"Oi, mate? Where you from, mate? Betta' run them pockets nice and safely now or you ain't leavin' to feed your pet parrot tonight!"

  "Alright, alright!! This is all I have on me..!"

  A typical morning in the UK!

  It's a good time to be alive right now! The snow would definitely be the least of your problems when there're people walking around stabbing others with a ski mask.

  I had bought cup noodles from a nearby store but it seems like I have no place to eat them in.

  This park—or whatever this frozen place is will do.

  I went over to one of the metal benches but it turns out the paint wasn't dry yet.

  "Bollocks!" I scowled as I walked off with my food. The ice was unexpectedly slippery so instead of sitting down, I gathered all of my strength to remain standing in the middle of the freezing winter.

  The cup was already open, slipping even a tiny bit would cause the noodles to fly out. I had a spare fork in my pocket for this moment alone, but then I accidentally stabbed it into the cup.

  "Great." I sighed.

  When I pulled the fork out, the hot noodles spilled to the ice below me, causing it to become fragile enough to shatter under my weight.

  *Splash*

  The realization that I was standing on a frozen lake quickly hit me, but was cup noodles even hot enough to melt ice?!

  "Cup noodles shouldn't be able to break ice!!" I thought to myself as I desperately try to get back to the surface.

  Once I reached the surface, I do my best to regain my stamina when a tree abruptly snaps and falls to my head, crushing me and bringing me back into the water.

  Doesn't this feel like a certain movie?

  Well, it probably doesn't matter now that I'm met with a death screen—like when you die in that one block game!

  Everything is bright red for some reason...

  "Is this really death? Aw shucks." I said to myself, waiting for something to appear.

  Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

  A few minutes pass and then I could see properly again. Most of what I could perceive with my eyes was that I was under the deep blue sea and there were bubbles floating back to the surface.

  For some odd reason, I could breathe normally here.

  I thought I was experiencing some kind of insanity until a man—or something shaped like a man appeared.

  He walked on surface tension, to put it simply.

  The man was standing on the surface of the water, and he had no facial features, he was just stone shaped like a man.

  "Welcome... Welcome to the primordial sea of all earthly creation..." Said the man walking above me.

  Now, insects normally walk on surface tension because of science whatevers, mostly because of their size and weight so creatures as big as humans shouldn't be able to do that. Moreover, he's walking underwater!

  I've read about a special man like him before, but that man only walked on the surface of the water, not under the water. And there's no possible way this guy could be Jesus, right?

  "I am one of the 8 good angels of the 4 cardinal directions. I am Uwmll, the angel of the east who specializes in recreation." He states. "You have been brought after a tragic accident, and normally we shouldn't interfere with life and death, but you have rather made quite the death if I do say so myself. In other words, the chances of you dying there were so low that the world experienced difficulties in trying to prevent it from happening. Instead of fixing it in the end, it decided to give up and split itself in two."

  "Peculiar... I thought myself that I simply got dragged into water, but I suppose an ocean would be strange in a British city." I replied.

  "Not to worry however, because as it turns out, it was simply the fault of the world. For a British person like you, I don't expect you to know or have heard about the double-slit experiment, but in simple terms, this entire thing is basically just like it. The world, or may I say the macrocosm, experienced your death taking place and predicted an outlandish bounce in the structure of space which will disturb and possibly destroy multiple galaxies, so it opted to stop it, but in the end, it only resulted in you getting hit by the tree after getting out the water."

  "Jesus H. Christ!"

  "Unfortunately or fortunately for you, you have balanced your sinful and good acts counter, and so with your unplanned death, we have decided to send your consciousness off to a different world as it is considered the best option."

  "What?! Who decided that?! I just wanna be a ghost or something, man! Don't give me another life in this stupid planet again!"

  "Well. Can't help it. I'm only an angel, you ought to ask my manager, god, for that. Though, I will answer your first question practically: It was through process of elimination."

  And then my vision started to get blurry and I slowly felt like I was drowning under the ocean like I was supposed to in the first place.

  "Wait! If you're gonna do that, please let me continue living as a human or something! Or actually, a rabbit—or no, a dinosaur or anything that's not miserable!!"

  "May thine soul resteth without stint until thy return." His voice echoed as I gradually lose consciousness.

  I feel like this guy mixed some things up. Reincarnation isn't supposed to be literal in your religion! Isn't reincarnation only in Buddhism?!

  I don't wanna live in a place like this again!!