X1.1.4 - Who Am I?

  "Only fools who want to die pass through here," said an ominous voice, startling the boy as he walked along the treacherous path.

  The traveler froze, as a humanoid figure loomed above him, sitting high upon a rock, its presence both surreal and unsettling. Hours had slipped by since Roa had found himself torn from his old life, and cast into this impossibly strange land.

  The figure was clad in a yellow suit, its skin an unnerving shade of pink, and its bare feet resting lightly on the ground. It wiggled its toes. Thick smoke billowed in front of it from a wide, bronze container filled with sweet-smelling incense, obscuring its face and body in a haze of mystery. It held out a large, ancient scale. On its left side, was a small cage that contained a hamster running tirelessly on a wheel. On its right, was an open birdcage. A yellow and brown bird took flight, singing as it fluttered away, only to explode into a burst of fireworks in the sky. The boy ducked, his eyes opened wide, reflecting the colorful explosion as they blinked.

  "The bird cannot go back inside, once it is free," the being warned, as the young man ran away in fear of the apparition.

  The dark blue sun remained in its place, stuck in the heavens without budging. Unable to gauge the passage of time, the Sunflower walked for several hours when the sky turned dark at once, as if someone had turned off the lights. The traveler's breath quickened as darkness enveloped him, and the strange noises of that place ceased.

  Complete silence. He could hear the faint ringing in his ears.

  He sat down next to a large boulder, placing his face in his palms. An overwhelming feeling of anger began to build up as he remembered Nirvana's words.

  "You've been living a lie. Your memories—they're not your own."

  Exasperated, he yelled at the top of his lungs, letting out some of the frustration. He did not care what monster might hear him.

  "Who am? Why am I here?" he asked with a resigned tone after some time.

  When he opened his eyes, he noticed a swirling galaxy lighting up the darkness above, and a sense of awe overtook him, quelling his anger.

  "You are the Universe."

  The silence was shattered by an unexpected answer. The thundering voice startled him, freezing him in place. It seemed to echo from every direction, carrying the tone of a sweet old woman, though no one was visible, no one was lurking in the darkness.

  "Hello?" he asked, afraid but curious.

  After a long pause, the voice answered again.

  "You are the Living Universe."

  He thought of a question, but couldn't come up with anything useful.

  "What does that mean?"

  Again, after another long pause, a response came.

  "You are the Universe experiencing Itself as a Human."

  Roa grew angry again, standing up, he shrieked.

  "I mean who the hell am I? My whole life is a LIE!"

  A long, agonizing pause stretched on, the silence thick and suffocating. Every second felt like an hour, and the young man’s frustration grew with each passing moment. His patience was running thin, his fingers twitching with the urge to scream again. Finally, a response came, flowing like a slow, calm and deliberate stream of words.

  "You are the Universe that has become conscious of Itself."

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  The boy sighed, his shoulders dropping as he unclenched his fists. He plopped himself back down, dropping his face back in the palms of his hands.

  "That's not what I meant…"

  "But that is what you are..." the mysterious voice answered one last time. The sky turned bright again, blinding the boy, as the very short night ended with no rhyme or reason.

  The boy's heart churned with a raging storm of emotions, as usual. The young man had always felt everything intensely, as if living had been cranked up to the absolute max. The good felt great, and the bad felt horrible. A life-long rollercoaster between heaven and hell. As a result, he felt the pain of others as if it were his own, cultivating in him an unresolved desire to make the world better, at all costs. Eralay loved that about him deeply, for it resembled the nature of her own soul, almost as clearly, as a mirror reflects an image.

  "Who—am I?" he murmured to himself, sitting there alone in silence, as the voice in the sky had long abandoned him.

  He remembered when he had asked his lover the same question, during one of the moments when his heart's rollercoaster dove down.

  "Who are you? You are my Sunflower. You are unique. You are justice, you are truth, you are courage, you are change. You are you, imperfect, stubborn and Free, just the way I like it," she answered, a warm smile on her face, trying to encourage him to feel better. He did not believe her, but he forced out a smile regardless.

