Andrew, on the other hand, was only slightly taller than me, with black hair peppered with grey and a square, less muscular frame. His bow and arrows appeared mundane, their simplicity contrasting with Josh’s warhammer.
Grateful for the help earlier, they offered to join us in finishing the collection quest and to keep watch for the lake monster that had likely retreated to digest its meal. With their assistance, we collected close to fifty clams, spending an hour digging in the mud and talking, getting to know the pair.
Josh wasn’t just lucky to be alive; his class, Mosh Pit Enthusiast, had a unique skill that allowed him to survive fatal damage so long as at least one ally remained alive nearby.
“This is the first time it’s activated,” Josh said as he pulled a clam out of the mud with a soft ‘plop’. His voice carried a slight country twang that pegged him as a Central Australian. “My class is really good for up close fighting. I get a bunch of buffs the more damage I take, and it gives me a massive health boost too.”
“That’s honestly a lifesaver,” I said, genuinely impressed. “Is it just the two of you in your party?”
“Nah,” Andrew said from the shoreline, his eyes fixed on the water. He also had the same country accent, making me wonder if they’d known each other before the selection. “We’ve got another friend, but she’s holed up in the tavern. We started with five, but we lost two on the second day. Took a quest to investigate a cave, and there was a giant bear inside. One swipe killed one of us, and the other got bitten clean in half. She hasn’t left the tavern since.”
A chill ran down my spine. “And the ogre? What possessed you to take that on?”
“That was my idea,” Josh admitted sheepishly, lifting his warhammer. “I found this in the cave. It’s incredible—ignores resistances and has a daze effect if I land headshots. We’ve been tearing through everything since. The quest was just supposed to be recon, but when it updated with a huge reward for killing the ogre… I got greedy.”
“Did you get the reward?” I asked, my suspicions gnawing at me.
Josh shook his head. “Nope. Failed the side quest, but the main quest is still active, so it’s not a total loss.”
That confirmed what I suspected: rewards here were as unforgiving as the system itself.
Before parting ways, we exchanged contacts and made plans to meet up at the Pit later. I found myself enjoying their company and was disappointed to see them go, but Sharla insisted that Milli and I needed more practice before relying on outside help.
As we prepared to leave, I gathered as many of the glowing ‘stones’ as I could find and stowed them in my backpack, despite Milli’s protests.
“Eww, seriously? That’s just gross,” she muttered, watching me with a mixture of disgust and exasperation.
The rest of the day passed quickly. By the time the sun started to set, Milli and Sharla had both made impressive progress. Milli had levelled up her Made at Home skill, which boosted the damage of weapons and equipment she crafted herself. Sharla’s healing abilities had improved too, with shorter cooldowns and faster casting times. I hadn’t levelled up, though my Quarterstaff skill had gained half a level, and my Flaw Finder was just a sliver away from ranking up.
Still, the day wasn’t a loss. My bestiary had expanded to include goblins and wolves, and we’d managed to bag 27 goblins, seven wolves, and 50 clams. When we tallied the rewards, we had earned 5,100 Crowns for the day.
Hope stirred in my chest. Despite the chaos of the last two days—including being attacked by an insane racist and an ogre—we’d made real progress. Even with more than 3,000 Crowns still hanging over our heads, for the first time, it felt like we might actually have a shot at making this work.
When we returned to the settlement, Zilph’s shop was already closed for the night, so we headed straight back to the Pit. Josh and Andrew were waiting for us, joined by a woman who looked as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Her face was pale, marked by three faint scars running across her wide features and down her neck. Stocky and short, she barely reached my shoulders when she stood to greet us. Her handshake was firm but cold, her hands soft and clammy against my skin. Her dark blonde hair, tied in a long, unkempt plait down her back, looked like it hadn’t seen soap in days.
Josh, ever the jovial host, ordered a round of drinks and a lavish spread of meats, cheese, bread, and dried fruits. Milli made an attempt to pay for the alcohol, but Andrew waved her off, firmly declaring it a lost cause to argue.
