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140. Ageless

  I slept more than half the day while Nash led the others in making war plans for our battle and woke up so stiff and heavy. Nash returned to me from the tower once he received word that I came to again and entered the room carrying our son.

  The deep joy of seeing Finn cut through sorrow and fear thicker than stone to loosen my chest and draw a smile upon my lips. I lifted my good arm for him, barely keeping myself lying on the bed. "Finn."

  Nash carefully placed the baby against me and sat down beside us on the bed. Tiny, soft fingers brushed my cheeks. The little coo and the great, toothless smile ripped me from a world where my kingdom broke overnight and narrowed everything down to this one life. Nash brushed tears from my cheeks that I didn't realize I shed.

  "I missed you." It hurt to not be able to lift my other arm over to him and run my finger along his plush cheek. I breathed him in and remembered the first time I ever held him. "I'm so sorry, Finn. I thought we'd have more time before we lived through something like this."

  Nash placed his hand against the baby's back, his palm taking up so much of Finn's body. "We never know when war will come."

  "I wanted peace for him. I waited for peace."

  "Me too."

  "Where's Elsie?"

  "Sleeping. She stayed up late sitting by you. I made her go to bed."

  Darkness coated the window. "She must be terrified."

  "She only wants to know you'll be okay."

  I kissed the top of Finn's head. "I still need to go, Nash. This is important."

  "I didn't tell you not to."

  Already, sleep pulled at me again, but I resisted. "Are you mad at me?"

  He eased down alongside Finn and me and nestled his face against mine. That one simple gesture melted away all the hurt inside me for this one moment.

  "No." His fingers ran down my arm. "I was never mad at you. I just didn't want you to do it, and I couldn't stop you."

  "If you tried, you might be able to."

  "I know not to try."

  Here I was again, trying to balance my family and my people, never able to fully reconcile the two halves of my life. At least now an entire kingdom fought with me. "We can do this."

  "Yes, we can. Quiet now. We'll go to war in a few hours. Lie with us and rest."

  I needed to stay like this longer than a few hours and shut out everything else to recover here with my family. Some sacrifices needed to be made though.

  My mind wandered to the glimpses I'd caught of blood streaking our streets and battle raging in the heart of my village when I believed it would never happen again. In the past, those images would have consumed me, and I wouldn't have rested for a moment. Today, I put them away for a short time to rest before I entered war.

  Holding Finn with Nash close to me, I slept again until Piercey's voice drew me back to consciousness.

  "Max," my friend said gently.

  "Piercey…"

  Emptiness filled me. Finn no longer slept against me. I searched the room for my baby, only to see Nash, Leif, and Wren standing at the door with their weapons drawn.

  "What's wrong?" I groaned and started to reach my hand for the pain, except it ran through too many places in my body to touch.

  "There's a girl here." Piercey looked over his shoulder at Nash and then back to me. "She wants to see you. She says she can help."

  "It's her, Max," Nash said. "The girl we've been looking for. The one who arrived after we killed Lote and ran away before the stranger killed his warriors with the flick of his fingers."

  "The cult…" Fear crept into my heart. "We never picked up a single trail since. Where is she?"

  "Gael and his warriors are holding her," Piercey said. "We don't know where she came from or how she got here. She arrived at the gates claiming to know how to help heal you. They called me and I recognized her."

  "This is twice she found us during a crisis," Nash said. "Twice she's possessed special knowledge."

  "Eight years ago, she looked like hardly more than a child and claimed she wanted to help us. So why is she still with them?" Piercey shook his head. "We cannot trust her."

  "I still want to see her." I eased my hand over the wound in my side and winced. "Help me sit, please."

  Nash came to me while he and Piercey helped me to rise up to sit against the backrest. Leif and Wren left to escort our visitor to me.

  "You okay?" Nash asked.

  I held my side and nodded. "Fine. Just bewildered."

  I didn't know what to expect. Not only did this girl know about my injuries and know where to find me, but she made it halfway around the world, unless she lived here now. Which seemed incredibly odd.

