The evening din of a booming community faded to oblivion. What remained behind was a cold chill and a faint ringing noise announcing waning blood flow through the head.

  A simple question asked by an innocent little boy could be considered innocuous, or mischievous, if the child had the right look in their eyes. However, the slow, threatening movement of something unknown in the world was not an idea reconcilable with the image of innocence.

  That rattling question, uncanny and wrong, slowly filled Jyevodirr's mind like a curse filling itself up. It sowed seeds of confusion and mistrust in a way the youth had only once experienced before.

  ‘Why did you get to live.’

  What did he mean by questioning Jyevodirr's right to live? What nonsense was this little boy spouting?

  “What do you mean, boy?” Jyevodirr’s tone was much harder this time. He had no interest in entertaining such foolishness. Only, this time the heat shied away from showing its cowardly rage.

  “You don't know, do you?” the little boy ponderously said, lowering his eyes as if in shame. “It’s bad. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. But are you good, big brother?”

  “That's something you can decide only if you observe someone’s actions, boy.” Jyevodirr’s reply was sour. He didn't like antagonizing a little boy who was most likely younger than ten, but the little boy wasn't making it easier for Jyevodirr to respond kindly.

  “Will things you didn't do yet count? Or things that come from you, not you doing something yourself?” The little boy quizzed.

  Jyevodirr sighed.

  With all his strength, the little boy didn’t seem interested in attacking Jyevodirr at all. All he seemed content to do was ask cryptic, nonsensical questions.

  Perhaps, his questions weren’t nonsense at all, being indicative of something swimming deeper in their murky waters. With the amount of strength the little boy had, and the amount of seemingly irrelevant questions he was asking, there must be something driving these questions. And those long, haunting looks.

  “Look, kid, I don't know who you are. What is your name?” Jyevodirr tried to take things in a different direction. Maybe he could still salvage the situation with the little child.

  “Nyuxis Lanyaxath,” the little boy answered.

  Lanyaxath. They were the last of the Zax'syilava Ziggoyeth, of whom Jyevodirr had not encountered a single individual yet – before his meeting with this child, that is.

  The Lanyaxath were people connected to the land a little differently from the Nidaxatha; where Nidaxath interacted primarily with the living, the Lanyaxath focused primarily on natural processes and events. Their specialization was a subject Jyevodirr had too little knowledge on.

  “Okay, little Nyuxis, listen to me.” Jyevodirr tried speaking much more gently now, having knelt down to the little boy’s height. Getting to know the name of a person humanized them a little. Moreover, the child also seemed to listen. He was reasonable.

  “I don't know why you asked me what you did,” Jyevodirr continued, “but I'll try to be as sincere as I can.

  See, the reason I got to live was because people love each other. Then I got to live because I was lucky. Love, especially, is a very strong thing, you know? I don't know what determines who lives or who dies, but I at least know what determines who is bad and who is not. If a person has no love within him, how can he be good? And if a person has abundant love within him, I can’t see that person being bad.

  I have a long time ahead of me. You can yourself be the judge of whether I am a good person or not by the way I live, okay? You are strong. If you ever think I am not good enough, you can come for me. But let me show you how I live my life first, right?”

  “You’ll become our new Kraturr,” the boy said lightly, looking straight into Jyevodirr's eyes.

  Jyevodirr felt chilled to the bone again, but he still forced it down.

  Understanding was the basis of everything good. He would have to try to understand.

  “Well, yes. So you will see how I get to live. You’ll hear about me and know my deeds just as you know things about me now. But where did you hear that I will be the next Kraturr?”

  The boy kept mum again.

  Jyevodirr could hazard a guess as to just how the boy seemed to know about him. The long, blank stared were telltale signs of that. So, he did not let the boy’s silence stop him.

  “Okay then, you can keep your secrets. But see, there’s more to everything than just the end, you know?”

  This time, the boy replied.

  “I know. What I don't know is why should everything just end?”

  Jyevodirr was stunned silent by the question. He was completely uncertain about how to answer this question. He had to think for a long while.

  Finally, he decided to give a completely honest, if flawed, answer. That was better than a half-baked one.

