I understand that it sounds as if I am making this up. I wish, if only, and all that jazz. The utter madness started when my study vanished and I found myself standing in front of a huge one-eyed purple dragon. I am very legally blind, but the dragon was so huge that I could even see that he had that missing eye. Let me say this again. Dragons are huge! This one was angry too. Though it may seem disconcerting to be teleported or whatever, from your modern home in Iceland to stand in front of a huge angry purple dragon, the fact that I'd been on my computer made it even more so. It's quite the mental scramble to adjust to staring at a dragon from face book scrolling. It is rather discombobulating. I only waste time explaining this, because it is probably something that you will never experience. Let's hope that you don't, because trust me, even if you like dragons, it was not cool! Why do I live in Iceland, you wonder? Because it doesn't have a lot of sun and I am a vampire as is the love of my life and my twin sister. And speaking of my sister, she was the first thing the dragon mentioned to me when he opened his mouth. His voice was loud and rumbling and a bit bombastic as one might perhaps expect. When the first word left his dragonly lips, in fact, I nearly started out of my skin. As I am extremely calm of disposition, I did not enjoy that one bit.

  "Your stupid sister tried to eat us, and we are afraid that you shall need to pay for it!"

  "Ah..." It took me a moment to attempt to process that, so... like, what was I supposed to say? Don't judge until you get teleported out of your study while scrolling face book to stand in front of a large angry one-eyed purple dragon! When I at last did process as much as one could of what he was saying, I realized one very important thing. He was insane! My sister, a vampire, formerly a human, was about five feet eight inches and willowy thin, so there was no way she could possibly eat a dragon. And the we/us seemed to indicate what? Multiple dragons? I took a deep breath, knowing that this interaction was likely to be difficult. The dragon had enough power to rip into my world and take me out of it into his world, and he was entirely crazy, so I had to tread carefully. "There must be some mistake," I said. "My sister is unable to eat anything," I explained carefully. "She is a vampire, you see, so she can only drink blood. I have never heard her mention drinking dragon's blood, not to mention she is friends with a dragon, so I don't see why she would..." My polite attempts were cut off by a roar of pure fury that had me jumping out of my skin. No, not literally, but my heart was pounding like mad, and that is not normal at all for a vampire who's heart doesn't technically have to beat at all. I was terrified, though. I'm not stupid, after all.

  "Eat, drink, it is all the same to us when a blood-sucking leach attempts it on our esteemed person!" As he thundered the words, his tail lashed angrily scattering bits of treasure in its wake. The clank and scrape of golden plates, bowls and goblets combined with the clattering scattering sound of large gems skidding over the floor of the cave in which we stood. What had my sister done to this dragon? I suddenly wanted to shake her. Not that she did things without cause, but right now I was extremely unhappy and stressed to put it lightly.

  "But you are far too big for my sister to... drink," I managed. "There must be some misunderstanding." And apparently the 'we' was all him. Crazy was as crazy does and all that.

  "We are a shape shifter," he raged as if I should know that. Did I say crazy yet? Crazy, crazy, crazy. "We were hunting in our lion form for sport as we tend to do, and she actually attempted to hunt us, the stupid leach!"

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  Well that made sense. Not the him being a lion when he was really a dragon bit, because who wouldn't want to stay a dragon if they were a dragon? No, it was the my twin sister hunting a lion bit. That made sense as she tended to hunt animals rather than people. I tried not to hunt at all, but humans were more accessible to me when it needed to be done. "She is stupid," he ranted. "And we are going to punish her, beginning with you." My stomach sank. That did not sound good. Before I could sort out what to say that may get me out of this, he continued. "She is going to believe we have killed you. This will upset her, we assume?"

  I nodded. Of course it would. He nodded back and smiled. "Good, good. What about that man who lives with you?"

  "Andre. He is my mate."

  The purple dragon smiled again and I finally noticed how huge his teeth were. I'm not slow on the uptake, I am just legally blind, remember? It is difficult to take in everything that a fully sighted person can with a sweeping glance. You likely care more about the dragon's teeth than my poor eye sight, though. Each one is about as long as my forearm and about as thick as well, tapering to a deadly sharp point. I am quite certain he could bite me in half without even trying. For the second time in my long long life, I felt that perhaps I may die. I didn't like it anymore than I had the first time many many years ago.

  "Did she hurt you," I asked carefully.

  "She disgusted us, and that is even worse," he roared, and once again I nearly started out of my skin. I wasn't jumpy by nature, but a dragon's shout combined with a dragon's size, isn't something to which one's nervous system becomes quickly accustom. Once again, I silently announced to myself that this purple monster was entirely insane.

  "You are going to make her believe that you have killed me and my mate, simply because she disgusted you," I asked slowly. He nodded..

  "Even better, I shall make her believe that she did it herself." He chuckled happily, though a dragon's chuckle is still rather loud so I nearly jumped again. I get that this makes me sound jumpy, but really I'm not. It's just an entirely different skill set to face down a raging dragon is all. Size combined with noise, combined with an immortal facing down her own suddenly refound mortality will do it to anyone. There is literally nothing like an angry insane dragon!

  "How are you going to," I began, and he cut me off by taking the slightest of steps toward me. As he did, my right arm rose of its own accord, stretching up over my head. I struggled to lower it, but I was unable to do so. By the satisfied smile on his face, I could tell that this was his power in action.

  "Like that," he rumbled quietly. His soft tones were as disconcerting as his angry roars. Yea. "She will believe that I made her do it, but that you did not know that I made her do it. She will believe that you died believing that she did it, wondering why she did that to you. It shall be the last question you ask her even!"Picture if you will, the grand heaps of distress that she will feel!" He smiled, his right and only eye dancing with glee.

  "You can make her believe that she is hearing my voice?" Or was he going to make me say things against my will? I shivered.

  "Of course we can," he answered proudly. "We are the master of illusion, after all."

  "Why do you call yourself we," I asked. Yes, in the midst of this madness, I did still need my curiosity satisfied so that I could stop focusing on that odd detail.

  "It is a royal term, and we are the last of the purple dragons," he responded haughtily. "The last adult at any rate."

  "So you are a king?"

  He roared, the question clearly annoying him. "It is time to bring your mate so that your sister's punishment may begin." I would like to say that I didn't jump at that last roar, but I did