We ate and shared stories from before the selection. Josh and Andrew were engineering students who had been drinking too much at a bar when the selection struck. A fight broke out between them, and the bar’s patrons voted them both into “The Tithe” within minutes. Fiona, the woman, had been at a work event. Her colleagues had chosen her name out of a hat.
“I was the lucky winner,” she said flatly, lifting her hands weakly in mock celebration, her expression devoid of any emotion.
When the conversation turned to Milli, she shared her own story, one I hadn’t heard until now. I realized I’d been subconsciously avoiding thinking about that night, and Milli hadn’t spoken to me about it either.
She explained how she’d been in a meeting with a group of junior executives, filling in for her father. He was off on a yacht with her mother and a billionaire, a last-minute arrangement her mother had insisted would bolster her father’s career. Milli’s peers had insisted she was the most qualified to represent the company.
“They were, of course, correct on all points,” she said dryly, “but I do wish someone would’ve seconded my motion to base it on time served. Then I could’ve gotten rid of that rat, Richard.” Forming her hands into a mock strangling motion as she spoke.
Sharla and I stayed quiet when it came to our turn. Sharla had her drink and her thoughts, her rough week weighing heavily on her, while I deflected the question entirely, turning it instead to Fiona.
“What’s your class Fiona?” I asked, eager to shift the focus.
“It’s called a Televangelist,” she said, flinching slightly when I addressed her by name. “I’ve got prayers that cast spells—blocking damage, giving resistances, that sort of thing. I can also do a big heal once a day that cures everyone around me, but it takes a while to cast.”
Sharla was the first to retire for the evening, slipping away shortly after finishing her meal. Milli wasted no time introducing a drinking game, one where each player had to say a word starting with the last letter of the previous one. As Sharla left, I caught a flicker in her and Milli’s eyes—the telltale sign they were messaging each other. I didn’t ask. It wasn’t worth stirring the pot.
I hated conflict, always had. My ex-girlfriend in high school once called me a “spineless little shit” for not standing up to a guy who’d insulted me at the shops. She dumped me on the spot, and the worst part was, I’d agreed with her. But here, I couldn’t afford to be that same scared kid anymore. Still, picking fights over nothing wasn’t the way forward either.
By the seventh—maybe eighth—round of Kings, my head was swimming. Milli had somehow produced a pristine deck of cards, presenting them with a triumphant “TA-DAA!” The games had been a blur of laughter, slurred words, and clinking mugs. Finally, I decided I’d had enough and stood to leave, wobbling precariously on my feet. Josh slung my arm over his shoulder to steady me and helped me up the stairs.
“Dude—urp—dude,” Josh slurred, his large frame swaying unsteadily as he leaned against me. “You and that Sharla lady… you saved my life today. Did you know that? You saved my freaking life. If it weren’t for you, I’d be ogre poop right now, and, uh, I dunno how to be poop.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up a hand, wobbling slightly. “No, no, wait! What I’m trying to say is… you’re my best friend. My best friend. And if you ever need anything, I mean anything, you just gotta ask, okay?”
“Uh… sure, man,” I managed, blinking one eye after the other, my own balance barely holding up.
“Wait, actually…” He let go of me, swaying dangerously, and fumbled at his side. With a grand flourish, he pulled out his shimmering warhammer. “Here,” he declared, pressing the weapon into my arms. “I don’t want it anymore. I’ve decided I hate almost dying. It’s a total bummer. I don’t wanna be a Mosh Pit whatever. You take it.”
I stared down at the warhammer, its gleaming surface catching the light even in my blurred, drunken vision. It felt surprisingly light and warm to the touch, and there was an inscription on the shaft, though I couldn’t focus long enough to read it.
“Uh, yeah man. Anytime,” I mumbled, unsure of what else to say.
“I love you, man. I LOVE you,” he said, poking me in the chest before turning and lurching down the stairs, one hand gripping the railing for dear life.
Still blinking in confusion, I stumbled into the apartment, dropping the warhammer as I crossed the threshold. It hit the tiled floor with a loud CRACK, leaving a fresh, jagged line in one of the pristine white tiles. Wincing, I braced myself against the wall and shuffled to my room. I dropped onto the bed, face-first, and fumbled with my interface to send a message to Sharla.
