Dear Diary,

  I know I've wound up losing consciousness quite a bit in the here and now, but sometimes I wonder exactly why I've wound up succumbing to the sweet, sweet embrace of unconsciousness some times and not others. Like, I get it, there are plenty of times when I managed to get myself mauled or maul myself so badly that it would be entirely irrational for me to expect to retain consciousness. Like dropping out of the sky from a few miles up; the fact that I've done that and am still walking around is a fuckin' miracle, but honestly, I don't remember hitting the water. Also, a short dozen of me rode my Black Dragon down from that same kinda height, and I was still upright and cranky enough to snark at my Admiral about how Black Dragon is actually a Battleship, not a sailboat with delusions of grandeur.

  Maybe it's the amount of Mana I threw around the day I Cured New Amsterdam? Because I think that's definitely one of the biggest single things I've ever Shaped. I think most of the other times I knocked myself out were times I'd thrown around way too much Mana. My Cure-a-palooza during the Plague, for instance. At the end of that I wound up down for the count for the better part of a week. Okay, I got up pretty much once a day, but sometimes 'got up' wasn't so much getting vertical as being conscious and horizontal. In fact, I think I remember one of the days I did nothing but horizontal things with Marie until I passed back out. So maybe it's Mana expenditure, but again, creating the Black Dragon ex nihilo is right up there with Curing New Amsterdam. Also, I threw around a shit ton of Mana during the Liberation of Calverton, and I didn't even pass out. I was kinda tapped by the end, but more 'hoo, boy, I need a sit down' than 'give me a flat surface and a couple of days of unconsciousness'.

  Of course, I'm really hoping it's not some kind of weird thing about Curing people, because I did that yesterday too, and that's one thing New Amsterdam, the Curing Phileo, and yesterday had in common, along with me losing consciousness at the end. The end of the event, not the end of the day. Because that's the whole reason I'm giving my own loss of consciousness all this side eye. Or, really, self-examination, because I'm really not suspicious that someone external is doing this to me, although now that I mention it I probably should make sure of that. But yesterday at the end of the Battle with the Bear I decided it was time to clock out for the day.

  Woke up in Saffron's arms as she lay with her head on Marie's lap. Hell of a pleasant set of partners to wake up to. Only things that could have made it better were Siobhan and the kids.

  "Hey, Kitten."

  "Good Evening, love."

  My thought on waking floated back to the forefront of my brain, so I asked, "Where's Siobhan?"

  She smiled down at me. "By special request of the Imperator, the Academy has loaned her to Grandmother's village for long enough to confirm the health of everyone in the village, not to mention teaching anyone capable of Shaping the Shape for Assess Health."

  I grunted out something approaching a positive response to that, then mumbled, "not much good to know they're sick if they can't Cure it."

  She shrugged. "Oddly enough, Grandmother herself knows a shape similar to Cure. Not the same, but Siobhan tells me it's more than potent enough to deal with the Plague they've just survived."

  "Gotta quarantine..."

  She chuckled, and the effects of that on her anatomy totally wiped any thoughts more complex than 'jiggle' out of my head. "Siobhan and I both thought of that, love. Thankfully, the snows have done our work for us in that; no one has left the village for over a month. The last to leave were the various groups of hunters, and since the group you met brought back plenty of meat, they had no real reason to leave. So like the very practical and sensible people they seem to be, they bunkered down, worked on a few small indoor crafts to prepare for spring, and spent most of their time socializing. Until the Plague hit, at least."

  My brain chose that moment to remind me of why I felt so shitty, in a moral sense. "Same Plague?"

  She shook her head, but didn't look entirely relieved or un-guilty. "Distantly related, but not the same. Very likely of Europan origins. By my best guess, something our women brought with them from Persia."

  "Kids?"

  She smiled down at me, brushing my hair out of my face. "All the children here are fine. If anything, they recovered faster than their parents, and are presently playing in the town center with our own little band of miscreants." She frowned for a moment. "If you're asking why our children weren't struck ill, I suspect whatever illness struck the village here was similar enough to the Plague, which all of ours survived, that if they got sick, it was mild enough that we didn't register it as anything serious."

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  I worked a stretch through me, one body part at a time. "Anything I can do to help?"

  She shrugged. "Siobhan and I have been working most of the day, as have the Cadets, although I've placed them on light duty. They weren't quite as exhausted as you seem to be, but they did fight a marvelous delaying action against that Dire Bear. Speaking of, did you say something about it being Draconic?"

  I shrugged, enjoying the feel of my skin against her squish. I realized right then that I'd been changed into The Dress. "Mom said so. I don't think she cares enough to lie."

  "Then there's probably a Dragon involved. I'll look into that."

  "But... I could..."

