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10: What Is A Meow-nster?

  Eldrik Drasborn sat in one of the corners of his family's library. After the kingdom of Etheria cast him out of its true nobility because of the alleged actions of his ancestor, his only friends were the books that never spoke, but always listened.

  He might have been a little crazy, but who the Baazhh cared! Society had hated him for no reason, so why should he follow their rules? No, his only compass was his morality and his family's code. Be just, be kind, and eternally stand.

  He was dreaming of the powers he might get next year. Every year, the System chose its next batch of users from among those who'd reached eighteen years of age, giving them a random class and assessing what category they were born as. Whether these class giftings were truely random or a deliberate choice on the System's part, no human knew, and Eldrik himself didn't care as long as he got a good class or his category was at least a modifier that would make useful an otherwise worthless one.

  Now however, Eldrik was reading a book about dungeons. Dungeons 101, it was called. His mind returned its focus on the book upon seeing the title of the next chapter, called 'On Dungeon Monsters. Automata or living beings?'

  Eldrik wasn't interested in a detailed review on what the dungeon next door was called in the umpteenth year of the Whoever cycle, under the rule of the Screw You dynasty, nor was he particularly interested in the minor differences between two flowers of the same species found in that dungeon that caused some kind of world war. It was a fargone cycle that hadn't adversely affected this one, so no sane man could blame him for zoning out a little. And in his defense, the style of exposition was really unnecessarily long and slower than a snail's pace. So, he was really excited for this chapter.

  "Chapter 3. On Dungeon Monsters. Automata or living beings?

  Now that we are aware of the glorious history of dungeons and their varying impacts on the world around them, we will tackle a question about one of the most crucial elements of these marvellous environments. Namely, monsters.

  Records speak of a group of explorers somewhere before the first Baazhh invasion cycl, as they stumbled upon a strange cave. Once they entered, a scaled humanoid we now know as a kobold attacked them. Only one man survived, running at the closest town hall with a terrified look on his face, screaming the word 'monster!' over and over. From then on, this same word was used to refer to the entities adventurers do battle with inside of dungeons.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  Only after cycles of research and countless deaths in the pursuit of progress, did we finally confirm that a monster is not a living being, but a golem based on the design of one. Essentially, dungeons have a System just like we do, using it to make those constructs in a way still unknown to humanity. Some argue that it's the same System we have using us and the monsters alike as pawns for some mysterious purpose. Regardless of the truth of this, however, monsters remain a reality that any adventurer must deal with when choosing to enter a dungeon.

  Remember, dear reader, that the dungeon core is alive. And you have likely declared war on it by entering its domain, unless the core is sapient enough to recognize simple powerseekers from true threats to its existance. Thus, it has the right to kill you and use you as a resource, just like you go so often to do the same to it. Respect the dungeon, and respect yourself, and you'll likely be fine. Evil dungeons will be punnished for their actions, however. So never mistake the Delvers Association for pure human-betraying dungeon sympathizers. We are simply mediators trying to satisfy the two parties involved. Needless to say, the Baazhh don't count. In casual terms, the Baazh can screw themselves for eternity.

  That said, the marvellous thing about monsters is that they are completely made of Ether. Yes, even their matter is processed Ether. Not even the best recorded Etherworkers throughout human history have managed to fully master the five Ether types, so this marvellous ability to compose matter out of energy would revolutionize crafting industries and potentially reduce the need to mine dungeons for monster resources entirely! We have confirmed this fact by attempting to compress all of its structure using an Ether Distilation spell, which left absolutely nothing behind but a rush of incomprehensible mercury light that quickly faded.

  As far as we know, monsters are formed from a dungeon's elements and the most significant things around it. The Light of Evolution also seems to play a major role in the quality of a monster's powers.

  We at the Delvers Association apologize for this unconfirmed congecture. If you were hoping for a detailed analysis on the Ether formulas of monster genesis, or the ways of stopping or altering the monster, we are sad to tell you that you seek the most mysterious secret of dungeon cores. Just like you wouldn't give any stranger the ward key to your home, the dungeons would not give us their most treasured confidential pieces of information."

  That wasn't really that bad, other than the overuse of the word 'marvellous and the mention of conspiracy theories', at least in Eldrik's opinion. Oh, and the stupid needless history lesson on the previous chapter. It seemed like despite the long and rich history of humankind on Acatelia, the deeper depths of dungeons were still one of the vagueries of the System and Ether itself.

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