CW:

  Pretty clean? AWNYA POV!!! Talking to an old mentor/family member about their mistakes and demanding better of them.

  Put this off for too long. Would have few a eternities had Tretion and Lyra not nudged me into talking to her before things got too busy.

  Cuz it felt so much like… sort of… like old memories that I can’t really recall but will never forget the feeling of. Being a little bird that knows nothing about flying staring down at a long fall she’s not sure she can leap into.

  First, when I was actually just a bird. Then, when I was trying to be more. When my dad asked if I’d like to be his little sparrow. Eat the little spark of Fae flame he held amidst a full hand of my favorite treats.

  And… Dreamer’s Tits this feels just like then. Standing at the edge of this Grove inside our big home.

  Where we kinda just… dumped and left them. Let Yuna and Usete come say hi and hallo. Help ‘em settle. Hopefully nudge them into singing better songs they seemed to understand. But… Well, It took Yuna too long and nearly too late to be better. Usete longer still. And they both had the death of a girl to weigh on their souls these past years.

  Uldra and Melivias’ songs titter through this place. Ernest and soft. Attempts to help this little maybe forest become more. Grow like the others have. Little questions too. Mostly for the manor. Trying to like… understand what it needs and what they can help with. A few about us or Lyra or… well, me.

  And I’ve given my old mentor time to stew like some overcooked pot of nonsense. Time to… to see if there is something worth salvaging here.

  If we can trust her to leave this place anytime soon, or… or even our manor.

  So after a huff of hesitation, and a good few nuzzles against the children that I hold close against my Amwella, I sing a gentle but firm song of greeting and arrival, and wait.

  Can’t help but fight down a smile as she nearly comes tumbling down from some great big leap to cross the Grove as fast as possible. Probably... leaving Uldra stumbling after.

  Eyes and face and songs are a mess of worry and hope as she greets. “Awnya. I… It’s good to… I’m glad you’ve visited.”

  “Heya.” I pick up her faltering words. “Got an evening to spare for me?”

  “I…” She hesitates, probably caught between a remark about how we’ve pointedly given her nothing but time here and wanting to be… well, like something she never was. “Always. Yes. Of course. Anytime. Was just about to settle on a choice of meal, if you’d like to join me?”

  “Sure, I haven't had food since breakfast.” I agree.

  The walk to her little home she’s gathered is quiet. Intentionally so. Normally we’d both weave songs amidst the wordless company. But… Well, I’m waiting to see what tunes she’s holding.

  Takes her a bit to settle into the little melodies she likes to keep rumbling from her chest. Seeming to come after we’ve arrived and she begins to gather the meal from the growths about her little half-home. A great big huff leaving at first like she’s been holding her breath, then a song carefully moves to match her motions.

  Hummings of an old bird being visited by something that she’s missed. Was worried she lost. Wanted to track the scent of me on the wind for years and years now but… knew our meeting would bring only pain as opposing songs clashed like angry tides against sheer rocks.

  Take a seat amidst the soft grass, leaves, and roots she’s woven into comfortable seating in this little I allow a few gentle hums of my own to tangle through her song.

  Of agreement. Her remaining away was best for us both. Especially if our soul’s melodies remained so… starkly opposite.

  Only our grief ever matched harmonies. And then up no farther than when Lyra’s name was within the melodies...

  She killed him. YOUR FATHER. My… My Beloved Friend. How can you mourn her in the same breath as you weep his end!?!?!

  Her furious snarling painful song screamed. Opposite to mine.

  Don’t blame the rock when an old wise goat forgets to watch his step. He slipped and tumbled to his own end. Lyra fell from that same ledge and is just as lost to us for years and years. Fell into the trap you and Uldra laid to try and SAVE HIM!!! Lost her lover and soft healing for the trouble!

  And… that was that. Last time we spoke before our meeting in the Rorliras was the day I told her and all my elders to go eat a bucket of sand. When I devoted myself to Tretion, and the souls we spent nearly a decade saving.

  My old mentor and basically second parent settles across from me. Food placed carefully between alongside two cups of glimmering springwater.

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  “This place is… amazing.” Melivias murmurs softly as her first words over this untouched shared meal. “How did our kind never stumble here before?”

  “Isn’t it?” I reply and reach out to take up a pretty red fruit. “And that's probably due to where it’s at.”

  “Yuna… Said we’re actually inside the shell of a big turtle? One swimming through the Blighted sea?” She asks, taking up her cup.

  “Not sure it’s actually a big turtle, but close enough. And yeah, it's paddling happily in the ocean between the Rifts.” I chuckle at Lyra’s mom accepting her youngest daughter’s words with total trust.

  She shakes her head. “It’s even less conversational to us than the sleepiest badger during winter's start but… incredibly intelligent. The weight behind every word it offers is immense. Almost as much when silence is it’s reply to a question.”

  Aaaah, she caught that. Which is stupid impressive. Took Tretion and me like… months and months to notice the difference between this big wonderful place ignoring us and struggling to find the best words in our silly tongues.

  But… not here to admire how smart my old mentor can be, I’m here to find out if she can ever hold a hint of my trust again.

  “So... sing this true, Melivias,” I murmur without fire or fury. Just… try to keep this as honest a question as possible. “Was it that the Fae would hurt Lyra that made you start to sing counter to them. Or was it them finding that big soft sleepy friend in Theradas and planning to hurt it what shifted your tune?”

  She winces, mouth opens, then closes. Song hitches to pain before cutting off.

  Obvious guilt spiking through her.

