Chapter 111

  There were three people sitting in the room.

  The assistant brought Luo Fei to the middle of the house and introduced him to the three people: "This is Luo Fei, from Art Song Company."

  Luo Fei bowed slightly and then his assistant introduced these three people one by one.

  The one on the far right is the deputy director, in charge of actor-related matters, and Ruo Fei has met him before. The man on the far left is dressed casually, holding a mobile phone that's almost as big as a brick, swaying it back and forth, only looking up to glance at him when introduced by the assistant, then lowering his head to play with his phone again. This is the producer. The one in the middle looks quite frail, older than he appears on TV, Ruo Fei has been watching his movies since he was a teenager, never thinking that he would meet him in person that day.

  It is Ren Jilin.

  Ren Jilin didn't look like an assistant director, his gaze was gentle and soft. Nor did he look like a producer, who wouldn't even give you a straight glance. His eyes were calm, even a bit cold, with a piercing gaze that seemed to be sizing him up. Luo Fei felt as if he wasn't auditioning for the role, but rather being judged for committing a crime.

  Luo Fei felt uneasy under such a gaze, and the words that Li Jin had instructed him to say were all forgotten, he could only stare back at Director Ren with his eyes.

  "Lu Fei?" The producer said while tapping on his phone, "I've heard of him before, the runner-up of Star Voice Generation."

  The deputy director smiled and took over: "Shu Mu thinks highly of him."

  "Is that so?" The producer glanced at the deputy director with a sarcastic tone, "But I heard that Xīng Shēng Dài Guàn Jūn only played a male supporting role, and ài Jūn came to try out for the second male lead... isn't that a bit inappropriate?"

  The deputy director was choked for a moment, just about to refute, Ren Jilin suddenly spoke up.

  "In Act 7, Ning Hui pretends to be ill, hoping to stay behind for that scene with Father. You act it out for me."

  Luo Fei was taken aback for a moment.

  Ren Jilin said that today's script is the seventh scene, Father Ning Xi finally got a supporting role after much effort, but had to leave home for three months to shoot on location. He reluctantly entrusted his son Ning Hui to the care of neighbors. Originally planning to leave at midnight, his clever son sensed it and refused to let him go, even pretending to be ill.

  What is it like when someone with manic depression becomes ill?

  When Kuo Fei was doing his homework earlier, he had watched a related video. He thought for a moment, and suddenly, his limbs twitched at an extremely strange angle.

  Not only did his limbs tremble, but his head also twisted back and forth in sync. Those who knew him said he was having an episode of mania, while those who didn't thought he had lice and couldn't scratch them off. To be fair, Luo Fei's mimicry skills were impressive, and with his good looks, no matter how hard he tried to look ugly, he still wasn't unattractive. With his eyes closed, he concentrated on recalling the patients he had seen, and his arms really did start moving in imitation of theirs, waving about as he leaned in one direction, as if someone was standing there, sympathizing with him helplessly and hopelessly.

  He suddenly thought of Li Jin.

  Thinking of him holding his phone, whether he has already seen that colorful message. Thinking of him seeing himself being deceived again, whether he is also like the father in the script, who is helpless but cannot bear to not care. Thinking of his awkward smile and playful expression, thinking of how he trusts me, thinking of myself betraying his trust time and time again...

  Suddenly, a faint sigh crept into his ears.

  Luo Fei suddenly opened his eyes.

  He looked at Ren Jilin and sighed, then turned around and shook his head at the deputy director.

  The deputy director beckoned the assistant over and whispered something in his ear. The assistant listened while looking at Ruo Fei with a regretful gaze.

  The barrier in his mind was suddenly blown open by something, and Lu Fei abruptly stopped all movements, standing stiffly on the spot.

  "Yes, Dad, I was just pretending." He stared at a point in the void, as if he were gazing into someone's eyes. "I wasn't really sick, I was just fooling you."

