Chapter 89: Hesitation!

  Kyon’s First Person Point Of View.

  Elijah’s question hung in the air, sinking into me like a weight I wasn’t prepared to carry.

  “Are you truly sure your supposed allies will back your dangerous play?”

  I should have had an answer. I should have been able to say yes without hesitation. But I couldn’t.

  The words sat on my tongue, refusing to leave.

  Elijah leaned back slightly, his crimson eyes never leaving mine, patient in the way only someone with centuries of experience could be. He was waiting for me to realize it myself.

  And I was realizing it.

  Slowly. Painfully.

  I wasn’t sure.

  The longer I let the silence stretch, the more I understood that I had walked into this believing in something that wasn’t real.

  Harvey. Lawrence. Sia. Kadir.

  Were they truly with me?

  Harvey, the leader of Argent Sword, had only just met me. He saved Sia and me from Faraday, but that didn’t mean he was on my side. He was here to do his job. The balance was what mattered to him. I wasn’t sure if I was anything more than another factor in his calculations.

  Lawrence—I had spent months training with him. I had fought beside him, endured the brutal lessons that Argent Sword drilled into its initiates. He had opened up, if only slightly, about how he awakened his Flux. About why he did what he did. But did that mean he would fight for me?

  Sia. She was young, reckless, passionate. Maybe, just maybe, she would jump in if things went south. But that didn’t mean she should.

  And Kadir.

  The biggest mystery of them all.

  An old man with secrets I couldn’t even begin to unravel. He said he was here to extract me. That was all. Nothing more, nothing less.

  Would he care if I fell here? Would any of them?

  I had power. I had my Daywalker blood. My Flux. But what did that mean if I was alone?

  I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to push back against the tide of doubt creeping in.

  “Think, Kyon.”

  Elijah didn’t move, but there was something almost amused in his gaze. He could see it. The struggle. The slow unraveling of whatever conviction I thought I had.

  “You hesitate,” he finally said.

  I swallowed, but didn’t answer.

  He tilted his head slightly, the faintest smirk on his lips. “You’re beginning to see it, aren’t you? That power alone isn’t enough. That just because you can do something, doesn’t mean anyone will follow you.”

  I hated that he was right.

  That he was making me confront something I wasn’t ready to admit.

  “Maybe you’ve been looking at this all wrong,” Elijah mused. “You think you have allies. That the time you’ve spent with them means something. That if you decide to strike, they will follow. But tell me, Kyon—do they even know who you are?"

  I exhaled sharply through my nose.

  “They know me.”

  “Do they?” Elijah asked, voice calm. “They know a version of you. A boy training with them. A young man with potential. But have you ever needed them before this moment? Have you ever tested them? Or are you just hoping that the bonds you’ve built are stronger than they actually are?”

  I didn’t answer. Because I didn’t know.

  The silence between us stretched.

  I hated the way his words sank into my bones, how they pulled at the cracks I had tried to ignore.

  “You want to kill Conrad.”

  I nodded. That much was still true.

  “But you want something else, too,” Elijah continued, his tone sharp, dissecting. “You want to live. To survive. To carve out a place for yourself in this world. That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? It’s not just about revenge. It’s about proving that you belong. That your power means something.”

  I felt my hands curl into fists.

  “And now, for the first time, you’re realizing that maybe you miscalculated.”

  A slow breath left my lips. I could feel my heart pounding—not from fear, but from the sheer weight of what I was up against.

  I had walked into this with the certainty of someone who thought they understood the battlefield.

  But I wasn’t a warlord.

  I wasn’t a leader.

  I was a twenty-year-old who had tasted power for the first time and thought that was enough.

  It wasn’t.

  Elijah watched me carefully. “You thought you could rally them because you believe in this cause. But belief isn’t enough, Kyon. The question is—do they believe?”

  And that was the part I didn’t have an answer for.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Harvey had no reason to.

  Lawrence was a maybe at best.

  Sia—too emotional, too reckless, but not a guarantee.

