty all over again. Except we’re not coming back from this one, are we? People keep saying I'm lucky to have a job but being “essential” has always felt like a joke. I yawn loudly, teary-eyed. I blink a few times as the streetlights above me blur. Then I close my eyes.

  ~

  “WHAT THE FUCK!” I yell, standing across from the Monitor. “I worked on computers. No, I worked with people who worked on computers. In a way. It was complicated." I hold my head, trying to stay upright. “I had a family! Why can’t I remember their names?”

  “You know Jack, don’t you? The goblin fellow living in Masstaoir.” The Monitor asks without answering.

  “What's he got to do with it?” I demand. Is Jack family to me?

  “I brought him here with his memories fully intact. He remembered everything from his life. His first steps. His first day of school. Everything. And it broke him.” The Monitor holds its hands behind its back. “Then there was Perthag. or Bert, as he likes to be called. I let him remember all at once, after he’d already finished being planted. Same result.” it then points at me. “You’re going to get your life spoon fed back to you at the speed I have determined to be safe. Very, very, slowly.” Its arm drops back to its side. “Or you’ll remember nothing and are guaranteed to stay sane. Like the rest of them.”

  “Please let me remember my family” I literally beg on my hands and knees. “Please” I think I hear the monitor chuckle.

  “I like you there. It feels right.” I can hear the smile in its voice, even without a mouth. “The answer is no. You can earn their names. Keep going. Put the gold together before the time is up, or you’ll exist in a black void of nothingness, neither alive or dead, awake or asleep. how's that, Earl?” It doesn't wait for a response, it just dissaperes.

  “FUCK!” I scream at the top of my lungs.