‘Arghh’.

  Des tried to contain the latest grunt as the stun bolt struck him in the right hip. A wave of pain and numbness embarked on a tour up and down one side of his body. His lightsaber deactivated and he gave himself a short respite to shake off the hit.

  The pain was brief but memorable. Des expected the bolts to feel like an electric shock but having never experienced one, he could not reasonably compare the two. The closest analog from his previous life would be cracking his shins with a skateboard or scooter. Thankfully the pain was not nearly so intense but it was the closest match to the sensation he could think of.

  Des looked around comparing his own performance with that of his friends and clan mates. It had only been five or ten minutes since Knight Hadrin had given them their task, they were to deflect ten bolts in a row..

  Thus Far Des had managed three deflections but that fourth bolt was proving elusive. Allowing himself to get distracted, he watched as Krit reset his stance and ignited his saber, ready to go again.

  The first bolt came at him just to the left of center mass. He deflected easily with a slight tilting of his wrists. From there the droid jerked left and down, firing its next shot upwards toward his armpit. Bringing his lead foot in Krit pivoted as he deflected the second bolt. Immediately after firing the droid continued its movement, orbiting Krit anticlockwise to fire from behind. The Ithorian however was already in position, completing his turn just in time to rebuff the third bolt, then switching to a high horizontal block for the fourth.

  The next one got him. The high block had forced him to lean his head back or be struck by his own lightsaber. Off balance and unable to react in time the sixth bolt landed easily, discharging through his abdomen.

  Des winced in sympathy as Krit flinched from the pain. While his friend recovered, like Des, he too looked around checking on the progress of the others. When their eyes met, both of Krits' mouths slowly curled up on one side, giving his approximation of a smile. Without direction from Des his own lips began to curve, steadily escalating from a mild grin to a full beamed smirk.

  Their moment of shared joy ended, each turning back to task as if following a beat they alone could hear. Determination rising once more, Des ignited his saber.

  The first bolt came just off center mass, the standard opening move favoured by these droids. With a slight twisting of his wrists the bolts trajectory was altered, passing harmlessly to his right.

  Resetting his wrists, saber held firmly in a handshake grip, he awaited the next attack.

  It came from above, the training droid launching itself vertically, rising quickly then firing down at a steep angle aimed straight for his head.

  Having just seen Krit fall to a similar trick Des chose not to block. Instead he quickly leaned right, letting the bolt slip past him. Unfortunately he put too much power into the dodge and he was now off balance. When the next bolt came, he overextended his block, managing to catch the bolt on the inside of his saber, accidentally redirecting it up and inward to catch himself in the throat.

  His eyes watered as the pain ran its course, thankfully his breathing remained unaffected.

  ‘Well that sucked’ Des lamented, but a smile still lingered on his face. He looked around once more, checking to see if anyone noticed his blunder. They had, there was more than one look of sympathy being directed his way, as well as a fair share of amusement.

  Seeing Des recovered, most turned back to their own training droids. Shofo however, drew his attention from her space off to his right.

  “Gramps”

  “Yeah?”

  “Stop holding back.”

  Des instinctively wanted to reject her words but Shofo had not waited for a response. Instead, she ignited her training saber and resumed her match up with the droid.

  Blocked from voicing his disagreement he instead turned introspective.

  ‘Was she right? Am I holding back?’ The answer was a resounding yes and he knew it. He was holding back on so many things. His studies, his meditation, experimenting with his inventory and seeking clues to what powers might yet be within.

  Then there were his friends and the other Jedi. He could not tell them about his past life. Likely they would not believe him, then what? what would be the fallout of that. Would they lock him up? Kick him out? Why take that risk, there was nothing to be gained as far as he could tell.

  Alternatively, what if they believed him. What then, would they pump him for information. Subject him to days of interrogations as they tried to draw every detail out of him?.

  Once more Des saw no benefit, not for himself, not for his friends and not for the Jedi.

  As those thoughts churned through his mind, two simple yet very freeing words rose to the forefront.