  "You, my love, have class to teach in the morning."

  "But..."

  "No buts. You've gone all week without sleep. Tonight, you sleep at home, tomorrow, back to train your Cadets."

  "Yes, Ma'am."

  "Good Girl."

  That kinda melted me. After drifting I remembered something. "Hey, are Rabbit and Lily okay?"

  It definitely tested my sphincter control when she said, "who?"

  Marie also looked a little perturbed, and answered, "Spirits."

  Saffron frowned a little at that, but I said, "don't worry too much. They both seem really skittish. I'm gonna stop by and talk to them on the way home. Will you be okay here?"

  She nodded. "I've told them I'll remain here until any possible negative impact of the Alliance association with the village is ameliorated. I expect to be home before you're done teaching your class tomorrow. I'll have Marie and Siobhan with me."

  I rolled to my feet, pulling both of them with me. After a long hug and sharing some nice mouth to mouth, I stepped to M-Space and walked, no Translocation, to the center of the village. A cheery fire burned there, and Rabbit sat warming her hands. Lily stood next to her, clearly ready to bolt.

  "Hey, guys," I walked to a seat near them, and kinda nodded toward it. Rabbit nodded, and I sat. "Thanks." I heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry. I put your people in danger. Twice."

  "You did." Rabbit's words weren't an accusation, just a statement. They also weren't forgiveness.

  "I've done what I can to make things right. If there's anything else I can do please, let me know."

  Lily bristled. "If you've aught else you could do, why haven't you?"

  I hung my head. "Because I'm a dumbass, and don't always realize that something needs to be done. Or that it's something I can or should do."

  "Are your people going to be staying here?" Rabbit's question could have been an accusation, but it wasn't.

  I shrugged. "Only until everything's set to rights." I let that statement stand. "Or until you want us to leave. You say the word, we'll go. I'll be going home as soon as we're done talking."

  Lily did a double take at that. "You'd leave your woman and children here with us?"

  I smiled at her. "Of course I would. You're decent people. Not the kind to take shit out on them when I'm right here, hands down, not gonna do shit if either of you have something you need to do."

  Rabbit just cocked her head, but Lily stalked over. I watched as she worked herself up. Her hand flew up, and she paused, still steeling herself before she brought the back of her hand down across my cheek. "I probably deserved that." Then she slapped me with her open palm. "I definitely deserved that." She pulled back again, and I just looked at her, capturing her gaze with my own. "Do you really think I deserve any more than that? I could show you how to throw a punch."

  She froze, then pointedly looked away from me and stalked off to stand on Rabbit's far side. Rabbit looked at me and said, "would you really?"

  "Yeah."

  "You know, I think you would."

  I sighed. "I really hope my kids are still welcome here. It does them good to socialize with folks outside the Homestead, I think."

  Rabbit might have smiled at that, I'm not sure. "So long as Grandmother welcomes them, I see no problem with that." Then she really did smile. "Even if your smallest is... intimidating."

  I smiled back. "Yeah. She is. But she's a good kid at heart. She just takes a little extra attention now and then to keep her from going off the rails. But that's true of everybody." My smile turned a little melancholy. "Even me, I guess."

  She stood and walked over to me. I braced myself, but she just held out a hand. I reached out and shook her hand, and then she was gone. Or, rather, both of them were out of sight, but I still felt them somewhere nearby. "Welp. I guess I'll be going then. Send for me if you need anything. Marie, Saffron, and Siobhan can contact me anywhere, immediately."

  With that I stepped home. Home to a solitary shower, a solitary soak, and a solitary curl up in bed. Of course, before I fell asleep my family crowded in around me. "You didn't have to come home alone, Goof."

  "Aren't you still supposed to be in the village?"

  "Siobhan finished checking everyone. We'll all go back in the morning. But for tonight we'll be here with you."

  I fell asleep surrounded by my kids and ladies. Dreamt of my ladies relaxing in my Maw like it was the Bath. Woke early, as was usual on my days teaching.

  Dunno what my Cadets saw in me today, but even Hildegarde and Citron wound up being super reserved while I ran them around the Yard for warmup, not to mention when I paired them up for partners Isometrics.

  "Okay, Cadets. Your instructor just fought a kaiju bear yesterday, so I'm a little less than fresh. That half," I waved to the western portion of the Yard. "Is basketball this morning, dancing practice this afternoon. The other half is dancing in the morning and basketball in the afternoon. I'll be working with anyone who wants or I think needs extra help." I looked them over, and they all seemed kinda eager to get playing or dancing. "Get to it."

  Weirdest thing today? Hildegarde and Citron not only choosing dancing over basketball, but choosing each other as partners.

  I mean, they still stepped all over each other with both of them tryna lead, but... baby steps.