  “I don't know,” Jyevodirr said. “I’m also learning. If I ever find the answer, I’ll be sure to let you know somehow. But if you find the answer before me, that's even better right?”

  Silence settled thickly again as the little boy said nothing. He just looked at Jyevodirr, the initial disgust in his eyes having left a long time ago. Now, the only thing that marred the little boy's face was confusion. Finally, he voiced his thoughts again.

  “You know, you’re going to make the world strange. Bad, even. But you love the world so much! Why? I don't understand. You don’t seem like a bad person. So why does this have to happen?”

  Jyevodirr frowned.

  “I’ll make the world a bad place? There's no way I’d do that. If it comes down to that, I’m even going to give up on my dreams, you know? I will never do that!”

  Another long silence passed between the boy and the youth. Finally, the child dropped his gaze quietly and let out an adult’s sigh.

  “Maybe. I don't know. Maybe it’ll only happen when you die one day.”

  To be reminded of his mortality during a point in his journey when Jyevodirr was only setting out for his dreams made him somber. A serrated blade twisted itself into his guts and heart, a pain so sad he would gasp and curl up if he was alone.

  But Jyevodirr was not alone, and this kid saw things far beyond what Jyevodirr himself could. It was a very humbling moment for him.

  “Well, little Nyuxis, then I hope you will pick up my slack and save the world, then? Or, if you are old too, raise someone to do that in the next generation, yeah?” Jyevodirr smiled as brightly as he could.

  He hoped the child wouldn't be able to see his inner turmoil, but going by how deeply entrenched in the world of God this child was, there was little doubt he would be seen through.

  That was precisely why Jyevodirr tried his best. He stretched his smile to the point he was probably looking more goofy than serene. Jyevodirr couldn’t care for that. He tried his utmost best to think about the beauty of the world. To not only think but to feel it to his bones.

  Jyevodirr, so full of hope usually, now put his most sincere and dedicated effort to feel hope; the hope he wanted to feel this time was not meant for himself, but for all who would come after to see this same beautiful world after him.

  Jyevodirr wanted to convey his determination. He was determined to put his life on the line keeping every bit of the world within his upcoming dominion safe and beautiful.

  Nyuxis smiled a little finally. His childlike visage still seemed somewhat troubled – a little shaken, now that Jyevodirr was getting a closer look – but Jyevodirr found it comforting to believe that his hope had managed to reach the little boy.

  “That's all I wanted to know,” Nyuxis said, looking at Jyevodirr with his unwavering little eyes. Jyevodirr smiled back and ruffled the boy’s soft mop of hair.

  Just as he was about to get up and tell the little boy that he wanted to leave, Nyuxis caught his arm. It was a very soft grip, not even having a fraction of the strength Jyevodirr possessed. But it was strong enough. The world assisted the boy.

  “You may not be a bad person,” Nyuxis warned Jyevodirr, “But that does not mean all of you is good. Please keep your companion in check. He wants nothing more than to tear us all like windblown leaves.”

  Then, as suddenly as he had arrived, Nyuxis flashed Jyevodirr a boyish grin and ran away. Nyuxis was likely satisfied, if a little shaken, with what he had approached Jyevodirr for, so now he was going back to playing or mingling with children of his age. No matter the strength or the gift anyone possessed, children were children, unless they were forced to be adults.

  Jyevodirr shivered.

  It was quite cold outside, but that was not why he felt cold. He felt cold somewhere deeper within himself. The fiery furnace in him had been a blizzard this whole time. When the little boy left just now, it was easing up.

  This was such an alien phenomenon to Jyevodirr, he wanted to claw at himself and rip his heart and head out. The old feelings of having broken his father’s body came back to Jyevodirr with a vengeance, and everything in the world felt wrong.

  He felt wrong. He had to be wrong. Something very wrong. Very, very wrong….

  Amidst this unsettling feeling, a new voice baked in his head.

  ‘You cannot let go of your power, can you? Think! Fight!’

  An old man who he thought wasn't even that strong; an old man who he hadn't even met for that long – that's who that voice belonged to.