  ‘Fuck it’.

  He did what he knew he would end up doing the moment he saw the training droids.

  He closed his eyes.

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  The Force was waiting for him, ever present and ever ready.

  Calmness filled him, His breathing pattern was already locked in, it had been for weeks, as automatic now as breathing. All feelings and emotion dropped away as Des embraced the Force. Through the meditation, he held firm to the feeling of the lightsaber within his palms. With great effort not to break his trance, he slid his left hand down the hilt and ignited the blade.

  Des was still, He was composed, and he was blind.

  He blinked.

  His eyes were shut, yet he somehow managed the feat.

  Before he could analyse or even wonder at the sensation, It happened again. This time, when the moment was over, he could feel that he was now positioned in a horizontal block, his arms seeming to have moved of their own accord.

  Any surprise he might have felt dissipated into the Force, unable to marr Des’s composure. He was focused, now more than ever as he awaited the next blink that was not a blink.

  The third bolt came, followed rapidly by the fourth and fifth. Des paid little mind to the movements of his body, instead honing in on the sensation that accompanied each change. He could almost-.

  Des pushed on the Force. His timing was perfect, as the sixth bolt sped towards his left shoulder and his saber slid into a defensive position, his awareness expanded.

  The Force was all around him. It was in the air and the soil, in the grass and the bugs he could now sense. His bubble of perception grew, encompassing more of the space around him until it enveloped the training droid.

  Des was instantly drawn to it, his mind flooding with new knowledge. This deep within the Force it did not phase him, the new information sliding easily through his mind.

  Not that Des would have noticed, for at the heart of the droid was a wrongness he could not ignore.

  All things were part of the Force, that was only right, but at the heart of this droid, there was nothing. Only a blank space, an emptiness, a void. But it did not have to be so.

  Des reached out, if he weaved the Force just s-.

  An overwhelming power reached out and crushed his probe. Pain blossomed within his head as the backlash of having his probe crushed knocked him from his epiphany and sent him crashing to his knees.

  Wincing in pain, his saber was dropped and his hands moved to furiously rub his temples. In his daze he missed the footsteps approaching him.

  “What exactly were you trying to achieve just now Initiate?”

  Through the headache Des looked up, finding Knight Hadrin staring down at him, an irked expression clear on her face.

  “I, Don’t know.” He trailed off, unsure exactly what he had tried to do.

  “Then perhaps you should refrain from such attempts.” She raised her head looking at the rest of the class. Des copied her, noticing everyone's attention was on them.

  “As good a stopping point as any. Everyone pair up, I want two lines facing each other”. She looked back down to Des, “take a minute, when you’re recovered you can partner with Padawan Kemp”.

  Des remained on the grass recovering while the Jedi Knight instructed the class on the next task. They were each to take turns attacking while the other defended. Des would have loved to get involved but right now he was experiencing a brain freeze on steroids.

  When his head finally felt functional again he tried to trigger that state of awareness he had reached earlier. It did not work, or at least it did not work quickly, so he gathered up the training saber then rose, moving to join the blonde haired Padawan at the end of the line.

  “Are you sure you have recovered little one?” The gangly teenager showed honest concern as Des approached him.

  Des nodded, eager to begin.

  “Well, if you're sure?” Again Des nodded, all that remained of the pain now was memory. “Then you can begin your attack, I will take the defender roll. Remember, go slow, this is not a spar.”

  In his head Des added a ‘not yet’ to the end of the Padawans sentence.

  His first attempt was a slow lunge aimed at his partners lead shoulder. His movement was deliberately slow, in part because he had been instructed to do so but mostly because he was waiting for a reaction from the Force.

  His lunge was deflected so he brought the tip down, positioning for an upward diagonal slash. Of course, he was moving so slow there was zero chance it would connect but that was not the point.

  One blocked strike led to the next and all the while the Force remained silent. When they switched roles, Des now defending there was still nothing. He had hoped that would be enough to trigger his connection but it seemed this slow pseudo spar just wouldn’t cut it.

