"Not. A. Word." Azul hissed, brushing himself off as quickly as possible the moment they were free.

  "Oh, but I have many,” she promised, fighting a small grin.

  "I—this conversation never happened,” Azul turned his back, making for the walls of the crab-kins house as quickly as his tentacles would move him.

  "Azul, you’re literally swimming away."

  “Yes. And?"

  “And you forgot the ink-cloud. I’m starting to feel left out,” she teased.

  You come back here and face your feelings, you cowardly cuttlefish! she would have yelled, but at that moment, the guards’ voices were making their rounds again, and she was loathe to have a repeat of their delay.

  “Good clam,” she said, with a little pat on its shell, before she swam after him. She could have sworn it shuddered in laughter as she left.

  The venom really is messing with my head, she thought before she caught Azul, who by some miracle had retained his grip of the stolen key. Said key clicked in the side door’s lock, just before the guards rounded the corner, and they slipped in.

  Inside, the floor was uneven, littered with mounds of gold and old harpoons, alongside a scattering of strange trinkets—bottles filled with glowing liquid, chunks of driftwood with ominous carvings, and at least three mismatched boots (none of which seemed to belong to the same person).

  The walls were lined with chitinous plates, some of them molted shells, others souvenirs from creatures unfortunate enough to cross the Crab-Kin. Knotted seaweed curtains blocked off smaller chambers, and in the center of the main room sat a great stone basin, filled with bubbling saltwater and bioluminescent jellyfish—his version of a sitting pool, though it looked more like a place where someone might drown a guest who annoyed him.

  And yet, despite its foreboding atmosphere, there was something almost… comical about the sheer absurdity of it. Like walking into the lair of a hermit crab with a god complex.

  “I can’t put my finger on it, but this place reminds me of someone…”

  “I would never decorate so gaudily, Yuu.”

  “And I would never break into someone’s home and then insult the decor,” grumbled a voice from the end of the room.

  At the other end of the sitting room, a knobbled shell shifted, and churned the sand in agitation, but nothing jumped out at them, and nothing stopped them when they approached.

  “Did that shell just talk?” asked Yuu, wide-eyed.

  Azul, massaging his temples, shook his head without deigning to look at her.

  “Mr. Kalx is a crab-kin, not a crab. It’s a self-defense mechanism. When overwhelmed, they retreat inside their shells.”

  Yuu tilted her head at the enormous shell. “Sounds like a coward’s way out.”

  “I heard that!” cried Kalx, muffled inside his shell.

  Azul sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We apologize for the intrusion, Mr. Kalx. My name is Azul Ashengrotto. Our family has admired and partnered with your services for years. We’ve come with urgent business to discuss.”

  Kalx grumbled, voice echoing inside the shell. “Can’t. Busy. Hiding from my emotions.”

  Yuu swam up to the shell, knocking on it like a door. “You do realize you’re the kingpin of a huge bounty-hunting service, right? How exactly do you run an empire from in here?”

  “…Delegation.”

  “I swear, if I had a gold coin for every emotionally repressed sea creature I’ve met…” she side-eyed Azul.

  “Do not finish that sentence,” Azul said with a glare.

  “C’mon, Mr. Kalx! Why are you hiding? Didn’t you just find true love? Isn’t that supposed to be… well, wonderful? Exciting?”

  “You wouldn’t understand!” Kalx sobbed from inside the shell. “Keelie is perfect! Too perfect! She’s refined, elegant, poised—she probably doesn’t even molt in public! And what am I? A lumbering brute with a chitin problem!”

  Yuu covered her mouth, fighting a smile. “Why on earth do you think she’s going to reject you? I saw the way she looked at you at the wedding.”

  “…I didn’t say that,” Kalx blubbered.

  Azul shifted uncomfortably, looking—well—very uncomfortable. “You didn’t have to. That much was obvious.

  “Oh, forgive me, oh great Azul Ashengrotto, for not exuding your level of charm and undeniable romantic prowess.”

  “Oh, he’s got you there.”

  “You think I have romantic prowess?”

  She blushed under his scowl, feeling caught.

  “Well, my hair IS ink-free.”

  “Marvelous,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll expect you to sing my praises about that once you’ve finished removing the mark.”

  “Let’s get back to the crab at hand. Mr. Kalx, we have a bit of a problem from the wedding, too.”

  “Quite so. We need your Shell of Truth, and will of course compensate you handsomely for it,” said Azul, once more, all business.

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  Kalx moaned from inside his shell. “What do I care about some old relic? I have bigger problems! What if she expects me to dance at the wedding? Do you know what happens when I dance? CHAOS. Someone loses a limb! Last time, a table exploded!”

  “Mm, understandable. I’m actually quite similar,” Yuu soothed, patting his shell gently, and earning herself a bewildered look from Azul.

  Kalx stopped snivelling. “You… you’re what?

  Yuu sighed. “Yeah. I am. But it’s not the worst thing in the world. You’ll have a partner with you, and you only have to dance once, right? Maybe she doesn’t like it either?”

  She nudged Azul.

  “Dancing is an acquired skill, not a character flaw. She can hardly hold it against you. Now, we really do need this relic. You see, it is of vital importance that we remove this mark.”

  Any amount of listening Kalx was willing to do immediately dissolved into more wailing.

  “SEE! SEE!? You found the same thing! You found a mate of destiny, and what are you doing? Trying to break it off as soon as possible!”

  “That’s not exactly…” Yuu tried her best to explain. “You found a mate of destiny with a mermaid, Mr. Kalx. Same world. Same city, and everything. Humans are just….different. I’m just… human. And besides, you know the Ashengrottos. Azul wants to make a big political marriage. You know. Someone who can build up a business empire. With tracking abilities, probably. Who… um…. Isn’t as young as me? We’re still in the Academy.”

