“We, the Twelve, found ourselves in an open meadow of lush, green blades of grass, surrounded by deep green pines. The role of a wall was played so eloquently by the thickness of the trees. Light shone on the meadow as a spotlight on a stage, with flecks of metallic shimmering dust daintily floating in the air, creating a near rainbow-esque reflection. A bowl-like, light gray, rock formation lay at the center of the meadow. The rock emitted a faint, almost imperceivable aura, so faint, when staring at it, your mind could not decide if it was actually present. A brilliant, shimmering liquid was pooled in the rock, moving unlike any liquid here in your land, almost as if it had life of its own, darting and dashing in places while slowly swirling in others. It is difficult to describe these first moments, as in many ways we were as a newborn baby in your land, while in other ways possessing the full faculties of an adult. We Malakh are not all knowing, though when spoken, we do possess higher levels of knowledge than your people.
As confusing as this all sounds, I assure you we were far more confused, and I hope in time, as I grew to understand, you will as well. Speaker and his son, whom I would later learn were always patient and never wasted a word, observed all twelve of us in what appeared to be humble adoration. Though we did not know it, we were to this point, his greatest work. Power, creativity, knowledge, and honor so eloquently, so precisely woven into one, though his truly greatest intricacy would not become known for some time. We did not need to learn a language as we were spoken already understanding the language of the land.” Seeing the perplexed look on Kai’s face, Mik stated, “You need to remember though your people are born infants, with no knowledge, this was not always the proper manner of things. In time it will make more sense, but suffice to say my appearance and ability to speak are the same now as they were in that moment.”
Mik continued, “The twelve of us, while we later learned we were immediately capable of communication and already possessing some small levels of knowledge, did not possess any prior interactions with each other or with Speaker to establish any order or hierarchy. As a child who just switched schools entering the cafeteria, there was an unknown status, rank, or value structure amongst all those in the meadow, creating a slightly awkward first few moments. I suppose this period of unknown could have been when everything started, the more I have thought about it, this is likely when it all started. For that brief period of time, it felt as though we were all equal, including Speaker. Whether it was through the natural ebbs and flows as a river finds its way to the sea, or it was simply the proper manner of things, this unknown hierarchical status did not remain in place long.
It is a peculiar thing to not exist one moment, and to suddenly exist the next. While your people being born with little to no faculties outside of thirst and hunger presents plenty of complications, suddenly existing with the ability to communicate and care for yourself presents an almost more complicated situation. It creates a unique moment in which no external influences have manipulated one’s responses, “nature versus nurture”, as your people like to call it, at its most extreme. When you have nothing with which to base your mannerisms, demeanor, or actions, nothing to manipulate or construe your responses, you get a truly untarnished view of a person's natural, innate personality. All this said, several of the twelve, the far more cautious, found themselves clustered together, tense as gladiators standing back to back in the arena, an almost natural response to pursue the sense of security they innately longed for. None of the Malakh know fear in the way many of your people do. It is not to say they don’t fear, but rather it is an entirely different perspective and one that will make far more sense in time. Several of the more thoughtful or contemplative of the twelve remained separated from the group in quiet observation, I initially being one of them. The remaining few, the naturally bold, postured in a way to present what you would likely call a perceived lack of fear. We were all what you would describe as male, though there was no counterpart to a male at the time of the speaking. What you describe as females were certainly spoken but not until later.
Mik addressed Kai directly asking, “Do you have memories in your mind from when you were a child, you aren’t quite certain the context, but you have a fairly vivid memory of you being in a specific place, or perhaps doing a specific thing?”
Kai silently nodded. Mik continued, “That moment will be forever burned into my mind. These men would become my dearest companions, and I to them, not necessarily due to a particular friendship with any of them, but more the common bond a military unit experiences due to a shared mission. As I observed the other eleven, no words having been spoken between any of us yet, one in particular stood out. Perhaps due to his physical stature being above the average of the twelve, perhaps his piercing green eyes, or obsidian black hair, or perhaps it was his bold demeanor, to step forward when everyone else seemed uncertain at best. He would become my dearest friend, my brother, and we would become the inner circle.”
Mik gazed into the fire, clearly deep in thought or perhaps reminiscing about a bygone time. Kai, likewise trudging through the depths of his own mind, felt as if Mik was drawing on the energy, the very lifeforce of the fire itself with his gaze. Certainly Kai’s mind must be playing tricks. There is most certainly no way the fire actually faded as Mik’s eyes grew brighter. There is no way Mik’s armor beneath his cloak cast that radiant glow out of the top near his neckline as he continued to stare into the fire. As a mirage to a lost desert wanderer, Kai’s mind must be succumbing to the fatigue of the later hour. That said, Kai could not help but wonder who this man was. Mik, slowly looked up, and the fire began to glow bright again. Kai’s eyes must be fatigued. That was it.