  And Kadir… Kadir would watch, as he always did.

  Would they fight beside me?

  Would they risk their lives for me?

  I had no proof.

  And without proof, all I had was hope.

  Hope was a fragile thing to stake my life on.

  Elijah exhaled, his expression unreadable now. “You have power, Kyon. More than most. But do you have the will to use it while knowing what the consequences are?”

  I swallowed.

  Could I do what needed to be done, knowing that it might cost innocent lives?

  Could I sacrifice others for the sake of my own survival?

  Elijah leaned forward slightly, voice quieter now, but no less sharp. “You claimed that you were just a kid trying to take care of his family. That you held onto that scholarship because it was your lifeline. Your way of making something of yourself.”

  I nodded, slowly.

  “Then tell me, Kyon—will you give it all up at a moment’s notice? If I told you that to win this war, you would have to abandon that life entirely, would you hesitate?”

  My fingers twitched.

  He was backing me into a corner. And I hated how much of this I didn’t have an answer for.

  “Do you believe in fate?” Elijah asked, voice almost distant now.

  I blinked at the sudden shift. “...What?”

  “Fate,” he repeated. “You came here thinking you could study, that you could live a life separate from all of this. But what if fate had other plans for you?”

  I swallowed hard.

  “What if there is more to your existence than a university degree?” Elijah pressed. “What if you were never meant to live a quiet life?”

  A cold feeling crept through me.

  Elijah’s eyes burned into mine. “Doesn’t it make you wonder? Why you were born like this? Why you have power that no one else truly understands? Doesn’t it make you question if you were meant for something greater?"

  I opened my mouth, but no words came.

  He smiled slightly. “You came here thinking you could control your destiny. But the truth is, Kyon—you are already caught in something far bigger than yourself. And now you have to decide.”

  I forced my breath to steady.

  “Decide what?” I asked, my voice quieter than I wanted it to be.

  Elijah’s expression darkened, his crimson gaze unwavering.

  “If you will fight for control—or if you will let fate decide for you.”

  The words struck something deep inside me.

  Because this wasn’t just about Conrad.

  This wasn’t just about retaliation.

  It was about who I was.

  And what I was willing to become.

  And I still didn’t have an answer.

  Not yet.

  Elijah’s words lingered, pressing against my mind like a vice.

  “If you will fight for control—or if you will let fate decide for you.”

  I couldn’t answer. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  The silence between us stretched, thick and suffocating. My pulse thrummed in my ears, a steady beat reminding me that time—real time—was still passing outside this psychic plane.

  I had to decide.

  Elijah watched me carefully, his crimson gaze gleaming with something unreadable.

  “You still hesitate,” he said, not unkindly. “You hold onto the idea that you can balance it all. Your humanity, your duty, your ambition.”

  I swallowed.

  “I am human.” The words came out quieter than I wanted them to.

  Elijah tilted his head, considering me. “Are you?”

  I stiffened. “What else would I be?”

  “A survivor,” he mused. “A predator, perhaps. A Daywalker, certainly. But human?” He leaned forward. “That, Kyon, is for you to decide.”

  I exhaled slowly.

  He was forcing me to confront something I had been avoiding since the moment my life changed. Since I first realized I was different.

  Since I learned that I was stronger.

  I had told myself I was just a kid trying to take care of his family. That all of this—Flux, Argent Sword, even this city—was just a means to an end. A way to secure a future where they wouldn’t have to struggle like I did.

  But that wasn’t the whole truth, was it?

  If I was only here for them, why was I still fighting?

  Why did I crave more?

  Elijah’s voice cut through my thoughts. “Would you give it up, then?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  “The scholarship,” he clarified. “The life you so desperately cling to. Would you give it up at a moment’s notice?”

  I felt my stomach twist.

  This was supposed to be temporary. A step toward something bigger. But the truth was, I wasn’t sure what that something even was anymore.

  “I thought of my Aunt Amina. The letters, the late-night calls, the quiet sacrifices she made so I could be here. I thought of her expectations, her hope.

