Mop in his face, Cade swallowed hard.

  He raised his hands in surrender while the aged woman in a tattered and worn Lifekeeper uniform jabbed her moist spear in his direction. The cleaning instrument sloshed like a drunk jellyfish in the air in front of him, and it wasn’t until he really digested what was happening that he dropped his arms.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, ya lily-livered idjit of a boy!” The geriatric janitor warned.

  Cade resisted the urge to laugh at the sight of the short Lifekeeper hoisting her mop about like it was some lethal halberd.

  “I’m sorry, fair maiden, but I’m not going to—” Cade began with his most winning smile.

  He was excellent with the elderly.

  Cade was about to put on the charm when the mop moved. The butt of the wooden pole slammed into his stomach, and he doubled over. The wet tendrils of the mop’s head slammed into his cheeks so quickly there was a faint afterimage of their trek through the air. He flew sideways against the jagged stones of the wall. Bunny, sensing the collision, clambered from his perch in Cade’s hood and clung to the thief’s other side.

  His vision blurred. Cleaning solution mixed with his sweat. He lifted his head just enough to see the short woman wind up and then sprint toward him.

  She moved so fast it was hard to see where she went as two of her shimmered forward in his foggy eyesight. The old woman lunged low and then flipped up and backward, catching her sturdy boot under his chin as she finished her twirl.

  His head cracked against the back of the wall. Bunny leapt out and growled at the janitor through his small, yet razor-sharp teeth.

  Her demeanor shifted immediately.

  “Ah, would ya look at that?” She beamed with her toothless smile. “I never thought in all my days that I’d see another cloudrift dragon! How’d ya get down here, ya cute little thing?”

  The woman kneeled down and held out her open palm toward Bunny. Cade moaned and slowly got to his feet, the world around him still a blur of revolving motion. It had all happened so fast. The shock was quickly replaced with anger, and his magic finally came to his call, albeit in a chaotic whirl he could barely control.

  A side door creaked open, and the cute face of a shy wood-elf girl peeked inside.

  “Is everything alright, Lora?” The girl asked. “I thought I heard a commotion.”

  Cade’s vision slowly recentered, and he waved lazily at the newcomer. She blushed profusely and slipped into the room before she closed it again.

  “What in Life’s name are you doing here, champion?” she asked.

  “You’re the girl from the palanquin, right? I’m Cade. It’s nice to meet you,” Cade said with a dazed smile.

  The wood elf sighed and rested her hands against each hip as she looked pointedly at the elderly janitor.

  “Lora? Have you been assaulting guests again?” the elf demanded. “Isn’t that what got you booby-duty in the first place?”

  To Cade’s absolute shock, the other Lifekeeper was genuinely chastised.

  “It’s not my fault they’re always such weaklings, Meadow,” Lora muttered half-heartedly.

  “Apologize. Now,” Meadow demanded, though the blush in her cheeks had barely abated.

  “I’m sorry... champion,” Lora mumbled, and she studied the floor like it was the most interesting stretch of stone in the world.

  “That’s quite alright,” Cade replied as he rubbed the back of his head.

  It was definitely going to bruise. He was already spinning up the epic tale he would tell his crew about how he got these injuries. The truth was too absurd, even for him.

  He could picture it now: “No, a jellyfish on a stick came out of nowhere, and an old lady backflipped and kicked me in the face. I swear! Rayka, stop acting it out!”

  Yeah, no.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “Can we go back to booby-duty?” Cade requested with as much decorum as he could. “What in the hells is that?”

  Leaning down, he scooped up Bunny, who went back and forth from glaring at Lora and nuzzling his snout into Cade’s bruised cheeks. Lora’s eyes darkened, and she stood up, the grip on her mop so tight Cade saw the treated wood bend under her might.

  “Did you do that?” Lora asked with such blatant hatred Cade took a step backward.

  “Do what?” he asked, and he hated how his voice cracked just a bit.

  “The cloudrift’s tail. Did you do... that?” She pointed at the uneven scar that abruptly ended halfway up Bunny’s tail.

  The appendage’s stub glimmered slightly in the rich blue light from this room’s glowflakes.

  “No,” Cade answered softly.

  His lip curled into a snarl at the memory.

  “We discovered him after some trappers did—this.” Cade met Lora’s steely gaze with one of his own. “Trust me. They got what they deserved. It was slow.”

