“The answer is simple. What is 14 x 3 – 7? Ok…”

  Bug looks down at her fingers and starts counting.

  14, 28, 42, minus 7, so…

  “Thirty-five?”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  With a loud, negative buzzing sound that has Bug holding her ears, a red light flashes a bunch of times, clearly signally her answer as wrong.

  “What!? But I, holy shit!”

  A hatch in the ceiling swings open and out pours a bunch of water. Acting quickly, Bug moves her wings up and spreads them wide, covering her whole body like a big umbrella. With a splash, the water hits her and continues to flow, cascading down to the floor for a long few seconds like she is standing under a waterfall.

  The trap door closes, and with water filling the floor as puddles and flowing into little drainage pipes at the base of the walls, Bug peeks out from behind her wings and curses.

  “What the hell? I got that correct, didn’t I!? Maybe it didn’t hear me right?”

  Clearing her throat with a little cough, Bug repeats herself, speaking clearly and evenly.

  “Thirty, Five.”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  “Ahhhhh!”

  Holding off another torrent of water splashing down on her, Bug screams. As soon as the water stops, she runs forward, splashing through a puddle, and give the stupid door in front of her an angry, wet kick, leaving a wet footprint on the metal door.

  “I know that was right! I Have Mathematics level 1, damn it! So I know that it is multiplication first, then subtraction. Fourteen times three is forty-two. Forty-two minus seven is thirty-five! The answer is thirty-five!”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  Another splash of water leaves Bug standing ankle deep in water, feeling rightfully pissed. After all, she got it right! Didn’t she?

  Instead of immediately giving the same answer again, Bug just rereads the door’s dumb riddle again.

  “The answer is simple. What is 14 x 3 - 7? What if the Dungeon did the math wrong? Maybe it subtracted first… But how would that work? Three minus seven, you would have to go lower than zero. Can you do that? Or maybe, it’s seven minus three? So, four times fourteen then… Fifty-Six?

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  “…Ok, so it wasn’t that. Let’s try the seven minus three way. Can you go less than zero? I… guess? So, four less than zero… minus? Is the answer minus fifty-six?”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  “OH, fuck you, I’m trying my best here! Ooh, I leveled up Mathematics, nice. Huh… negative numbers. So, you can go less than zero, cool. Still, the correct answer should be thirty-six. Oh no, wait, I wasn’t giving an answ-!”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  “Mother fucker! The answer is your mother!”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  “Hah, hah, hah… Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

  Glaring at the door like it just personally insulted her, Bug reads it over again.

  “The answer is simple. What do you mean!? I gave you the right answer and clearly it isn’t simple! If the answer was so simple, I would have found it… already……. The answer is simple… I swear, I am going to murder someone for this.”

  “Haaah… Is the answer, simple?”

  *Bing Bong!*

  With a happy sound effect like she just won a game, and a green light flashing, the large metal door opens up.

  Bug doesn’t say anything, just standing there in a puddle as she tries not to curse. Taking out a piece of candy, she pops it in her mouth and then gets walking.

  “Ok… that was annoying, but I made it through. Now I just need to get the rest of the way and find my minion. Please be Bob, please be… Oh, mother fu-mrmr~! Ahhh!”

  Turning a corner, she finds another door.

  “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Alright, what’s the riddle this time?”

  Walking up to the door, she gives it a read.

  “If you have one of me, you will be fine. If you have two, you are in danger. Three, and you will die. What am I?”

  Bug takes a while to think over her answer, reading over the riddle a couple of times.

  What am I? Maybe it is like the last one, and I just have to ignore the rest of it?

  “Door?”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  The red light flashes and Bug quickly raises her wings, fully expecting to get splashed again. Instead, the corridor behind her slams shut as a large stone slab slides down from the ceiling, locking her in.

