“A real fight?” Amara repeated, head tilted. “You mean with another Ascendant?”

  I nodded. “Sure. Anyone actually willing to hurt me would do. I need to see what it feels like to be in danger.”

  “You… know what being in danger is like,” Amara replied. “You nearly died about a week ago.”

  “That’s not what I meant. Obviously I know, I just… I don’t think I can be at my full potential if there isn’t something pushing me to be. I think I need real consequences if I fail.”

  It was so awkward to explain, and I couldn’t really say it how I wanted to, but the simple truth was, Cael’s memories weren’t mine. Watching them was like spectating a really vivid dream, but I still felt like a spectator.

  I didn’t know what encroaching death really felt like. I didn’t know what it felt like to fight for my life. I didn’t know what it felt like to be Cael Soulgrave…

  I was hoping something like this might be the difference-maker.

  “Maybe I can just push you harder. There’s got to be something more I can do to help you.”

  Her face scrunched when she was puzzling over something. She almost looked like she was holding back a sneeze.

  “It’s nothing you’ve done wrong,” I tried to reassure her. “You’ve been great. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. I just think I need something more drastic than yelling to get to the next level.”

  “We could fight,” Amara suggested. “But… if I come home with bruises my family’s going to be even more suspicious of me. My cousin already noticed me sneaking out with food last night. I doubt he’ll say anything now, but if I start coming home with injuries, he might.”

  Fighting Amara had crossed my mind. I knew she was a stage below me, but with how I wasn’t fully harnessing my own potential right now, she’d probably beat me in hand to hand combat. That’d make her good at helping me tap into my full strength…

  But I needed to actually feel in danger. I knew that she wasn’t going to try and seriously hurt me, after all, and I was pretty sure I couldn’t bring myself to actually try and hurt her. It was a difficult problem, and it needed a solution that made actual sense.

  Was there someone at my level I could fight? Someone who wouldn’t have any qualms about hurting me?

  I’m sure I could go out and make a quick enemy if I really needed to, but that wasn’t exactly in my best interests if I was trying to keep a low profile. Ascendants weren’t exactly discreet when it came to feuds.

  “I need someone that’ll fight me seriously, make me fight back, and won’t let the whole guild know that I’ve recovered already.”

  Maybe I could pay someone? With what money? Why did this have to be so difficult…

  “Does it have to be another Ascendant?” Amara asked.

  I suddenly had a brainwave. A snippet of memory I would’ve never deemed relevant enough to go looking for. God, that would have taken me ages without her help.

  “There are feral beasts in the forest past the walls. That what you’re thinking?”

  She eyed me. “I had the idea, but I didn’t bother mentioning it. That’s actually dangerous, Cael. The beasts in the forest aren’t well-documented, and some of them are completely terrifying. There’s a reason the guild’s the only structure this high up the mountain, that people only walk the sanctioned paths.”

  “Sounds like all the more reason to try it,” I said. “I’m dead in a couple of weeks if I can’t find a way to get stronger. If I’m careful, I can find a boar or something to fight. Nothing too ridiculous. It’d be a good warm-up.”

  “I don’t like it.” Amara argued. “There’s no guarantee you find something on your level to fight, or that something way nastier doesn’t find you. I doubt you know any techniques to mask your scent?”

  “I dunno, rub mud on myself?”

  *

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  She raised a judging eyebrow. “You can do that if you want. I think I’d prefer to use a deodorant.”

  “You guys have those?”

  ***

  Well, it wasn’t exactly the deodorant I was used to. Instead of a scented aerosol spray, the residents here used a mixture of sandalwood, various petals, lime, cedarwood, and spices like cinnamon and nutmeg, all tied in a pair of bags which sat fastened under the person’s clothes.

  It was the fifth day, now, and Amara had procured two of these exact bags for me.

  Reluctant or not, she’d agreed with me that something needed to give if I was going to get stronger. We spent the entirety of the fourth day trying to push me to my limit, with Amara being as harsh and as threatening as she could possibly manage, but in the end, my prediction had ended up being correct. She didn’t possess the mean streak to really hurt me.