  Lora stood to her full height, which wasn’t much, and nodded once.

  “Alright,” the old warrior said with equal animosity to those trappers. “Well, he seems to trust ya, and so I guess that’ll have to do.”

  “Plus I’d have to inform the Order if you killed anyone else, Lora,” Meadow warned as she leaned forward.

  “Right enough, dearie. Right enough.” She gave Cade a cheeky grin, all of the barely restrained bloodlust in her eyes vanished like it had never been there. “And to answer your question, this is booby-duty.”

  The squat janitor gestured with her mop, and Cade finally took in the room in full. Row upon row of spikes, pendulum axes, steel pistons etched with dormant runes, and dozens of blowdart mechanisms lined the room for as far as he could see. He could see the faint outlines of even more exotic traps set onto shelves or leaned against thick wooden crates in the distance.

  This was a warehouse for death.

  “Abyss below,” Cade whispered under his breath.

  He suddenly felt very, very, vulnerable.

  “Oh, aye!” Lora answered cheerily. “Ain’t it a sight to behold?”

  She leaned against her mop with an adoring expression at the instruments of destruction.

  Cade’s palms felt clammy. “How—how do you not die down here?”

  “Oh, that’s simple!” Meadow offered with a smile before she looked at Cade and blushed again.

  Eyes averted, she continued, “We get special amulets that protect us within a ten-foot radius of the traps. All of the runes are disarmed while we clean them and dispose of the bodies or limbs. It’s—not a task for people in good standing. I was in the warehouse on the other side doing the same thing when I heard your—ahhh—disagreement.”

  “There’s TWO of them?” Cade demanded in outrage. “Why in the world would the goddess of Life need so many creative ways to off people in her own damned arena?”

  Cade regretted the words the second they spilled out of him. The two Lifekeepers shared a complicated exchange involving shrugs and eyebrows, but it was Meadow who broke the awkward silence between them.

  “Life is—she’s not just someone who gives life, okay? She stewards the whole cycle of life, and that includes death. It’s a vital part to the ultimate expansion of life in our world. Our souls push forward, but then become another stone in the pavement toward that greater future,” Meadow explained meekly. She licked her lips nervously.

  “So, you want Life to just step all over you?” Cade couldn’t help but ask.

  Meadow blushed and raised her hands defensively, but Lora cut her off.

  “Lassie, you’re doing a terrible job of this, ya are.” Lora stared intently at Cade, her gray eyes unblinking and filled with a dangerous zeal. “Life isn’t easy. It’s brutal, efficient, and always changing. Our Lady embodies that. And so, to celebrate both her benevolence and willingness to cut down fruitless branches from her tree, we fight.”

  Lora straightened her spine with pride.

  “We kill. We die. Life means more to us than our lives,” Lora finished with conviction.

  Cade was speechless.

  Or, rather, he knew when to quit.

  Shrugging, he gave them a warm smile. “Alright, then. So... “

  He leaned in conspiratorially, and Bunny chuffed on top of his shoulders.

  “I have a bit of a business proposition for you two,” Cade whispered. “All that gold that I won in the first challenge? It’s yours. All I want is one of those charms. Deal?”

  “I don’t know,” Meadow answered nervously when he was done.

  She glanced over at the door as if expecting Bazz or some other authority to come and bust them. Lora placed a calloused hand on her shoulder and grinned.

  “Oh, I think this’ll make us a pretty penny,” Lora crooned wickedly.

  The old janitor looked down at the sandstone floor aglow with blueish light and then raised her hands to the ceiling.

  “Oh, would you look at that!” Lora suddenly shouted far too loudly, and in a tone at odds with the devious intelligence he’d witnessed just moments ago. “I’m such a forgetful old woman. I can’t believe I’m forgetting such useful equipment everywhere. Now, where did I put that little thing? Huh, it must be gone forever.”

  Cade grinned and handed over a sizable bag that clinked metallically as it passed from his grasp to Lora’s. Meadow bit at her lower lip, but said nothing.

  “Pleasure doing business with you,” Cade said and made for the door.

  He paused, hand on the ornately carved oaken slab.

  “Thank you,” he said to the two women.

  Meadow smiled shyly and waved at him with a small twist of her wrist. And just like that, he fled the way he came, certain this was going to help him in all sorts of ways.

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