I dipped under the hot water and scrubbed the decades of dust off my scalp. Surfacing, I said, "I've never been so filthy."
Angra scoffed. "You? How do you think I feel?"
"In all the decades I've been dead, why didn't you come back here and take a bath?"
A wave of water hit me in the face. "The doors were enchanted to only open for you!"
I searched my memories. "Didn't I set them so you could come into our sanctum without me?"
She dipped her mouth under the water and blew bubbles for a minute. "Yeah, you did... but..."
A vision of her spilling one of my best body oils flowed into my head. Then another followed, that one of her pulling far too hard on one of my favorite shirts and tearing it in half. "Ah, that's right. You kept breaking things." I flicked water at her. "Serves you right."
She dipped back under the water and bubbled more before floating over to me. "Master, turn around. Let me clean your hair." I did as she requested, and her little hands were quickly running soaps and oils through my filthy, long black hair.
We took turns shampooing each other's hair, washing one another's backs, and pulling the tangles out of the rat's nests we called hair with my collection of fine brushes and combs. Looking down into the water, I couldn't begin to process the amount of filth that flowed off of us. Something deep in me, the part that was an elf, recoiled in horror at the sight, but I couldn't help but smile.
This had been our ritual for over a century. We'd travel, murder some upstart hero, or burn down some rebellious village, then find the finest bathhouse in whichever city was nearest and soak our troubles away in its warm waters. When I'd finally finished constructing the vault, we'd teleport home and enjoy this very sanctuary, far, far away from the troubles of the world. And now, after who knew how long, we were here again, enjoying a quiet moment together. It was one of the few pleasures that I'd ever felt was mine and mine alone in my previous life.
"What are you smiling about?"Angra's golden eyes were glowing in the dim light.
I realized I'd been staring. "I was thinking about things. About the past."
"Anything good?"
"Yeah." A memory popped into my head. "Do you remember when we took the city of Boredain?"
"Was that the one when we sat in the fields for six months and they all starved? I hated that one. It was so boring. Zaros's plans are always so boring."
"No, not that one. That was the Siege of Caso. Boredain, in Volkash. We snuck in and opened the gate in the middle of the night."
"Oh yeah! Once the army got into the walls, they didn't even put up a fight."
"Yeah, that one. Do you remember what we did after?"
She thumbed her chin. "We lived in the castle for a while. You turned the baron or whatever into your jester. His wife did my nails. That was fun." She looked back at me. "Why'd that come up?"
I laughed. "I think I want to do something like that again."
"Another war?" Her face scrunched up. "I guess it was fun sometimes, but war is mostly just marching and waiting. Do we really have to? I kind of wanted to..." Her eyes lowered. "Can't we do something else?"
I shook my head. "No, not the war part. The castle part. We should find another one."
Her eyes lit up. "You mean it?"
"Yeah. It would be fun."
She clapped her hands together. "Can we get those monsters again? What were they called? The ones from Malrith."
"Drakes?"
"Yeah! Drakes. I want to ride another one."
The image of her too-small body bouncing on a massive black drake filtered into my mind's eyes. She loved that thing and was devastated when it got cut down in battle. She sulked for a good month. "Yeah, we can do that. But maybe we'll find a whole dragon to ride this time."
Her eyes doubled in size. "A... dragon..." She squeaked. "Yesssss!"
I always wanted to ride a dragon. I added that entry to my mental list of things I'd like to do in my new life. "What about you? Is there anything that you want to do?"
Her eyes lowered again. I didn't remember her being so shy. "Well, there's one thing..."
"Which is?"
She opened her mouth but closed it before speaking.
"No need to be shy, little one."
She didn't look up, but a light smile turned the corners of her lips. "Silly master. A lady's allowed to keep her secrets."
"Since when are you a lady?"
Another wave of water struck my face. "I've always been a lady!"
"I wouldn't say that. You're more like a... cat. Pretty. Moody. Bites when overstimulated. Yeah, you're a cat."
"Is that how you see me?" Her cheeks puffed out. "Am I some obedient, well-trained pet to you?"
"Well, I wouldn't say you're well-trained."
