Coco and ice cream—was there any better combination?

  At this exact moment, Megamind determined the answer to be 'no.'

  Still in his sweaty costume, he was curled up on the sofa. The television was on, and he watched it with a feeling of detachment.

  "In what is appearing to be a territorial dispute," the anchorwoman explained. She was seated behind one of those big news desks, holding a stack of papers in front of her. "Channel 7 is reporting that multiple hostages from the infamous villain Bakuda were recovered tonight. Steve, I'm told you spoke to a PRT official."

  The scene shifted to a weathered-looking man holding a microphone. He was standing in front of the theater's facade, and behind him was a bustle of activity. Yellow tape cordoned off the entire area, and armored trucks along with the complement of troopers busied themselves on the site.

  His Brain Bots and Spider Mites should have stripped everything of value. It was what their programming dictated, yet as the disobedient bot on his lap showed, they could be defective. Youngest was heavy. His initial attempt to push her off had failed, and he didn't have the energy to try again.

  "That's right, Jessica," the man confirmed, holding a finger to his earpiece. "We're still pending an official statement, but we can confirm that multiple hostages have been recovered, including the mayor and his immediate family. They're currently being shuttled to Brockton Memorial Hospital. The official I spoke to expressed his surprise at the amount, as it appears several of the apparent gang members were press-ganged by Bakuda."

  The screen split, showing the woman and her co-anchor on one side and the reporter on the other.

  "We've heard that one before," the co-anchor said in a professional tone that only managed to come off a slight bit condescending. "Haven't we, Jess?"

  The woman made to respond when she was interrupted by the reporter, who wore a grim expression.

  "We have. However, these victims in particular are being held on-site and are awaiting PRT bomb squad clearance due to—"

  He too was interrupted, and the only picture was now of the studio. Both anchors frowned before schooling their features.

  "The team at Channel 7 would like to express our deepest apologies over my last statement," the man delivered smoothly. "Additional details have come to light that support the alleged press-ganging of local citizens. These have been determined to be too graphic for the air but will be available for discussion on our website below."

  That would be a link that would remain unclicked on his end. He'd seen enough, and there was no reason to revisit it.

  "What more can you tell us, Seve? Has the villain Bakuda been apprehended?"

  She better have been. The only way to have made it easier for them would have been to gift-wrap the bomber. Megamind briefly wondered what they would make of the cake he'd left behind. Part of him wanted to take it with him, but it had been made specifically for that occasion, and he'd prefer to be rid of the reminder.

  "Yes. She is also being held until Armsmaster clears her as safe to transport. As for who defeated her, it appears it was the villain Megamind."

  His ears perked up, and he forced himself to sit a little straighter. Youngest shifted in his lap, and he saw the flickering red optical lens. Technically, the Brain Bots could make such a repair themselves. He found himself deciding to do this one himself.

  "And I hear we have our resident cape expert on the line," Jessica said. "Grant, care to fill our less cape-savvy viewers in on who Megamind is?"

  There was another line added to the audio, made evident by the background static of the poor-quality microphone. There was the sound of pages being ruffled and a tired voice spoke up.

  "Megamind is a local Case-53 that showed up on the scene two months ago in February. His two highest-profile crimes were the attempted robbery of Brockton Bay Bank and the successful prison break of the supervillain Canary. He's considered…" He paused, and there was more page flipping. "It's better if I read directly from what my source stated. The current operating procedure for encountering the villain Megamind is to engage in extended dialogue. The subject appears to have an inflated sense of ego and is susceptible to monologuing. These moments can be used to distract the villain while more resources surround him for capture. The report itself was titled The Captain Hook Strategem."

  There was another beat of silence. Unlike the previous one, this one had an air of confusion.

  "Captain Hook?" Jason questioned with a raised brow. "Like from Peter Pan?"

  Grant cleared his throat and began speaking again.

  "That's what was provided to me. I can't say if it was added after the fact or not. However, additional notes dictate that while the villain is not to be underestimated, they are, well, clumsy."

