Deciding that looking human was the best I could do for my appearance, I set off for the Arena. When it came into view, I saw that the entire inside of the stadium had been transformed. Booths had been set up and demonstrations were already taking place. Surveying the scene, my eyes landed on two guys sparring—Erik and Henri. I smiled wistfully. I loved watching them fight, but it made me a little sad, too. I should be out there, I should be with them. Instead, I was here, chasing an apparition and praying that I didn’t drop to the ground, convulsing at any moment.

  I wanted to say hi to Henri, but there would be time for that later. He was busy now, so instead, I sought out Penny. I found her sitting at a booth with several portable computers. She had a small group of students clustered around her table, and she was explaining the role that Cryptos played in the Agency, in the broadest terms possible. She glanced up, and smiled when she saw me approaching. I waited patiently for her to finish her spiel.

  “Hey, there.” She beamed once the students had dispersed. “How are you feeling this afternoon?”

  “Pretty good,” I replied truthfully. Physically, at least, I felt better than I had in days. Emotionally, I felt raw and unstable after Erik’s impromptu visit. When we’d actually been together, I’d been able to forget my predicament and what I’d done to Ernest. As soon as he’d left, the cruel reality that I now lived in had returned.

  “Good.” She smiled. “Want to take a seat and help me out?”

  “I don’t know. I barely understand what you do,” I teased.

  “You can just sit here and do what you do best.” She paused. “Stare at people all creepy-like so that I don’t have to keep explaining things to kids who don’t understand and don’t care.” I rolled my eyes, but Penny did have a point. My penetrating purple eyes tended to make others uncomfortable, not to mention the power that Mac said radiated off of me. Those were among the many reasons my friends were few and far between.

  “I can do that,” I replied, pulling out the chair next to Penny and taking a seat.

  Over the next several hours, despite my best efforts, quite a few students stopped by to listen to her presentation. Sitting there with Penny, I felt normal for the first time since Nevada. Talking about boys and gossiping about Instructors and the other Operatives we’d both known from when we were in school, I felt like myself.

  “Hey ladies,” Donavon called as he approached our table. I gave him a genuine smile. Seeing Erik had brought on a whole host of emotions I wasn’t ready to deal with, but I liked the point that Donavon and I had reached, and I wasn’t ready to let it go. To my surprise, he bent over and planted a kiss on my cheek and—even more shockingly—I found my smile growing larger.

  “Captain Alvarez is hosting a dinner tonight and it’s my privilege to extend an invitation to both of you.”

  Captain Alvarez was the leader of the Hunters, and usually accompanied his Operatives to the Career Fair.

  “He’s here? Have you seen him?” I asked.

  “He is, over at the booth with the Hunters,” Donavan answered.

  I turned to Penny. “If you can manage on your own, I think I’ll go say hi.”

  “I’m sure I’ll get by,” she replied dryly.

  “Come and get ready for dinner with me?” I asked.

  “Will do.” Penny’s eyes sparkled at the prospect of dressing up for a formal occasion. I could practically see the cogs in her brain working double-time as she debated how to accessorize me for the night’s festivities.

  I stood and began making my way through the crowd, towards an area where a large group had congregated to watch the current exhibition. Donavon fell in step beside me.

  “Why was Erik in your room this morning?” he demanded. I gave him a sharp look.

  “How did you know that he was in my room this morning?” I retorted.

  “You just told me,” he shot back, outraged.

  “What!?!” I was in no mood for games.

  “I was on my way to see you this morning when I saw him leaving the Instructor housing,” he explained.

  “And you just assumed that meant he was with me?” I snapped, my own temper flaring. Erik had been there with me, but I didn’t appreciate Donavon’s accusatory tone. I was so angry that I reached out, and retrieved the memory from Donavon’s mind, and watched it from his perspective.

  Donavon opened the front door to Instructor housing to see Erik bounding down the stairs.

  “McDonough, good to see you,” Erik said, extending his hand in a seemingly inviting gesture. Donavon stared down at his hand, but refused to take it.

  “I would’ve thought that you’d be in better accommodations than us lowly Instructors,” Donavon replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

  “Yeah, I’m actually staying in guest housing.” Erik laughed easily. “I just wanted to stop by and see a friend.”

