Two, Returning What is Certain

  The carriage had not yet reached the gate of the Servant Lang's mansion, but I could already hear the sound of drums and firecrackers crackling in the distance. Flowing Vermilion helped me lift the curtain, and the red lanterns cast a dazzling glow over the entire street, as if it were all just a dream. In the distance, I saw the whole family, young and old, standing at the gate waiting for us. My eyes grew hot, and my eyelids trembled with tears that threatened to fall, but in front of others, I could only grit my teeth and hold them back.

  As I saw my carriage approaching, the servants and maids in our household came out early to welcome me with hands stretched out to support me. My father's and mother's expressions were unclear whether they were joyful or sorrowful, their faces smiling like a spring breeze, but with tears in their eyes. Just as I was about to rush into my mother's arms, everyone suddenly knelt down and respectfully shouted: "Minister Zhen Yuan Dao and his family pay respects to the young master."

  I stood there in a daze, only then remembering that I was already the emperor's chosen palace maid, waiting for the imperial decree to confirm my title and rank. In just one day, my world had undergone a heaven-reversing and earth-shaking change. My heart was filled with sorrow, and I couldn't help but shed tears as I reached out to support my parents.

  Father hastily waved his hand: "Young master, you can't. This is not in line with the rules." Huan Bi hastily handed over a silk handkerchief, I wiped away my tears and tried to keep my tone calm, saying: "Get up."

  Everyone just got up and welcomed me in like a crowd of stars surrounding the moon. Now only our family is left, having set up a home banquet. Father was about to let me take the seat of honor.

  I knelt down and said with tears: "The daughter is unfilial, can no longer serve her parents with a happy face, but still asks her parents to follow the rules so strictly, which makes me feel uneasy in my heart."

  Father and mother hurried over to support me, I knelt still and continued to say: "Please father and mother listen to daughter finish speaking. Although daughter is already a member of the royal family, filial piety cannot be abandoned. Please father and mother allow daughter to serve with etiquette before entering the palace, otherwise daughter would rather kneel forever."

  My sister was already crying tears, Father nodded and said with tears: "Good, good! I have not lived in vain to give birth to such a filial daughter." Only then did my two sisters Yu Yao and Yu Xiao help me up and sit down to eat.

  I'm feeling annoyed and disorganized, plus I've been busy all day, so I don't have much of an appetite. So I bid my parents goodnight early and went back to my room to rest.

  Hongyu and Huanbi finished tidying up the bed early. Although I was tired, I had no sleepiness at all. Just changed into my nightclothes and wanted to fall asleep randomly, Dad personally brought a bowl of ice sugar swallow's nest soup to see me.

  Father called me "Yu Juan" and his eyes were already filled with old tears. I sat beside Father, and finally buried my head in his arms and sobbed. Father said to me: "My child, Father has come so late to entrust a few words to you. Although you are only 15 years old, you have been very determined since childhood. At the age of seven, you disliked your own name 'Yu Juan' and thought that the word 'Yu' was ordinary and common among girls, so you stubbornly refused to use it. As you grew up, Father also followed your lead in everything. Now that you are going to enter the palace to serve the emperor, you can no longer follow your own temperament. You must be cautious and careful in everything, and be as steady as Mei Zhuang."

  I nodded and replied: "My daughter knows that everything will be done in a proper manner, following the rules and being mindful of propriety."

  Father sighed and said, "I didn't want you to enter the palace. But since it can't be avoided, it has to be this way. The imperial harem has always been a place of intrigue, and today at the Cloud Intention Palace's selection of consorts, the Emperor has already taken quite an interest in you. I'm afraid there will be many troubles in the future, so you must be careful and protect yourself."

  I held back tears to comfort Father: "You always said that daughters are 'female Zhuge', smarter than others, didn't you? Just rest assured, Father."

  Father's face was full of worry, and he said in a worried tone: "Who among those who want to survive in the harem is not clever? Father is worried that you are beautiful and talented, and have already caught the emperor's attention before entering the palace. You will inevitably be envied and secretly calculated by the people in the harem. If you continue to compete with your intelligence, you may harm yourself. Remember, if you don't have a sure way to gain favor, you must restrain your sharpness and hide your light. Father doesn't want you to fight for wealth and glory, but just wants his beloved daughter to live a peaceful life."

  I looked at Father's eyes solemnly, and said word by word: "The daughter does not ask to gain the emperor's favor, but only hopes to live a peaceful life in the palace, and keep the lives of the Zhennan family and herself safe."

  Father's eyes were filled with loving colors, and he said with pity: "It's a pity that you are still young, but you have to go through hardships in the harem. Father really can't bear it."

  I wiped away tears with the back of my hand and said in a low voice: "Things have come to this, my daughter has no way out. She can only move forward step by step."