Ryan:
heY thers a hammmer f4 U, from jsh
Perfect, I thought, my head spinning. I barely had the strength to open my notifications before blacking out. One of the last messages I remembered reading made my sleep-addled brain want to laugh and groan simultaneously:
Achievement:
Shit Sniper
Description:
You’re a shit sniper. Not like a ‘shit’ sniper, but a SHIT sniper. You’ve scored a hit against a foe while using faeces as your projectile. Way to make your ancestors proud, monkey boy. I hope you washed your hands after.
Reward:
We don’t reward that kind of behaviour.
The next morning, I woke up surprisingly refreshed considering how late I’d gone to bed. After stretching and brushing my teeth, I wandered into the common area. Milli and Sharla were perched on the couch, fussing over Louis. The tiny white dog was lounging regally, his underbite making him look both dignified and perpetually unimpressed. The smell of coffee called to me like a siren’s song, and I poured myself a cup, pairing it with a quick bowl of cereal. Once I finished, I joined the girls, who were now animatedly discussing Louis’ favourite foods and whether or not he’d look good in seasonal outfits.
“So,” I said, sinking into the empty couch and putting my feet up on the coffee table, “you’re our secretary or something, right?”
Louis sneezed delicately, then flipped onto his feet with a flourish. “Indeed. I am the general secretary for the guild. I handle quest bookings, high-level communication, and, naturally, advising you on best practices.” He leapt gracefully off Milli’s lap and trotted over to me, his claws clicking softly against the tile. Jumping onto the couch beside me, he sat upright, leveling his eyes at me with an indignant glare. “I must apologize for my absence. My obligations to my previous employer remain unfinished, though for the foreseeable future, I am at your service.”
Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.
I blinked. “Wait, hold on. Aren’t you, like, an NPC? How can you have a previous employer?”
Louis let out a soft growl, stamping his paw against the couch in a gesture of irritation. “NPC? How dare you. I am a biological being with advanced cognitive capabilities. I am connected to the computational matrix, yes, granting me access to vast stores of data, but I am flesh and bone, just like you. Well, with a few… enhancements.” He sat up straighter, his voice tinged with pride. “My previous employer is a woman of considerable status, boasting an unmatched culinary staff. It is a shame that you lack such amenities..”
I raised a hand in placation, trying to calm the increasingly irritable Louis.
“Chill, I was just asking. But I did want to talk to you seriously.”
Louis narrowed his eyes but nodded for me to continue. I spent the morning training and discussing my class and the missing modules with him. As we talked, I quickly realized Louis was an absolute treasure trove of information.
He explained that classes were ranked in tiers, ranging from E to S. New arrivals only had access to E-tier classes, and advancing required meeting specific prerequisites, such as maxing out class skills. Once a class was upgraded, it granted access to higher-level abilities. My class, Safety Inspector, was an A-tier class—second highest Louis had ever seen. Finding a high-ranking base-level class, he said, was exceptionally rare and a massive boon.
“Most people would auction off a class like yours to noble families,” Louis continued. “It’s not uncommon for these classes to become the property of a wealthy patron for their heirs or retainers to use. They often require a significant investment of time and resources. Your class, for instance, lacks any direct offensive or defensive capabilities. It does, however, allow you to level and max out any skill, albeit with a notable penalty to experience gain—unless the skill is tied to triggering your Hazard Hunter ability.”
His explanation made the class sound like a double-edged sword. It reminded me of complex hybrid builds or prestige classes from RPGs—powerful but unforgiving to play without expertise.
Louis then elaborated on the modules I’d missed during induction. As a guild leader, I had the ability to purchase them via the guild leader tab. While bundles were available, the cheapest comprehensive set started at 15,000 Crowns. Individual modules, marked with coloured boarders denoting rarity, were far pricier—the cheapest module alone was 50,000 Crowns.
I scrolled through the list, absorbing each description. One module, in particular, caught my attention. I read its entry multiple times, each reread revealing new layers of utility.