  “Ahh… ok. That’s not good, is it…”

  One of me, you will be fine. Two, you are in danger. Three, you die… What could it be? Not money, or treasures. You want lots of that. Food, no. Friends? Always want more. Minions? I want mine back. It has to be something bad, right? Three of something that could kill me… Sickness, disease, injures… oh, enemies! That could work, right? What else… I guess I could just try that one.

  “Enemies?”

  *BIINNNNGGGGGG!*

  Again, the red lights flash and this time, the walls to her left and right start to shift. With a loud shake and the sound of moving gears, the walls on either side of the hall start to move inward. With the hall growing narrower, Bug quickly looks around and tries to find anything she can do to stop it.

  But there is nothing she can do to stop the walls from moving. Even ordering all her Undead to push against the walls doesn’t even slow them a bit.

  Starting to panic a little, Bug is about to blurt out her next answer to the door when the walls suddenly stop moving on their own. The hall is now half as wide as it used to be.

  “Well, that was close…”

  She looks at the slab blocking her way out and then towards the walls. Each one having happened in response to getting an answer wrong.

  “I’m guessing that one more mistake will get me killed then? I’ll have to think extra carefully about my next… wait… Haaaaaaah, I hate riddles. The answer is mistakes.”

  *Bing Bong!*

  Green light flashes and the walls return to where they were, the slab sliding back up into the ceiling. With the door opening, Bug walks through, her Undead following through. Mimmie hadn’t even stirred from its sleep despite all the noise, just snoozing away inside its cage with its long grey tongue lolling out the side of its mouth. The little critter isn’t even bothering to close up its brick while it sleeps, just happily snoring like it is sawing logs.

  Or maybe it can’t close up? Mimmie is looking a little chunky now. Am I overfeeding it, maybe? Hm, but it just looks so happy and content when it is full… Still, maybe I should cut back a little on its feedings.

  Bug watches as Mimmie lets out a little burb and then licks one of its eyes in its sleep, drool slowly spilling down the side of its smiling mouth.

  Probably dreaming about eating… Cute little glutton~

  Any thoughts of putting Mimmie on a diet falling away from her mind, Bug smiles and returns to the task at hand. Nothing quite like some cuteness to help get your mind off of almost being crushed.

  “Alright, is there another stupid riddle? What’s next?”

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  They proceed through the now open doorway, Bug climbing back onto her mount to save her bruised body from any more walking. Progressing down a long hallway and then a set of stairs, Bug finds yet another door at the end, with lit braziers standing at both sides.

  There is no riddle written on the metal door this time, and instead, there is just a wheel for unlocking it. Sending a skeleton forward to open the door, Bug is let into a large square room with four more blazing braziers, one set in each corner of the room.

  “Ok, what am I supposed to do in here? I don’t see anything…”

  There is no door on the opposite side of the room, so unless the walls are supposed to open in some way, this is clearly the end of this route. Looking around the room, Bug directs her minions to enter ahead of her, zombie Lizard Men out in front, and then directs her mount to carry her in as well.

  “There’s nothing in here? What is the point of th-”

  *Slam!*

  Bug spins around, the door she just entered from having slammed shut and several metal bars sliding down in front of the door to further show that it will not be reopened.

  “Hey!”

  Rushing back to the door, she looks it over, but it is obvious that she won’t be able to open it. Behind her, the braziers’ fire grows in intensity and more light fills the room, drawing Bug’s attention back around again.

  Turning, she tries to find what is about to happen, but can’t see anything. Nothing but her zombies milling about as they spread out through the room.

  *Drip*

  With Bug’s acute hearing, she hears something drip from the center of the room. Looking up at the brick ceiling, she finds what seems like blue water seeping out from between the bricks, droplets falling with increasing frequency as more and more of the ceiling is becoming layered in the liquid.

  It continues to build and grow larger as if fed from some unseen source, somehow holding onto the ceiling like an extra-large and fat raindrop.