  Father saw me say so, slightly relieved, and thought for a long time before tentatively asking: "The person who takes you to the palace must be both trusted and clever. Have you thought about who you want to take?"

  I understand Father's intention. "This daughter has long thought about it. With Flowing Vermilion being clever and Bright Jade being meticulous, I want to bring the two of them into the palace."

  Father slightly let out a breath of relief and said, "This is good. The two of them have been growing up with you since childhood. Accompanying you to see Father will also put my mind at ease."

  I bowed my head and said, "They will stay at home and won't be able to marry well in the future. Even if Father has a good intention, there is no good way out. If it's too obvious, Mother will become suspicious and the whole family will be uneasy." A hint of unspoken guilt and shame flashed across Father's slightly aged face. I couldn't bear it, so I spoke softly, "Following me into the palace may still mean being a slave, but in the future, if there is an opportunity, I can introduce you to a good family."

  Father sighed and said, "I know this. It's up to her fate."

  I said to Father: "Father, rest assured, I regard her as a sister and will certainly not mistreat her."

  See off dad, I "hiss" and blow out the candle, the room is pitch black.

  The next morning, Liujin and Biyan helped me get up and wash. I suddenly remembered something and was about to go out when I recalled that I was now the young master and couldn't leave the mansion at will. So I summoned the little maid Yuan'er from the room and instructed her: "You go and find out if An Lingrong, the daughter of An Biyuan, the county magistrate of Songyang County, has been selected as a candidate for this year's imperial examination, and where she lives. Don't make any noise, come back and tell me."

  She responded with a "yes" and went out. Half a day later, she came back to me: "Reporting back to the young master, Miss An has been elected and is currently staying at the Liu's Inn in Xicheng District. However, I heard that she only brought one maid with her to participate in the selection, and they are already very short of money. Yesterday, they couldn't even afford to pay the reward money, and it was the inn owner who paid for them." I furrowed my brow, this is really not like a selected young master's behavior, how can she still be staying at an inn? If the eunuchs and guide ladies who came to deliver the imperial edict two days ago see her, how will she establish herself in the palace?

  I thought for a moment and said to Yu'er: "Go invite Old Master over."

  But in the time it takes to burn an incense stick, Father arrived. Despite my strenuous attempts to stop him, he still bowed to me before sitting down at my table. After bowing, he was once again the doting father I knew, chatting and laughing with ease.

  I said to Father, "Father, I have something to discuss with you. Yesterday, I met a young woman who had helped me before. Now she has been selected as the young mistress, but her family is poor and struggling, and she is currently living in an inn, which is really too miserable. I want to invite her to come and live with us. What do you think, Father?"

  Father stroked his beard thoughtfully for a moment and said, "Since you like her, there's nothing wrong with that. I'll order your brother to bring her over."

  In the late afternoon, a small sedan chair arrived with Anling Rong and her aunt. The mother had already ordered the servants to clean up the adjacent Chunxi Xuan, prepare clothes and jewelry, and assign several maids to serve them.

  After dinner, my brother accompanied Ling Rong to my residence in Kuai Xue Pavilion with a beaming smile. As soon as Ling Rong saw me, her face was covered in tears and she was about to kneel down. I quickly got up to support her, laughing and saying: "You and I are sisters of the same status, why do you pay such great respects to me?"

  Ling Rong's thoughts were quick and agile, and she immediately said: "Please sit down, Young Master Ling Rong and Auntie." Ling Rong then sat down with her aunt, Xiao Shi.

  Ling Rong saw her brother by her side, and with great effort, she wiped away her tears and said: "Ling Rong has always been grateful to Sister Zhen for her kindness, and it's only because of her that I have a place to settle in the capital. From now on, when I enter the palace, I won't be looked down upon by others. This kindness, Ling Rong truly cannot repay." Xia Niang was also extremely grateful.

  "Earlier when I went to the inn, that boss thought Ling Rong was a rare treasure and refused to let them leave. In the end, I had to use three punches and two kicks to send him off."

  I pretended to scold him, saying: "In front of Young Master Ling's face, how can you talk about such violent things and try to intimidate people with your martial arts skills?"

  Her expression changed from tears to laughter, and she said with a half-bashful tone: "It's nothing. Thanks to Mr. Zhen for his help!"

  I smiled and said: "Still 'Young Hero'? If you scare us a little less, that's fine." Everyone couldn't help but burst out laughing together.

  As the night deepened, I escorted Rong back to her room alone. The moonlight poured down on the corridor like water. I sincerely told Rong: "Rong, living in my house is just like living in your own home, don't be restrained at all. If you lack anything, tell me, and if the maids are disobedient, also tell me, don't suffer in silence and let them bully you." Rong was moved in her heart, grasped my hand and said: "Rong is humble and doesn't know where she got the good fortune from, to be able to enter the palace at ease thanks to sister's care. Rong only has sincerity to repay, for a lifetime, I will support and accompany sister through the years in the palace."