Following the silent, thoughtful pause, Mik continued, “His name was App. Like Speaker, he does of course possess a real name, a name for another time. As the others soaked in their surroundings, App seemed as if he had already assessed both the nature and beings in his presence, and had determined Speaker to be the alpha. While App did not show any signs of concern or fear of those around him, he did continuously monitor me out of the corner of his eye. To this day, I’ll never know if he perceived me as an equal, a threat, or a nuisance in that moment, and he would never admit to even noticing me.
App approached Speaker and began a conversation unheard but seen by all. Suddenly, a deep, hearty laugh came from Speaker. A brilliant, warm smile radiated through the meadow, instantly placing everyone at ease. His gentle gaze moved from one of pride to love, as a mother holding a newborn child. Speaker placed a single hand on App’s shoulder as he meekly stepped forward. By this time the group of cautious Malakh had eased, however, remained in a half-moon, shoulder to shoulder formation, appreciating the sense of security afforded by the others nearest. The contemplative group, including myself, had moved forward into the meadow, while the remaining bold group had stepped even closer to Speaker, almost as if following App.
The groups had formed a makeshift wedge with the bold group at the center. As Speaker approached the wedge, his persona radiated controlled strength, each step decisive, his footing always sure, his gaze never leaving the eyes of the group in front of him. When his gentle brown eyes met yours, even for the briefest of moments, your body filled with warmth, and your mind with peace. Any worries, concerns or doubt did not seem to matter any longer. Even the greatest of anxieties, the unknown, was no longer a thought. A sense of value or worth filled you to the very depths of your being. Without a word, we all knew he had spoken us, we all knew he cared for us, we all knew he was proud of us. Without a word, we each knew we were forever in his debt. We each knew it was an honor to even be in his presence, and yet, he looked at us as if he was it was his honor to be near us.
Speaker, gently stepping forward towards the tip of the wedge, his strength radiating from his presence as a stronger magnet pushes weaker magnets away without ever actually touching, pushing the wedge back, turning our group into a half circle. In a moment of complete unknown, each of the Malakh remained resolute, their very being filled with peace. Speaker, gently, yet boldly stated his name, his real name. It was the first, and the only time we heard it used. The mere utterance of the name caused the liquid in the nearby rocks to ripple, the blades of grass to stretch, the leaves of the trees to spin while the branches bowed, and suddenly, a great wind hurled through the meadow. It was over as fast as it started, however, any doubt in the feelings we had all felt, immediately ceased. Whoever we were was nowhere near the power and authority of Speaker.
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He graciously nodded at each of the twelve, individually welcoming them. I suppose this welcome felt as if it was a welcome to the land as a whole, but in many ways it was a welcome to this intimate place in the meadow. It wasn’t until later that we even began to understand the hallowed ground we were standing on. As he addressed each individual, he called them by name, their real name. As each name was spoken, it felt as when a power source is connected to a device, immediately engaging a system and the array of tools it possesses. There was a tangible energy in the air, not visible, but a power far more immense than we understood then, and at times I wonder if we understand now.
He then turned back towards App and approached him for the first of twelve individual conversations. Their conversation continued for some time, Speaker communicating softly, seeming to desire the content of the conversation to remain private. App, ever the bold, responded loud enough for the others in the meadow to hear, though I am not quite sure if that was intentional or simply App being App and Speaker being Speaker. After what appeared to have been a heartfelt conversation on both sides, he once again placed a hand on App’s shoulder, an almost genial grin on his face, and he gave him a final nod before moving to the next.
Each of the remaining conversations was an individual, private conversation. The meadow felt electrified as a concert, yet solemn as a courtroom, those having gone filled with pride and purpose, while those still waiting as a batter on deck in the ninth inning. The magnitude of this moment would remain lost on all those involved for a very long time to come. I suppose this is one of the downfalls of being spoken into existence with no context with which to base an opinion on.
As methodical as a physician taking shift change report, taking immense interest in each little detail, Speaker continued his rounds. App, having been the first to receive his name, and the group behind him following, were now silently watching. App and I made eye contact, and I felt a measure of courage as a soldier might looking into the eyes of a seemingly fearless sergeant. It was that feeling you might experience when taunted by upcoming decisions, yet knowing the person standing next to you relished in making the difficult decisions, therefore the burden would not fall to you.
