Erik treated me as if the kiss had never happened. That, of course, brought on a rush of fresh worries. He definitely regretted kissing me. Maybe I’d misinterpreted the entire situation? Maybe he’d never actually wanted to kiss me to begin with. Except, I’d read his feelings right out of his mind, and he had wanted to kiss me. Had I been too drunk to read his mind correctly? Maybe I’d projected my feelings of desire onto him; maybe he’d only thought he wanted to kiss me.
I spoke to Penny at length about the situation. I was so used to keeping everything bottled up inside, it felt good to have a friend I could talk to about everything. We obsessed over every interaction between me and Erik, trying to decide what it meant. Penny gave me suggestions on “playing it cool”; she urged me to act as disinterested as he seemed. That was easier said than done. I didn’t want to be disinterested. I wanted to dig into his head and find out exactly what he was thinking. Penny thought that might make me appear a little desperate, or, even worse, psychotic. Unfortunately, I felt a little desperate and maybe a little crazy, too. Erik’s indifference was infuriating.
Likewise, we dissected every interaction Penny had with Harris. The two had been hanging out regularly since Festivis. Unfortunately, I was much less experienced when it came to dating than Penny, so I provided little insight into their encounters. Mostly, I just listened, and made the appropriate responses to her musings. But I did assure her that he was genuinely a nice guy. His dating history wasn’t as colorful as Erik’s—probably a check in the plus column for him—and I’d hung out with a few girls he’d dated over the years, always getting the impression he treated them well.
I was happy Penny was enjoying her time with Harris, but it also made me uneasy to know she was spending time with Donavon. I couldn’t help but envy Penny’s interactions with him. It wasn’t a lot of time, and I wasn’t ready to see him, but it still felt awkward that she was around him. I never told her about my feelings, and she was careful not to mention what little interaction that she did have with him.
Several weeks after the holiday, I returned from my morning run to a Comm from Mac. All that he said was to meet him in the main building before today’s practice. I had a feeling that I knew what the meeting was about: my solo mission. Graduation was only a month away, and with no communication about my solo mission, I’d started getting anxious. Every day, I asked Henri if he’d heard anything, but he seemed just as uneasy as I was about the lack of communication. Many of the pledges had already completed their solo missions and were now able to relax, knowing they were going to graduate.
Solo missions were assigned by Mac and Captain Alvarez. Supposedly, the missions weren’t assigned in any particular order, but I’d kind of expected Mac to give me mine earlier, rather than later. Although, given our last few less-than-friendly interactions, I presumed he was making me squirm on purpose; saving my assignment until so close to graduation.
I felt a mixture of relief and apprehension as I showered and changed in record time. I literally ran out of my room. Impatient, I jabbed at the elevator button as if that would make it arrive faster. Once inside, I hit the button for the first floor, repeatedly pushing it to close the doors until they slid soundlessly shut. My entire body vibrated with anticipation and nerves. This was it. Finally, I was going to prove myself, prove to all of my doubters that I belonged here, and verify that Mac and Henri’s confidence in me wasn’t unfounded.
When the elevator came to a stop in the lobby, I didn’t bother waiting for the doors to open completely. Instead, I slid sideways through the gap, and took off toward the main building.
“I’m here to see Mac,” I panted, informing the receptionist.
“Excuse me, dear?” the middle-aged brunette smiled, looking up from her computer.
“Sorry, I meant Director McDonough. I’m here to see Director McDonough,” I said, impetuously.
“And who should I say is wishing to speak with him, dear?” her plastered-on smile irked me further.
“Natalia Lyons. He’s expecting me,” I tapped my foot impatiently as she pressed a button on her panel Communicator, informing Mac that I was here.
“Follow me, dear,” she motioned, getting up from her desk.
“No need, I know the way.” I waved her off. I took the stairs to Mac’s office two at a time. Grabbing the knob of the thick, wooden door bearing his nameplate, I paused briefly. Tension rolled through the closed door. I opened my mind. Mac wasn’t alone. Captain Alvarez and Henri were in the room, too. I should’ve expected as much; Henri was my team leader and Captain Alvarez was the leader of the Hunters. What I didn’t understand was why the atmosphere was so tense. Solo missions were a normal ending to the pledge program.
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Suddenly, an awful thought occurred to me. What if this weren’t about my solo mission? What if I’d done something wrong? What if I were in trouble? Mac knew I’d broken down after our kill hunt, but the official report stated I’d been the one who actually performed the kill. What if they knew I hadn’t been able to go through with it myself? That Erik had to do it for me? Was that why I hadn’t been given my solo assignment yet?
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and braced myself before turning the knob. The men were talking in low voices, but grew quiet, all three heads turning in unison toward me, when I entered.
“Natalia, please come in. Take a seat,” Mac greeted me, motioning to the empty chair between Henri and Captain Alvarez.