  No longer like a patient in a frenzy, he calmed down with his back to the light, and there was an inexplicable desolation.

  "I just don't want you to leave." He looked over there, as if his father was standing there, his father who was about to quietly leave. This was the first and only time they were separating after relying on each other for over a decade. "Dad, apart from this method, I couldn't think of any other way to keep you here. Dad, forgive me, I had no choice, please forgive me..."

  His expression was agonizing, as if he was extremely resistant to deceiving the person closest to him, but reality forced him to do so. He begged his only relative with such a humble gaze, and that pitiful tone made the entire atmosphere sorrowful.

  Suddenly, he straightened his back, and those long eyelashes suddenly trembled, making people feel a chill without reason.

  "But Dad, isn't it a good thing to re-shoot the scene? Why won't you tell me? Why do you have to sneak off by yourself? Why can't I come with you?" He looked at his father with a biased tone and coldly laughed, "You say it's because you're afraid I won't be able to take it, that I'll get sick - really? Do you really think others will take care of me like you do? Do you really think I can avoid getting sick by staying here?"

  He sneered a few times, suddenly raised his tone and asked in a voice that seemed to pierce the heart: "Are you afraid I'll get sick or are you afraid... I'll become a stumbling block on your road to fame again?"

  "You think I don't know, all these years, you've been hating me?" He slightly raised his head, but his gaze was extremely disdainful. His height was above average, and ordinary people could only look up to him, at this moment, with such a condescending attitude, it seemed that the man who had been bent by the years in front of him was even more insignificant. "You hate my birth, which forced you to interrupt your idol career that was going smoothly, and even fall into the mud; you hate that I am related to you by blood, which makes you unable to get rid of me, and have to take on the responsibility of raising me, so you can't turn over a new leaf; You even hate my illness, you hate my mental breakdown when I'm sick, which makes you lose face again and again, becoming the biggest laughing stock. So you don't dare bring me together with you, you don't want the media to see me, you don't want to acknowledge my existence, and you even... didn't have any intention of coming back from the start, right?"

  "But I only have you!" he yelled hysterically, his voice so shrill that it seemed like his spirit was being pulled into a thin thread, on the verge of breaking. "I only have you, Dad! Whether you hate me or love me, I only have you, only you! Dad, take me with you, don't abandon me, I promise I won't cause any trouble for you... but please don't abandon me, please, Dad, don't walk alone again, don't leave me with anyone else because of any reason... Dad, I can't leave you, I absolutely cannot leave you..."

  He squatted down like a child, burying his face deep in his palms, and sobbed loudly without care. He was a long-time mental patient, and his condition came and went so unpredictably that it seemed as though he had already fallen ill again, yet amidst the prolonged chaos, he only gained this brief moment of clarity.

  What's the difference anyway?

  At this moment, he is just a child who thinks he will be abandoned by his loved ones and has no sense of security.

  "Alright." Just then, a pair of feet appeared in front of him. Ruo Fei's body jolted and he slowly looked up along the tip of the leather shoes.

  Ren Jilin stood in front of him, looking at Luo Fei with a complex gaze.

  "Alright," he said, "then you come with me."

  Luo Fei's body was unstable and he fell to the ground with a thud.

  "Xiao Ying, did you memorize the lines he just added?" Ren Jilin didn't look at him again, turned to his assistant and said, "Contact the screenwriter, show her...". He still couldn't remember Luo Fei's name, so he paused for a moment before continuing, "Show her this passage and see what she thinks."

  "Are you going to... change the script?" The assistant was somewhat surprised. In the original script, Ning Xue went to film without bringing Ning Hui along.

  Ren Jilin didn't respond, but instead walked past her towards the door. The assistant director had a bad feeling and quickly got up to follow him, asking in a low voice, "Director Ren, what's going on?"

  "Ning Hui's choice - let it be him then." Ren Jilin pulled open the door and walked out.