Lovu

  Lovu and Topal reached the forest just after noon.

  As she said, her prayer to Kumam stopped them from leaving footprints. It was like they were walking on water that shifted in their path but reclaimed its original form as they passed. Lovu was torn between marveling at it and dreading the energy he felt envelope him with every step. Luckily, very shortly after departing the lone hill, the exhaustion set back in and his mind fell back into survival mode as he stopped thinking about anything other than moving forward.

  “Let’s find somewhere to set up camp,” Topal said as they made it deep enough into the trees to be completely hidden from the fields. “We’ll spend the rest of today resting then keep moving in the morning.” They hadn’t spoken a single word since their argument, so her voice was like glass shattering in the silence.

  Lovu had no clue what made a good campground over a bad one, so he followed her lead, trudging through the path she carved in the undergrowth. She skipped over several promising places until they reached a small clearing with significantly less brush, an opening in the canopy above, and a fallen tree trunk.

  “Here,” she said, moving some of the fallen limbs to clear space to sit.

  “Thank you so much for-” As soon as she made enough room for herself, she sat down and leaned back against the tree, pointedly glaring at him. Suddenly, the weight from before was back. It wasn’t as bad as before, but her look held all the resentment it needed to. He shook it off and followed her lead to clear his own space. Just like before, as soon as he was off of his legs, his entire body screamed out in pain and his eyelids felt heavy.

  “Is it okay for me to sleep here?” he asked carefully.

  “Should be,” she said flatly. “I’ll keep an eye out. In a couple hours I’ll start looking for food, but you’ll be fine until then.”

  “Thank you very much,” he said, taking off his cloak and balling it up into a pillow.

  “Don’t thank me,” she bristled again. “It’s a job, not a favor.”

  He tried to find a response, but his mind was far too cloudy. Resigned to the tension, he laid down and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

  When Lovu awoke, the sun was low in the sky and his body somehow felt even worse. All of the tired aches had turned into sharp stiffness that spiked whenever he moved. His head was pounding and felt like it weighed a ton. His “rest” had been heavy with dreams of those same four awful sounds – thud, clatter, tear, crunch. It was the single worst nap he had ever taken, but as his eyes opened and he felt the cool grass beneath him, he couldn’t help but smile.

  Pushing himself upright and stretching through the pain, he found Topal on the opposite side of the fallen tree, sitting beside a small fire. She was turned away from him, hunched over something he couldn’t see.

  “Good… evening Topal,” he said, awkwardly kicking his way over the fallen tree, although his long flowing robes got caught on every snag possible.

  She didn’t respond, but he could see her hands working and heard wet ripping sounds. Peaking his head around, he immediately regretted it as he saw her plunge her hand into the open guts of a small, furry creature. It returned moments later, covered in blood and gripping a mess of… things that Lovu didn’t want to think about.

  “Ah…” he said, averting his eyes. “I-is that the food you mentioned finding earlier?”

  “It is,” she said, her statement punctuated by another wet rip.

  “Excellent,” he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. He hoped to strike up conversation to ease the tension, but his words hung heavy in the air with no response. “I know you caught that on your own, but is there any chance I could have some?”

  The sounds of butchering stopped, and he risked a glance back in her direction. She was looking at him with a puzzled furrow in her brow until she sighed and turned back to the poor creature before her.

  “Of course you can. You’re no good to me dead and I doubt you’d be able to catch anything on your own.”

  “Thank you so-”

  “Don’t thank me,” she said sternly. “It’s part of the job. I don’t need gratitude.”

  This time it was his turn to look at her in confusion. “Perhaps you don’t, but I want to offer it anyway. You keep saying that this is a job and I do intend to reward you for it, but you don’t need to be doing any of this for me and yet here you are. I appreciate it all, nonetheless.”

  She didn’t say anything, but unlike before, he felt no pressure coming from her.

  “I… am sorry for what I said earlier. About your life,” he said awkwardly, pausing on each word as he stretched to find the next. “I forgot what Fam’e said about students and teachers and presumed to know your life well enough to teach you about it. That was a mistake and I feel bad for hurting you. You have clearly experienced things that I… don’t understand, and if you are willing to teach me, I would love to hear the truths you know that I cannot.”

  Without thinking, his mind wandered into prayer, phrasing his thoughts the way he would when giving a sermon or speaking to Fam’e. It felt odd once he finished and he worried that he might upset her again, but Topal just looked at him plainly.

  “What the fuck is your deal?” she asked bluntly, setting down the bloody knife and turning to face him directly. Her harsh language caught him off guard, but it didn’t seem to come from anger. He recalled her asking something similar last night at the bar and he was just as confused by the question as back then.

  “I’m sorry, I do not understand what you mean?”

  “I’m just trying to figure out what you need,” she said before realizing that didn’t make things any clearer. “Fuck, I just don’t know how to read you. Most of the time you sound like a stupid kid despite clearly being full grown. Sometimes, you seem halfway decent, but then in the next breath you say things that sounds exactly like every other rich piece of shit. I don’t get it.”