  Megamind shut off the television. Indignation burned within him, giving him newfound life.

  Him? Clumsy???

  Youngest hissed and sprang up on damaged appendages. The bot fell off the couch and hobbled toward the computer terminal. His gut told him to stay out of it.

  "Wow," Minion observed from behind him. "They really got you to a T, sir."

  In an act that proved the opposite of their wild claims, he reached for the hot fudge syrup he'd tucked into the cushions and tossed it, hitting Minion's container dead on. It bounced off his frame, and he gained some enjoyment watching Minion attempt to catch it only to knock it upwards once more.

  There. That should show him.

  "Sprinkles, please," the brown-haired girl next to him requested.

  He grabbed the shaker from the coffee table and passed it over. A few seconds later, he did a double-take.

  "Minion, who is this child?"

  Minion held up a finger and opened his mouth, yet another voice beat him in responding.

  "Are you f—ffff serious?" A rude child's high-pitched voice berated him. It came from a distance and was slightly muffled. "She's been here the whole time!"

  Megamind looked at the young girl sitting next to him. She was pale and looked to be in her early teens. For some reason, her face was familiar.

  "Oh," he said simply, looking at the red-robed child facing the corner. "I assumed she was you without the costume."

  To be honest, he hadn't given her much thought. There were far more important things on his mind.

  "I'm leaving this stupid corner then," she said, disappearing into the kitchen. A series of clangs and muttering followed. She returned with a bowl of multicolored ice cream in her hands. She plopped herself on a free seat and took a spoonful. "Damn, good call on the birthday cake flavor, D."

  It was addressed to the other girl, who failed to respond, remaining stoic as she mechanically fed herself.

  "Minion, where is Canary? And did she start a daycare when we weren't looking?"

  A villain running a daycare was beyond the pale. He'd need to correct that ASAP. Whoever this child was, they were being returned to their parents without a lollipop.

  "Call me a kid again and watch what happens," Rune threatened, jabbing her spoon toward him. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood."

  Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

  What was it with children in this city not believing they were children?

  As the adult in the situation, Megamind took the mature route.

  "Out of curiosity, when you go to, say, an amusement park, are you charged the full fare or, perhaps, a discounted rate? Similarly, do waiters bring you a special menu when you go to restaurants?"

  Rune didn't react immediately, taking a moment to understand the meaning of his words. Once the light bulb above her head went off, she visibly bristled, and he could feel the glare behind her mask.

  A door was slammed, and footsteps heralded the arrival of another party. Canary paused at the outskirts of their little gathering, and she held her phone up, checking the time.

  "That's not fifteen minutes," she said, giving Rune a pointed look. "And I didn't we agree to stop at three bowls of ice cream?"

  The child's ire was redirected, and she grabbed a large spoonful, maintaining eye contact with Canary as she ate it.

  "When you get sick, don't say I didn't warn you," Canary said, coming closer and collapsing on one of the cushions. She blinked and seemed to finally realize he was looking at her. "Oh, you're responsive now."

  That was uncalled for. Sure, he had been in a bit of a daze, but he was perfectly aware of his surroundings. He kept silent, just in case anyone tried to prove otherwise.

  "The boss was wondering who this is," Minion gestured to the mystery girl. "We weren't expecting any guests."

  Canary nodded at that, leaning back in her seat.

  "This is Dinah Alcott. She'll be staying with us for a bit. Don't try to ask her any questions."

  There were many things wrong with that statement, and he had to choose what to pick out first.

  "Great!" Minion beat him to the reply. "I'll go ahead and get another mattress."

  Megamind snapped his fingers urgently, halting Minion, who was already halfway out of the room.

  "Alcott, as in the mayor's niece Alcott?" It was a rhetorical question. He'd studied their entire family tree in preparation for confronting Bakuda. "Shouldn't she be in protective custody?"

  Why was she on his couch eating his ice cream?

  "I still can't believe you didn't notice her. Some genius you are," Rune said, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "D here slipped her detail." A wry smile formed on the telekinetic's face. "Can you imagine the riot act those losers are going to get? They'll probably lose their jobs."

