Kite mistake

  Since having this child in my belly, the novelty and vitality of life always make me happy and amazed. On quiet days when there's nothing to do, I love to put my hand on my abdomen, gently and carefully, afraid that even the weight of my hand will press down on him. Gradually, I've developed a habit of this posture, half pampering and half protecting.

  The spring sunlight shines through the thin, gauzy window screens like a bright cloud, illuminating the room. The screens are as thin as ice and seem to have gathered countless golden lights, making the Heart Purification Hall appear especially spacious and bright. The sunlight gently falls on the desk where several newly opened pale red peony flowers are inserted in a Ru kiln vase with a beautiful shoulder, their fresh colors captivating one's heart.

  I picked up a few pastries from the table and casually picked up a book to read.

  Chun'er Ba leaned on the windowsill, looking out at the endless spring scenery. She gazed for half a day, then suddenly pouted and muttered: "All four sides are walls, there's really nothing good to look at."

  She saw me sitting there silently, and said excitedly: "Today the weather is so good, sister will accompany me to fly a kite? I kept two nice kites from sister's birthday two days ago."

  I put down the book and laughed, saying: "Your temper is always restless, never calm for a day. I heard that yesterday at your place 'catching seven' (1) you even smashed a porcelain screen awarded by the emperor."

  Chun'er stuck out her tongue, "The emperor won't blame me for this." With a playful smile, she twisted around like a sugar cane and said: "Sister should go out and take a walk to clear her mind, staying at home all the time makes people lazy. Who knows if my little nephew will be a lazy boy when he grows up?"

  I couldn't help but smile, looking out the window at the clear and bright scene, and said: "Alright, I've been cooped up for too long." The spring scenery was like a painting, and I had always wanted to take a leisurely stroll amidst it. However, my wound made me afraid of getting dust on it, and besides, the incident with Du Liangdi still left me with lingering fears. So, I called for more people to follow us, put on a veil to cover my face, and only then did we go out together.

  In the open space of Shanglin Garden, Xun'er's kite was flying extremely well, almost without the need for the young eunuchs' help. It soared to a great height, and it seemed that she had been skilled at this since childhood. On the lush green grass, all that could be heard was her clear laughter ringing out like wind chimes gently swaying in the eaves. Seeing her kite flying high, she laughed and shouted with glee, extremely pleased with herself.

  She was naturally proud and favored, as the youngest of the concubines. Xuan Ling had always been indulgent towards her, and since I was pregnant and couldn't often attend to Xuan Ling, he would often stay with her due to proximity. Recently, Xuan Ling even mentioned that when Chun'er turns sixteen, he will make her a pin.

  I looked up at the kite that had become a tiny black dot in the clear sky, and I thought of my childhood afternoons when I was practicing needlework at home, getting so bored that I almost fell asleep, my head nodding off like a rice bird. Suddenly, my brother poked his head out from the window of his room and said with a smile: "Sister, let's sneak out and fly a kite!"

  Spring breeze has blown green willows for another year. The carefree years of childhood always seem to fly by at an unbelievable speed. It seems like just a moment ago, I was flying a kite with my brother, staining my fingernails with hibiscus flowers in the courtyard, sneaking a nap under the eaves of our teacher's house, and eagerly counting the magpies on the grape trellis to watch the Cowherd and Weaving Maiden pass by on the Double Seventh Festival. These carefree years have quietly slipped away.

  Now, I am also about to become a mother. I smiled and looked at Chun'er, among the concubines in the harem, only she was so bright and cheerful, like a sunny day in spring, while I gradually became a crescent moon, even though clear and bright, it belonged to the night, and was obscure.

  I gently stroked my slightly bulging belly, which was still not very noticeable. If my child had the same lively and bright personality as Chun'er, that would be great, just don't be too naive. It's fine for an imperial princess, but if it were an imperial prince, naivety is absolutely unsuitable.