  “I’m… sorry,” he said carefully. “I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with… people like me, but it shouldn’t have anything to do with money. I’m sure there are merchants and Lords who use their wealth irresponsibly, but nearly all that I know are generous and kind. After all, Fam’e tells us to-”

  “See!” she said, cutting him off mid thought. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You people constantly moan and jerk yourselves off over generosity, talking about Fam’e this and Fam’e that while passing money around between each other.”

  “What do you mean? I know many people – my own family included – who make regular donations to the temple. That money goes directly to programs that help the poor, sick, and disadvantaged. There’s no… jerking off involved.”

  “Exactly like that!” she exclaimed, pointing straight in his face like he was an exotic beast. “That money goes straight into the pockets of the High Advocate and his lackeys, but you use it like a shield anyway.”

  “No,” he said confidently. “I do not know much of your life and experiences, but there are few more acquainted with the inner working of the temple than I am. The High Advocate receives a stipend from the crown to meet his living expenses. He does allocate donations to different temples depending on their specific needs, but at no point do they belong to him and they go directly back to the people of Hangkiti.”

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  That was standard procedure. During Lovu’s early days of studying to be an Advocate, before he had permission to leave the Residence, he had pored over everything he could related to Fam’e and the temple. That included the temple’s original charter laid out by the First Advocate Hikim. It detailed the roles and duties of the High Advocate, what they were and weren’t allowed to do, and how the temple should structure its hierarchy. It went into great detail about the chain of possession for donations, so there was no way for anyone to interrupt that process for personal enrichment.

  “Really?” Topal asked with a condescending glare. “You said you knew more about the temple than just about anyone else, but did you ever actually take part in that ‘distribution?’ Because no temple I’ve ever seen is just giving things out for free.”

  His chest deflated as he considered that question. He offered to help the High Advocate with triage and assessing which areas were in most need on many occasions, but much like Fitmi, the High Advocate took great pride in his work and rarely delegated it to others.

  “I… there were many things I wasn’t able to do because of my position as prince, but that doesn’t change anything. The charter is very clear.”

  “Okay, cool,” she said with a smug grin, visible in her eyes even with her mouth covered. “Well, you asked me to teach you the about the truths I know that you don’t so here’s the first: that isn’t how the temple works. I don’t care about any charter and I don’t think most Advocates do either. They’re just like merchants. They have written laws and rules, but none of them matter. Whoever has more power in a given situation makes up whatever rules they want, and everyone else has to follow them. That’s the truth.”

  That’s not how any of this works. The First Advocate was very clear and his thoughts on Fam’e’s path are heavily documented. There is no way an Advocate could get it that mixed up. Unless…

  “So you’re saying that the temples you know do not offer healing, food, and shelter for those in need?” he asked, carefully trying to unravel what was happening.

  “They do offer them, but not in a way that matters. They’ll feed you and give you a place to stay if you’re really desperate, but they work you like a slave to earn it and they’re worse than what you can get for the same effort anywhere else. And sure, they offer prayers and medicine to the sick, but only if you’re able to pay a year’s wages for a single round of treatment.”

  “Thay are charging for healing?” Lovu asked in disbelief, as his heart fluttered and he felt faint. The charter directly forbid requesting compensation for rituals and prayers. “Is that why Kut hadn’t gotten any help for her rotpot?”

  “Now you’re getting it.”

  “I am so sorry that you have had to experience that,” he said gravely as his mind raced. “Which temples specifically charge for their services?”

  “All of them, as far as I know.”

  “No, I mean which ones have you personally seen do that? I hate to admit it, but it’s possible that seeds of corruption have bloomed in Fam’e’s flock. There is no way it has happened everywhere, but if certain temples have been compromised, I will see to it personally that the problem is rectified.”

  This time it was Topal’s turn to balk. “From what I’ve heard every temple charges, but I’ve only ever personally visited the Kumep Ya temple near where we met.”

  “Then I’ll start my investigation there,” he said, making a mental note to investigate her claims as soon as everything returned to normal… His heart sank as he considered whether he would ever actually have that chance given the circumstances, but he only let it darken his mood for a moment.

  Fam’e is good. I don’t know why all of this is happening, but she will prevail in the end. It will just take time…

  “You… really believe that don’t you?” Topal said, snapping him out of his thoughts. For a moment, he thought she may have read his thoughts before remembering what he had just said.

  “Is there a reason I shouldn’t believe you?”

  “No, I mean you really believe that the temple’s corruption is just a mistake. I’ve made sure to steer clear of Advocates in the past, but every single one I’ve had the displeasure of meeting has said the same things as you. This is my first time hearing it where it actually seems genuine…” As she faded into thought, her eyes opened in realization. “I think I figured out your deal.”

  “I am glad to have helped you find an answer. May I ask what it is?”