“Mac. Captain. Henri.” I nodded to each in turn as I walked slowly to my chair.
Henri looked uncomfortable, wringing his hands in his lap and clenching his jaw. I opened up my mind and quickly scanned his: he was more than uncomfortable, he was scared. He kept repeating, over and over in his head: this is wrong, this is wrong. My blood ran cold. I was in trouble.
Carefully, I sat on the edge of the empty seat. “You wanted to see me?” I asked Mac, swallowing over the lump that had materialized in my throat.
“Yes, Natalia. As you are aware, you need to complete a solo mission prior to graduation.”
I sighed heavily, my body sagging with relief—thank goodness this was about the solo mission. I nodded my understanding.
“The Crypto Bank received some intel last night about Ian Crane.”
I froze. Mac paused and looked directly into my eyes, searching for understanding. Somehow, I managed to nod jerkily. We both knew that I knew who Ian Crane was. Ian Crane’s men had been the ones to invade the hotel and kill my parents. Ian Crane was the name that had kept me awake at night as a child. Ian Crane was the name that I equated with revenge. Ian Crane was the faceless man that I pictured every time I killed a hologram in the Sim scenario. I would not hesitate to kill Ian Crane.
“Ian Crane and his family are arriving in Las Vegas in a week. I need you to go to Vegas, get into the compound where the Cranes are staying, and gather as much intel as you can. I want pictures; picture of everything that you can get your hands on; pictures of every single person that Ian Crane meets with; pictures of every member of his family,” Mac’s voice rose an octave with every statement. “And if you get an opportunity, I want you to kill Crane.” Since Mac added the last part mentally, I figured it wasn’t part of the official assignment.
No wonder the tension in the room was so thick; this mission was not an ordinary solo hunt—it was huge and extremely dangerous. Ian Crane was rarely, if ever, out in public. He spent most of his time on heavily guarded compounds, much like Elite Headquarters and the School’s grounds. He seldom spent any time in a city where he would be vulnerable to attack. Mac lived in a similar manner. All of TOXIC’s facilities were heavily guarded, even more so when Mac was around. He never stayed more than a night or two in any city, and he traveled with a specialized guard of Agency operatives.
“What exactly am I supposed to do?” I squeaked.
“This will not be a stealth mission. You will find one of his men and convince him to bring you to the compound. You’ll need to keep up this cover for as long as possible. You’ll fill the man’s head with whatever is necessary to keep him happy; just be sure that he continues to take you into the compound and that he does so without attracting too much attention to either of you.”
The lump in my throat had grown so large that I nearly choked on my spit when I tried to swallow. I’d never actually been trained in deception. Controlling a man’s will was dangerous and consumed a great deal of mental energy. Hopefully, I could find a weak-willed victim. Mac must really believe in me if he’s willing to take such a big risk, I thought. Pride filled me, nearly seeping out of my pores. I had no doubt that I should be concerned about the dangers, but just then, I didn’t really care. Mac’s approval meant the world to me, and if he were willing to take the risk, then so was I.
“TOXIC is already arranging an apartment in the city for you; you’ll be based there during the mission. Over the next week, techies will be here to outfit you with the latest technology that we have to offer. I trust that you understand how important this mission is? And why you were chosen?”
I nodded. I definitely knew how important this mission was. Part of the problem with The Coalition was that, outside of Ian Crane, TOXIC didn’t really know who the leaders were. Ian Crane was the figurehead, but there had to be plenty of other decision-makers. If The Agency could take out the leaders of The Coalition, we could make major headway in ending this war and reunifying the country.
I also knew why I’d been chosen. This couldn’t be a stealth mission—it was unlikely that anyone could successfully get by the security around the Crane’s residence. Given that, someone who could control other people’s minds, someone who could to talk her way in to the complex was necessary: Me.
“Good,” Mac continued. “Until then, you will practice with your team as usual, unless I send you a Comm to the contrary. Henri will excuse you whenever it’s necessary: so that you can acquaint yourself with the tech you will be using, or review any intel the Cryptos are able to gather.”
My eyes shifted to Henri. He gave me a tight smile and a small nod that I thought was supposed to be reassuring.
“I don’t want to keep you from practice any longer,” Mac dismissed us.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, getting up from my chair. Henri stood next to me and gave a small nod to both Mac and the Captain. He placed one of his large hands on my back, gently guiding me out of the room.
Henri kept his arm wrapped tightly around me the entire way to the practice arena, but remained mute. I didn’t need to read his mind to know that he thought this was a suicide mission. When I did read his mind, I could tell that he was not only shocked, but angry that Mac would put me, of all people, in such a dangerous position. He was also chiding himself for not speaking up. I didn't blame him. No one talked back to Mac, especially when it came to TOXIC-related issues. Not even me.