  Watching with amazement, Bug forgets to react as it finally grows large enough to where it can’t hold onto the ceiling any longer. With an audible plop, it detaches and falls. Bug half-expects it pop and explode when it hits the floor. But the thing just lands and jiggles like a giant thing of gelatine.

  “Oh, woops.”

  Trapped inside is three of her zombies, who had been in the center of the room. Being zombies, they obviously don’t panic or anything, just awaiting further orders. And honestly, Bug doesn’t care about her zombies all that much yet, so she just sits there and watches them with interest.

  It takes a moment, but slowly, the zombies start to dissolve and fall apart inside of the liquid, turning into skeletons over the course of a couple of minutes as Bug watches and the jiggly liquid happily eats.

  “Identify…”

  ‘Lvl20 Slime. The larger cousin of the humble Jelly, Slimes are omnivorous predators that will eat everything and anything in their path, save for inorganic materials. At larger sizes, Slimes become capable of devouring entire villages whole; literally eating all of the buildings and leaving almost nothing behind. It is recommended that these creatures be exterminated on sight, before they have a chance to grow and multiply.’

  “Huh… It really does look like a bigger Jelly. I wonder if the skin is usable for candy making, like Jelly skin is? Can you guys move?”

  Inside of the Slime, the zombies-turned-skeletons try to move around and walk, but they are floating in the Sime’s viscous fluids now and don’t seem to be able to escape. The bones are holding up well enough to the digestion though, so they will probably survive for a while in there.

  Once all the meat has dissolved off of their bodies though, the Slime stops happily jiggling and then goes still. It stays like that for a few moments, little vibrations running through its body as it seems to be doing, something?

  Still, even faced with a nearly house sized Slime, Bug isn’t particularly worried. After all, she kills Jellies all the time. She has a whole stack of their skins in her Inventory. The little buggers are so numerous on every floor of the Dungeon, that it just isn't worth even mentioning every time that she kills one. Heck, often times, they get killed on accident just by her minions stepping on them while walking. Just how dangerous could a Slime be?

  Pulling a spear out of her Inventory, Bug tosses it over to another Lizard Man zombie.

  “Here, go and pop it.”

  The zombie lets out a crocodilian'esc moan, and then walks over to the vibrating Slime. With a powerful stab, it pierces the side of the Slime with the spear…

  And nothing happens…

  “Ah, so not as weak as a Jelly. But that’s fine, I’m sure that it shouldn’t be too hard to kill.”

  The Slime stops vibrating, and in a sudden and lightning quick motion, two tentacles of slime extend out of its body and snatch the zombie, quickly pulling the Undead into its body before it can even so much as fight back.

  “Holy shit!”

  Taking out a bunch of swords and daggers (All stolen) from her Inventory, Bug throws them on the ground and orders her minions to wield them.

  “Kill that thing! Make it pop!”

  Lizard Men and skeletons run forward, their weapons held high as they charge in and slash at the Slime from all sides. But their weapons just harmlessly pass through the thing as it happily jiggles and eats the meal it caught. It doesn’t take long until the Lizard Man inside of it is reduced to nothing but a clean skeleton, still stabbing away with the spear inside of it, even as the wood of the shaft is dissolved into nothing, leaving a floating spear head.

  Once that meal is finished, the Slime promptly snatches another two zombies, quickly pulling them into its body as they continue to swing their swords. None of it works.

  “Well, this isn’t good…” Bug says to herself as she watches her minions be turned into skeletons two at a time.

  Still, she isn’t too worried, yet. After all, it’s not like her minions are being destroyed. All the ones that got eaten are still functioning properly. All it is, is that they had all the flesh dissolved off their bodies…

  Bug looks down at herself.

  I have flesh…

  She looks around the room.

  No way out…

  She looks back to her dwindling supply of flesh covered zombies…

  Bug finally starts to panic.

  “Quickly, get away from it! To the walls, hurry! Spread out, spread out!”