  The door opened and Gael led entered, followed by a small form shrouded by a hooded cloak, with Wren and Leif following behind.

  Nash remained beside me, his weapons already prepared. "Cloak off."

  The woman looked up at me as she drew her hood down. "It's good to see you again." Her voice sounded so young still. How old was she when I first met her? "They already checked me for weapons."

  When Nash continued to wait silently, she swallowed loud enough to hear and drew the cloak overhead. A long yellow dress fell to her feet. She wore her dark blond hair short with the fine wisps barely touching her ears. A tattoo of a crown of violet and pink flowers wrapped around the edge of her hairline. If not for meeting her eight years ago, I might have assumed she was only a teenager, but she must have been older than that, because she looked the same now as she did then.

  "Thank you for seeing me, Eclipse," she said. "I'm so sorry to learn about your injuries."

  "I don't want to play pretend." I steeled myself against the pain as I breathed in deeply to talk. "Tell me who you are and don't act like some scared kid again."

  "It was never an act."

  I narrowed my eyes.

  She shifted and wrapped her arms around herself. "My name is Cleo, and I was born into our holy order. I'm bound to my elders and to my leader." Her arms lifted so her sleeves fell enough to reveal more flowers twisting around her wrists. "I fear for my soul in the next life just by being here."

  "Then why are you here?" I offered no hint of compassion or concern for this girl–this woman, likely–who looked far too innocent for someone who managed to approach me in another kingdom.

  "I didn't know they wanted to kill you. They planned to take your power, or at least, that's what they always said. If I'd known, I could have warned you."

  "So, you were content to watch them steal my power and my kingdom, but not kill me?"

  "Content is not the word I'd choose, Prophet. You know what it is to be bound."

  Nash looked at me over his shoulder before speaking to Cleo. "I'm skeptical that your so-called leaders don't know you're here."

  "I'm supposed to spy and report back, not make contact. Normally, I wouldn't be here alone, but I'm sure it's no surprise to you that we're all very busy."

  "They must trust you to send you alone," Nash said.

  "They trust the fear they put in me. Maybe they know I'll offer help. I don't think they care, because they do want your power."

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  I thought back to the arrows and shook my head. "They weren't trying to kill me, were they? The warriors were meant to capture me, but it scared them when I retained some of my power at first. In their fear, they attacked too viciously."

  "Maybe. You nearly didn't survive. If they did intend to only capture you, this might be considered a catastrophic failure considering you went free and you're terribly wounded." She gestured to Gael, and I noticed he held a container of what looked like broth. "Here. Give this to Eclipse. This will help you heal faster. I infused it with herbs that will clear the poison from your system more quickly."

  "We're not giving this to her," Gael said.

  "Let Piercey study it," Cleo said. "I've written down what I did as well. He can recreate it."

  "How do we know it won't actually make her worse?" Piercey took the medicine and lifted it into the light. "If you want to help, tell us everything you know about the weapons and how they can counteract power in the way they do."

  "We learned how to neutralize power and to forge poisoned weapons that spread through your system, negating your power for as long as it’s in you. That's why it's important to flush it out, or you may be like this for weeks, especially in your weakened state."

  "Weeks?" At least it wasn't permanent, if I could even believe Cleo about that. But weeks? I needed to fight as soon as possible.

  "This can help. Study it, at least."

  "Tell us how this poison works," I said. "How is it created?"

  Cleo scratched her nails against her arms. "I can't tell you that. They may not notice your people recovering a little faster with this broth, but they won't miss that you're recreating our weapons."

  Nash swung his blade to rest inches from her face. "Choose who kills you. Your cult when if they find out or me, right now."

  "I have power too. Just because I don't look strong like you doesn't mean I'm not."

  "I already defeated you long ago," I said. "Talk, Cleo." Fear oozed from her. She didn't just look weak. She felt weak.

  "I-I can't."

  "Did the gods give it to you?" I asked.