  With a faint smile, I was lost in thought when suddenly I heard Chun'er exclaim and the kite in her hand had already broken free. The kite flew far away. Chun'er was anxious and wanted to go look for it. I quickly told Xiaolizi: "Hurry up and follow your young master to help her find the kite back."

  Xiao Lizi nodded and was about to follow, but Chun'er stomped her foot and pouted, saying: "Not one of you is allowed to follow! Sisters, they'll only get in the way." Chun'er was just a child at heart, but when she got angry, it was quite formidable. So several palace servants had no choice but to stop in their tracks, watching me hesitate. I looked far away and saw that the place where the kite fell wasn't very far off, but I couldn't persuade her otherwise, so I followed her as she walked quickly, instructing a few small eunuchs to follow closely behind.

  By the pool, willows are planted all around. At this time of year, the willow branches are full of soft, yellow-green leaves, and even the air is filled with a light green mist. The slender willows hang down into the water, swaying gently in the breeze that ripples the calm surface of the lake. The willow catkins fly about like snowflakes, and a single peach blossom shines like a flame on the edge of the pool. The wind blows fallen red blossoms onto the green waves, and the shimmering water is filled with subtle fragrance. In the distance, palace maidens are rowing small boats, laughing and playing, having picked willow branches to make flower garlands that they wear on their heads. Their laughter carries far and wide. I watched for a while, feeling tired, so I sat down on a long stone under the peach tree to rest.

  The spring scenery is intoxicating, but I don't know how many shocking and moving moments are hidden within this intoxication. Suddenly, I recall the perilous situation in the imperial palace where we admired flowers together, and the hands that pushed me out from behind my back.

  After the event, I carefully investigated and secretly inquired, but surprisingly, I couldn't find any trace of that person. It's no wonder, at the time, everyone was in a state of panic, who would have noticed which pair of hands pushed me into danger from behind?

  However, I wasn't really unaware of who it was. After recalling several times later, the fragrance between her clothes was familiar to me, but she had forgotten such details. However, I endured and didn't speak out, firstly because there was no conclusive evidence, secondly, this person might be useful to me in the future.

  My gaze suddenly caught a glimpse of a cherry-red figure. Before I could speak, the servant beside me had already respectfully greeted her: "Lady Cao is well." My eyes shifted slightly, and I met that pair of deep, narrow eyes head-on.

  Cao Qinmo wore only a silver-white undergarment with intricate patterns, draped over her shoulders a semi-transparent pale cherry-red gauze, holding in her hand a moon-white handkerchief, smiling and greeting me: "Guan Gui Bin Jin An."

  I reached out and supported her with one hand: "Sister Cao, get up, no need to be so polite."

  She smiled with a gentle and elegant demeanor, her eyebrows and eyes sparkling. In fact, her appearance was only moderately good-looking, but the smile added a warm and tender touch to her face. The simple yet elegant dress she wore also made her stand out in a way that captivated people's hearts. She smiled and said, "I didn't expect to meet you here, Princess."

  I sat down with her, gesturing to others like Rong Yu to keep a distance and not listen in on our conversation. I smiled and said, "Sister, we've grown estranged, so just call me little sister instead."

  She saw me push away the crowd and sit alone with her, a smile seeming to be there but not quite: "Little sister hasn't been out much since she got pregnant, being extra careful, how come you're suddenly willing to push everyone away?"

  I slightly opened my eyes, and smiled lightly: "Sister Cao is joking, how could I not be at ease? If Sister is with me and I have any mishaps, it's naturally Sister's fault. Of course, Sister will take good care of her little sister." I smiled faintly, my gaze seemingly unintentionally sweeping over her, "Besides... there won't be anyone here to give me a push."

  Cao Jieyu was taken aback for a moment, but didn't change color at all. She smiled and said: "Sister is really good at joking, who dares to push you? I'm afraid even stretching out a finger would be too much." She exclaimed in surprise: "Could it be that sister has been pushed before?" She put her hand on her chest, pretending to be shocked, saying: "As an older sister, I didn't know. Did younger sister tell the Emperor?"