  They scatter, zombies running in every direction, and Bug’s mount carrying her back to the door. Only the skeletons remain, still attacking the Slime. It completely ignores them, simply allowing them to continue attacking it jiggling liquid without a care.

  Once its latest meal is digested and reduced to bones, it starts to vibrate again. Just sitting there and vibrating for a while as Bug watches it with both curiosity and concern. Watching for the moment that it will do something, anything.

  And eventually, it does. It starts to move.

  Oscillating like a living puddle, the Slime slowly moves across the floor, heading towards the largest gathering of zombies.

  Bug starts to calm down a little. The big thing isn’t all that fast. Still, there is only so much room in here, and the Slime is already taking up about an eighth of the room just by itself.

  “Keep on the move, don’t let it get too close. No groups larger than three. Skeletons, continue to attack it, let's see if anything will work on it.”

  Observing the battle, if it can even be called that, Bug hears a loud, fear filled hiss sound out from behind her. Turning around, she finds Mimmie having woken up from its nap, looking frightened.

  The poor little thing is looking wide-eyed at the Slime and desperately trying to close up its shell. But it can’t. No matter how much it strains itself, the fat little critter just can’t seem to turn back into a proper brick anymore. The mouth part of its body is visibly bulging out from the safety of its brick, and even as its grey skin turns back into red rock, fighting like a fat man trying to put on some tight pants, the best that Mimmie can manage is to make itself look like a brick with a cracked open protrusion on one side, like someone added too much material when making this one.

  Bug, despite the situation, has to actually keep herself from laughing as she watches this.

  Ok, I have definitely overfed Mimmie. Poor little guy.

  “Don’t worry, Mimmie. The Slime isn’t going to get you. I’ll kill it… As soon as I figure out how…”

  Bug’s reassurances don’t help Mimmie very much, and it continue to try and hide, and fail. Bug isn’t aware of this fact, but Slimes are a natural predator to Mimics. Being a creature that doesn’t move around much, Mimics are largely defenseless against a hunting Slime. When a Slime finds a Mimic, it will completely cover them with its body so that there is no way out. And then, it waits. The Slime can effectively wait forever, but the Mimic cannot. Eventually, it will have to open its shell. And when it does, the Slime will flood in through even the tiniest crack to get at the Mimic’s delicious, soft insides. And much like a tasty clam on the sea floor being preyed on by a starfish, it will be eaten and left as nothing but an empty shell, completely unable to fight back.

  For Mimmie, its every instinct is currently screaming that it is about to die. Poor Mimmie.

  Leaving Mimmie to have a panic attack behind her, Bug focuses on the Slime. The blades don’t seem to be doing any damage at all. She’s just thankful that the Slime doesn’t seem all that interested in the skeletons. As long as they stay out of its way as it slowly chases after the zombies, it seems like they will be safe. And thankfully, the Undead have limitless stamina.

  Probably part of the design for this fight. You can outrun it easily, but there is nowhere to go in this room. For a human, eventually, they would tire out and it will catch them. That won’t be a problem for me, luckily. Now, what else can I try. Poison?

  Taking a throwing knife out, Bug uses Create Deadly Poison and coats the entire blade in the green liquid. With a casual throw, the poison covered knife flies across the room and into the body of the Slime.

  She watches and waits… Nothing. The poison just floats there in its body as a green cloud, the Slime seemingly not even noticing at all.

  “Well, was worth a try. Next…”

  Bug looks around the room, leaving the Slime to its chase and Mimmie to its panic attack. It has apparently given up on bricking and is now chewing on the bars of its cage to try and escape. Does it think that it can outrun the Slime?

  "Hmm, ice? Looks like my hoarfrost skeletons are freezing it a little, but it isn't doing much. Maybe if I use my ice aura at full power? But I don't want to get too close in case it tries to grab me..."

  Eventually, Bug’s eyes settle on the braziers in each corner of the room.

