"Ah, I haven't introduced you to the table yet!" The Queen picks up her glass and taps a claw against it to get everyone's attention. The dragons at our table all look at us.
"Ashura, you've met Alcina and Jayle.” She gestures to an older dragon with dark brown fur and skin next. “This is Griffin, our former archmage and Alcina’s father. And here’s Redwood, our royal treasurer…” she rattles off a list of names, pointing to each dragon as she goes. "...Which are my court members and my relatives, respectively."
“It’s very nice to meet you all,” I say. These dragons barely look like The Queen. Their fur is gray but lacks her silver sheen. Their antlers are ordinary and earthy in color, unlike her odd cobalt horns. In addition, their skin is dark like The Queen’s, but much richer and more brown than gray. They all mumble greetings to me.
The dinner continues. I push my food around on its plate. I know I need to eat, but I can’t rid myself of the knot in my stomach.
"Ashura," The Queen asks, her voice difficult to hear over the volume of the room, "what is your family like?"
Conversation sounds exhausting right now, but I push through. "My father is a warlord. I have two brothers, both older than me."
"And your mother?"
"She died a few years ago."
The Queen gives me a solemn look. "I'm sorry." After a brief pause, she continues. "My parents aren't around anymore, either."
I can't think of anything to say.
"Um,” The Queen begins, “do you have any hobbies?"
"I like to garden." It feels like a lie, even though it’s not. But I haven’t gotten a chance to garden properly in years.
"Really? That’s a tad unexpected for the son of a warlord."
“Yeah.”
“And what did you do at your previous castle?”
“I was a scribe.” I was also in charge of translating documents from different countries. Terrin was more literarily inclined, so he usually assembled the translations in an easy-to-understand way. We were a good team. I feel a pang as I realize that I barely had a chance to say goodbye.
“That’s unique!”
By the time I realize this is a good time to bring up that I speak Draconic, the idle conversation has moved on. She asks me how old I am, if I had any pets, what’s my favorite food, more mundane stuff like that. I can’t muster more than a few words in response to any of them.
“Do you have a favorite season?”
How is this conversation still going? “Spring.”
"Oh, I love the springtime, too," she says. "It's so beautiful when the flowers first begin to bloom. I hope you can stay long enough to see it."
I barely conceal the worry on my face. She hopes I can? Does she expect I won’t last? Have I already messed up beyond repair? Am I no better than the others?
The noise dies down as guests begin filtering out of the feast hall. My plate is still half full, but it's all gone cold.
"Did you not like your food?" The Queen asks. "We can arrange something more to your tastes."
"It's fine," I say. "I'm just tired."
I can feel her eyes on me, looking me up and down. Examining me. Judging me. "If you're finished, then, why don't I walk you back to your room?"
"Okay."
We stand up and head out together, The Queen giving her council and family a brisk wave as we go.
As we walk, I distract myself by building a mental map of the castle. The halls are confusing, but I think I’m starting to see where everything connects. The castle seems more ominous now that the sun is lower. We only have glowing bulbs to light our way.
She stops in front of my door, opening it for me. I step inside, but she doesn't close it yet. "Ashura? Can I talk to you in private for a moment?"
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I glance up and down the halls, which are mostly empty. Again, the thought of being alone in my room with her sends a nervous shiver through my body. But who am I to say no? "Of course."
She closes the door. Now, her queenly facade falls away, and she looks me over with concern. For a long moment, we hold this silence, and I can't imagine what she wants to say. "Are you injured?" she finally asks.
"What?" I hesitate. "No."
"When I touched your arm earlier, I felt something odd. You see, I am no mage, but I have an affinity for mind and healing magic." She steps closer to me. "I sensed a disruption in your aura."
I shrink away, crossing my arms. "It's nothing. I just fell."
She tilts her head and steps back again. "You fell?"
"Yes."
"Well, regardless of how you were hurt, I might be able to help. Would you like me to?"
I think for a long moment. What exactly does that entail? Will she like me more if I say yes? "O-okay."
"I will need to touch your arm for a long time. Are you okay with that?"
