Just when I thought everything had fallen perfectly into place, my hands grasped nothing but empty air—Lin Ke'er had taken a step back.

  "Zuo Fei…" Lin Ke'er was still crying, her delicate face stained with tears.

  I stared at her in shock, a terrible premonition suddenly creeping over me.

  "If I say that I haven't made up my mind yet, would you blame me?" Lin Ke'er's voice trembled, her tears falling like shattered pearls. "Unlike you, two years ago, I thought I liked you. You were always there to protect me, you even fought with Wang Baocheng for my sake. Every day, my mind was filled with thoughts of you, and I longed to be with you. But after I transferred schools, when I slowly reflected on our relationship and examined my feelings, I realized that most of what I felt was simply being moved, not love. Being touched by someone's kindness is not the same as truly loving them. And you, Zuo Fei… just now you said you liked me since two years ago, that you searched for me, wanting to be with me. But have you ever thought that perhaps what you feel is just guilt? A subconscious desire to compensate for what happened back then?"

  I was dumbfounded, gazing at Lin Ke'er with a blank mind, unable to utter a single word in response.

  Lin Ke'er continued, her voice filled with sorrow, "So you see, Zuo Fei, our so-called love isn't pure. Perhaps I was simply touched by your kindness, and perhaps you are merely trying to make up for your guilt. But what happens when those feelings fade, when the guilt dissipates, and we realize we never truly loved each other? By then, it would already be too late. Zuo Fei, I think we both need to think carefully about our feelings for each other."

  My body swayed slightly, my heart sinking to the pit of my stomach. Was this… a rejection? This was clearly a rejection!

  My mind was a chaotic mess. I couldn't think, couldn't process her words. The only thing I knew was that she had refused me, and when I walked back to face that group of girls, they would undoubtedly laugh at me.

  "Zuo Fei, listen to me, let's think this through…"

  "Enough!" I turned my head away, not wanting to stay here for another second. I felt like a complete fool—pathetically chasing after her every day, getting into fights with Zhou Kun, Xing Qiu, and even the Ninth Prince for her sake. I even provoked Yi Zhen because of her. And now? She rejected me.

  I just wanted to leave as quickly as possible, but my legs felt as heavy as lead. Lin Ke'er was still calling after me, but I heard nothing. I just wanted to escape, to get away from this humiliation.

  Wang Yao and the girls were still waiting in the corridor. When they saw me approaching with a deathly pale face, they were visibly stunned.

  "Zuo Fei, what's wrong?" Wang Yao asked cautiously.

  "She rejected me." I forced a bitter smile, unwilling to say anything more, and kept walking forward like a lost soul.

  They didn't follow me but instead rushed toward Lin Ke'er.

  As I turned the corner of the hallway, I suddenly saw a boy and a girl walking hand in hand toward me.

  I froze. It was Houzi and Liu Yina.

  Clearly, while I was off making a fool of myself with my confession, Houzi had confessed as well—and he succeeded. I failed, and he succeeded. How ironic. I originally thought my chances were far better than his, given that Liu Yina always seemed indifferent toward Houzi. But in the end, fate played its cruel joke.

  "Zuo Fei, how did it go? Did you confess?" Houzi asked cheerfully, unaware of my misery.

  My throat tightened, and I felt the sting of tears threatening to fall. Without answering him, I turned and hurried down the stairs. Houzi and Liu Yina both called after me, but I never once looked back. I just wanted to get away from this cursed place.

  I sprinted out of the school gate, not knowing where I was heading. I just ran, hoping to leave everything behind—my humiliation, my heartbreak, and the mocking glances I would soon face. After what felt like an eternity, I spotted a small barbecue stall by the roadside. The evening air had grown a bit chilly, and the stall's business seemed sparse, the vendor idly sitting by.

  "Boss, give me a bucket of draft beer," I said, slumping heavily onto a seat. Tonight, I was determined to drown myself in alcohol.

  Foam overflowed as I poured the first glass. Without hesitation, I raised it to my lips and downed it in one go. The icy bitterness of the beer burned down my throat, but it was nothing compared to the cold, crushing numbness in my chest.

  "Drinking alone is rather pointless, isn't it? Boss, bring me a glass too," a familiar voice suddenly sounded.

  I looked up in surprise—it was Wang Yao.

  I glanced around but saw no one else. She had come alone.

  "You remember what I said last time, right? If you succeeded, you'd treat me to a drink. If you failed, I'd treat you instead. So… here I am."

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  I forced a bitter smile. "Fine."

  Wang Yao poured herself a glass, then downed it in one go without hesitation. Setting the glass down, she scolded, "For god's sake, stop looking like a beaten dog. So you got rejected, big deal! It's not like the world ended."

  "Yeah… big deal." I let out a self-deprecating chuckle. "I mean, look at me—I'm Zuo Fei, the most handsome guy around. Surely, I won't have trouble finding a girlfriend, right?"

  "That's the spirit," Wang Yao laughed. "Besides, Lin Ke'er didn't flat-out reject you. She just asked for time to think. Your relationship is complicated; even outsiders can't make sense of it, let alone the two of you. Just… give it time."

  I nodded, though I didn't feel any better. I didn't want to talk anymore—I just wanted to drink. Wang Yao seemed to understand and didn't press me further. She simply kept pouring and drinking with me, glass after glass, like a silent companion.

  At some point, my head became a haze, and my words began to pour out like a broken dam. I rambled on about our middle school days, about how Binzi and I ruled the campus, about how I once treated Lin Ke'er so cruelly, even throwing a ring at her face.

  Wang Yao said nothing. She just listened and drank alongside me, as if willingly becoming my personal trash can for all my pent-up emotions. Hours passed, and we were both hopelessly drunk. The barbecue vendor eventually sighed and told us to go home. Wang Yao paid the bill without hesitation and helped me stagger back toward the school.