Identify ++
An advanced version of the basic Identify module, Identify ++ provides detailed analyses upon first inspection, including resistances, common weaknesses, hidden vulnerabilities, and bonus tips. This module automatically populates the bestiary with every encounter. Loved by hunters, field guide writers, and the terminally over-prepared.
Price: 120,000 Crowns
“I’d advise against such purchases until your guild has secured its finances,” Louis cautioned, his tone measured. “At present, you’re… ah, precariously positioned.”
I nodded absently but couldn’t help imagining the utility Identify ++ would bring. It wasn’t just useful—it was essential for someone like me, whose class relied on exploiting flaws. My eyes drifted to a crumpled piece of paper in my inventory: the I.O.U. slip I’d earned for accessing the interface prematurely.
“Hey, what about this?” I asked, holding up the slip. The note looked like it had been written in haste with a ballpoint pen and folded far too many times. “Is this thing real or just some joke item?”
Louis leapt gracefully off the couch, trotting over to scrutinize the note. His fluffy tail twitched as he peered at it.
“You are a curious fellow, Ryan,” he mused, tilting his head. “Yes, it’s real. That I.O.U. allows you to redeem a single module from the guild menu. It won’t be honoured by merchants, but tearing it in half will give you the option to activate a module without charge.”
I stared at the note for a moment, weighing my options. Then, with a decisive rip, I tore the paper in half. The I.O.U. dissolved into a golden mist, and a prompt appeared: Select a module to activate. Without hesitation, I chose Identify ++.
The moment I confirmed the selection, it felt like a surge of electricity coursed through my brain. The sensation didn’t hurt—it was like drinking a strong energy shot, waking every nerve in an instant. I blinked rapidly as my vision adjusted, and when I looked back at Louis, I noticed something new. A faint tingle at the back of my mind urged me to focus on him. Tentatively, I did so.
Time seemed to slow as a tool tip appeared, and a new voice—a calm, neutral tone—read aloud the description:
Passive NPC:
Louis
Species:
Neurologically enhanced canid.
Description:
This small fluffy creature isn't all that they appear to be. While physically in the form of a Bichon Frise, they are a system generated entity. As such they can have all manner of spells and abilities they may not normally have. That being said, they are still limited by their physical form.
Resistances:
Magical damage, Psychic damage, Charisma based abilities and elemental damage
Common weaknesses:
Blunt damage, dog treats, identifying the difference between red and green.
Hidden vulnerabilities:
Is severely lactose intolerant, but they won't admit it.
Bonus tip:
If you grab it by the scruff of its neck they will become paralysed temporarily, then you can punt the little shit.
I was more than a little upset that the beautiful womanly voice that read out the quest notifications hadn't also read out this too.
Still, Louis proved himself to be invaluable. Informing me that he was able to provide details far more extensive than what I had access to in my compendium, ranging from fighting techniques to spell descriptions and even information about the surrounding areas. However, his knowledge was limited to what we had already encountered or unlocked. While I did my best to absorb the information, Louis started explaining something called filters—barriers that restricted travel on the four roads leading out of the settlement. Before he could elaborate, the door slammed open.
Milli stormed in, snatching up Louis with a dramatic flourish. The little creature let out a soft grunt, clearly unimpressed, but didn’t resist as she began petting him with frantic energy. Her fingers rubbed his ears and face with a fervour that matched her agitated pacing.
“I can’t believe she ripped me off! That snake!” Milli fumed, her words spilling out in an unbroken stream. “She was all honeyed words and sweet talk when we first met! Just wait—I hope every single one of her contracts is riddled with loopholes. If we still had Facebook, I’d expose her shady business practices for everyone to see!”
Louis, clearly over her aggressive affection, squirmed out of her arms and leapt to the floor. He shot her an unimpressed look before trotting over towards the couch.
Sharla followed her in, shooting me a look that practically begged, Don’t ask. Without a word, she collapsed onto the couch. Louis immediately jumped up beside her, curling into her lap. Her hand moved to scratch his belly, her movements calm and instinctive—a stark contrast to Milli’s agitated pacing and muttered complaints.
I raised an eyebrow, but before I could say anything, Sharla sighed and relented. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”
She explained how Milli had led her to a merchant she claimed to have a good relationship with. When they arrived, the merchant had an item on display—an essence jewel—that Milli had sold her for a fraction of its current price.
