Ansel stomped into the house, the three hour drive home having done little to calm him.

  What did calm him, however, was the tiny blur of blonde hair that threw itself at him the moment he walked in the door.

  “Ansel! You’re home!” Lisa shouted, grabbing a hold of him for dear life.

  “Hey there, gremlin.” Ansel said, his mood lifting greatly as he embraced his little sister. “Is Auntie Dora still here?”

  “We were just making some dinner.” Dora, a squat woman with short salt-and-pepper bck hair, said as she popped her head out from the kitchen. She adjusted her horn rimmed gsses as her brown eyes inspected Ansel. “How was your day?”

  “It was…. Eventful.” Ansel said, shrugging. He absolutely did not want to discuss the finer detail of today’s shitshow with her. He didn’t even want to think about how badly he’d fucked things up.

  He really didn’t want to think of the look on Jason’s face when Ansel had exploded at him. Jason hadn’t deserved that, even if he was being a jackass.

  Dora seemed to pick up on Ansel’s discomfort, but didn’t pry. “We’ve made some carbonara, did you want some?” She asked instead.

  “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.” Ansel said, forcing a smile as he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table. His phone chimed.

  [19:32] Jessica Tierney: Good evening! How did your meetup go? Or are you two still ‘just hanging out’? ;)

  Ansel buried his face in his hands and groaned. Already? Wasn’t it like 2 in the morning over there? She had her own date the night before as well. A third date, no less. Well, if she was texting him at 2am instead of eating her new girlfriend out, it probably meant that her date hadn’t gone well either. That didn’t make him feel any better.

  He felt a pressure on his left shoulder. Auntie Dora had pced her hand on it.

  “You doing okay, kiddo?” She asked, a tinge of concern in her voice.

  “I’m fine. Just been a long drive.” Ansel said, fidgeting with his phone absentmindedly. “Speaking of which, are you staying the night or heading back?”

  “Your father isn’t here, so I may as well crash on the couch and head home in the morning.” Auntie Dora replied as she handed Lisa a bowl of goopy pasta.

  Ansel nodded. He didn’t actually know where his dad was at the moment, owing to his career as a road train truck driver. Not that the guy was around much even when he wasn’t on the road.

  Lisa plopped her bowl on the table and hopped into a chair. “I’m gonna stay up te and watch scary movies tonight.” She announced.

  “Oh, are you now?” Ansel said, smiling softly at her.

  “Yep. Auntie Dora said I could.”

  Ansel gnced over to Auntie Dora, who smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “Nothing too terrifying. I was thinking something like Coraline. If you’re okay with it.” She said.

  “Coraline is absolutely terrifying.” Ansel replied. “But it’s not a school night, so I don’t see why we can’t watch it.”

  “We?” Lisa’s eyes lit up. “You’re gonna watch it with us?”

  “Yeah, I love that movie.” Ansel said, picking himself up from the table and walking into the kitchen, where he grabbed a bottle of merlot from the fridge.

  Auntie Dora raised an eyebrow. Rightly so, Ansel wasn’t a heavy drinker, but after today he was practically desperate for something to calm his mind.

  “Want a gss?” Ansel asked her. “And no, Lisa, you can’t have any.”

  “That stuff tastes like butts anyway.” Lisa said, making a gagging sound. Auntie Dora merely giggled while nodding.

  “You’re not wrong.” Ansel said, pouring the wine into two gsses and handing one to his Aunt.

  Auntie Dora looked back at him. “Honey, are you sure you’re okay?” She asked.

  “I’m fine!” Ansel said, trying to put on a smile. It felt more like a grimace to him, and judging by his Aunt’s reaction, it looked like one too.

  “Look, I’d rather not talk about the mess that was today.” Ansel confessed, in the hopes that giving her a morsel of what had happened would satiate her.

  Auntie Dora nodded, and thankfully held her tongue.

  Ansel sighed and took a long sip of the wine. It was fruity and tart, and part of Ansel hated himself for liking it more than beer.

  Time to stop procrastinating. He picked up his phone and sent a reply to Jess.

  [19:47] Ansel: I’m home safely. It was a bit of a failure. I’m down for a call to talk about it if you want.

  Ansel set the phone down and took another swig of wine. He still didn’t really want to talk about it, but Jess was the only person he felt safe discussing his feelings with, and after today he kinda just needed to hear her voice.

  He immediately got a response from her, in the form of his phone bsting the Skype call music. Ansel flinched slightly as the sound hit him. Jess was really keen for a conversation, apparently.

  “I gotta take this, enjoy your food.” Ansel said, grabbing his phone and darting into his room, shutting the door behind him. He sat down at his desk, where his computer— which was always powered on— was also bsting the familiar call music.