  Escaping protective custody wasn't as impressive as escaping actual custody, but it still earned her points in his book. Sadly, she still fell far short of the necessary amount of points needed for room and board.

  "You're in luck, little girl," Megamind addressed the mute. "I happened to run into your uncle. He's fine now, and Bakuda is arrested." He paused, searching for the right words. "Go, shoo, scram."

  Yes, that sounded about right. The girl looked at him oddly, and Rune piped up again.

  "She can't hear you. Canary gave her some of your special earplugs or whatever."

  He looked at the older girl, and she pointed at her ear, miming an action to Dinah, who nodded and brushed her hair back. She was moving to remove the earplugs when Canary stopped her with a raised palm.

  "Dinah is…" she trailed off, stealing a glance at Rune, who scoffed.

  "Chill. I'm not an idiot. It's super obvious what happened, but I follow the rules. You won't hear a peep from me."

  Canary didn't look comfortable with that, but she relented with a sigh.

  "Dinah is a cape. I'm not sure how her powers work exactly, but she had a really bad headache when she came in and begged us not to ask her questions. I think they hurt her somehow. We had a few mistakes, so I borrowed your earplugs. I figured you could do your tinker thing and make it so that they automatically filter out questions in the future?"

  Headaches? His research into parahumans told him that the phenomenon was associated with thinkers, like that Tattletale girl.

  "And why is she here?"

  She was the relative of a political figure. By all metrics, she should have been inducted into the Wards and begun a career in heroics. Instead, she was in the damp, yet cozy, lair of a supervillain.

  "Because 'they' are after her." Rune made air quotes, using both hands while her bowl and spoon levitated in place. "Not that she's shared who they are."

  Rune angrily ate another spoonful of ice cream, displeased at being left in the dark.

  "She told me a little more," Canary said, eyeing Rune again before putting her attention back on Megamind. "And that the heroes aren't safe."

  He couldn't exactly fault her logic on that. The will was there, for some, but their capabilities were lacking. Today had once again highlighted that.

  "Told her she's better with us," Rune added, waving her spoon around. "You know, her people. But D is a stubborn b—person."

  Megamind knew what she meant by that now, and while it still didn't quite make sense to him, he knew he didn't like it. Canary didn't either, if her frown was any indication.

  "That doesn't answer the question of why she's here," he enunciated slowly, not wanting to be misunderstood. "She realizes you're a villain, right? I know your reputation for taking people in is growing, but there's an age limit for minions. Tell her, Minion."

  Minion's face twisted, putting on his thinking look.

  "Actualllyyyy," he said, while placing his hands on his hips. His foot tapped as he continued. "I was less than a month old when I was paired with you, so I don't think there is?"

  Megamind reviewed his earliest memories, finding nothing that could refute Minion's claim.

  "She's not here for me," Canary interjected, throwing him into further confusion. "She'll stay with me for convenience's sake, but Dinah specially wanted your help."

  Megamind's brain stuttered, and he mentally rewound her words, playing them back. They didn't make any sense the second time around either.

  "Minion, see about getting a sign made." He spread his hands wide. "I want it in big letters, Megamind, supervillain, does not help people."

  He needed to make sure it was abundantly clear, because clearly there had been a mistake along the way.

  "Will do, sir!" Minion enthusiastically replied. Unfortunately, he wasn't done. "But what about all those—"

  Megamind reached up, pinching two fingers and swiping them across Minion's bowl. His dutiful minion zipped up as requested.

  "Is it that bad a thing?" Canary asked in almost a whisper.

  He made a perfectly appropriate noise of aggravation, rolling his eyes.

  "That's the problem. It's not a bad thing. And a bad thing is my thing. Erm, our thing."

  Evil was in his DNA. He'd been hard-wired with it since birth. Even if he wanted to, which he didn't, there was no way for him to be good. Just as a robot could not defy…

  Megamind glanced at the bot sitting at his terminal. Youngest was aggressively clicking on the mechanical keyboard, engrossed in the activity.