  Jyevodirr’s fond remembrance of old man Dogan dispelled all the fog creeping up on him with a strength he did not expect. The old man in his memory was the same as the one he had last seen a mere two days earlier. His long, dark hair, bound to an unruly mess of a low ponytail, was the same. So was his fierce, confident grin and the dark sun-goggles he most likely wore for the sake of style. His wrinkled face and beard that covered only his chin and upper lips moved naturally as he talked in Jyevodirr’s imagination, and his sharp, piercing gaze, which had been ever-present when he fought Jyevodirr, now struck as heavily on Jyevodirr’s unease as the old man’s hits had.

  Jyevodirr almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. It was so silly to him that memories of a random person cleared his mind – but still, Jyevodirr was grateful that it happened.

  With everything that had transpired with the strange little boy, Jyevodirr already had too much to think about. He did not need another problem to add to the list that needed solving.

  Jyevodirr looked around him, and finally realized that he was still outside the tuvudhan, staring at the oasis like an idiot who had lost his mind.

  People passing him by were giving him odd looks. Some even laughed. With the way Jyevodirr was acting, he looked no better than a drunkard who had drunk a little too much and was now either contemplating the meaning of life or was just ready to piss their own pants.

  Embarrassed with himself, Jyevodirr rushed back inside the tuvudhan he had been provided with to stay and sat down on one of the three little metal beds in there. He found himself relaxing a bit, so he tried to recall the recent conversation with little Nyuxis.

  The first and foremost thing that stuck out in his mind was the last bit the little boy had said. It was something about not all of him being good, and then about being careful about his companion. Which companion? It made little sense because what did some companion of his have to do with him not being a spotless person?

  There was also the matter of how the little boy had known all of these things, but it could be easily explained as a very strong connection to the world of God.

  From what Jyevodirr could guess, the little boy had a much deeper understanding of Mayyux than Jyevodirr did. The little boy’s connection was strong enough to maybe glimpse deeper into the true nature of things? Maybe that was why the little boy knew about what Jyevodirr wanted to be, along with other things that Jyevodirr did not know about himself?

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  But what had the boy meant by him making the world ‘bad’? This recurring idea in the little boy’s ramblings, could it have been related to the heat within Jyevodirr? And why was that heat, or whatever that thing within him is, acting so differently in the little boy’s presence?

  All these questions buzzed around Jyevodirr’s head like a swarm of flies that Jyevodirr couldn't shoo away no matter how hard he tried. Since he couldn't get rid of them, he therefore decided to bring all of these damned flies along and find the rest of his companions.

  Jyevodirr tumbled around the togazi, absently weaving around humans and beasts alike in search of his friends. Mostly, he ended up focusing on the questions wandering his head. At other times, when Jyevodirr remembered that he was out to find his companions and friends, he altered his course towards trees, bushes and tuvudhana he believed he knew. Meandering about the area like a long flowing river, Jyevodirr passed by his friends a few times without realizing it. Only by chance did he get an opportunity to discover them on his fourth loop through the area.

  When on his fourth pass by a tuvudhan belonging to a Vrr’yag’xath woman of some importance, Jyevodirr happened to remember that he was looking for his friends at the same time as a local woman he had befriended earlier called out to him. When he went up to her, she chatted with him a little, then when asked for where his friends were, she pointed to a large gathering of people encircling an uproarious performance. Sure enough, he could glimpse his friends and companions laughing with the crowd.

  The boisterous performance did not help Jyevodirr much with his mental situation. Questions still bombarded his mind. When he laughed with the crowd, it was more of an obligation than being something heartfelt. When the spectators listened with rapt attention to the story being told, Jyevodirr dived equally as deeply into the questions troubling him.

  Intricacies of the little boy had faded from his mind by this point of time. What troubled Jyevodirr were closer questions related to himself.

  Of course Jyevodirr knew that he was not all good. Who was?