  “Were you with Talia?” Donavon asked bluntly.

  Erik appeared non-phased, his turquoise eyes twinkling mischievously. He gave Donavon a wide, white-toothed grin. “Gentleman never tells, man,” he said, his tone suggestive.

  “Talia, stay out of my head,” Donavon chastised me, bringing me back to the present.

  “Look, Donavon, Erik was in my room this morning. We ate breakfast. That was it,” I replied defensively, unsure why I felt the need to justify my actions to him. Obviously, I also left out the part where I’d climbed into Erik’s lap and let him hold me. Or the part where I’d been so reluctant to let him leave that I’d contemplated begging him to stay.

  “I don’t think that you should be entertaining guys in your room,” Donavon replied flatly.

  “And I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I snapped aloud. Picking up my pace, I left Donavon behind, and staring after me. I wasn’t stupid. I knew why he was upset. At one time, I would’ve been desperate for just this type of reaction out of him. Now, instead of feeling special, I just felt annoyed. He had no right to be upset about Erik. Donavon and I were barely friends again, let alone anything more. Yet, even as my anger propelled me farther away from him, I recalled all of the nice things that he’d done for me over the last couple of days.

  I finally arrived at the Hunter’s booth. I joined the crowd and watched as two well-muscled guys circled each other. One was extremely tall and lean with light brown hair and warm brown eyes. The other was shorter and more defined, his nearly-black hair held back from his face with a navy bandana, his turquoise eyes shining with excitement. Both were dressed in loose pants and fitted sleeveless shirts.

  Glancing around, I realized that over half of the gathered crowd was female. I couldn’t say that I blamed them; Erik and Henri were both beautiful, and when they’re in action, they were mesmerizing. Surprisingly, Cadence was one of the females in attendance. Sidling up next to her, I attempted conversation.

  “They’re really amazing to watch, aren’t they?” I said to her. Cadence spared me a glance out of the corner of her beady eye.

  “I suppose so,” she admitted grudgingly, like it pained her to agree with me.

  “Those two are my teammates,” I replied proudly.

  “Used to be, you mean,” she retorted.

  “Excuse me?” I said, taken aback by her open hostility.

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  “They used to be your teammates. Since you failed your solo mission, you aren’t a Hunter, and they aren’t your teammates,” she said slowly, enunciating each word.

  Witch, I wanted to scream. She was a horrible, horrible wench. It took every ounce of my self-control to not punch her. Fuming, I turned my attention back to the boys.

  The two guys circled each other, making small jabs and kicks as the crowd cheered. Henri’s arm span was so vast that he had a terrific advantage over Erik, but Erik was extremely agile. Henri caught Erik in the shoulder with a hard kick, causing Erik to stumble slightly. Without missing a beat, he jumped straight up, both feet leaving the ground, tucked his knees up into his chest, and struck out. Both of his feet made contact with Henri’s chest, which Erik used to push off of and flipped his feet over his head. He landed neatly on the balls of his feet.

  Henri fell over backwards, catching himself on his hands before hitting the ground. In one fluid motion, he pushed off and flew back at Erik, feet first. He landed in a crouch and swept his leg out in a wide arc, attempting to trip Erik, who did a standing flip to avoid his leg.

  “It almost looks like a dance they choreographed, huh?” a voice said in my ear. I let out a startled yelp.

  “Hello, Captain.” I smiled, looking up into the dark features of Captain Alvarez.

  “It’s great to see you, Lyons,” he said sincerely. “How are you feeling?” His dark brown eyes were narrowed in concern.

  “Pretty good, actually,” I replied.

  “We have the top Medicals working on an antidote,” he promised.

  “I know,” I muttered, looking at the ground.

  “We’ll get you back out there before you know it. Besides, those two need you.” He gestured to where Erik and Henri were now flying through the air to the delighted oohs and ahhs of the crowd.

  Glancing at Cadence and seeing her annoyance at Captain Alvarez paying attention to me gave me way more satisfaction than it should have.