  She was so tight-lipped that for a moment I thought I had doubted the wrong person, but then I was certain again. The thing that Xuan Ling gave me, I secretly gave it to her, how dare she give it to someone else? The scent of honey is something I won't mistake.

  I won't comment on that, I'll just casually ask: "How has Princess Wenyi's health been lately?"

  She immediately became alert, like a mother bird protecting her young, and said: "Don't worry, sister Gui, Wen Yi just has a slight cough, it's nothing serious."

  I said nonchalantly, "Yes. As long as there aren't any more mistakes like the cassava flour incident, the emperor's daughter will surely be fine."

  Her expression suddenly changed, no longer calm as before, and she said sullenly: "The emperor has already dealt with Little Tang who made the mistake with the sweet potato flour, I suppose there won't be such a thing again."

  I smiled and said, "I hope so. Now that I'm about to become a mother myself, I can especially empathize with the feelings of being a mother. It wasn't easy for Sister Cao to raise the princess either, I heard that when she gave birth to the princess, it was a difficult labor, extremely dangerous."

  "As a mother, it's indeed not easy at all. Every moment and every thing has to be worried about for her sake. If she has even the slightest discomfort, I feel as if my heart is being torn apart, and I'd rather bear the suffering for her."

  I nodded, looking her straight in the eye. "Sister Cao is a very intelligent person and naturally knows how to raise the princess. There's no need for you to say more about this. I just want to remind my sister of one thing: it's good to have someone's protection, but you also need to consider what kind of person they are. Otherwise, you might end up suffering harm and having no way to explain it."

  She was taken aback, her face somewhat displeased, and said: "Sister is foolish, Guifei's words I don't understand at all."

  I used my handkerchief to wipe off the fallen flowers on me, and slowly smiled: "Sister doesn't understand, so little sister understands even less. But little sister does understand one thing, that when Queen Huai searched for the hidden pavilion in vain, it was because someone had pushed her into the water, although not to help me, I still appreciate her kindness." Seeing her face change color, I smiled more easily: "Little sister also understands another thing, being a traitor will only lead to a bad ending, while abandoning darkness and turning to light is the best way to protect oneself and others - of course, sister naturally knows that a good bird chooses a tree to perch on."

  Her expression changed several times, finally as usual, "whether it is bright or dark is still an unknown number." She was silent for a moment, seeming to have a hesitant look, and finally revealed a few words: "You go take a look quickly." And then she hastily left.

  I was left bewildered, and as the sun began to set in the west, I suddenly remembered that it had been a long time since anyone had gone with Chun'er to fly kites. At that moment, the sunset was like fire, reflecting off the peach tree like a tree of fresh blood bursting forth, and my heart felt an ominous premonition, so I immediately ordered people to go search everywhere.

  Chun'er was soon found.

  When the night fell, Xiayi returned to report with a face full of unbearable sorrow and shock. I heard her heavy footsteps and was frightened, but I didn't think of the worst-case scenario - at most, she must have made some mistake and been scolded by one of the imperial concubines.

  However, the silence after the silence was still a sorrowful silence. The side chamber where Chun'er lived next door had already echoed with the suppressed crying and wailing of the palace maids.

  I fell heavily onto the chair.

  Fang Liangyuan was drowned in the Taiye Pool. When she was found, her hand was still clutching a broken kite.

  I was almost stunned, with a warm and sour feeling constantly falling on my face. How can I believe that the lively and jumping Chun'er in the afternoon has become a lifeless corpse drowned in the Taiye pool? Chun'er, she's only 15 years old! How can I believe it? How can I accept it?!

  Not long ago, she was still flying a kite in the upper forest; She was still making trouble and breaking the painting screen; She was still waiting for her 16th birthday to be happily and festively appointed as a pin; She was still eating the delicate pastries I had prepared for her and telling jokes; She said she wanted to be the aunt of my unborn child, and the jade pendant that was supposed to be the betrothal gift was still there... But now she's suddenly gone... Zhen Xi saw that my face wasn't right, and hurriedly came over to push me, but I still didn't want to believe it. It wasn't until someone outside said that Chun'er's body had been taken into the Yan Nian Hall that I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart, and let out a loud wail, pushing people away as I rushed out.