  As we stumbled along, arm in arm, Wang Yao grumbled, "Damn… this road is so uneven. They should fix it."

  I laughed bitterly. "Thank you… really. I don't know what would've happened to me tonight if you hadn't come."

  "Don't be ridiculous. You're just too hung up on her, that's all. Lin Ke'er didn't even reject you, she just needs time to think. You're acting like she kicked you off a cliff or something."

  "Yeah… maybe you're right," I muttered. "Honestly, I'm starting to think she was right. Maybe all this time, I was just drowning in guilt, not love. Maybe I've just been trying to make amends instead of genuinely loving her."

  "Exactly. Just let things happen naturally," Wang Yao smiled.

  I nodded, but deep down, I couldn't shake off the lingering bitterness. As we stumbled toward the school gate, drunk and disoriented, I suddenly felt how small the gap between Wang Yao and I had become. The once untouchable girl, the goddess of our school, was now casually holding me up as if we were the closest of friends.

  And somewhere deep in my chest, a different kind of warmth began to stir.

  We returned to the school, the girls’ dormitory situated just behind the boys’. I decided to escort Wang Yao back. By the time we reached the entrance of her dormitory, my head was spinning, my consciousness already muddled. Wang Yao glanced at me and said, “You’d better hurry back and rest. Message me when you get there, so I know you’re safe.” I didn’t respond. Instead, I just stood there, staring at her in a daze. Under the dim glow of the streetlamp at the entrance, her face, flushed from the alcohol, appeared even more delicate and alluring. Her soft, rosy lips seemed moist and tantalizing, like dew-kissed petals in the morning light.

  I don’t know where I mustered the courage, but I suddenly grasped her arm and pressed my lips against hers.

  It was just a fleeting touch, not even long enough for me to savor the softness of her lips before she violently pushed me away.

  “What the hell are you doing, Zuo Fei?!” Her voice was filled with disbelief and fury.

  I was so startled that half of my drunken stupor instantly evaporated. Flustered, I kept apologizing, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Wang Yao shot me a piercing glare and said coldly, “You’re drunk. Go back to your dorm and sleep it off.” Without giving me another glance, she turned and ran into the girls’ dormitory, leaving me frozen in place, a wave of embarrassment and self-loathing crashing over me.

  I staggered my way back to the boys’ dormitory, my heart pounding like a war drum. I kept replaying the scene in my mind — what the hell did I just do? Did I seriously just force a kiss on Wang Yao, the leader of the Thirteen Roses? Am I out of my mind? Did I have some sort of death wish?

  Back in my dorm, my mind was still a chaotic mess. I stumbled to the washroom, splashed cold water on my face, and then collapsed onto my bed. Ma Jie, my bunkmate, poked his head over and asked, “Hey, how’d the confession go?”

  “Get lost.” I spat the words coldly, and he wisely retracted his head without another word.

  Strangely enough, my mind was no longer preoccupied with Lin Ke’er. Instead, it was flooded with the image of Wang Yao — her face under the streetlamp, her fiery response, and that brief moment when our lips touched. Perhaps it was because I had been suppressing my feelings for her all along, and the alcohol merely unshackled them, allowing them to erupt like a long-dormant volcano.

  I realized, with a trace of bitter amusement, that if my heart were a balance scale, with Lin Ke’er on one side and Wang Yao on the other, the scale had always leaned heavily toward Lin Ke’er. I had willingly suppressed my affection for Wang Yao because I was so fixated on atoning for my past mistakes with Lin Ke’er. But now, with Lin Ke’er’s rejection and her painful sermon about “guilt and gratitude,” combined with Wang Yao’s companionship tonight and the kiss that I had stolen — whether I admitted it or not, the scale was slowly but surely tilting toward Wang Yao.

  Humans are such fickle creatures, aren’t they?

  Perhaps it was the lingering effect of the alcohol, but my brain suddenly burned with an intense, almost desperate desire — I wanted to confess to Wang Yao. Right now. Tonight.

  I knew it was an absolutely ridiculous, even contemptible thought. Just this morning, I had confessed to Lin Ke’er and been rejected. Turning around within mere hours to confess to Wang Yao? I would look like the biggest scumbag to ever walk the earth. Furthermore, what were the chances that Wang Yao would even accept me? She had just pushed me away in disgust — she would probably see me as nothing more than a drunken fool.

  But the more I thought about it, the less I could suppress it. My emotions were like a dam on the verge of collapse — once the cracks appeared, the flood was inevitable. I knew it was foolish. I knew I would probably regret it. But my impulsive nature, the same nature that had once driven me to cruelly humiliate Lin Ke’er with a ring two years ago, was now driving me to do something equally irrational.

  I suddenly sprang from my bed, driven by a reckless determination. My mind screamed at me that it was a terrible idea, but my heart was already ablaze — I was going to confess to Wang Yao. Tonight.

  To hell with logic. To hell with regrets. I only knew one thing: this was what I wanted to do. And once I had set my mind on something, nothing could stop me.

  I slipped on my flip-flops and bolted out of the dormitory. Ma Jie, who was still peeking over, called out, “Where are you going?”

  “Get lost.”

  He immediately retracted his head, clearly accustomed to my temperamental moods.

  I dashed down the corridor, my heart thundering in my chest. As I stepped outside, I nearly collided head-on with Zheng Wu, who was returning from the washroom, his hair still damp and a plastic basin in his hands. He caught sight of me and blurted, “Hey, Zuo Fei, I heard you confessed and got rejected? Damn, I told you to borrow my lucky jacket—”

  I didn’t bother to respond. I veered around him and kept running.