  “You’re an idiot.” Her voice didn’t have an ounce of malice, but her words still cut deep.

  “That… feels uncalled for,” he said, unable to hide the hurt.

  “There are worse things to be,” she shrugged, turning back to the half-butchered animal.

  Lovu personally felt like they had just talked in circles, but at least the tension had dissolved. Personally, he still wanted to ask for more details about her experience with other Advocates, but opening his mouth again felt like too big a risk.

  Without him distracting her, Topal quickly finished cleaning the animal. Once it was in pieces, Lovu was finally able to put a name to it – a kohi. They had fat haunches nearly twice the length of their torso when fully extended. They were a core dish of almost every feast held in the Lords’ Residence, although he had never seen one uncooked, let alone alive.

  Suddenly, her calling him an idiot made a bit more sense.

  He watched in awe as she skewered the limbs on sharpened sticks and stuck them in the dirt so they were held diagonally over the fire. The smell alone was enough to make his mouth water and he couldn’t help but fidget in anticipation as he watched the meat darken and shrink. Liquid fat leaked from under the skin, dripping down into the fire. With every hiss, Lovu could feel the pangs in his stomach grow stronger. By the time the sun finished setting, it was ready.

  She carefully pulled one of the fat legs from the flames and passed it to Lovu, taking the other for herself and tucking it under her scarf to start eating immediately. He had been waiting for her to serve herself before he started praying, but he realized then that she wasn’t going to participate. So, he closed his eyes and opened his heart.

  “Fam’e, thank you for offering your sister’s bounty to us in these trying times. With this blessing, we shall fill our bodies so that we may feel your love and confront tomorrow’s challenges with vigor anew.”

  With practiced patience, he didn’t show even an ounce of eagerness for the meal until those final words passed his lips. But as soon as he finished, he ate just as voraciously as Topal. When he eventually finished the leg she had given him, his stomach was still eager for more. Normally, that would be enough to almost fill him up entirely, but his body craved more.

  “Would it be alright if I took another?” he asked, pointing to one of the smaller front limbs, but Topal only scowled at him.

  “Don’t be greedy. Finish that one first,” she said. While there were scraps of meat tucked into the tight spaces between some of the bones, he thought he was finished. His confusion must have been clear, because she reached over and took the bone from him. It disappeared beneath the scarf as she meticulously stripped each and every scrap that he had overlooked, even eating the cartilage and fat. Once it was completely clean, she cracked open the little bones to suck out the brown paste inside. It would have been impressive if Lovu hadn’t found it so off-putting. In his mind, she was eating table scraps.

  “You don’t have the luxury of waste anymore. Food is energy and energy gets you one step closer to safety,” she said, pulling one of the smaller limbs from the fire and passing it to him. “You better figure that out quick.”

  “I… I will,” he said, setting in on his second portion. By the time he got down to those final scraps, his stomach was finally reaching its limit. He pulled off every small piece of meat possible, but the fat was too chewy and the crunch of the cartilage set his stomach churning. As if expecting that, Topal snatched it away from him with a disappointed look.

  “At least try the marrow,” she said, snapping the bone in half and passing it back to him.

  Reluctantly, he took the shards and looked at the dark paste inside. Taking a few moments to hype himself up, he wrapped his mouth around it and sucked. A rush of creamy, meaty taste filled his mouth. It was intense and rich. To his surprise, he actually found the room in his stomach to happily slurp down the rest.

  “There you go. That’s the spirit,” Topal said.

  All that was left was the kohi’s short, wide head. He half expected her to pick away at it too, but instead she took the stick it had been roasting on and flipped it into the dwindling flames. The instant she let go of the stick, the whole thing erupted, creating a pillar of light. The reaction was so sudden and violent that Lovu actually flinched back in shock. In seconds, the entire thing had turned to ash and mingled with the rest of the embers.

  “Is that normal?” he asked carefully, but her unbothered face answered him before she even opened her mouth.

  “It’s just an offering to keep us safe,” she said flatly.

  Her answer didn’t mention who exactly it was an offering to, but it wasn’t hard to figure out. His skin crawled as he felt the shadows cast by the fire close in on them like beasts of prey, ready to strike them down. When he looked around, they snapped back into the trees, but it didn’t get rid of the presence he felt around them now.

  “Oh, calm down,” she said. “I do this every time I hunt and it’s only ever helped.”

  “I…” Lovu wanted to chastise her but wasn’t eager to reopen that wound so soon after sealing it. After all, she knew how to survive out here better than he ever could. They were deep in Kumam’s territory now, so as much as she wasn’t a positive influence in the city, appeasing her in her home may be a necessary evil. He could ask more about the details and reasons later, but for now… “I trust you.”

  “Good. That trust’ll keep you alive,” she said, scooting over to lean against the fallen tree and pull the hood of her cloak up. “Now get some rest. We move as soon as there’s light.”

  Following her lead, he cleared out enough space in the grass to lay down and fell asleep immediately.