  “Good morning!” He said right after jamming the accept call button. Jess’s face lit up his screen. She was sitting in her desk chair, wearing a bathrobe, bags under her eyes and her short pixie cut somehow disheveled. Ansel had never seen somebody so beautiful.

  “It’s not morning yet.” She yawned in reply, taking a sip from a coffee mug.

  “It’s like three am over there, which is morning.” Ansel snorted. “Why are you still awake?”

  “I wanted to see your face.” Jess said, giving him a soft little grin with her shrug.

  There was a moment of silence, both of them seemingly too busy basking in the other’s gaze to speak. Eventually, though, Jess managed to break the spell. “Also, I wanna hear how your date with Chloe went.”

  Ansel’s stomach dropped about a meter. “Uh, let’s not worry about that right now.” He said, far too quickly. Time to change to subject. “How was your date?”

  The soft little grin erupted into a full on evil smirk, the smugness of it emanating through the monitor, followed by some very obvious lip biting. Oh, her date had apparently gone very well.

  “Spill the beans.” Ansel prodded, draining the remainder of the wine gss in one mouthful.

  “We had dinner, a movie, some drinks…” Jess started.

  “Mmhm. Must have been a long movie.” Ansel said, poking his tongue out.

  “Wouldn’t know, we only got ten minutes into it. Those beans I just spilt got a thorough licking, let me tell you.”

  A mix of emotions flushed through Ansel’s system. Happiness, because his friend deserved something good in her life. Envy, because that good thing wasn’t happening to him as well. Sadness, because he wanted to be that thing for her.

  “Well, I’m gd you managed to get some.” He smiled amicably.

  “Oh I did. Then I got to meet her wife.”

  Ansel was out of wine for a spit-take, so he cracked his palm against his forehead instead. “Please dear god tell me that you met her in a fun polyamorous way and not in a home wrecker way.”

  “Fun polyam way.” Jess said in a sing song voice. “Very fun, as it turns out.”

  “Don’t tell me-”

  “Oh no, not that.” Jess scoffed. “What do you take me for, some kind of slut?”

  “You’ve used that word to describe yourself on multiple occasions, my love.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m not the sort to jump into a threesome like that.”

  “It was on the table, though, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it was.” Jess curled up in her chair, pulling her knees to her face and cpping her hands together. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted.”

  “Well, I’m happy for you. ” Ansel tried to smile at her, although he could tell that it looked hollow. “At least one of us is getting lucky.”

  Jess put on her best bedroom eyes, staring at Ansel with enough intensity that he was surprised their monitors didn’t melt. “Fly over here, and both of us will.”

  Ansel felt his stomach twist into a knot, the urge to open the Qantas website nearly overwhelming, even if he knew that it would end in heartbreak.

  “Jess, please don’t tempt me. You know that won’t end well.”

  “No, you know that it won’t end well.” Jess huffed. “You broke up with me. I was trying to make this work.”

  “Let’s not do this.” Ansel was ending this tired argument before it began. They’d had it many times before, and Ansel didn’t want to spend the next three hours debating the finer points with her yet again. “Besides, I’d just cramp your sapphic style.”

  Jess blew a raspberry to that comment. “Bitch, no you wouldn’t.”

  “Really?” Ansel ughed. “I can see it now. ‘Hello there fellow lesbians, have you met my boyfriend? He’s six feel tall and reeks of testosterone.’”

  “If that’s a problem for you, I can just slip a little something into your morning coffee.” Jess winked.

  “Forced feminisation is not a joke, Jim!” Ansel said in his best Dwight-from-the-office voice. The two burst into ughter.

  “Anyway!” Jess continued forward, once she had managed to compose herself enough. “Your turn to spill the beans!”

  Ansel’s ughter vanished immediately as the events of the park returned to the front of his mind.

  “That thousand yard stare you got there bodes poorly.”

  “It was catastrophic.” Ansel sighed.

  Jess tilted her head. “Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

  Ansel sighed. May as well get this over with. “t started okay, I guess. Things with Chloe were weird but you know how I am around new people.”

  “You can be a bit of a walled garden, yeah.”

  “Well, we were sort of getting along, but when we left the group to be alone one of the guys stuck with us.”

  “Oh no.” Jess said, leaning in slightly. “You got a third wheel?”

  Ansel barked a ugh. “No, I became the third wheel.” He said bitterly. “Guy completely upstaged me.”

  “How do you mean?” Jess said, taking a sip of her coffee.

  “Well first off, the guy is just unfairly gorgeous. Like he’s nearly as pretty as you are. I look like a ghoul in comparison to him.” Ansel said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  Jess squinted at him as if she was trying to read something written on his forehead. “I doubt that, you’re very handsome.” She said slowly. Ansel tried not to gag at her description. That woman needed gsses.