I don't like the way that sounds. "Yes."
She nods. "Very well, let's sit down."
I walk over to one of the wide couches and take a seat. She sits next to me, a foot or so away. Even still, her presence is overwhelming. I’m not used to feeling this small next to anyone. I clench my hands to stop them from shaking.
"Can you show me which arm is hurt again?"
I hold out my left arm, the one closest to her. Then, I roll up my sleeve, hitching it at the shoulder. It reveals the ugly black and blue bruise. I don’t want to see her reaction, so I fix my eyes on her tail, which curls and uncurls on the floor in front of us.
"Okay. Hold still." She places her claw gently on my shoulder. A spike of nervousness ripples through me. After a moment, she slides it perfectly over my bruise. "This is serious," she murmurs. "It’s very deep."
I say nothing.
Then, her hand begins to glow. A shudder runs down my back, and a strange warmth spreads from her hand to my arm. I try not to think, so much so that I'm actually glad when she starts talking again.
"Ashura, there's something I have to ask you."
"Go on," I mumble, turning my head away from her. Objectively, the healing spell feels nice. It's soothing against my injury, working away at the constant pain I didn't realize I was feeling. But her claw against my bare skin makes me drip with unease. Although, if she were human, I can’t imagine I would feel any different.
"Do you want to go home?"
I look at her. Her brow is furrowed, and her eyes drill into me. It takes me too long to answer. "No."
"You don't seem happy," she continues. "I guessed you would be nervous. But as we've spent more time together, I'm just confused." Her ears lower sadly. "You do understand that if this isn't working for you, you can leave whenever you would like, right? You say the word, and I won't ask for a reason. The last thing I want is—"
"No," I cut her off. "I-I do want to be here, I really do." I have to want this. I have to be happy here, and she has to see that, too. Or, she at least has to believe my lie.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." I try to lighten the tone of my voice. "I mean, it's all short notice, and a little intense, and…" I turn my eyes to the floor, failing to find a pattern to trace amongst the carpet. "And I don't know how I feel about some things yet, but…" I want to continue with, “I really like you,” but can’t find the words in me, even though it’s not a complete lie.
She sighs, and her clawed thumb traces restlessly over my arm, back and forth. "Well, I thought if you spent more time at home to think about it, it might be good for you. You came here rather quickly once we made the announcement, after all. Faster than any other human. But it's not my place to make that choice if you don’t want to."
I take a breath, trying to keep my voice steady. "So, you're not going to send me home?"
"It’s too early to say that, Ashura. But right now, no. Not while I’m still getting to know you.”
So, I’m safe for now. My arm feels hot now beneath her touch, and her magic sparkles orange in my peripheral vision. We sit in silence for a bit longer, remnants of the conversation hanging around us. Maybe I haven’t messed up yet. Maybe I can still prove myself.
She takes her hand off my shoulder. The bruise has vanished, not a hint of its pain remaining. "What would you like to do tomorrow?" She asks unexpectedly.
Her blue eyes are fixed on me again. For once, I can meet them. "Do you have a garden?"
The Queen’s ears perk up. "We have plenty of gardens! Would you like to see one with flowers? We also have several vineyards outside the grounds and patches dragons use to grow food for their families. Oh, and by the mages’ tower, we have a greenhouse full of exotic plants, too."
My mouth twitches up into a smile. It was a risk, but she seems to like the idea. I can work with this. "If it's not too much to ask, I would love to plant something."
The Queen stands up. "Then we'll go to the north garden! There's space for new flowers there. Thank you." She bows deeply.
Why am I the one being thanked?
"I'll make arrangements right away—and we'll have breakfast first, of course. When would you like to get up? Should I send a servant or wait for you? Oh, you'll need a guide, of course. Why don't I come and get you myself?"
I shrug. "Whatever works."
She claps her claws together sweetly. "Excellent! In that case, I will see you then, Ashura." She makes her way to the door, continuing to talk as she does. "Sleep well! If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask!! Goodnight!!!"
I give her a small wave as she closes the door. Then, I rub my shoulder, the warmth from her touch and her magic lingering on my skin.
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