  Des and the Padawan switched roles multiple times before Knight Hadrin called an end to the exercise. “Alright that’s enough for now, let us move onto sparring. Before we start, anyone foolish enough to engage in horseplay or any other such folly will find themself running laps for the remainder of the session. Understood?”

  Some nodded while some gave a ‘yes Master’ but they all agreed, no one wanted to miss their first spar.

  Des was paired once more with the much taller and stronger Padawan. The uneven number of students and his own reckless actions made him todays odd man out.

  When the pair began their spar, it was not all too different from the previous exercise. Des was the aggressor, attacking the older boy with every strike, slash and thrust he could muster. None of it phased the Padawan, he blocked or deflected everything with annoying ease, occasionally returning his attacks but halting his saber just before it would strike Des in truth.

  Des was torn. He was enjoying himself, sparring like this was fun. Earlier though he had a taste of something he had been working towards for months, then it was snatched away from him before he could figure out how he had done it.

  Deactivating his lightsaber he spoke to his opponent, “can i try something?”

  “If you want to risk running laps, sure” there was an obvious note of amusement in his tone that failed to deter Des.

  “Okay, when I ignite my lightsaber can you actually strike me? Don’t stop just before contact like before”.

  In response the teen raised a single eyebrow. Taking that as acceptance Des assumed his stance and closed his eyes once more.

  From deep within a trance he ignited his saber and waited, what doubt remained quickly fled him and he knew, this time he would succeed.

  The first strike was slow in coming, his opponent clearly reluctant to attack a five year old with his eyes closed, but when it did come Des was ready. He pounced on the sensation thrown out by the Force, his bubble of awareness returning.

  Jubilation reigned within his heart as his perception expanded far faster than it had the first time. He could sense so much his attention felt like it was being pulled in every direction. Foremost in his senses was Knight Hadrin, she was the strongest presence in the Force he could feel. He was also certain now it had been her that had crushed his Force probe earlier, being able to feel her power removed what doubts remained.

  He allowed his attention to drift, moving from one presence to the next. Some he recognised, Krit and Shofo standing out easily, both bright in the Force. The others were harder to distinguish, regardless of how strong their connection was.

  His mind moved to ever smaller presences until he encountered something that felt different. It was not a person, he could tell that much. He puzzled over what he was sensing until a familiar itching at the back of his consciousness finally clued him in. ‘It’s a lightsaber’.

  Unlike with the droid, he was not drawn into the device by Mechu-deru. Unwilling to bare his instructors ire a second time he decided to refrain from sating his curiosity. For now.

  It was only after he dismissed the lightsaber from his attention that he noticed the growing storm of emotion now surrounding him. Surprise and shock was at the forefront easily overwhelming the other feelings Des knew accompanied them.

  Puzzled, he tried to use his new awareness to figure out what was going on. His meditation almost broke when it clicked.

  He was the source.

  A feeling of disembodiment came and went as he observed himself through his new senses.

  Des was in a battle. What started as a spar had escalated into something more as the Padawan came at him with shocking intensity. Strike after strike rained down on him but. Des was a whirlwind. An impenetrable wall of defence that rebuffed every move. He blocked, he deflected, he dodged, ducked and pivoted evading everything that was thrown at him.

  Caught up in a different kind of trance Des observed, a willing passenger to the dance unfolding.

  During a lull in combat, He decided to take a risk. He attempted an attack of his own. Reassured by the Force flowing through him, he felt certain nothing would break his connection. So he lunged, it was the exact same thrust he had first tried on the gangly teen earlier that day, only this time the Force empowered his action.

  His world spun as Des was promptly toppled onto his arse.

  “Looks like your offence needs some work” the Padawan jibed between gulps of air.

  Des didn’t care though, in fact he had to hold himself back from laughing out loud because he had done it.

  His eyes were open and the Force remained.

  ‘Now. lets see how a lightsaber works’.