  She’d knocked me over a couple of times, but it’d always been followed by apologies, along with her helping me back to my feet.

  That single shortcoming didn’t make her any less of a valuable ally. When I’d assured her that she didn’t need to come along with me into the forest, she insisted the only reason this was necessary was that she couldn’t bring my strength out on her own, and that if I was going, she was going too. She reminded me that we were in this together, for better or worse.

  And so we got to planning our route and destination. There were beasts of different callibres in the forests beyond the walls, we both knew as much, but being able to accurately gauge their strength was difficult for us.

  Higher tiered fighters hunted on these mountains regularly, meaning that doing so was possible. Whether or not it was within our league was another question entirely.

  Nonetheless, we had some information to work with. The most populated part of the forest outskirts was past the right wall, and that likely meant less dangerous predators. That and the fact the wind was blowing westward was a good enough reason for us to go over the right wall. Less likely to be tracked with the wind blowing towards us.

  Alongside our attempts to mask our own scents, Amara had brought a few extra pills along with her. D Grade medicines in case either of us should sustain an injury out there, and a powdered muscle stimulant in case one of us needed a burst of stamina.

  Apparently, it was potent stuff.

  She’d gone to my quarters to fetch my jian and furred overcoat. I’d been against the extra layers at first, but Amara reminded me that without the enchantments placed upon the guild’s perimeter, the mountain was extremely cold this high up. Especially at night.

  So it was, after some vague, distaste/ful comment about how I kept my living quarters, she handed me over my sword and coat.

  I got dressed and ready and we both got a move on. It was late enough that most people weren’t out, but we still kept our heads down as we descended flights upon flights of stairs, leading us from the relatively unpopulated area where we usually conducted my training out to a central courtyard on the south bank of the guild compound, flanked by an incredibly high wall.

  Guards manned these walls at all hours, but there was nothing to forbid a guild member from leaving the area at night, and we were able to pass unquestioned. Once we’d gotten clear of the compound, the moment the stone beneath our feet gave way to uneven dirt, the atmosphere shifted.

  Gone was the calm, gentle breeze and the trickle of soft, humid warmth. It’d been supplanted by strong winds and a biting chill, one that threatened to creep beneath my robes and freeze them to my skin.

  “Get moving,” Amara said, patting me on the shoulder. “You’ll freeze solid otherwise.”

  I saw the back of her pass me, her wooled overcoat way too big on her, covering her usual robes and making her harder to make out the further she walked.

  I resolved to keep up, not just to keep my blood circulating but to make sure I didn’t lose her. It was dark out here and while the stars afforded some illumination, the large, overhanging trees blocked out a large portion of natural light and blanketed the nearby copse in relative darkness.

  Still we walked, hoping to find something. Neither of us spoke much, though I suspected that even if we didn’t need to worry about making noise, we’d keep quiet to conserve energy.

  I saw birds in trees after a time. I heard the chirps of woodland animals. The buzzing of insects. All were telltale signs of life that suggested should we move further in, we might eventually find something worthy of fighting, something worth braving all of this cold for.

  Still, that result wasn’t coming quickly. We’d been wandering for about twenty minutes, though we were careful never to walk too far into the forest. We often doubled back and skirted the perimeter near the guild walls to avoid getting lost or going too deep inside. The deeper we went, the more likely we encountered something far too perilous, after all.

  I’d been content to follow that plan and stay on the outskirts, but after another fifteen minutes of searching and the two of us managing to turn up nothing but squirrels and songbirds, I was on the verge of asking if we could venture further. That said, I didn’t see how it’d do much to liven the forest up. If nothing came out on the outskirts, would it be different further in?

  Maybe it was that we’d come out here so late. What if everything was asleep right now? Or hibernating?

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe we should double back and get some rest. Come back when it’s more light.

  I’d been about to communicate my thoughts to Amara when she nudged me on the shoulder.

  She didn’t say anything. Just pointed.

  I couldn’t believe my luck.

  There, just ahead of us, was an animal out in the clearing that clearly resembled a wild, tusked boar.

  It turned to me, snarling. A blue flame burned at the end of its tusks.

  It charged at me.

  I couldn’t believe my luck.