Someone was mumbling, Des could hear it. He tried to focus on the sound, straining his ears to listen in. As the words of the speaker became clear he realised he knew them.

  Emotion, yet peace

  Ignorance, yet knowledge

  Passion, yet serenity

  Chaos, yet harmony

  Death, yet the Force

  It was the mantra he was oh so familiar with, the one taught to all the initiates. He tried to place the voice of the speaker, He knew that voice. ‘Who is that?’

  With sudden realisation Des awoke, the voice that had been speaking was his own. ‘That's the third day in a row,’ he cursed internally. He had recited the mantra so often and for so long that he had begun to speak it in his sleep.

  He shook off his annoyance, making his way to the bathroom. He knew it was called a refresher in this universe but in his mind it was still a bathroom. When he was done he still had some time to kill. Despite his irritating wake up call he chose to meditate, master Jenks words from yesterday still resonating in his mind.

  Deciding five cycles of the mantra would be the safest way forward, he began.

  During his ninth round he was interrupted by a door buzzer. Rising he moved to answer.

  “Jason, hey, is something up?” he was surprised, from the small group that had adopted him it was always Shofo who sought him out.

  “Hi Des, we’re in the same class, Morning meditation. Thought I'd come get you”. He was a little nervous, Des didn’t need the Force to tell him that. Compared to the others, Jason was easy to read.

  “Sure, just a moment,” he grabbed his holopad for later. “Let's go”.

  They began the short walk to their classroom, within a few steps Jason shot Des a question. “What did it feel like?”

  He was expecting something, but the question came so soon Des was caught wrong footed. He responded with a reflexive “huh,” before truly registering what he had been asked.

  “Using the Force. What did it feel like? They said you learned a Force power, a sith power. They said it was so strong you collapsed. I thought maybe you’d be able to tell me what I’m missing, Shofo tried to help but nothing she said worked and Krit never talks, so I thought maybe you.” he stopped abruptly, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment..

  Multiple competing thoughts ran through Des’s mind during the outburst. ‘Is he right, did I use the force?’ The second thought was ‘has anyone heard Krit talk?’ next came ‘wait how far along are those two?’ The last was rather pessimistic, ‘I don’t think I can help him’.

  Seeing the mixture of embarrassment and hope on the kids face Des pushed that last thought aside. Even if it couldn’t help him there was no harm in sharing what he Knew.

  “I don’t remember feeling the Force when I used the power”. They stopped walking, Jason looked a little disappointed but Des continued. “When I first used it, it was like having a whole archive pushed into my head at once. I couldn’t really sense anything through that. The last time wasn’t nearly so bad, but there was still too much for me”.

  “What about your meditation lessons, you had one on ones with master Jenk”. The way Jason said that made Des think even he thought it was a longshot.

  “Honestly you probably know more than me about meditation, I did say I was working on a problem and we are going to the same beginner class.” Jason visibly deflated. “Tell you what, masterJenk did run me through some tests. I doubt they will help but we can go over them afterward. Sound good?”

  The offer perked the boy up, he thanked Des and they resumed their walk.

  When they entered the classroom there were three others present, two he recognised as fellow initiates of their clan. judging by the braid hanging down his shoulder The other was their padawan instructor.

  Jason sat with the others, nodding to the instructor as he passed.

  The man introduced himself as Padawan Verge. He proceeded to guide Des through emptiness meditation, which involved clearing his mind then releasing negative thoughts and feelings into the force. It didn’t take long to teach, leaving Des free to meditate.

  Deep within his trance, Des felt the currents of the Force. It ebbed and flowed, spun and danced. He focused on the scale of it, on the power of it, vast beyond reckoning with The capacity to strengthen or decay, to create or destroy. harmony and chaos forever struggling for dominance, light and dark seeking balance.

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Wariness.

  Amidst the spectacle a stray emotion grazed across Des’s perception. The unexpected interruption almost caused Des to break his trance. His surprise drifted off, released into the force. The wariness was not his, it was external, he had sensed the emotions of another through the force. There was a moment of joy that came entirely from Des before it too drifted away, quickly followed by the resulting annoyance that was caused.

  Could he do it again? He reached out like he had done with Mechu-deru and felt nothing. He tried to open himself to any feelings but if anything about himself actually changed he couldn’t tell. Next he tried limiting his focus. instead of observing the entirety of the Force, or as much of it as he could, he tried to focus on only what was near him. There was nothing new but his perception had shifted. While it wasn’t what he was aiming for, it was still something.

  Holding his focus in this new form he waited, reasoning that his chances of detecting an emotion would be better like this.

  Worry

  Again he felt an emotion that was not his own. It had not been quick in coming. Unsure if his shifted focus had made any difference, he continued his vigil.

  Doubt

  Sorrow

  Pity

  Despair

  He heard a voice speak. Throughout his quest to sense emotion he maintained a part of his attention on his connection to the outside world. Opening his eyes he saw the others rising, the session coming to an end.