  "No. Of course not." She shifted nervously. "We learned from that man with no name, the one who fights for the order of the gods. His powers are unique. It inspired my leaders. That's all I can say. Anymore and you'll know too much." The muscles in her jaw bunched. She met Nash's eyes. "You'll just have to kill me."

  "Wait, Nash. I want to hear more. Can you at least tell us about Theus? I know he helped you."

  Even though I didn't actually know that I hoped that she'd believe me.

  "I'm not privy to information on Theus.

  Lies. I didn't believe that for an instant even though she said it convincingly enough.

  "Your cult worked with him eight years ago. You at least know that."

  "Yes."

  "So, what else do you know?"

  "They'll kill me."

  Nash stepped closer so the tip of his sword gently dug into her chin. "I will kill you."

  "Look, they are being very secretive. The story is that we broke with Theus after seeing your power. We retreated to grow stronger. I don't believe it though. We never let go of assets."

  "Is that really all you know?" I asked.

  "Yes. That's all I know. I've told you everything I can. If you kill me, then you kill me. At least I won't be damned in the next life."

  "I will fight for you in the next life if you support us," I said.

  "You don't know what they're capable of doing. Look at this poison. How can you protect me? They never let any of their children go."

  "Is that the reason for the markings?" Piercey worked closer to her, eyeing the tattoos peeking out from her sleeves. "Your people seem to have many interesting uses for power. I sense energy emanating from those markings. What are those?"

  Her fingers circled one wrist as her nervous expression tightened. "Insurance. We're truly bound. I can never escape them."

  My mind drifted back to her insistence that she'd never escape the cult. "Cleo, I'm not sure of your intentions, but if you think you can stay loyal to them while offering crumbs to us, you're wrong. We can't trust you. There's only so much you can do for us unless you're willing to prove you want to help."

  "I can't hurt them."

  "Then you shouldn't have come here."

  "I told you that I cannot risk betraying my leaders. You sent me to the cabin, and you let me flee when I was afraid the night you killed the world shifter. They'll show no mercy."

  "I've shown mercy to you twice. You showed your face to me a third time and sealed your fate. You're not leaving here alive."

  She stepped back, trembling from head to toe. "Please, I'm sorry for not coming to you sooner. It wasn't safe. I only came this time because I worried you may die if I didn't."

  "Why do you care?"

  "I told you I like you."

  "So come to our side," Nash said. "Piercey is the most advanced healer I know. If anyone can break the bond, it's him. Let him try."

  "You don't understand." Her wide eyes even seemed to tremble. "I'm not just afraid of death or what they may do to me in this world. You've died, Eclipse. You know its pain, but you know it's swift." She pressed her fist against her stomach. "I fear what doesn't end. I fear what they will do to me in the next life."

  "The cult?" I asked breathlessly. "Or the gods?"

  "Is there a difference when one becomes the other?"

  What did she mean?

  "Cleo, please." I leaned forward and cried out from the wave of pain. "You… You need to tell us the truth."

  "I already said too much. You beat Dr. Henderson before. I don't think anyone can beat them, but you're the only one I can hope in. You can't die, Eclipse. "She bit her lip and then looked away as she ripped her sleeve up. Tears poured down her cheeks. "Don't tell them I showed you," Cleo pleaded. "This brand will follow me into the next life."

  My heart seemed to stop.

  Etched upon her arm, perfect in every terrible detail, was an image of Dr. Henderson.

  My breath escaped my lungs and refused to return. "That's…"

  "There is no defying her," Cleo said.

  "I killed her. She's not in this world anymore. The gods took everything from her."

  "This isn't Dr. Henderson." Cleo lowered her sleeve. "Not any more than you're the person whose consciousness they uploaded. She's just like us, Max. She's a seed planted in the world like the rest of us."

  They'd placed Dr. Henderson's consciousness in our world? We were all supposed to have died as babies in the natural world, not have lived full lives and essentially become gods. Did the supervisor of every world also plant their consciousness in our worlds?