  But was he honest? Was he truthful to the little boy? Would he really turn away from his own dreams if confronted by the dreadful embrace of weighty choices? Unlike how confidently Jyevodirr had answered little Nyuxis when confronted with the same question, there wasn’t any answer Jyevodirr confidently had for himself. If one didn’t live for their dreams and ambitions, what should they live for? If a life was to be lived without any wish being fulfilled, was that really living?

  Also, malice. It was something Jyevodirr did feel within himself. It was the thick black mud that fed him power; it was the heat that rose in his head, threatening to consume everyone and everything. Malice was that voice within him, which roared - ‘I am the strongest! Witness my strength and kneel! Death shall be your reward!’

  This violent power was the reason Jyevodirr learnt from an early age that strength was not the mere capacity for violence. There was so much more to strength than the capacity of tearing someone limb from limb.

  Was this what the little boy had been talking about? But what an odd choice of words little Nyuxis had for this part of him - A companion! Was his malice a companion? Jyevodirr did suppose so.

  Troubled by these thoughts, the night didn't pass easily for Jyevodirr. Other people noticed his discomfiture, but he wrapped the matter beneath a jovial facade and hid it away.

  Having dinner, talking with old and new acquaintances, socializing – Jyevodirr couldn't particularly focus on any of them. He went through the motions of all activities mechanically, not caring to gain or contribute anything. Moments were precious, but Jyevodirr’s condition simply didn’t allow him to assume control over those moments.

  The previous day ended and the new began one simultaneously after an infinity and within the blink of an eye. The morning hours were passing swiftly too.

  Rraos wanted to head further north that day towards the desert as soon as he could. But knowing Jyevodirr’s ambition and understanding that he may have his own plans, he asked the youth for his opinion. Jyevodirr, however, lacked any ambition that morning; whatever Rraos planned was the final word, and Jyevodirr did not propose anything of his own.

  Following a tense breakfast, the group began travelling just according to the plan. They would be visiting the northernmost unit mine of the region and then following the wagons north up to another oasis by the name Suxlang’.

  The silence as they walked was unusually tense, drawing a lot of glances towards Jyevodirr. R’vag, for one, had already given up on trying to get anything out of Jyevodirr, since his friend could be painfully stubborn with silences, and nothing could be pried from Jyevodirr’s mind until the time he was ready to speak. Rraos, however, was not ready for such a silly behavior.

  “Oh for the Gods’ sake, Jyevodirr, how long do you plan on moping around? Are you not an adult who can speak? Where has that mouth you ran so impetuously back so many days ago at Orron now hidden itself?”

  Jyevodirr looked at Rraos with a completely serene smile - the same kind that Rraos had directed towards Jyevodirr when the Arroxath youth had rejected Jyevodirr’s request for a meal.

  “Oh no, I’m not moping, theyi. I’m thinking.”

  Rraos wanted to pour vitriol over that answer, but he refrained.

  “And what are you thinking?”

  “Nothing much.”

  Rraos’ palm moved to slap Jyevodirr faster than Rraos could think the first thought following Jyevodirr’s answer. The deed done, Rraos looked at his hand in surprise.

  R’vag exploded with mirth, but Jyevodirr only gave a small, artificial smile and stayed silent.

  Another few minutes of silence followed. Then, it was Naxa who decided to end this charade for good.

  “I heard from someone that you had been talking to a Lanyaxath boy,” Naxa casually spoke up. “What was his name again?”

  Jyevodirr’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, but the crack in his neutral mask was an immediately noticeable one. He still did not reply.

  “Ah yes,” Naxa kept up her barrage, “It was Nyuxis, I believe?”

  Kargos quickly held her hand from behind. She understood his message immediately.

  The couple had not known these people for too long. They did not quite get along very well either. They had not come here of their own accord. The only person at Kirran who had really seemed to have taken a liking to these people, and to Jyevodirr in particular, had been old man Dogan. They were here only because old man Dogan had specifically told them to be here with this dubious group of people.

  For that reason, there was absolutely no point in sticking up their necks for such people. Only yesterday morning their life had been threatened by these people. While it was not the way of the Empire to hold grudges over matters that could be peacefully solved, human hearts were not so easily forgiving.