  The eunuchs saw that I couldn't be stopped, and hastily called for someone. I rushed to the gate of the palace, and Xiao Yuankui knelt down in front of me, blocking my way. He was so anxious that his face turned pale as he said: "Your Majesty! Your Majesty! You can't go! The Emperor said that you are a pregnant woman and cannot see this person who has been sent to Yan Nian Palace! Your Majesty!"

  As they spoke, Gui Yu had already chased out and desperately hugged my legs, shouting: "Your Majesty, think thrice! Going like this will only startle the Emperor. Please consider the flesh and blood in your belly, it really can't be seen by him!"

  The night wind stung my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably as they escorted me back to the palace. I remained silent, only tightly clutching the sheep fat white jade pendant that Chun'er had given me, tears streaming down my face. Xuan Ling rushed over upon hearing the news to comfort me, forbidding me from going out again. He too was heartbroken and sighed repeatedly. I couldn't fall asleep, filled with regret for not being more careful when we went out to fly kites together, and especially for letting her go alone to pick up a kite while only having an eunuch follow from afar. Xuan Ling had no choice but to order the imperial physician to give me sleeping medicine before I finally calmed down.

  Xuan Ling allowed Yu Nu's extreme mourning and posthumously conferred the title of Pin on Chun'er, also ordering that she be treated according to the rites for a noble concubine.

  Forcing herself to calm down, she ignored Xuan Ling's dissuasion and went to Yan Nian Palace to keep vigil for Chun'er. The dimly lit grand hall was filled with white funeral banners fluttering in the air, the scent of incense wafting solemnly, and the candlelight casting eerie shadows. The palace maids in Chun'er's palace were wailing and kowtowing on the ground as they burned paper money for her, while a few lower-ranking palace ladies were sobbing quietly.

  As soon as I saw the snow-white spiritual tent, my heart ached and tears had already flowed down. With a sad face, I accepted the incense candles and put them on the altar, then waved my hand to several palace maids: "You are all tired too, go down first."

  They were not familiar with Chun'er, and seeing her favored as a young girl was inevitable to envy and secretly resent. They only reluctantly followed orders to guard the spirit tablet, and couldn't wait to leave after a single sound. Hearing me say this, they paid their respects and dispersed like birds and beasts.

  In the mourning hall, Xun'er's body was laid out. Due to the swelling from being submerged in water, her face didn't show any painful expression, as if she had just fallen asleep peacefully.

  My heart was filled with great sorrow, and I bit my handkerchief and sobbed. In the deep of night, except for the sound of crying, it was quiet and silent all around. Suddenly, a figure knelt down in front of me, holding onto my robe and knocking his head against the ground: "Please, Your Highness, take charge of my family's young mistress."

  I took a closer look and it wasn't Chun'er's maid Cuiyu who had entered the palace, so who was it? I quickly pulled her up and said: "What's going on? Tell me slowly!"

  Cui Yu refused to get up, looked around and saw no one, then boldly said: "In response to the princess's words, my young lady was murdered!"

  "Jun'er died suddenly, and I had already had great doubts in my heart. I said to Cui Yu: 'This is not a casual remark.'"

  Cui Yu's eyes widened, and she suppressed her grief and indignation. She knocked her head twice and said: "My young mistress grew up by the lake since childhood and is extremely familiar with water. She definitely wouldn't drown to death! I really think that my mistress died under suspicious circumstances!"

  At first, she was so grief-stricken by Chun'er's sudden death that she cried until she fainted, but as she gradually calmed down and her mind cleared up a bit, she began to feel that there were too many things that didn't add up. She summoned the eunuchs who had followed Chun'er that day to ask them questions, and they all said that after Chun'er picked up the kite, she ran too fast, and after passing by the Qichun Pavilion, her trail was lost, and despite a thorough search, she wasn't found until later in the Taiye Pool.