  Cleo's voice turned gravelly. "She's always been here, born into our world, and she'll be in the next life. We'll never escape her."

  "The gods will never give her power in the next life again."

  "Don't be a fool." Cleo took in a struggling breath. "You've always been too trusting."

  I spoke to Nash through our neural connection. "Don't let her leave."

  He reached forward then to grab her when she fell out to her knees with an ear piercing shriek.

  "It's happening… again…" A scream tore through the air.

  Nash stared, standing over her with his hand extended.

  Her image flickered–there and not–dozens of times before my eyes before she just vanished.

  "What the hell?" Nash knelt down and touched the spot where she'd fallen.

  "I don't like this." I let my head fall back. "This isn't just war. She's involved with that security system and now Dr. Henderson is tattooed on her body. How does she even know about her and our seeds of consciousness? No one except for us should know anything about that."

  When Nash turned around, he helped me to lie down. My body seized at the sharp stabs of pain from shifting.

  "We can't trust her," Nash said. "Who knows what her motivations really are."

  "Dr. Drake would tell me if a version of Dr. Henderson was in the world." I slowly curled in on myself, struggling with my wounds. "She wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't lie to me."

  "It may not be true," Piercey said. "She knows things she shouldn't. The cult may worship Dr. Henderson, and this is some tactic of psychological warfare against you."

  "Why would they send a scared girl here?" Leif asked. "None of this feels right to me."

  "Who knows if she's really scared." Gael watched the place where she'd been standing. "We can't know anything for certain."

  "I know one thing," I said, my voice tense. "I'm confident the cult never stopped working with Theus, even when we defeated him in war. Instead, they went north and created a partnership with more powerful Prophets. All these years they worked together to conspire against our kingdom, and we missed it. Cleo said they never let assets go. That was confirmation."

  "This is why we cannot wait to kill him," Nash said.

  "What if Malach wants us to kill Theus?" Piercey asked. "What if Cleo is leading us into a trap or manipulating us to do Malach's will for him?"

  I blinked. "Why would Malach want to kill Theus when the partnership of the Flatlanders gives him an ally in Skia Hellig?"

  "I don't know," Piercey said. "It doesn't make sense."

  "I'm not sure what this girl's motives are," I said. "We can't be so afraid to take action, though. I hesitated to kill Theus because it seemed like the sound decision and look how it turned out."

  "It just worries me how easy it can be to steer our decisions." Piercey inspected the broth again. "If she is trying to help us that's one thing. If she came to drop breadcrumbs for us to follow, then where is she wanting us to go, and why? We can't allow Theus to attack us but now is a terrible time to destabilize his kingdom. Perhaps that is all part of Malach's plan, to use Theus, and then to blow up his kingdom when he knows you won't want to abandon their people."

  "No matter what Malach wants or intends, we will write our own destiny," Nash said. "Maybe he knows we'll do this and he's right that it will create problems for us, but we can face the challenge."

  "Okay." Piercey's concession shocked me. "If Theus continued to partner with the cult, then I vote in support of killing him. I'll strategize on how to address his fall. I still think we need to address the other Prophets because of the treaty."

  "I also want to know if Jakob will be on our side," Nash said. "You know a man about you duel him. I served Eskel even as I plotted to kill him. Jakob is unhappy with Theus. We need him as an ally if we can win him over."

  "How do we know if we can trust him?" I asked.

  "We give him a test." Nash leaned back against the wall. "If he helps us kill Theus, then we know his true feelings."

  "He could warn Theus," Piercey said.

  "Let him. It'll be much harder if he does, but we will still kill him. The risk is worth testing a potential ally."

  "It's very risky," I said. "Especially while I'm injured."

  "Trust me, Sharpshooter. I've fought him already. I don't think I'm wrong about him and if I am, I will deal with the consequences."

  "Okay. Before we do anything else, though, I need to know if some version of Dr. Henderson is here." I nodded at Piercey. "Take me to the white room. I need to see the gods."

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