  I smile sadly and sigh. “You’d still have them hurt my girl if it came to that. If you made demands and felt you have the weight of songs to force her to follow your tunes. Right?”

  “Awnya I…” She whispers, then looks down and away.

  “And you don’t even know how bad things got for her.” I growl softly over her song. “How… How much that big cunt hurt her. Yet it was that blighted… monster, that helped us find and get her out of your schemes.”

  My old teacher pales at that. “You… what? Thendra helped you?”

  “And that’s what bothers me more than anything else. Is that Lyra would have loved to give the Fae her everything if they loved her like any other of our kind. Weave us fresh and possible never ending warmth. But because all you elders only saw her as a human and never Fae… it didn’t matter. And the heartbeat this Dream brought the ability to toss her into a sea of agony and despair in exchange for barely a spark of what her flame could offer YOU TOOK THAT WITHOUT HESITATION! Only stopped because something you felt was innocent would get hurt with her.”

  My final shrikes are a near scream of fury and anger finally released. Causing everything but Melivias herself to lean away in fear. But my old mentor… she just sits frozen.

  Only barely whispers after a few good long moments of quiet. “I… I’m sorry.”

  “No. You don’t get to apologize to me. Not for that.” I snarl. “Because I need you to understand something first. I followed my dad’s and your teachings, all through these past ten years. Fought talon and beak for means that should shape into a good end. Refused to settle down and stop once I... I somehow fell into love all over again. Spent years risking every bleeding drop of happiness I’d clawed back from this Dream for others like the girl we loved and lost. Nearly…”

  Have to stop. Take a breath. Start again softer, but with no less fury as angry bitter tears that begin to fall.

  “It was HIS words that kept me alive, Melivias. Forced me to tend to my own wounds without any other Fae to help me bear the weight of the Blight that tore through me so many times. Songs FORCED to twist into things of acceptance of that pain and agony. And… and Dreamer’s Tits, am I so glad I did. Because Lyra needs those songs. NEEDS me to help her heal PAST what you and the Fae and that wretched manipulative big cunt did. Else we'll lose her all over again!”

  The glare I’m leveling isn’t a sharp thing, but… the weight of it seems to finish crushing my old mentor to dust. Leaving her expression a hollowed out thing of Blighted Dreams and broken hearts. Songless. Empty.

  “But, Old Hawk.” I say after a few eternities, snapping her attention back at the gentle use of her Fae name. “Lyra, for all her struggles, is right about one thing. You are family to me. Taught the very songs that made me the Fae I am. And… Rot and Ruin, Melivias, I want you to be the wonderful Fae I know you can be. There to teach our little ones the same.”

  “What? I… Those… they really are…” She sputters, eyes locking on the little Jellyfish nuzzling happily against my soul.

  They’re still humming little songs counter to my bubbling furry but… well, like I told the woman I hope might be a bit of a grandmother to them someday. They’re just helping me work past this pain instead of trying to smother and distract.

  “Adopted from the Blighted Sea, bound to us with a Dreamer’s Lamentation like no other.” I smile and explain, pulling the neck my cloak down to expose the vibrant mark Lyra left on collarbone. “Our children. Our Jellyfish. Someday will probably be wiggling about in flesh and song and needing soft souls to help us teach them… well, all the good stuff. Protect them from sorts that would hurt or use them.”

  Her words. Those last four. Her easy way of gesturing to ideas she couldn't find the words or melodies for in the moment.

  “But… Why even… pretend I can be trusted? After… After all my mistakes?”

  “Because Tretion’s moms are gone, like my dad. Which leaves Yuna. And while she’s… so much more supportive to Lyra than before. Getting better every day even. But she’s only one woman. And we’re looking at a clutch of eight to raise, or so. Mayhaps more since Lyra tugged those little ones from you and Uldra.” I shrug. “And… You’re not the only woman here who failed Lyra. Didn’t relentlessly act as they should from first notes.”

  She’s staring at my Amwella still, eyes bubbling with tears alongside a messy broken song of ache and despair but… also hope.

  A little spark dancing through at my words.

  So I set soft kindling beneath the blaze.

  “You’re my second parent, basically… Well, my mom.” I whisper. “And I want you back in my life. The woman that inspired me to fight for a better Dream. Can forgive everything for that. Not easily. Not all at once. But… Dreamer’s Tits, I can’t tell you how many times I felt close to cracking cause I couldn’t go ask my dad or you for advice or help these past years.”

  She nods, more to herself at first but… then looks up to lock eyes with mine.

  “Anything. Just… tell me how to be better. Little Sparrow.”

  Got her. And... Dreamer's Tits does that feel like such a weight lifted off my songs.

  Not all the pain but... a start.

  Even a promise of more to come as our Dream flows forward.

  “Just… need you to love her and our kids like you did me. Teach them all those good songs that made the other Elders bristle like angry badgers is a great start. Cause we’re not going to settle for hiding away in this manor. We wanna help heal this Dream like you and dad always talked about wishing could happen if even half the Fae got off their butts and actually cared about the souls in the wider Rifts.”

  Welcome to ARC 4!!!

  To Embrace A Dream Healer

  Also also! We just did right up a new lil story about a living weapon and her Witch!

  Clickie the pretty picture below to go read it!!!

  Just a reminder, the will always be 3 Chapters ahead for both Lamentations and !!!

  Our other story is BIG happy and support and Smexy Lesbian Polycule with a VERY Trans MC.

  Go read it for the GOOD FEELS.

  All art is by/collabed wiff

  linkie for all you who want to drop in and say hi hallo!