I exhaled as I got up from the barely breathing elf. I took in the state he was in, and to what extent I had managed to hurt him. It's hard to believe that this is the same person I just tried to communicate with, I really made a mess out of him in such a short time. I was just so furious at him, I tried to let him escape with his life, even if that could come back and bite me in the ass. I didn't intend to hurt him to this degree, and the most humane thing to do at this point is to simply end his suffering, if he even is conscious by this point.

  The scent of the blood that was still pumping out of him teased my nose, and the voice of my inner hunger was egging me on, telling me how much I would enjoy devouring his flesh. I cursed at the voice, hating its presence inside of my head. I tried to ignore it and put my attention on the dying elf.

  I considered what the best way to end his suffering would be, when I noticed the sword he had dropped earlier. I went and picked the sword up, inspecting it as I held it. It was a plain looking short sword, a simple cross guard without any decorations. The hilt was more interesting, seeming to be covered by tiny roots for a better grip, and the pommel was formed as a clover. It was my first time holding a sword, so I couldn't tell a good sword from a bad one, but it would serve its purpose.

  I returned to the suffering elf, determined to do what I thought was right. I hesitated for a moment, thinking out loudly to myself. It should feel more difficult to end the life of this defenseless elf. Back home I would have called an ambulance and the police if I had come across someone bloodied and hurt, and the experience would be emotionally traumatizing but now the sight only makes my mouth water.

  I tried to shake away the thoughts of my morals from my old world and prepared myself for the inevitable. I stood over the dying elf, holding the tip of the sword over his chest before I plunged it straight down into his heart in a single motion. His body twitched one last time as the Blade pierced his chest. The wheezing sound ceased completely and his body went limp in a way only death would cause.

  I took a deep breath taking in the heavy smell of blood thick in the air. I let out a loud sigh and observed the carnage I had caused. This view looks like it is taken out of a splatter movie, it feels unreal to think that I caused all this. Shouldn't I feel some kind of remorse for killing actual people. And be disgusted by this horrific sight, yet I feel neither. I'm just hungry and the smell is making me drool.

  Is this really what my life is gonna be like now? Going around killing people so I can eat them? Oh shit. I really am a monster now. Didn't I keep telling myself that I wouldn't turn into a bloodthirsty monster. That I needed to retain my humanity for my own sake. So what should I do now? If I actually eat them now, that will just confirm that I am the monster I feared turning into. But wouldn't it be a huge waste to just let them rot? From the little taste I had, they do contain a lot of magic, might even be more than the elf this morning. Also, didn’t I go out specifically to hunt and eat, in the hope of gaining my second tail?

  The intoxicating smell of the blood entered my nostrils and my stomach growled loudly, distracting me from my moral dilemma. “Shut the fuck up” I screamed at my stomach. I ended up killing several people, and as the ramification of my actions hits me, I have to feel the hunger creeping up on me, urging me to eat their corpses. Is this really how monsters feel?

  The words rang out inside my head again. Is this how monsters feel? An ice cold shiver ran through my body and my knees gave out, making me kneel in front of my latest victim, the sword still firmly embedded in his chest. I stared down on my shaking paws, the fur so stained by blood that I couldn't see the original white coloring anymore. My insides felt like a rollercoaster of emotions, swirling around inside of, nearly bringing me to the brink of tears.

  “But, but. I'm not. I'm not a monster. It wasn't even my fault.” I mumbled to myself, as I broke out in tears, while I was kneeling in a pool of blood in front of the dead elf. Angry, frustrated, hungry and mostly just sad, I slammed my paw into his corpse, and said between sobs. “This. This is all you guys fault, I tried, I really tried. I don't want to be a monster, but you guys acted like I was one.”

  “ I'm not a monster.” I screamed from the bottom of my lungs toward the sky. My own words brought back some of my lost confidence. “Okey Alexander, man up and pull yourself together again. " I told myself. The words hung in the air for a brief moment before I erupted out in laughter. That was hilarious and wrong in several ways. I'm neither Alexander nor a man anymore, no matter how much I wish for that to be true.

  “So Lunaria, woman up and pull yourself together.” I told myself. The words felt sour to actually say out loud, and they didn't have the same ring to them, but at least they pulled me back from my down spiraling for now.

  Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

  I wiped away my tears and as my blood soaked paws came closer to my nose, I felt my stomach rumble, reminding me again of my intense hunger. “Oh, it doesn't ever end, does it?" I asked myself. I let out a sigh and eyed the corpse in front of me, and felt the drool building up in my mouth.