  Could he… Megamind slapped his cheeks, shaking his head of those thoughts. That was preposterous.

  "A day or two wouldn't hurt," Minion brokered. "Just until we have a grasp of her situation. Right, sir?"

  "Fine," Megamind agreed quickly. "But only because you pestered me about it."

  Canary released a breath, sending a grateful look at Minion, who smiled in return.

  "Almost forgot," she said, turning to Rune. "I got off the phone with your guardians, or whoever's number that was. They said to just leave you wherever and you'll find your own way back."

  Rune took the news easily, expecting the answer.

  "No duh," she ate another scoop and swallowed before continuing with pride. "They know I don't need any coddling."

  The sound of a can being shaken alerted him, and Megamind glanced at Minion, who was preparing a canister of amnesia spray.

  "I'm finishing my ice cream."

  "Let's not be too hasty here."

  Their voices overlapped, and Megamind and Rune shared an awkward look. Their target, Minion, looked on with confusion.

  "Sir?"

  And now all eyes were on him.

  Why had he spoken up? Of course, he knew the answer. After learning about what the Empire 88 truly was, could he in good conscience send Rune back there?

  Hold the work-in-progress interdimensional transceiver.

  Conscious? Since when did he have one of those?

  He was saved by his protégé.

  "You still have those numbers I gave you, right?" Rune stared at her a moment before answering with a reluctant nod. "And the list of books?"

  Rune retrieved a crumpled piece of paper from her robe, waving it around carelessly.

  "I got it right here," she replied. Her spoon moved on its own, scooping up another glob of ice cream with more force than needed. "Not that I need any of that stuff."

  Canary's face was smooth, exuding a calm aura.

  "We agreed. I'll read what you recommend if you read what I did."

  Megamind watched the interaction with trepidation. More had passed between them than he had been aware of.

  "Yeah," Rune retorted in a sharp tone. "And what are you going to do if I don't?"

  The challenge didn't ruffle her feathers, eliciting a raised brow and nothing more.

  "Respect is a two-way street. You need to give it to get it. I'll respect you enough to hold my end; will you do the same?"

  There was a lull as Rune withstood Canary's hard stare.

  "I guess," she murmured. "Bu—"

  Her sentence was cut off as her face slapped into the bowl.

  "Ah," Minion said apologetically, his hand still extended. "Sorry, I thought she was done."

  His minion lifted the girl's head back, and the remains of ice cream dribbled down her unresponsive form.

  Megamind put her out of his mind for the moment, focusing on Canary. Her lips were pulled to the side, displaying slight exasperation.

  "You handled that well," he admitted, finding it hard to reconcile her with the frazzled girl covered in containment foam. "When did you learn how to do that?"

  She hadn't used her power but was in charge of the conversation from the outset. It wasn't like what he taught her either; it was almost gentle in a way.

  "Hmm? Oh, yeah. She's the youngest I've dealt with, but I've gotten a lot of practice in the past few weeks. It's never easy, but at least I don't put my foot in my mouth so often anymore."

  Canary was growing. Not in the direction he wanted, but growing all the same. It somehow made him nervous, fearful even. Yet, there was some pride in there as well. Combating these emotions was difficult, and he felt more lost than ever. He was past the idea of running away to Metrocity, but he longed for the simplicity of it.

  "Something on your mind?" Minion prodded, seeing his troubled expression.

  Megamind hesitated, not wanting to reveal weakness in front of Canary. Something inside him pushed him to take a risk.

  "It's nothing, Minion," he said, downplaying his concerns. "I was just thinking what it would be like if Metro Man were here."

  The ABB, Empire, and whoever threatened Dinah would be non-factors. He could rob banks and kidnap politicians in peace.

  "That's a scary thought," Minion replied, glancing around the room. Megamind surmised he was remembering all the times Metro Man burst into the lair. "Good thing there's only one of him."

  It was true. Metro Man was one of a kind, and it wasn't like he could just…

  Wait.

  Couldn't he