Lothar: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  Stellan: "'What does this mean?' Little Lannord gaped, his eyes wide as saucers, mouth hanging open. 'You're my... fiancée?' The poor boy looked as though he'd witnessed a specter materializing before him. 'Indeed I am, your beloved betrothed—the very one you've been pursuing through these mountains!' declared the monstrous hound as it attempted to approach. 'You lie!' the boy cried out in terror, hurling yet another branch with a primal shout. 'Ah! Please cease this cruelty!' The beast's eyes welled with tears. 'Simply because my form has grown hideous, your affection curdles into revulsion! A man's devotion is as inconstant as the shifting breeze, his vows as ephemeral as autumn foliage! Your every word and deed erodes the sacred bond between us! These branches wound my flesh, but your callous words are talons that shred my very heart!' Crystalline tears cascaded down its muzzle. 'Have you no trust remaining? Has your love withered completely? If so, I beg you—dissolve our engagement and grant me the mercy of departure!'"

  "That's one hell of a lovesick pup," Lothar remarked with genuine appreciation.

  "'Where shall you go?' Little Lannord demanded, his voice carrying through the mountain air. 'My destination concerns you no longer!' replied the beast, tears glistening as it turned away. 'You have forsaken our mutual trust and abandoned your love for me. Even if you knew my path, what purpose would such knowledge serve? I turn from you now, facing toward uncertain horizons. Who can divine what waits beyond fate's mysterious corners? When I round this bend, what destiny awaits? Should it be a precipice, I shall plummet into the unfathomable abyss, surrendering to Oris's eternal embrace. Should it be a celestial stairway, I shall ascend through tempests and cloudbanks to paradise. What choice shall you make?' the creature asked, its voice softening. 'Will you follow me into the depths, or ascend to hallowed realms?'"

  Lothar swallowed audibly, entranced.

  "'Oh! My thoughts are in such disarray!' Little Lannord wailed, clutching his head in anguish. 'I yearn to follow you, yet I hesitate so. What course should I take?' The beast continued with measured gravity: 'Poor wayward lamb! If trust for me dwells within you, release the branch from your right hand. If love for me resides in your heart, unclench your left hand as well, allowing these deadened twigs to fall away. Only then may you gather up the treasures of love and trust!'"

  "'I trust you, my betrothed!' Little Lannord's own eyes brimmed with heartfelt tears. 'I love you, my divine goddess! I would pursue you to the very edges of creation!' The boy raised his arms skyward in jubilant proclamation. And thus, in perfect contentment and joy, they embraced one another."

  Lothar dabbed discreetly at the corner of his eye. "What a profoundly moving tale. But... how precisely does this relate to Lannord dreaming he's transformed into a dog?"

  Stellan brushed nonexistent dust from his doublet. "That brings us to the story's pivotal revelation. Following their... embrace, Little Lannord declared, 'Your trial of me is complete. Now, my beloved, I implore you—return to your true form!' But the fearsome hound's expression grew troubled. 'In truth... this is my genuine form.'"

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Lothar's eyes glazed over.

  "The beast attempted explanation. 'You see—' Little Lannord interrupted hastily, 'I understand completely. You were born a ravishing maiden of incomparable beauty. One fateful day, while gathering lilies of the valley upon this mountain, you encountered a malevolent mountain witch. Consumed by jealousy of your exquisite features, she placed a terrible curse upon you, declaring: "One day you shall return to this mountain to reunite with your beloved. But from that moment forth, you shall be transformed into a hideous beast—a reviled Chihuahua." That's the tale you meant to tell, isn't it? Fear not, I accept this truth.' The boy spoke with profound emotion. 'Well... not precisely so.'"

  "Lannord: The boy's jaw fell slack with astonishment. The beast continued its narrative: 'In actuality, I entered this world as an unsightly, ferocious Chihuahua. My parents and I dwelled among nobility as their pets. My progenitors found contentment in such an existence, but I yearned for more. I coveted the role of caretaker, ruler, master. So I beseeched the divine, saying, "Elevate me to a higher, more powerful form of being!" The deity contemplated my request momentarily before responding, "If such is your desire, humanity represents your optimal choice."'"

  "That's one way to put it," the Shadowgreen Knight nodded.

  "'Why not elevate me to elfkind? Or perhaps dwarven status?' I inquired. 'The answer is elementary,' the god replied, extending three fingers. 'Elves refrain from indiscriminate slaughter, yet humans indulge freely. Elves abstain from oppressing their fellow beings, while humans excel at such pursuits. As for dwarves—well, at minimum they possess sufficient honor never to withhold rightfully earned wages, yet humans consider such practices commonplace. Know this, young one,' the deity continued, resting a divine hand upon my sturdy shoulder, 'no creature surpasses humanity in nobility and splendor. Their very existence epitomizes perfection. To bear human identity is to wield the very symbol of omnipotence. Humans nurture all beings, govern all realms, and exercise dominion over all creation. Even I, alongside every living entity, exist beneath humanity's magnanimous benediction.'"

  "'Then transform me into a human!' I exclaimed with unbridled enthusiasm. 'Patience, patience, my child,' cautioned the deity with solemn earnestness. 'You must comprehend that despite any transformation, your essence remains eternally that of a Chihuahua. This constitutes an immutable cosmic principle. From the moment a soul infuses a physical vessel, its fundamental nature becomes irrevocably established. Cats emerge as cats, dogs as dogs, and humans as humans. Well... presently unalterable, at least. Who can prophesy what innovations humanity might devise in future epochs? Therefore, even my considerable powers permit only a temporary human transformation. Do you consent to these terms?'"

  "'I nodded with unbridled eagerness. "Must I sacrifice something in exchange?" I ventured. "Love, kindness, sincerity," enumerated the deity without hesitation. "Surrender these qualities unto me—humans find scant application for such attributes." With that, I immediately relinquished love, kindness, and sincerity from my being. In that transformative instant, I attained human form.'"

  Lothar blinked repeatedly, utterly captivated by the unfolding tale.

  "'Yet the anticipated jubilation eluded me entirely. "I sense an absence within—as though some vital component of my being has vanished," I confessed to the deity. "Such disorientation is merely transitory, a natural consequence of your newfound humanity," the god assured me with a knowing smile. "Within human society, adaptation occurs rapidly. All humans navigate similar adjustments. Now I must depart, child, lest they accuse me of neglecting their countless supplications. Such demanding work." As the deity ascended the celestial staircase, I called out desperately, "Wait! When shall I revert to my Chihuahuan form?" Without turning back, the deity offered one final enigmatic pronouncement: "When you recover that which you have surrendered, that moment shall come."'"