  Everyone said she was a drowning accident, but now it seems very suspicious. I suddenly remembered Cao Zhi's words of warning, the white candle flame in front of me flickered, and my heart had a chill - She knew something!

  Perhaps her appearance in Shanglin Garden was just to slow me down and prevent me from discovering Chun'er's tardiness too quickly.

  My heart is filled with great hatred, and I am sending a tiger away from the mountain. However, I also know that questioning Cao Zhi's wife will not yield anything.

  Forcing down his intense hatred, he asked Cui Yu: "What evidence do you have?"

  Cui Yu's eyes suddenly turned red, and she gritted her teeth in anger, saying "No".

  I am grieved, and beneath my grief is the injustice and resentment for Chun'er. She's only fifteen years old, at an age as tender as a flower bud, originally she should be carefree and joyful under her parents' loving care.

  I remained silent for a while, trying to suppress the surging sadness and hatred in my heart. I helped Cui Yu up and slowly took a deep breath, saying: "For now, everything is unconfirmed and we can't make any rash statements. You go back to my palace first and wait on me, let's bide our time." Cui Yu was tearfully silent, ultimately having no choice but to comply.

  Outside the palace, it was a dark and endless night, even the bright moon couldn't illuminate this heavy darkness and sorrow. The huge harem was as quiet as a tomb, with a chilling atmosphere that seemed to devour bones, it was the accumulation of countless wronged souls. Even the two undying palace lanterns outside the Yanxian Hall were like phosphorescent fire, the unblinking eyes of ghosts. A snow-bright hatred rose in my eyes, I looked at Xun'er's body and said word by word: "If your family's young lady was indeed harmed by someone, this palace will definitely avenge her, absolutely not letting her die in vain!"

  On the day of mourning, the empress and various palace consorts all came to Yan Nian Hall. I suppressed my grief and took out the ritual garments that had already been prepared to change into for the deceased Chun'er.

  The empress saw me changing into mourning clothes for Chun'er, standing beside me with tears streaming down her face. She sighed softly and said: "Fang Liangyu was just a young girl when she entered the palace, and now it's only been a few years? At the peak of her youth and favored by the emperor, how could she suddenly leave like this? It's truly heartbreaking!..."

  The Empress Hua also sighed: "So young, what a pity!..."

  Huafei, Yanfei, Jingfei and Cao Jieyu were all wiping away tears. I had stopped crying and was coldly staring at Huafei who was standing far away by the door of the palace, wiping away her tears and sobbing, feeling an indescribable disgust and hatred.

  At this time, Xuan Ling's edict arrived, which was an order to the Ministry of Rites and delivered to the six palaces: "The virtuous concubine Fang Shi has cultivated her virtues, and the four virtues are all present. She is a model of modesty and humility, and her demeanor is dignified and elegant. Now that she has passed away suddenly, I am deeply grieved. I specially promote her to a higher rank, in order to show my esteem for her virtuous and wise character, and posthumously confer on her the title of Chun Bin... All funeral rites shall be performed according to the rites for a noble concubine." He also ordered that seven days later, the coffin be moved to the tomb of Tai Fei, where she would be buried with De Fei, Xian Fei, and several other consorts who had died young.

  This person has passed away, and Xuan Ling can only do this much. There are still some low-ranking palace maids whispering to each other, congratulating Chun'er: after death, such a grand funeral is not in vain! But for me, I would rather have Chun'er not have these empty titles and ranks, as long as she lives well.

  For a moment, it seemed as if she was still in my palace, suddenly pointing at that tree of sea pinks, tilting her head and smiling: "Sister, can I go pick a branch of flowers?", so vivid and dear.

  I know it was her, turning to glare at Consort Hua, clenching my fists, this is the living life that died by my side, if there's any hand or foot that caused Chun'er's death, I will definitely, definitely make them pay back everything!

  Note: (1) Catching Seven: a boudoir game (2) Revised from "The Story of Zhang Fei, the Wife of King Xiang of Chu"