  “Thanks. I really want that, too.” As I said it, I realized for the first time that I wasn’t entirely sure that I did. I had desperately missed the Hunt throughout my long recovery, but for some reason I now felt reluctance at the prospect of rejoining the Hunters.

  “Will I see you at the dinner this evening?” he asked hopefully.

  “Of course. I’m looking forward to it,” I answered honestly.

  Captain Alvarez smiled, giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze, then walked back to where Erik and Henri were still sparring. I watched as Captain Alvarez called the session to an end, and the crowd responded with a chorus of “boo’s”. He announced that if anyone wanted to see more and get a chance to go one-on-one with a Hunter, they should sign up for the small group demonstrations that would take place over the next two days.

  “You were invited to the dinner?” Cadence asked, outraged.

  “Of course, I was,” I retorted angrily. I’d had more of her attitude than I could take in one day.

  “Why?” she demanded. “I wasn’t.”

  “I guess you’ll have to ask Captain Alvarez since he’s the one who invited me. Or you can ask Mac since he’s been taking me to this dinner since I was eleven,” I shot back. I immediately regretted losing my temper. I was supposed to be gaining this girl’s confidence instead of purposely baiting her. It was no wonder that she hated me. Without so much as a reply, Cadence stalked off.

  Feeling suddenly exhausted, I, too, turned to leave—the day’s events had worn me out. I made it several feet before two sets of slick, sweaty arms encircled me. Erik and Henri were both beaming.

  “You guys smell.” I wrinkled my nose.

  “Every girl here is wishing that she were you right now.” Erik laughed. He was right; many of the girls who’d congregated for the show were now glaring at me jealously.

  “Only because they don’t know you two like I do,” I groaned.

  “Haven’t you missed us even a little?” Henri asked, sticking his lower lip out in a mock pout.

  “Maybe this much.” I held up my thumb and forefinger, indicating a space that only an ant could fit through. Smiling, I hugged Henri again, his sweaty shirt damp against my face. The truth was I’d missed them both more than I could ever express.

  “If you two will excuse me, I need to shower again before dinner.” I rolled my eyes and pretended to wipe their sweat off my face. Giving them a small wave, I turned to go. Erik grabbed my wrist.

  “Can I walk you back to your room?” he asked, his voice light.

  “I have to go to Medical first,” I responded.

  “Okay. Can I walk you to Medical and then back to your room?”

  I looked at him for a long minute before finally nodding. After Donavon’s earlier outrage, I didn’t want to rock the boat, but he wasn’t my boyfriend and had no right to be upset.

  We walked for several minutes in silence.

  “Please don’t provoke Donavon,” I finally said, trying to fill the awkward silence.

  “Provoke? Me?” Erik feigned a look of shocked innocence. I rolled my eyes.

  “Why are you dating him again?” he demanded. When my eyes met his, I saw more hurt than anger in the turquoise depths.

  “We aren’t dating,” I said quickly.

  Erik raised his eyebrows, but didn’t comment. Silence fell between us, yet I felt surprisingly at ease; Erik’s demeanor had changed at my reassurance that Donavon and I weren’t a couple. All of the awkwardness dissipated, and I felt comfortable. For a brief minute, it was just like we were back at the Elite Headquarters and Nevada had never happened.

  The Medical building came into view and the reality of my situation came rushing back: the shots, the seizures, the spy. The stability that I’d finally established after my parents’ deaths was gone. My desire for revenge against the man who’d ordered my parents’ deaths wasn’t the driving force it used to be. I still believed that Ian Crane had something to do with their murders; I just wasn’t sure that it was all so black and white anymore.

  “Why so serious?” Erik’s mental voice filled my head, interrupting my thoughts.

  “I just want everything to go back to the way it was,” I sent back.

  “We’re going to get this all worked out.” He reached over and squeezed my hand affectionately, holding it for just a second longer than necessary as we entered the big sterile building that was Medical.

  “Want me to come back with you?” he asked. I stared at him a minute, wondering if he was serious. He was.

  “No, thanks. I’m a big girl and I’ve gotten pretty used to the shots.” I smiled, touched by his offer. Erik nodded and took a seat in one of the white plastic chairs across from where the receptionist sat behind a huge white and chrome desk.