"Raaaghh!!!" A red streak slammed into me. My head dipped under the waves as the little creature bit and clawed at me. She was definitely stronger than me now. After some struggle, I managed to surface, and the sounds of our laughter and play-fighting filled the small bathing chamber.
***
After far too many rounds of shampoo and hair oils, we soaped and lathered ourselves, finally scrubbing the last of the dirt and grime away.
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Then, we floated in the soapy water for what had to have been hours. By the time the book's grumbling was loud enough to hear through the heavy iron door, my fingers and toes were fully pruned. But I didn't care. I was clean. I thanked my past self for reinforcing the enchantments in this one room. If there was anything I would have protected, it would have been my bath.
Ignoring the book for a little longer, I bobbed in the lapping waves, my head nestled in a small flotation device I had found ages ago in the north, and my mind drifted to the most important subject of all: Me.
I laughed. I had always been vain. Vain and cosmopolitan. Exquisite baths, vigorous massages, fine clothing, well-coifed hair, buffed nails. I enjoyed all the finer things. I had once heard that one's body is one's temple from some otherworlder I seduced, and I took it to heart. If a commoner's body was their temple, then my body was the most important temple in all of Reial. I had to care for it well.
Aside from Selene, my old companions didn't share my tastes. Helia was too submissive, Zaros too focused. Thorne never stuck around long enough to enjoy anything, and Nocturne was... Nocturne. That's why it was such a relief that Angra took to my tastes. The average imp certainly didn't enjoy the kinds of things that my little companion did. Not that I hadn't done my best to ensure a good match when I bound her. It's why I almost died at the end of my apprenticeship.
Most mages summoned familiars that matched their personalities. Little dragons, fairies, a variety of woodland critters. Most familiars were either cute, fearsome, or at the very least bland enough to be unoffensive. A mage's familiar said something about them, and like attracted like. The essence most like a mage's inner nature responded to their call, and, once shaped, the resulting creatures then took on elements of their masters' personalities.
However, because the Dark Lord decided to poison my mother's womb when I was still unborn, I had an unfortunate limitation as a blossoming young mage. I was limited to creatures tied to my Dark Father's essence. That meant I had only one real option: I had to summon and bind an imp.
Normally, imps were foul. They had gangly, misshapen bodies, large fangs with lips too small to cover them, and all manner of lumps and bruises and sores that never seemed to heal. They were disgusting. When Aughra told me summoning a familiar was a mandatory part of becoming a mage, I refused.
She beat me badly for that.
When I finally healed, I was determined to do it, but decided I would do it my own way. I summoned the dark essence that made up Angra's animus rather easily, me being a prodigy and all. However, when it came to shaping the creature's corpus, I refused to take the path of least resistance. I used every ounce of power and will in me to prevent its essence from taking the shape that came most naturally to it. Using an especially costly mana charge and the ring that Selene later stole, I succeeded at redirecting the process.
That cost me.
For four days, I struggled against the dark essence I called forth. By the end of the fourth night, I was fully drained, at the edge of death, and in desperate need of food and water.
But I was victorious.
A little red imp in the shape of a miniature woman lay in my summoning circle, her yellow eyes hazily locked onto mine. She was nothing like the other imps I'd seen. She was perfection itself. With a final word of power, I bound her essence to mine, and we were one.
Then I blacked out.
Three weeks later, I woke up with the little creature resting on my chest, her head nestled in my neck. After, when Mistress Aughra beat me for my recklessness, I named my little servant Angra in honor of my master's temper. It wasn't my best pun, but I was young, and it pleased me immensely when the old orc's eyes nearly fell out of her old skull.
My training tripled after that, but it was all worth it.
The sound of humming pulled me back to the present. Beside me, Angra was humming some old song I couldn't remember, which reverberated off the bath's stone walls. The song was familiar, but I couldn't place where I remembered it.
"You seem happy, master." She was oiling her red skin, which glinted in the light of the glowstones.
"I was just thinking of more memories."
She smiled at me from the edge of the pool, her small fangs gleaming in the light of the glowstones. "Was it the time we burned that town to the ground? I still remember their faces when you marched them to the fields to watch their nasty little huts burn. Served them right for not paying tribute."