  “…Interesting way to describe it though.” She said, still peering at him.

  “He’s just… Urgh, perfect. He pys the guitar, has the same taste in books and music as me and Chloe, but he’s far more charismatic than I am. Guy had Chloe eating out of his hand.” Ansel pressed on, choosing to ignore her little footnote, along with the absolutely unreadable look she was currently giving him. Those looks were rare these days, considering how intimately he knew her, but it was never a good sign.

  “At the end, after she left, I blew up at him.” Ansel finished, squeezing his eyes shut, picturing the event in his mind. At the time, he had been so angry, so frustrated at the little shit that he hadn’t thought about anything but venting his anger. He could still picture Jason’s terrified face as he towered over him.

  “That’s… Okay.” Jess said, still staring at him.

  “I really fucked up, Jess.” Ansel whispered.

  “Was he… deliberately trying to push you out?” Jess asked slowly, wearing an expression so stony that Ansel briefly wondered if her new girlfriend had snakes instead of hair.

  “That’s the thing!” Ansel buried his face in his hands. “He said he was trying to be my friend.”

  “Oh goddamn it, Ans.” Jess muttered. “I love you, but you’re an idiot. No, you’re a highly insecure dumbass.”

  Ansel nodded without lifting his head from his hands.

  “I take it the blow up was bad?”

  “It was, yeah.” He whispered.

  “Apologise.” Jess ordered. “Right now.”

  That actually did make him lift his head, locking eyes with her. “But-”

  “No!” She had her drill sergeant voice on now. Or her mum voice. They were the same, really. “I remember how you and Rose used to get, and I know you’re too anxious to reach out to him on your own, so I’m telling you to fucking do it right now. Maybe you can salvage a friend out of this, which was the entire point of this whole thing to begin with!”

  Okay, Jess was pissed.

  Ansel had one choice. Surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll send him a text.”

  “Now!” She barked.

  So Ansel pulled out his phone and opened a Facebook DM with Jason.

  [20:13] Ansel: Hey, I just wanted to apologise for what I did at the park. That was completely uncalled for, and I have no excuses for it. I promise it won’t happen again.

  “Apology sent.” Ansel said, pcing his phone back down on the desk. After what had happened, he wasn’t expecting a reply at all, so that was that.

  As, the moment those thoughts crossed his mind, the phone chimed.

  Fuck, fuck. The silent treatment he could deal with, but Jason was absolutely going to tear him a new one. There wasn’t any other reason why he would respond that quickly, let alone at all.

  He lifted the phone timidly, and clicked the screen on.

  [20:15] Jason Collins: Yeah, ngl that wasn’t fun. I’ve been looking for friends ever since my ex and I broke up, and you seem like somebody that would be a good one.

  Ansel’s heart sank as the realisation that he was a complete jackass set in. Jason was in the same boat as Ansel.

  [20:15] Ansel: Again, I’m really sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.

  [20:16] Jason Collins: Hmmm, actually.

  [20:16] Jason Collins: I have an idea about that.

  Well, that was ominous.

  [20:17] Jason Collins: You going to Abigail and William’s party next Saturday night?

  Dear god, what was it with people and parties?

  No, Ansel hadn’t been pnning on it. Being away for two evenings in a week was already a bit much for Lisa. The girl had become more than a little clingy ever since their mother…

  Well, a third night would be pushing it.

  [20:18] Ansel: I wasn’t pnning on it.

  [20:18] Jason Collins: It’d be nice to see you there, maybe with less shouting and with more you actually responding to my attempts to be your friend?

  Jeez, why was this guy trying so hard?

  “How’s it going over there?” Jess asked, her eyes drooping shut.

  “He asked if I was going to another party next weekend.” Ansel groaned.

  “Huh.” Jess raised an eyebrow. “You’re going, right?”

  “Wasn’t pnning to. I’m pushing my luck with Lisa as it is.”

  “You. Are. Going.”

  Ansel scoffed. “Okay, let me check with my Aunt first.” He said, before thumbing the mute button on his keyboard, in an effort to spare Jess’s eardrums.

  “Hey Auntie!” He shouted.

  Footsteps, then the sound of the door opening behind him. He turned around to see the smiling woman. “What’s going on, love?”

  “Do you mind taking Lisa again next Saturday night? I’ve been invited out.”

  Auntie Dora nodded eagerly, grinning in a way that could only imply that she was as happy to see Ansel getting his ass out of the house as Jess was. “Absolutely! I had pns with my housemate, but I can shuffle things around-”

  Lisa shoved her way past Aunt Dora, a scowl on her face. Well, that wasn’t surprising.