  “Natalia, Dr. Thistler is expecting you. You can come on back,” the receptionist said, giving me a small smile. I nodded and made my way to the swinging doors that led into the heart of the facility.

  “Back in a second,” I told Erik without turning around to look at him. I caught the receptionist sneaking glances in his direction as I disappeared through the doors.

  I found the designated room, and it wasn’t long before Dr. Thistler appeared. She quickly worked through the familiar routine of checking my vitals and taking a vial of my own blood, then injecting me with the equalizing agent. As she worked, she asked me the same series of questions that she always did: “How was I feeling? Did anything out of the ordinary happen today? What had I eaten? How was I sleeping?” My answers were basically the same as they’d been every day for the past nine months.

  “All set, Natalia. I will see you tomorrow,” she declared once she’d finished making notes on her ever present electronic pad.

  “Dr. Thistler?” I asked, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “How’s Ernest?” I was as eager for her answer as I was to experience another seizure.

  Now it was Dr. Thistler’s turn to pause. Her gray eyes studied me carefully before she finally answered. “He is responsive,” she said slowly, measuring her words.

  “Responsive?” I repeated.

  “Yes, he is aware of his surroundings.” She averted her eyes back down to her electronic tablet.

  “Oh, I see,” I said quietly.

  “I am sure that, in time, he will be good as new.” She smiled brightly, daring to tear her eyes away from the screen in the crook of her arm to meet mine.

  “Does he know who he is?” I blurted out. She shook her head sadly. It was exactly what I’d feared.

  “Natalia, this is always a risk with psychic interrogation. The Director never authorizes such an extreme step unless he feels it’s necessary,” she replied sternly.

  Necessary? I thought incredulously. It hadn’t been necessary. I should’ve tried harder to convince Mac that Ernest wasn’t capable of such treachery. I shouldn’t have pushed Ernest so hard in my interrogation. His current situation was my fault. Even the calming effects of the equalizing drug couldn’t suppress my rising panic.

  “Can I see him?” I asked.

  “No, darling, I don’t think that is a good idea,” she replied gently.

  Quickly, I swiped her mind. She feared how Ernest would react if he saw me; she worried that he might go into fits since I was the one who’d actually performed the interrogation.

  What had I done? I was a monster. Gretchen had once told me that this was a possibility, but I’d never before invaded another mind so completely that I’d ever been in jeopardy of eradicating all the memories and thoughts.

  Swallowing over the lump that had formed in my throat, I slid off the edge of the hospital bed and left.

  Erik walked me back to my room, thankfully having the good grace not to ask me what was wrong. I couldn’t stop thinking about Ernest. I felt responsible for what had happened. Worse, I was responsible for what happened. If only I hadn’t pushed him so hard. I should have put my foot down and told Mac that I’d done all I could. After all, I’d known that he was telling the truth. There was no need for me to have gone so deep. What if he never recovered? What if his memories were no longer in there? What if I had ruined the rest of his life?

  “Is my company really that bad?” Erik asked, giving me a slight nudge in the ribs with his elbow.

  “Huh?” I asked, his question putting an end to my mental chastising.

  “You look like you’re about to cry. Women don’t usually react to me like that,” he joked. I rewarded his attempt at humor with a half-smile.

  “Just have a lot on my mind,” I mumbled.

  “I’m here if you need to talk,” he replied, his tone turning serious.

  We came to a stop in front of Instructor housing. Erik clasped both of my hands in his and squeezed gently. I stared at the ground, avoiding his imploring gaze.

  “Thanks. I’ll see you at dinner,” I muttered, snatching my hands away and turning to leave. Erik reached for me again, his fingers trailed across the inside of my wrist before dropping to his side. A hot flush crept up my neck and burned my cheeks. I paused, my hand halfway to the door handle. I wanted to turn around, wanted to fall into his arms and tell him about Ernest. I wanted him to stroke my hair, to tell me that everything would be all right. Instead, I finished extending my arm and firmly gripped the cold metal of the door handle. Pulling with way more force than was necessary, I yanked the door open and entered without turning back. I’d leaned on Erik too much in the past—I wouldn’t let myself fall back into the habit now.