  Gawd, there is something seriously wrong with me, or rather this fox race in general. No matter what I do, I'm gonna regret it. If I eat these elves that I personally killed, I know that it will haunt me. If I leave them here to rot, I'm gonna regret wasting such a meal, and my stomach will torment me for god knows how Long.

  “So what should I do, Gildor? Should I just leave you guys here and let the scavengers eat your rotting corpses? You're gonna be eaten either way, so you won't object if I give in and just indulge?” I asked the lifeless elf In front of me. The only response I got was an eerie silence.

  I perked up my ears, pretending to hear something.

  “What was that Gildor? You would love for me to eat you? If that is the case, I will oblige.” I said, like I was having a conversation with the guy.

  That settles it then, I said to myself and got back on my feet.

  I had a brief glance at the campfire and noticed there were still smoldering embers there.

  I shrugged to myself. Might as well eat at the fire. Originally I wanted to join them around the campfire. It might not be the way I hoped, but it is something.

  I pulled the sword out of Gildor’s chest and dragged him by the ankle to the campfire. As I put him and the sword down I noticed a small pile of firewood and three leather backpacks lying a safe distance from the campfire.

  I gave the elves a silent thanks and threw a few logs on top of the campfire and blew carefully into the embers, and soon enough the embers evolved into flames and illuminated the area.

  With Gildor’s corpse in front of me I had to hold myself back, so I wouldn't instantly start devouring the corpse. Everything in me wanted to eat the elves, it was like an instinctively part of me that demanded me devour them. But is this really okay? If I give in to this and actually eat them, I’m afraid I will lose an important part of me. Will I become the monster I feared to become from doing this?, maybe is it already too late for that? Or is it just me that is incredibly dumb? Overthinking everything and holding myself back from my true nature as a Celestial snow fox? Arh screw it, I don't have the patience for this.

  I used my claws to rip off what remained of this tattered shirt, and started cutting flaps of skin off, revealing his soft juicy flesh.

  My mouth watered by the sight of the treasured red substance underneath but I restrained myself and held up the largest flap of skin to my nose.

  Instantly the ecstasy ran through my veins, making my whole body tremble in anticipation. Unable to hold myself back any longer, I threw the piece of pale skin into my mouth.

  I let out a joyful moan as I turned the piece around in my mouth, My taste buds exploding in pure delight. "God damnit Gildor, who would have believed that you would taste this good, Why didn't you say so right away" I said to the corpse, not expecting a response. I swallowed the content in my mouth and felt power surge through me, filling me with energy and an unreal feeling of joy and happiness, in such an extreme way I only thought could be provided by doing hard drugs. I had the fleeting thought that a fresh elf tasted so much better than the elf I had for breakfast. I quickly tore off a strip of flesh from where I had removed the skin. It was still dripping blood as it threw it into my mouth.

  I moaned in pleasure again as I started chewing on the meat, providing the same sensation yet again, urging me to eat more to increase the amount of joy I could feel.

  I felt all my senses heighten, making the chirping of the nightly insects together with the crackling of the fire morph into music in my head, making me hum with the beat until I swallowed.

  My paws were practically shaking from the intense energy I felt bubbling within me, My primal instincts going into overdrive, trying to seize control over me.

  I let out an involuntary growl as I tried to contain every instinct and emotion, I put my focus back at Gildor and my mouth overflowed with saliva, making strings of drool hanging out of my mouth as my mind went into a haze.

  I felt a sudden deep attraction to the flesh crevasse I had made in Gildor’s corpse, I felt my paw move on its own accord towards the wound, I forced my paw into the opening and pulled out a fistful of flesh before I barbarically stuffed the content into my mouth. The taste of the raw flesh sent me right to nirvana and a new surge of power ran through every limb, giving me the urge to start laughing out loud by myself, like a madman. I felt the sense of self slip away, making me feel like I was an observer from within my own body.

  My body leapt on top of Gildor, putting my face into his chest and started eating ferociously, tearing flesh off the corpse directly with my teeth, snarling and growling to myself while feasting.

  It was like an passenger in my own body, I couldn't believe what I was currently doing, I was acting like a wild animal with no self control. Something inside of me wanted me to stop, but the taste was incredible, and I could practically feel myself grow stronger by the second.

  The intoxicating feeling of power drowned the little voice in the back of my head that wanted me to stop and everything passed in a blur.