  And yet.

  I was more than just a boy trying to make his family proud.

  I knew that now.

  Elijah saw it, too.

  “You hesitate again,” he murmured. “That’s telling.”

  I clenched my jaw. “You’re trying to manipulate me.”

  “I’m trying to make you think," he corrected. “You tell yourself that you’re here for them. But what if fate has something else in store for you?”

  I swallowed hard.

  Fate.

  The word felt heavy in my chest.

  I had spent my entire life fighting against it. The fate of being just another kid from Zaria, struggling to survive. The fate of being trapped by circumstances beyond my control.

  And yet, here I was.

  Chosen. Special.

  Powerful.

  Did I regret coming here?

  If I had stayed in Afrika, I would have lived in peace. Not comfort, not prosperity, but peace.

  Would that have been enough?

  Would I have been satisfied living a quiet, simple life?

  Elijah leaned back, watching me carefully. “You haven’t answered the question, Kyon.”

  I exhaled sharply. “Because I don’t know.”

  “Ah,” he said, as if that explained everything. “You’re afraid to admit that you do want more.”

  I felt my fingers twitch.

  “Tell me,” he continued, voice deceptively soft. “If fate had written a different story for you, one where you never awakened your Flux, where you never came to Sharman—would you be happy?”

  I thought about it. Really thought about it.

  And I didn’t have an answer.

  Not one that I liked, anyway.

  Elijah smiled faintly. “You see now, don’t you?”

  I didn’t reply.

  “You do want more,” he said, and this time, it wasn’t a question. “And why shouldn’t you? There is more to life than a university degree, Kyon. More than scraping by, more than survival.”

  I closed my eyes for a brief second.

  More than survival.

  Was that what I wanted?

  To stand at the top of the world?

  I had never dared to think that far ahead. My goals had always been simple—get my degree, take care of my family, stay alive.

  But the moment I stepped into this world, the moment I learned what I was capable of, those goals had started to shift.

  I did want more.

  I just didn’t know what that meant.

  Or what it would cost.

  Elijah’s voice cut through my thoughts again. “Then let me ask you something even more important.”

  I looked at him, tension coiled in my chest.

  “Who are you, Kyon?”

  I frowned. “I already told you—”

  “No,” Elijah interrupted smoothly. “I don’t mean your name. I don’t mean your past. I mean who you truly are."

  I stared at him.

  “You’ve been reacting to the world around you,” he continued. “Surviving. Adapting. But have you ever stopped to consider what you truly want?”

  I had no response.

  Because he was right.

  I had spent so much time running, fighting, trying to stay afloat, that I had never stopped to think.

  Who was I?

  What did I want?

  Not for my family. Not for Argent Sword. Not even for survival.

  For myself.

  Elijah let the silence stretch, letting the weight of the question settle.

  Then, his voice dropped lower, sharper.

  “And tell me this, Kyon—when Conrad is dead, do you think it ends there?”

  A chill ran down my spine.

  Because I already knew the answer.

  I had told myself that this was about Conrad. About taking him down, about proving that I could stand against monsters like him.

  But it wouldn’t stop there.

  This world didn’t work that way.

  Killing Conrad wouldn’t be the end.

  It would be the beginning.

  Elijah watched me, eyes gleaming. “Your hands will be soaked in blood before this is over. Maybe more than you realize. Are you prepared for that?”

  I felt my breath hitch.

  Because that was the real question, wasn’t it?

  Not whether I had power.

  Not whether I could rally my so-called allies.

  But whether I could live with what I would have to do.

  Because this wouldn’t be the last fight.

  This wouldn’t be the last kill.

  If I wanted to survive—if I wanted to win—then I would have to keep going.

  Again.

  And again.

  And again.

  How much blood was I willing to spill?

  How much of myself was I willing to lose?

  I met Elijah’s gaze, my hands curling into fists at my sides.

  I didn’t have an answer.

  Not yet.

  But I was running out of time.

  And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what would be left of me when I finally did.