  A warmth rose in my heart, I tightly grasped her hand and sincerely called out: "Good little sister."

  Another day passed. The eunuch from the palace came to deliver an imperial edict, and Father led Mother, me, my elder brother, and two younger sisters to the main hall to receive it. The eunuch announced: "On the 22nd of August in the 12th year of the Qianyuan reign, by order of the Emperor, the Ministry of Personnel's official, Zhen Yuandao's 15-year-old daughter, Zhen Huan, is hereby appointed as a Sixth-Rank Noble Lady, with the title 'Gu', and will enter the palace on the 15th of September. Let it be known."

  I am at a loss for words in my heart, unable to express whether it is sorrow or joy, and can only quietly accept the edict with gratitude.

  Another palace maid led in a middle-aged woman with a gentle face, who looked very elegant and had an aura of harmony around her. I knew it was my aunt, so I slightly bowed and called out: "Aunt."

  She was taken aback, seemingly not expecting me to treat her with such courtesy. She hastily knelt down and greeted me, saying: "Your humble servant Fang Ruo, paying respects to the young master." According to the rules of our dynasty, due to her special status as a teaching aunt, she did not need to kowtow or pay grand respects to the palace ladies or the young masters during the period of instructing them in etiquette. Therefore, even at their first meeting, it was only necessary for her to kneel and greet me.

  Father had already prepared the money and gifts to be sent with the proclamation to the inner court. Mother was considerate, thinking that Ling Rong was living in a humble abode and it would not be convenient for her to receive her share separately, so she gave hers to Father as well.

  Nei Jian received the gift and went to the next room to announce the imperial decree to Chun and Xuan: "On August 22nd of the 12th year of Qianyuan, the General Manager of the Imperial Household Department, by order of the Emperor, issued a proclamation: An Lingrong, the 15-year-old daughter of An Bi Hui, the county magistrate of Songyang, is hereby appointed as a seventh-rank selected servant, and will enter the palace on September 15th. Let it be known."

  Ling Rong and Xiao Yiniang were overjoyed and wept. Since I lived with Ling Rong, teaching and raising my aunt was the same as Fang Ru.

  The proclamation was finished, and then invited Auntie and Nei Jian to have tea. Prepared the best room for Auntie, treating her with good food and drink.

  The people who went to inquire about the news have also returned. Because it was just entering the palace, the ranks of the small masters who were selected were not high, all below the rank of fifth-grade concubine. Mei Zhuang was appointed as a junior fifth-grade Xiao Yi, and I entered the palace on the same day. There are fifteen small masters in this selection, divided into three batches to enter the palace. Ling Rong, Mei Zhuang and I were the last batch.

  I feel slightly comforted. Not only can we enter the palace two days later, but also the three of us are familiar with each other and can take care of each other after entering the palace, so as not to be lonely for a long time.

  I and Ling Rong went through the ceremony of capping, and then we started living in separate quarters. Although we still lived in the mansion of the Minister of Justice, our Snow Pavilion and Spring Pavilion were separated from each other, with eunuchs guarding outside and palace maids serving inside, while all idle men were forbidden to enter. Only our teacher, Auntie Gui, accompanied us to study etiquette, waiting for the day when we would enter the palace on September 15th.

  After the ceremony, I was very strict and solemn. Except for the maids who could serve me in the palace, even my father and brother had to kneel on the soft cushion outside the door and talk to me through a screen when they met me. My mother and sister could still see me once a day, but they also had to ask for my permission according to etiquette.

  Ling Rong and I were both palace maids, so we could often come and go freely and also study etiquette together.

  It seems that Ling Rong is more at ease than I am. Without a husband by her side, she doesn't have to watch as family members kneel and pay their respects to her.

  The Great Zhou Dynasty has always emphasized the distinction between monarch and subject, with the monarch as the supreme ruler. The title of "Gonggui Ren" symbolizes that I am now a member of the imperial family, although only a low-ranking palace maid about to enter the palace. My parents and siblings also have to kneel down to pay their respects to me. Every time I see my father kneeling outside the curtain, paying his respects to me, and saying with reverence: "Gonggui Ren is auspicious, wishing you good fortune and longevity." Then he speaks to me with his body bowed, which makes me unbearable to look at, and my heart feels unspeakable sadness and sorrow.

  So many times, I had to avoid seeing my father, and every day, Yu Yao and Yu Xiao would ask about my father's well-being on my behalf, constantly reminding him to take care of himself.

