Rock Bottom [Parody]

  {The Warning: The views expressed in this song are totally deep and dark. My mind might be warped, but it's probably better off than yours... Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs}

  Joshua saves Sonic from killing himself with the crusher.

  Sonic: What's wrong with you?! I was about to be famous again!

  Joshua: Screw You!! You think that being at rock bottom is when you've lost all your money and fame?! Screw Money!! Screw Fame!! You got dozens of games! The whole world knows your name! Plus, you got a normal Brain!! I ain't never had the chance to get all that. Never will.

  Sonic: You're right. The whole world knows I've got the worst streak of bad luck with game designers in Human existence. Big woop.

  Joshua: At least people still love you, despite your flaws.

  Sonic: Flaws. I got more flaws than people Jaws has gnawed. Why do I gotta have flaws at all?

  Joshua: At least Whitehead knew how to work with you.

  Sonic: Yeah, and where's he? Over there betrothed to Penny. Can't keep just one of these guys around... You ever been to rock bottom before?

  Joshua: I feel like it, yeah.

  Sonic: You wanna let it all out? There's a mic right there.

  Joshua: … Maybe I will.

  Joshua gets up, takes the mic, and suddenly gets stage fright, freezing in place.

  Sonic: Hey! You got this.

  Sonic takes the DJ table and starts the music.

  Joshua: Yo. This song is for all the people who think that having no money

  is when you've hit

  rock bottom.

  Sonic: I wish I was famous, but not for having sex on the internet. I need street cred, but my career's a wreck. Don't wanna flex or stress my pecs for a worthless check. Just want respect. I'll let you go next. Do your best.

  Joshua: Open a page and my mind gets erased. Making a wage, but it's filled me with rage. Go to a publisher and say, “Thanks for your time today. I'd like to be a writer.” No answer? I guess I'll write tighter. Watching younger authors find their paths nicer. Wish I had a brain that was wiser. We all hope that right job'll find us. We all hope the money won't blind us. Fact is, it's already got you mindless. Make another dollar instead of showing kindness. Keep the same old job no matter how spineless. Just wanna get my story out there and leave the cash behind us.

  This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When life makes you lose your will!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When you want something bad enough to kill!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom! When you feel you wanna die, but there ain't no reason why!

  Joshua: My room is full of nice things, but what about my dreams? Don't care about the blinging. Just want something with meaning without having to be mean in these beats. Wanna have a daughter. We could shoot the skeets. I'd be lucky to get a lovely lady to wear my ring. But, I feel discouraged, divergent, and indifferent. Just keep paying that mortgage. Stays the same rate, but feels like it takes more than it did the last pay date. And, I'm sick of working jobs that don't care how many days they take away. Sick of giving myself a deadline, then delaying until May. If we all going the same way, why's it feel like I'm living in the slow lane?

  Sonic: It's fun to be the gamer, but it sucks to be the man who has to stand in front of a guy like Stan.

  Stan: Wanna join my clan?

  Sonic: No thanks, but here's a grand. Don't spend it on a gram.

  Joshua: Rather spend my time with a family of mine in a house built for six instead of being in the mix with depressing lunatics getting highs from drugs they kicked. They walk around all stressed and smoke a pack of cigs a day. Don't see all the stacks I lay. Thought I left work? Guess that was yesterday. All they do is trite, talk, detest, and play. But, who am I? Work half my life, write off the rest anyway.

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When all you got's cheap thrill!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When your belly's filled with pills!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom! When you know you wanna die and you know the reason why!

  Joshua: That's rock bottom!

  Sonic: There's people who love me, and people who hate me.

  Joshua: (Got that right)

  Sonic: But, it's the corporates who made me this kind, respectful, and matey. I got them money, women, low review scores, and shame. But, they ain't gonna be the ones scorching in pain. Put all the blame on the “Dave the knave” stick fig I made. It's all inane. Ruining my good name. Just get one person who's sane to make just one good game.

  Joshua: So, yeah. I hit rock bottom. Of course I've got mental problems. Everybody on the block's got 'em. Maybe it's normal to block 'em. Someone says it ain't, clock 'em. Got my book out, hoping it'll rock 'em. Ain't got a single head nodding. 'Course, you don't have to like it. That's yo right.

  Sonic: Don't mean to be snide. Just want more fans like you guys.

  Joshua: Still feels queezy, being on the ride of life. But, things always get easy on the other side.

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When you turn into a shill!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom!

  Joshua: When you just ain't got the skill!

  Sonic: That's rock bottom! When you really wanna die from all the pain you hide inside!

  Joshua: That's rock bottom! Wanna write like me, but think we're not alike? Truth is, we are. Just got a bit more bite.

  Sonic voiced by Slim Shady

  Joshua voiced by Eminem

  Sonic: Feeling better?

  Joshua: Yeah.