She was always more bloodthirsty than I was. Difficult, considering I was one of the avatars of the Dark Lord, and she was an imp. "No, I was just thinking about when I summoned you."
"Oh..." Her golden eyes gazed down on me. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but a small shake of her head cast the thought away. I knew the gesture. I did it, too. "Thank you for that. Risking your life for me, that is. I would have hated to be gross. Like Pelwar. He's foul." She shuddered. "The pimples..."
Pelwar was the imp servant that served Zaros. Foul didn't begin to describe it. The thing was disgusting. We couldn't let it inside. It drooled everywhere.
"He really is. Or was. And you're welcome, my dear."
She smiled and continued tending to herself.
Taking inspiration from her, I climbed out of the water and began drying and oiling my everything.
***
When we were done, I pulled the bath's door open. The book tried to get our attention, but we ignored it entirely. Marching across the hallway, we firmly shut the door behind us as we entered our closet.
What I found inside nearly brought tears to my eyes.
"Angra..."
"Yes?"
"It's beautiful."
I ran my fingers up and down the rows of immaculately crafted clothes, savoring the feeling of the soft fabrics beneath my fingertips. Everything was as I left it. It was all here.
After indulging myself for a time, I chose my favorite traveling clothes: a black quilted vest and red tunic combo, both lined with gold thread. Pairing those with loose, comfortable traveling pants, I threw a fine weatherproof cloak over my arm and got dressed.
"Ooohh, clothes really do make the man." Angra eyed me from behind as I eyed myself in the mirror.
"They certainly do." When I finished, I packed several other outfits into my favorite pack, which I had luckily stored in the closet before my untimely death. Then, I fished out a pair of sturdy black boots from behind a stack of shoes. Once those were on, I pulled the bracers that Angra had found onto my wrists.
I couldn't exactly remember what they did, so I pulled up my scroll.
- [Fine Bronze Bracers]
- [Bear's Resilience]
They were well-crafted, if simple, and quite weak compared to my past self, but they would do for now. I shoved the coin purse I had found in a drawer into my vest's pocket and to the corner, where Angra was getting dressed.
The little imp had donned her favorite clothes out of the miniature wardrobe I had constructed for her. The little red imp wore a sleeveless leather vest with a dark bronze buckle in the front and a small pair of matching shorts with a cutout for her tail. Long leather boots rose past her knees, and matching fingerless leather gloves extended past her elbows. She accented the ensemble with a thick black choker, which I knew had no enchantments but was an accessory she particularly liked.
I remembered when she demanded I have the outfit crafted for her after she had seen Selene in one of her more revealing infiltration outfits. The imp claimed that the outfit let her move freely, but I was sure my vanity had rubbed off on her, mixing with an intense jealousy the imp had developed over Selene. I never quite understood the feeling. Jealousy never made sense to me.
Everything in the world was already mine. If nothing could be taken from me, what use was jealousy?
I watched as she tucked little blades into her gloves. Then, she finished, turned, and looked up at me. Her brows were furrowed, and she couldn't quite meet my eye. I understood the behavior from other women I'd known, but I didn't understand why she'd adopted it. In truth, she'd adopted several behaviors I didn't remember from the past. I'd have to figure out where they came from as we traveled.
But, until then, I decided to treat the "Lady" as she wished to be treated. Bowing deeply, I said, "You look exquisite."
Her eyes glowed. "Really?"
"As radiant as the stars on a moonless night."
She blushed furiously. "Master..."
Standing back upright, I struck a pose. "How do I look?"
"Like a man ready to conquer the world," the imp responded without hesitation, her golden eyes glowing.
"Then I'll be worthy of standing at the side of the incomparable woman before me."
She shuffled, her cheeks growing three shades darker. "Stupid idiot..."
I realized I could get used to playing off of her newfound shyness. "Do you need anything else? I don't think we'll be back for a while."
She smacked her cheeks. "Nope."
"Ready?"
"Ready."
Side by side, we stepped out of our closet and onto the path that led to our future.
One step in, we found the grimoire lying face down in the hallway and grumbling loudly.