  Azul coughed, and though he appeared slightly insulted, didn’t contradict her.

  “Most alliances are made down here between the ages of 17 and 24, Yuu,” he corrected quietly, instead.

  “Oh,” she said quietly, then, louder: “In that case, Mr. Crab-kin, you’re the perfect age to be doing this, too!”

  Kalx sniffled. “I’m 31. Still living under my parents’ shell, practically. They’re here almost every day….”

  “Oh…haha, in this economy? Makes sense,” Yuu soothed.

  “No, I can afford it… it’s just so lonely.”

  “If you don’t take a chance, nothing will change,” Azul said firmly, glaring at the shell.

  “Hang on. Have you spoken with Keelie since the wedding?” Yuu asked suddenly.

  “I, well, no….” Kalx mumbled miserably.

  Yuu stopped petting the shell and slammed a fist down on it several times.

  “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? You’ve just been hiding in this shell WALLOWING? Mr. Kalx, she is a WOMAN—erm—MERMAID! She’s probably out of her fins thinking that you don’t care, or that it was a one-off kiss because you haven’t let her know it was REAL. Three days is a long time to just sit around wondering. That poor girl! She’s probably half-convinced herself by now that you don’t feel the same! Or that you were USING HER. Or that… that you’re really a GHOST or something!”

  Kalx head, looking much the same as he had at the wedding, beady eyes, and catfish whiskers decorating the sides of his mouth, popped out of his shell at last.

  “But that’s.. .That’s ridiculous!” he exclaimed.

  Next to her, Azul had gone very still, his only movement the flick of an occasional tentacle to keep himself upright.

  “I’ve noticed that women are prone to the ridiculous and drastic when left alone too long, Mr. Kalx.”

  Yuu didn’t hold back when she punched his arm.

  “Or, when nothing is being done about a perceived problem, they take matters into their own hands. The last thing you want is her swimming off trying to get over you when, hey, she’s your mate of destiny! You have a real chance if you give it a shot.”

  “Does he really?” Azul mused, looking over them both, and Yuu entirely missed that he might not just be talking about the crab.

  She punched him again.

  “Yes!” she snarled. “He does. But not for much longer. It’s been three days. THREE DAYS.”

  “Who knows?” Azul sighed dramatically. “She might run off to the most dangerous sea witch in the ocean for a solution.”

  “If she thinks she needs to,” Yuu shot back.

  “I’m rubbish at dates,” Kalx said miserably, drawing their attention back to him.

  “Standard dates are lame anyway,” Yuu snapped. Azul arched a brow at her. She ignored him. “What would you want to do if she was here?” she pressed.

  “Well… I make great kelp cakes. Maybe… do some baking?”

  Yuu threw up her hands.

  “Brilliant. Do that.”

  “You… you think so?”

  “Indeed,” Azul mused, “and while you're at it, you may want to give her a reason as to why you took so long to reach out to her. Perhaps the selection of a gift?”

  “Not all affection can be bought, Azul, but I see where you’re going with it.” Yuu nodded.

  “It was technically what I meant to do with you… however, my potions failed. Spectacularly.”

  “You didn’t have to give me a brand new potion,” Yuu huffed. “I would have settled for a letter!”

  “Give her… a gift?” Kalx interjected again, before they could squabble too much.

  “And a letter,” Yuu said quickly. “As soon as possible. But nothing too expensive, or it could make her uncomfortable. Best if it’s meaningful, instead.”

  “I’ve never been good at gifts,” Karlx moaned.

  Yuu found that incredibly hard to believe, seeing as his home seemed to be strewn with knick-knacks, and actual piles of treasure.

  “How about a monogrammed bread pan?” Azul deadpanned. “You see on the surface, the gift of bread is the sharing of warmth, and the initials you place on the dish could represent either the present or the future.”

  Yuu almost laughed, but didn’t when she caught the look on Azul’s face.

  “But what if I don’t know what she wants?” Kalx moaned again.

  “Then let her decide the initials, and then serve kelp cakes on it,” Azul suggested.

  “Choice is always nice,” Yuu said, before instantly regretting her words.

  “The relic,” Azul reminded smoothly. Too smoothly. “Can we have the shell, Mr. Kalx? In exchange, we will of course provide you with a suitable bread pan from the surface by the end of the day?”

  “So soon?” Kalx asked, befuddled. “I thought I’d take a while to make sure—”

  “NO!” Azul and Yuu exclaimed at the same time, hands held up in panic.

  “It’s just so fast…” he moped.

  “This guy could give Idia a run for his money, Azul grumbled under his breath.

  Yuu elbowed him in the gills.

  “This is Atlantica, Mr. Kalx,” she said gently. “A lot can happen in three days. Reach out to her. I happen to know she…erm…enthusiastically likes you. It’ll be okay.”

  Kalx sighed, and to their surprise, produced a small, fist-sized shell from his pocket, and handed it to Azul.

  “I was hoping it would tell me about her, but it only tells you if what you actually say is the truth. Useless. I already know that.”

  “Right,” Yuu said, eyes widening. It was hardly the first day into following Madame Ashengrotto’s instructions, and they already had the relic they needed. She stared at it, wondering how it was going to help her out of this mess.

  Azul didn’t say much more, pulling her out of the house as quickly as he could, muttering things about efficiency, and not wanting anything else to happen.

  “So much trouble over one measly shell…” she wondered aloud, when, without any further ado, he’d dragged her back over the city limits.

  “Mhm. I think we’ve had enough of truth magic for one day,” he said, and crushed the thing to powder in his tentacles.