  “I was thinking of having Auntie Dora watch you again next Saturday night so I can hang out with a friend. Sound good to you?” Ansel said. He’d learnt a while ago that the best way to tackle these sorts of things with her was to just treat her like an adult. An adult that still hadn’t figured out the whole ‘emotional maturity’ thing, but she apparently had that in common with Ansel, and he was an actual adult, even if he didn’t feel like one.

  Lisa just pouted at him.

  Time for the carrot. “I’ll let you mow the wn. With the ride-on.”

  Lisa’s face lit up with joy. Having a child that liked tinkering with, and zooming around on, machinery had its positives. It was probably going to be a problem once she hit sixteen and could actually start driving, but for now Ansel was taking full advantage.

  “We’ll need to get it fixed first.” She stated.

  Ansel raised an eyebrow. “I thought we did?”

  “I got it started, but now it won’t.” Lisa’s face turned sheepish, but Ansel decided not to enquire about when she had been toying with the wn mower unsupervised. “I think there’s a fuel delivery problem.”

  “We’ll have a look at it tomorrow.” He conceded. Not that she likely needed the help, the twelve year old girl was already more of a gearhead than Ansel was. You let a kid help you with an oil change one time and it becomes a lifetime obsession, apparently.

  “Okay then, you can go. Oh, hey Jess!” Lisa had peeked around Ansel and was looking at the monitor, which was dispying a frantically waving Jess on the screen.

  Ansel unmuted the microphone and switched to speaker, swinging his chair to the side as he did so.

  “Hey there!” Jess beamed down at Lisa. It had been, what, three years since they had both seen the other in the flesh? “My, you’re growing fast. You’ll be as tall as your brother, at this rate!”

  “Hopefully!” Lisa beamed. “Ans said that he would watch Coraline with me.”

  “Well, don’t let me keep you.” Jess tapped her chin. “As long as he goes to that party next weekend! Can I trust you to make sure he doesn’t back out?”

  “Aye aye!” Lisa gave Jess a mock salute.

  “Go get the movie ready, gremlin.” Ansel smiled. “Jess, I’m gonna have to let you go.”

  Jess responded with a yawn. “Sounds good, I need a shower.”

  “Go to bed.”

  Jess poked her tongue out. “Fine. I love you.”

  “Love you too.” Ansel smiled softly as the call terminated.

  “You LOVE her? Ew.” Lisa said from the hallway, making a gagging sound.

  “Go put the DVD in!” Aunt Dora shouted from behind Ansel, before lowering her voice and giggling. “Did you seriously just use chores as an incentive?”

  “Gotta take advantage of the novelty before she becomes a teenager and realises that physical work actually sucks.” Ansel grinned, standing from the desk.

  “You’ll make an amazing father one day, Ans.” Aunt Dora’s tone was warm and sincere, and made Ansel’s heart stop and his body squirm with discomfort. He had enough on his pte with just his sister, he did not want to think about any future children of his own. Besides, after today, it was clear that even the opportunity to become a parent wasn’t going to present itself any time soon.

  He grabbed his phone and tapped out a message to Jason.

  [20:32] Ansel: Okay, I’ll be there. I owe you that much.

  First, more wine. Second, popcorn. Third, a children’s horror movie about parental neglect. Wait, this might not be the best movie for Lisa, after all.

  He was half way through the next gss of wine, and half an hour into the movie, before his phone chimed again.

  [20:57] Jason Collins: Yay!

  [20:58] Jason Collins: Maybe afterwards we can hang out alone? If it goes well.

  That was reasonable. Ansel couldn’t bme the guy for wanting to hang out in a group setting first. Not after today. He tapped out a reply without really thinking about the wording.

  [21:00] Ansel: Sounds like a date then.

  Which had apparently been a bad idea. Ansel stared at the phone, the realisation of what he just wrote hitting him like lightning. Why the fuck did he write that? Oh right, the lovely dizziness from the wine was kicking in.

  [21:00] Ansel: Pn. I meant to say pn.

  [21:00] Jason Collins: WOW :O

  [21:00] Jason Collins: Buy me a drink first. ;)

  [21:03] Ansel: I owe you one after what happened today, so I will. Anyway, I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight!

  Ansel pced his phone down of the coffee table, face down, and leaned back. Lisa leaned against him, munching on popcorn as Ansel took another long swig of his wine.

  Was he seriously flirting with the guy he had hurled verbal abuse at not six hours before? What the fuck was wrong with him? What the fuck was wrong with Jason for being receptive to that?

  His phone chimed again, and Ansel felt himself leaning back over to snatch it from the table.

  [21:05] Jason Collins: I’ll hold you to that. ;) Goodnight! <3

  Never had emojis been so foreboding.