  I get up early every day and listen to Fang Ruo's explanation of the rules in the palace with Ling Rong. In the afternoon, I practice etiquette after taking a nap, such as standing, walking, greeting, eating, etc. Ling Rong and I are both quick learners and soon become proficient. When we have free time, we listen to Fang Ruo talk about some gossip in the palace. Fang Ruo used to serve under the Empress Dowager and is known for being humble, straightforward, and extremely attentive. Although Fang Ruo rarely mentions anything about the inner workings of the palace, as the days go by, I gradually understand the general situation through our daily interactions, even if it's just a few words here and there.

  The Emperor Xuan Ling is twenty-five years old this year. He married the current Empress Dowager's niece, Zhu Ruo Ze, twelve years ago. Although the empress is two years older than the emperor, she is elegant and refined, and people call her "a virtuous wife with a gentle disposition, beautiful and radiant in the imperial harem". She and the emperor are deeply in love, and she is also well-liked in the palace. However, five years after their marriage, the empress died in childbirth, and even the newborn prince did not survive. The emperor was heartbroken and posthumously honored her as "Pure Yuan Empress". He then chose the empress's younger sister, also the Empress Dowager's niece, Noble Consort Zhu Yi Xiu, to succeed to the position of empress. Although the current empress is not a beauty, she is kind and gentle, and the emperor treats her with respect. However, since the emperor is young, it was inevitable that he would have many favorites after losing Pure Yuan Empress. Currently, the most favored in the palace is Consort Hua Mu Yong Shi Lan of Miao Xiu Palace. It is said that she has a captivating beauty, and the emperor is deeply fond of her. No one in the palace dares to offend her, not even the empress, who must yield to her.

  It stands to reason that the Empress is the Empress Dowager's niece, and the Empress Dowager would not sit idly by for the sake of her relatives or the honor of her external family. The Empress Dowager of our dynasty was a capable woman who did not let her eyebrows be shaved off, and when the Emperor first ascended to the throne, he was still young, so she had hung up the curtain to listen to politics for three years, and with the momentum of a swift thunderbolt, she seized power from the regent king's hands, personally killing the regent king, implicating his party members, sweeping away the regent king's forces, and only then did we have today's peaceful world. However, after the regent king's party was completely eliminated, the Empress Dowager fell seriously ill, probably due to exhaustion, and thus had the intention of retiring and cultivating her old age. From then on, except for major festivals, she lived in seclusion in the Empress Dowager's palace, closing the door and not going out, devoting herself to Buddhism, no longer interfering with court and harem affairs, leaving everything to the Emperor and Empress to handle.

  In addition, the concubines in the palace are divided into eight ranks and sixteen grades. Like me, Mei Zhuang, Ling Rong, etc., we are only low-ranking concubines, not the main positions in the inner court, and can only be called "small masters". We live in the attic courtyards of the palace, without a main hall to reside in. Only from the third rank of Guifei can one be called "master" or "niang niang", have the qualifications to become the master of the inner court, reside in the main hall, and take charge of the affairs of the palace. Although there are many masters among the concubines in the harem, since the current empress was promoted from Guifei to Empress, the position of the four consorts of Zhengyi Pin has been vacant. Fang Ruo's aunt once sincerely told me in private that with my talent and appearance as a small master, I would gain the emperor's favor, take up one of the four consorts' positions, and enjoy glory and wealth soon. I just smiled slightly and changed the subject to something else.

  After the imperial decree was issued, my mother took Yu Yao to prepare personal jewelry and clothes for me to bring into the palace. It couldn't be too much, or it would seem petty, nor could it be too little, or it wouldn't hold up to scrutiny and people would look down on us. Everything had to be exquisite and generous. This fussing about was also a lot of hard work. After Ling Rong moved into our house, she was treated the same as me, so naturally we couldn't leave out preparing things for her either.

  Although I couldn't see Meizhuang, and my family members didn't get along with her either, but my feelings for Ling Rong became more and more determined. Day by day, we were inseparable, calling each other sisters, even taking turns wearing a jade hairpin.

  But I was not in a good mood. My heart was burning with anxiety, and my mouth had grown a festering sore. Ling Rong and Xiao Niang were so worried that they spent the whole night preparing a homemade remedy from our hometown to apply to me, and only then did it gradually subside.

  Note: (1) "Wen Yan has the virtue of a wife, and is beautiful in the imperial harem": This was a phrase used by people during the Western Jin dynasty to praise Emperor Wu's empress Yang Yan. Yang Yan (238-274), Empress of Emperor Wu of Jin, courtesy name Qiong Zhi, from Huayin, Hongnong. Her father Yang Wen Zong had served as an official in the Wei state. She died of illness in Luoyang in the tenth year of the Taishi era, at the age of 37, and was posthumously honored as Empress Wu Yuan.