  Naxa understood all that. Yet, she wanted to try. She wanted to live by the spirit of hope that Kargos had imparted upon her. Though Kargos always thought that she was the one who made him strive to be better, he didn’t realize that Naxa was not as perfect as he perceived her to be. She only tried to be the best she could be. She tried to be the reflection of herself she saw in Kargos’ eyes.

  So, Naxa smiled at Kargos, put her palm on his cheek affectionately, then turned back to Jyevodirr.

  “I have heard a little about this Nyuxis kid,” she continued. “I have heard that he is eerie. But I didn’t think that is true. He looked like just any other kid to me. I mean, I thought that he is just a little boy with an unnatural amount of power. God touched, as they say.

  But you know, I have also witnessed how strong you are. Unless you are touched by God, you can never have that kind of power. Only the Kraturr or some other monstrously powerful individual should have something beyond what you have, and even that I cannot be sure about because I have never personally witnessed your full capacity, nor have I ever seen the Kraturr in person. There is no scale I have that I can use to compare people like you.

  So tell me now, was that little boy so fearsome that he shook you as well? What even happened between the two of you that seemingly shut you down?”

  Jyevodirr exhaled a long sigh. That breath, which had burst out from his chest, ripped to pieces the dam that had been holding back every thought, every worry from spilling out of him into the world.

  “I don’t know what to say, Qin Naxa. The whole thing was such a strange experience. He asked me some questions. Strange questions.”

  Before Jyevodirr could continue, Rraos, who had lit a cigarette habitually, interrupted with his own question.

  “What strange questions do you mean?”

  Though the people asking him questions were Rraos and Naxa, Jyevodirr looked at R’vag first. Jyevodirr’s frown and the downward turn of his mouth deepened even before he began speaking.

  “R’vag, you have known me for a long, long time. What do you think I would do if I had to choose between helping everyone by abandoning my dreams or making things worse by following my dreams?”

  R’vag’s scowl mirrored Jyevodirr’s.

  “What the fuck kind of question is that?”

  “That’s exactly what the kid asked me.” Jyevodirr answered.

  Now, all the faces in the group pulled expressions of disbelief smattered with various degrees of outrage. R’vag’s face had the greatest amount of the latter.

  “Wow! That kid should thank the Gods that you didn’t tell me anything before. I would have absolutely beaten the evil out of the kid, theyi!” R’vag’s answer was impassioned.

  Jyevodirr’s reply to his friend was calmer and marred by troubled.

  “I doubt you could have done that. He was strong. Stronger than you, me, old man Dogan, or even any beast or human we had ever met during our life, brother.”

  R’vag’s was left agape by Jyevodirr’s answer. He had never, ever heard Jyevodirr claim anyone to be outright stronger. Not after running away from the hoard of wild dogs, not after the beatdown from old man Dogan, and not even after their little scuffle at the Arroxath Estate had he done that.

  While the others were not privy to this knowledge, they still had a hard time imagining some child stronger than Jyevodirr.

  “So,” Jyevodirr, now having spoken of his troubles, kept going, “as I was saying - I am not sulking. I’m only thinking.

  The thing about that kid is that I promised him to be a good person. But I don’t know if I’m one. I even told him that I would let go of my dream if I was ever faced with such a situation. But I don’t know if what I said was the truth or not.”

  Jyevodirr suddenly chortled in between his little outpouring.

  “I’m also embarrassed, you know? I spoke a lot about love. Wow! I seriously sounded like you for some time, R’vag!”

  Having laughed off his amusement, Jyevodirr continued to speak, his voice just loud enough to be audible above the gentle, occasional swish of air.

  “I don’t think the kid was sick, or malicious, or anything like that. He was just as frustrated as I was. Yeah – that’s what we were. Frustrated.

  And I don’t know if the little boy is stronger than me, or if he is a better person than me. But he must be something, because despite everything, I could not help but hate him a little. I hated that little shit for shaking me up like that. I hated feeling so…. powerless. Not powerless in a violent way, R’vag – I feel I could still win in a fight. He is a kid, you know? How many times has he even had the chance to fight strong adults?