  He rose and Jason joined him, making their way to the morning meal. Along the way Jason informed Des that he had been able to touch the force towards the end of the session. It was not his first time but he was still very excited about it. Des could relate, he was still pumped about sensing emotions.

  After they ate they went over the tests master Jenk had put him through the previous day. All of them being variations on mantra meditation, Jason agreed there was nothing there that could aid him. Des had expected it but he was still a little disappointed, he would have liked to help but he had nothing.

  In the second session Padawan Verge interrupted him shortly after entering meditation.

  “Good, your ability to connect with the force is consistent”. For a moment Des thought he saw shades of doubt in the Padawans face. He continued, ”This time when you enter meditation, try to feel the force within yourself. then try to exit while holding on to the feeling”.

  Nodding in response Des considered the instruction. It was very close to what he’d been doing to solve his awareness problem, only with one additional step. He wondered if this was the method for learning to sense the force outside of meditation, it fit after all.

  Excitement and anticipation drifted away as he tried to narrow his focus even tighter than before, seeking the Force within himself. It was easy, it was a part of him, how could it not be. There was no separation, the Force was a part of him and he was a part of the force.

  Holding onto that feeling, he slipped from meditation, opening his eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped. One moment everything around him was bright, distinct and easy to see. Then the lights were switched off and Des was left in utter darkness, all sense of the Force having fled him.

  Determined he tried again. And again. And again. Over and over he repeated the exercise but nothing changed. Within meditation the Force was everything and everywhere, outside meditation there was nothing but the mundane. He might as well have still been on earth for all he could sense.

  The remainder of the session passed like this: then a history class came and went followed by the midday meal. After that was physical training, two full hours of it. The schedule had changed, for today and every other day this week their training had been doubled.

  As he ran warm up circuits of the court yard it occurred to him that the jedi were building them up physically. When he thought on the possible reasons for this, a lone idea dominated his mind. ‘Lightsabers’.

  That day Des ran harder and faster than any day before, earning himself some looks from the other initiates.

  When they were warming down Shofo had asked him why, so he explained his reasoning. Despite his attempts to be quiet, his words were overheard and the mildly hostile looks he was getting ended. Most of them anyway, a few still looked a little disgruntled.

  “Makes sense” was all she commented.

  After that they returned to their classroom for more meditation. When he had been training not to lose himself within the force he always felt like he was making progress, even from the first session. Now however there was no sense of advancement.

  ‘It's too soon to worry’ he decided. It was his first day with this new technique. Others had been at it for more than a month and were still having trouble.

  When the final session for the day was over Jason convinced Des to join them in the common room, “you can do your studies anywhere right? And it's gotta be better than sitting alone in your room. Honestly I Don’t know which of you three is worse, Krit never talking, Shofo never making any sense or you locked away in your room all the time”.

  “Fine, fine, I’ll come” Des acted put upon but it was just that, an act. The kid's good mood was infectious.

  They made their way to the dorm common room. It was another boxy room but warmer. The comfortable faux leather couches and chairs, the communal dining table, a spacious meditation circle and a well stocked cantina in the back gave the room a homely feel, or maybe a community hall feeling instead.

  “Hey gramps”

  Spotting Shofo and Krit he headed in their direction, Jason however split off to say hello to a group using the table. joining the others he sat.

  “Meditation?” Shofos question was missing context but Des Knew what she meant.

  “Good and bad, Jason seems pleased though” they all turned to look at him, he was animated and smiling ear to ear. Krit let out a puff of air from his mouths. It might have been a laugh or maybe an imitation of one. Or it might have been something else altogether, Des couldn’t say.

  “He does. And so do you,” Shofo countered.

  “I am,” Des conceded the point. “I had a small success. I was able to sense some emotions through the Force”.

  “That's good, good connection,” she nodded.

  Krit leaned forward noticeably. Des Interpreted it as a question.

  “What did I feel?” The Ithorien nodded. Des thought back “wariness firs-”

  “Hah”. Des turned to see Jason joining them. “Of course they were wary, with that power of yours,” he was giving Des a bemused look. He had accepted that Mechu-deru was a darkside power but Jason seemed to be hinting at more.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You don't remember, we covered it in history”. Des thought back, nothing immediately sprung to mind. Seeing his confusion Jason continued, “the Sictis wars. Belai Darzu?”

  He remembered. It was the most recent major conflict with the Sith. A little over one hundred years ago a Dark Lord named Belai Darzu had unified the Sith and led a twenty year campaign against the republic and jedi before dying to betrayal. Her primary weapon and the main source of her power was a sithspawn Knight Casin had described as “the most vile creation the sith have ever devised”. The technobeasts, a combination of flesh and machine that reminded Des of cyborg-zombies. Much like zombies they carried a virus, through spores they infected all who came into contact with them. The victims would then grow metallic tumours and slowly transform into new technobeasts, their brain destroyed in the process. Even today, one hundred and ten years after Belai Darzus death, they were still a threat.

  And the power she had used to create them, to create the virus, was named Mechu-deru.

  ‘Well, Fuck’