  He remembered a plane flying above them, listening to its engines roar, as they sat in a park.

  Roa snapped back to the present, his gaze fixed onto the neon sky. The air suddenly shifted, violently, as though something massive had just passed overhead. A look of terror twisted his face when he noticed not an airplane, but a creature in the heavens above. It was the size of a killer whale, but it appeared far more menacing than its oceanic counterpart. Its body bristled with hundreds of teeth, an unsettling number of eyes, and countless arms and hands flailing chaotically in the air. He stood up with a jolt. It was coming straight for him.

  The monster dove and the boy scrambled for cover, breath racing in panic. His heart filled with relief when he noticed a tight crevice under a large boulder. He crawled, squeezing through the hole, like a mouse escaping a hawk, his shaking fingers scratching and grabbing the rocky ground, scraping his skin as he forced himself inside.

  The beast screeched, forcing him to cover his ears. Its long arms reached inside, as they tried to grab hold of him. Luck was on his side, however. The fissure's depth was enough to avoid being dragged out to his death. At that moment, that damp, uncomfortable hole felt like the safest place in the Universe for the boy.

  After the screaming ceased and the dust settled, Roa laid there for more than an hour, immobile. He was even afraid of breathing too loudly. When enough time had passed frozen in silence, he gathered the courage to crawl out. The creature was gone, but the encounter left him on edge.

  A few more hours must have passed when another apparition stood in his way. The boy froze, his hands trembling as he feared another dangerous encounter. Appearing before him was a man, floating vertically upside down, bound from head to toe by a long, tight bandage. The white cloth began to unravel, piling up on the ground as it revealed his face. His eyes were sown shut, and his ears were plugged by two corks, and as he parted his dry, cracked lips, ugly, stained, and misshapen teeth emerged. A foul stench reached the traveler’s nostrils, forcing him to gag and hold his breath. The disconcerting apparition then warned him.

  "It was safer in the cage, not to know, not to act, and to just—know your place, instead."

  The boy ran away as fast as he could for the encounter terrified him.

  "Now you are free, but at what cost?" the being screamed, its angry, raspy voice cutting through the air. A chill ran down the boy’s spine, as the piercing words burrowed into his deepest fears.

  His stomach sank as he felt himself fall towards the abyss. His foot slipped off the edge. His fingers grasped at the ground, his arms scratching against the rocks. His flailing hands managed to grab hold of something at the very last moment; a single, twisted root, sticking off the edge of the floating island. He shut his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. He then glanced below and saw the void. The sky turned yellow, green, then pink; swarms of beasts glided through the endless expanse of floating rocks. His stomach dropped at the sight. It just went on, forever, as far as the eyes could see. There was no end to it. He struggled to pull himself up, fighting against the shifting gravity as it began to change once more.

  When the force became unbearably strong, and his body felt like it was being dragged down by the anchor of a ship, he clung to the tree with both hands, gripping tight for what seemed like an eternity. He didn’t want to die; not like this, in this place, alone. His fingers burned, as he hoped that the little root would hold.

  Then, his body lightened once more. This was his chance. With nearly no strength left, the desperate will to survive surged within, pushing him to muster the last bit of energy needed. He pulled himself up, reaching for the trunk of the tree, collapsing onto the safe ground above with a thud. His cheek pressed against the floor, dust swirling around his face with every labored breath, he closed his eyes in exhausted relief. Once again, he evaded death's grasp. He lifted his head, his gaze landing on the olive tree. A soft chuckle escaped his lips—part disbelief, part triumph—as the respite of safety settled over him.

  "Thank you."

  The bark, dry and filled with ancient ripples, felt rough on his fingers, as he dragged his hand across it. He felt tired, both physically and emotionally. Most of all, he felt alone. He sat next to his green savior, leaning his back on it, as minutes turned into hours.

  Our protagonist's troubles are just beginning. Will he find the Exit to the next world? Or die trying??

  X1.1.5 - The Light Post