  They were by the entrance too… Some kind of hint, maybe?

  Deciding to test it, Bug takes a lit torch out of her inventory and chucks it at the Slime.

  *Pop!*

  With a loud pop, a small part of the Slime explodes the second it comes into contact with the fire. It quickly heals right after though, the blown off section just refilling instantly.

  Looks like that made it a little smaller, I think? So, fire could work. The torch went out though, so it will need relit.

  “Pick up that torch and light it in the fire over there” Bug orders the nearest skeleton.

  Holding the torch in the flames, it takes a bit to relight, but when it does, Bug has the skeleton run over and poke the Slime with the torch.

  *Pop!*

  Again, it explodes a bit and blue liquid goes flying. The torch goes out however, and Bug has to order the skeleton to run back and light it again.

  “This is going to be a while… Hey, the rest of you, lead it to the fire, see what happens!”

  While the skeleton is busy running back and forth, blowing up small chunks of the Slime, the zombies run and hide behind the braziers. The Slime follows, but stops a good distance away, clearly not liking the fire.

  “Looks like fire is the trick, but this is going to take forever. At this rate, Mimmie is going to have a heart attack before this thing dies…”

  With the zombies safe and out of reach, the Slime eventually turns its attention to the only available source of meat that it can reach. It turns and starts heading towards Bug. But by this point, all her fear of the Slime has fallen away. She just orders her mount to carry her behind one of the braziers. With all the food having moved out of reach the Slime just sits there and vibrates as the skeletons continue to assault it and pop it with torches.

  Looking like it is thinking, it takes a long while for the brainless thing to decide what to do next. It chooses to attack everything around it. Maybe losing too much biomass has made it start to worry? Or maybe it finally figured out that the skeletons are actually enemies, and not just meatless piles of bones? Bug doesn’t know, but the giant Slime has started to swing it slimy tendrils all over the place and is smacking skeletons aside left and right.

  Still, it doesn’t seem to be doing much…

  Against a tasty human, these attacks would end with someone getting grabbed and eaten. But for Bug’s big thick boney boys, the attacks are just throwing them around and maybe knocking off a head or two, which are just promptly picked back up and reattached like a dropped hat.

  This fight is just a bad match up honestly. It’s just a matter of time until the Slime is dead.

  Still, Bug has places to be, and she wants her minions back. She doesn’t have time to sit here and wait for this thing to die. With how slow this is going; it could take hours!

  And then, suddenly, inspiration hits!

  If the little fire from a torch isn’t enough, then what if more fire?

  With a big smile, and feeling like an absolute genius, Bug issues her absolutely amazing order that is sure to end this and have no negative consequences whatsoever!

  “You! Light yourself on fire and jump into the Slime!”

  The zombie that got singled out, without a single complaint, happily flops its reptilian body onto the brazier and lets the flames engulf its body. Once the zombie is properly on fire, it gets back up and sprints for the Slime. The big thing seems to recoil at the big fire charging towards it, but it is too slow to stop the suicide zombie from fulfilling its final task.

  It jumps, and Bug cheers.

  “Yes, die you stupid Slime, die! Hahahahaha-”

  *POP!!!*

  Slime goes flying in every direction, Bug still mid laugh and pointing victoriously. With a splat, every surface in the room is promptly, and utterly, covered in blue, sticky, slimy juices. Including Bug…

  “- Ahhhhhhh!!! It got in my mouth! Ughhh, my clothes, it’s in my hair! Nonononono, wait, my clothes, my clothes are melting?! Why!? Ah, stop, no!”

  Little did Bug know, but Slime fluid, while largely harmless to a person outside of a Slime’s body, having lost its ability to digest meat, it does have the strange, magical property of dissolving fabric for some strange, yet to be fully understood reason. Within moments, Bug was not only covered in slime, but was also naked, save for her leather chest guard and her jewelry.

  “Why!?!?”