  No, theyi. The way I felt powerless yesterday was different. I felt powerless in the same way I felt powerless when I saw my father that day, broken like that.”

  “Did something happen to your father?” Naxa interrupted.

  “Well,” Jyevodirr flinched, “when I was a kid, I unintentionally – or maybe intentionally – almost killed my father. Broke too many of his bones. It was so bad that it was a miracle, or maybe even a curse, that he survived. He didn’t live a very long life anyways. I mean, he’s dead now.

  My mom is all I have, but she sent me out to keep the promise I made her.”

  “Oh.”

  That was all Naxa could say. When Jyevodirr talked about his father, she thought the youth had seen him dying, or maybe just injured. She could not have imagined that boy had such a story, judging by how aware of himself he seemed to be. But maybe, that was precisely why he had such a grounded personality despite his strength.

  “Yeah”, Jyevodirr spoke again without a hint of a smile, “That had really been something I never wanted to feel again, and so I had worked really, really hard. That little shit’s questions just brought those feelings back.”

  Jyevodirr then sighed and let go of the heat he had unknowingly been increasing.

  “But I don’t think his words were meaningless. I can see things a little differently, so I know. He could probably see all of what he said and asked in me. At that time, I thought that he didn’t need to tell me all this just because he could see. But then, I’m also thankful he said all that because that lets me think about it. You know, just like old man Dogan advised.”

  For a long while after that, everyone was silent. Kargos wanted to say something because he felt a little conflicted, being both a little guilty and a little vindicated, but he too remained silent. Rraos smoked more, despite feeling fatigued due to smoking while walking through the desert. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts.

  R’vag spoke up at one point of time when no one expected anyone to break the silence. He slung his thick, muscled arm over the shorter Jyevodirr’s shoulders, and he spoke with a smile.

  “I can give you an answer, brother.”

  Jyevodirr looked at R’vag quizzically; R’vag answered the question in Jyevodirr’s eyes.

  “I’m talking about the make-believe nonsense situation, theyi! As certainly as I believe in love, as certainly as I love strong ladies, that is how certainly you will neither throw away your dreams and promises to your mom, nor make things worse for anyone. I know you. As stupid a goat as you are, you will make a miracle happen. I’m sure about that!”

  Jyevodirr’s brain sloshed with incredulity. A million refutations lit up like the stars in a moonless sky. But like the coming of the sun, the stars of doubts were chased away by the warmth Jyevodirr felt blooming in his heart. R’vag’s was not a practical answer, but it was such a beautiful one that Jyevodirr found himself earnestly wishing for it to be true.

  Not only Jyevodirr, everyone who had listened to Jyevodirr’s tale of gloom suddenly felt like the sun had come up in the sky on a winter day to chase the darkness and the cold away. Smiles bloomed in their midst like flowers in the first month of storm showers in Moyegan.

  “I bet I’m more magical than your friend,” Kargos finally broke his silence. “See, I bagged for myself a goddess!”

  Kargos kissed Naxa amidst the returning laughter, even as Rraos felt himself blushing again.

  “Sacrilege!” Rraos cried, only half joking about it.

  Soon, the cares of the future and the past were forgotten, and a merry group reached the mines together. They did not know how long it had taken them to reach their desired location from the Vrr’xota Oasis, but it did not feel like too long a period of time had passed.

  The group adjusted their heavy packs and walked around the mines again like they had the previous day. This time, however, they did not intend to return back to Vrr’xota again.

  Everything was as expected. The questions asked and the answers given were familiar ones.

  The fun and the burst of hope earlier had already torn Jyevodirr away from the future, and from those childish, troubled eyes. But now, the familiarity and mundaneness grounded him to the present completely, just as Nyuxis’ return to his games and fun filled days worked for the little Lanyaxath boy the day before.

  Jyevodirr was at peace again. He quietly listened in as Rraos talked with another person in charge of another unit.

  “How many wagons?”

  “Around thirty.”

  “How much sand?”

  “Around 600 tanks.”

  “Are the regulations being followed?”

  “Of course.”

  “Where have the wagons gone?”

  “To An’doxa, the city of the Vrr’yag’xath.”