App continued to watch as Speaker approached me. While that first moment of Speaker’s gaze will remain a memory forever, the most impactful moment of my existence was this first, intimate conversation with Speaker. Perhaps I wasn’t paying close enough attention to the others' interactions, or perhaps it truly was different, but this first conversation felt much longer than the others' conversations had been. Unfortunately, Speaker requested the words shared in this moment to remain between us, though over time you will certainly see the instructions I was given as I carried them out. As a father teaches his young son in the finer arts of hunting, or a coach pours into a young quarterback, seeking to inspire, yet educate, to instruct, yet empower, so this moment was. This was the moment of guidance that would dictate every decision I would make, up to this very day. Oh, let me be clear, there would be plenty of room for my own decisions and creativity, but the mission that was set forth from this moment was crystal clear, and served as my litmus test for each moment and decision I was required to make and continue to make. Whether the time spent conversing was longer than the others, I’ll never truly know, however, at the conclusion of the conversation, Speaker firmly placed a hand on each of my shoulders while facing me, and gently stared into my eyes. We did not speak, we did not break eye contact, we did not move. This moment served as a commission of sorts, as a law enforcement officer being sworn in. Without sharing a word in this final moment, Speaker staring deeply into not just my eyes, but the very depths of my being, my greatest mission was given to me. A mission I continue to this very day.
In hindsight, it was completely disrespectful, but in the moment it was almost a subconscious effort. As Speaker moved to the man standing next to me, I listened to him present his name. He had a younger appearance than myself, with dark tan skin, brown observant eyes, long brown hair, and no facial hair. He was one of the shorter of the twelve. Parts of the conversation were broken, and in the moment I did not think much of it but looking back, it feels as if Speaker knew the importance of our future friendship for what lay ahead and desired for me to be a part of the conversation. This man was and is a dear friend. We will call him Tabi. Unlike my contemplative self, or the proud App, Tabi seemed to represent a common ground, a boldness, yet caution, direct, yet contemplative. His reverent conversation was the first of so many I would see them have. Tabi, if nothing else, maintains a loyalty of a degree that will never be repeated.
Speaker concluded the rounds, each of the twelve having been personally given their name and their purpose, and moved back to the front of the group with the same conviction of step as before. The electricity in the air only seemed to further charge as he stood in front of us. He conscientiously observed each member of the twelve one more time, before he asked, “Who’s hungry?” While the concept of hunger registered immediately upon the question being asked, the remedy or the purpose did not. This was yet another conundrum of being spoken as an adult with a limited knowledge base. Most importantly, it felt odd. How could such a charged moment, whether it be spiritual, mental, or emotional, end with asking who was hungry? This, this very moment, was Speaker. An incredibly intimate moment, maybe the most intimate, to be suddenly commensurated with the sharing of a meal. His love for joy, his love for us, his love for life, radiated through his gentle tone, his controlled strength, his little smirk, not one of arrogance but of a proud father looking down upon his child. He was truly captivating.”
Kai found himself staring at Mik lost in his words. There was a tangible reverence with each word as Mik reflected on a time long past, a time according to Mik, that existed outside of time itself. Mik, no longer gazing at the fire, nor at the stars, but into the dark distance, as a student in a terribly boring chemistry class, snapped back to the present, noticing Kai was staring at him. Unlike most who are caught daydreaming Mik did not show any signs of embarrassment, but for just the briefest of moments, grief, depths of your soul grief, appeared and was gone before Kai could even be sure. The two sat in silence, a symphony of the night's crickets filling the silence. What a simple sound, what a peaceful sound. Mik seemed to expect questions, but Kai did not dare shatter such an intimate moment.
Mik, ever observant, understood and appreciated the respect and continued, “Speaker’s son beckoned all of us to follow him. It could have been conjured from thin air or could have been there the entire time, I will never know but certainly hadn’t noticed it before, a dirt path leading into the thick grove of pines. The path was a simple dirt path lined with light gray stones, similar to the outcropping of stones at the center of the meadow. The twelve, still very uncertain of the hierarchy, not yet knowing the proper manner of things followed Speaker’s son towards the path.
As we walked towards the path we passed the outcropping of rocks filled with the liquid. The liquid grew timid as we approached, almost as a child attempting to hide in plain sight during hide-n-seek. Several of us, including App, Tabi, and myself found ourselves completely stopped, staring into the liquid. What a peculiar substance. With us standing over it, the substance became so still, far more glass-like than an undisturbed lake at sunrise. It nearly appeared no longer liquid, but a solid. Speaker’s son, looking back at us, a gracious smile on his face, clearly bemused by our curiosity, stated, “That is Ruach. You will learn about it soon enough. For now, let us eat!”
We slowly began to shuffle towards Speaker’s son at the threshold of the path. We were all mesmerized by this so-called Ruach, turning our necks like an ostrich as we continued to walk towards the path. As I look back, this was a most peculiar moment, such a quick transition from where we were spoken to a completely different place. The path represented the unknown. While we knew we were moving on from the utmost peace and tranquility of the meadow, we had no idea we were moving towards majestic greatness. The path was the beginning of the journey of the Malakh.”