“A bit of a markup?” Milli interrupted, her voice laced with venom. “She’s selling it for half a million! I got a measly 125,000 for it! HALF A MILLION, RYAN!”
Milli’s gestures became more erratic, her arms flailing as she stomped around the room. It took both Sharla and me a significant amount of effort to calm her down, finally resorting to tea and coaxing to get her to sit and talk. Once settled, she recounted the story of the essence jewel. Her previous party had defeated an ogre, and after delivering the final blow, Milli looted the jewel. Refusing to split the proceeds led to her being kicked from the group.
This part we already knew. What she hadn’t mentioned before was just how much money she had received for it. 125,000 Crowns. The sheer amount was staggering, but learning the jewel was worth quadruple left me silently fuming on her behalf. As Milli continued pacing, venting her frustrations, I made a mental note to discuss her negotiation skills when she was less murderously inclined.
By the time she calmed down, Sharla filled me in on the mundane part of their day—they had sold the wolf parts for 850 Crowns, transferring the sum to the guild treasury.
Milli emerged from her room, red-faced and determined. Her voice trembled slightly, but her resolve was clear. “We need to take a quest. I have the urge to kill something.”
Sharla gave her a concerned look but didn’t object. Milli’s energy was raw and unprocessed, and channelling it into something productive wasn’t the worst idea.
“I was thinking we could take the day to unwind,” I started, but Milli’s glare made me think better of it.
“I refuse to believe it’s healthy to push ourselves to the extreme every single day,” Sharla chimed in, slipping into her doctor voice. “Even if this world magically heals our injuries, rest is still important.”
Milli didn’t seem to hear either of us. She marched straight to the quest board and yanked down a goblin hunting quest without so much as a glance in our direction. Sharla and I exchanged looks but followed her silently, opting to talk via the chat interface.
Ryan:
Are we worried about her murder frenzy?
Sharla:
Ehhh, a little bit. But as long as it’s directed at monsters for a quest and we get paid, it’s an acceptable outlet. I’ll talk to her, though.
Ryan:
You two have gotten pretty close, huh?
Sharla:
She’s really trying hard to impress us. I think she’s afraid we’ll dump her. It’s nice having another girl to talk to—for her, I mean. She’s still basically a kid. I get the sense she didn’t have a lot of close friends before this.
I thought about bringing up last night but decided against it. I didn’t need to involve myself in every situation. Sharla had warmed back up to me since the incident, and for now, that was enough.
Ryan:
Which one of us is going to remind her to invite us to the quest?
Sharla:
I just did.
Sure enough, the group chat pinged with an invitation.
We started off using our usual strategy, but it quickly devolved into Milli charging after goblins, taking potshots with her lacrosse stick before gleefully battering them in melee. Sharla and I exchanged glances and decided to let her blow off steam while keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t get overwhelmed. Meanwhile, we used the opportunity to focus on training. Earlier, Sharla had walked me through a three-hit combo using my pole, and she wanted me to practice it in a live setting.
We cornered a goblin together, giving me space to analyse it with my Identify++ module. The tooltip that popped up was... colourful, to say the least:
Hostile NPC:
Goblin
Description:
They have a face not even a mother could love and a mouth that would send even the most hardened British dentist running for the hills. Fun fact: the phrase “shit-eating goblin” isn’t just a euphemism—they literally eat shit. These hateful little monsters come in two flavours: feral and tribal. While physically weak, tribal goblins grow dangerous in groups, especially under a leader’s influence. Leaders often wield pyrotechnics and magic to enforce their rule. Don’t expect poetry slams or black-tie events, though.
Resistances:
- Poison
- Disease
Common Weaknesses:
- Psychic Damage
- Fire Damage
- Lupophobia (fear of wolves)
Hidden Vulnerabilities:
- These creatures aren’t picky eaters. Because they resistant to poison, many forms of tainted food bypass their immunity.
Bonus Tip:
Extremely susceptible to scams and gullible as hell. If you’re looking to start a multi-level marketing scheme, goblins make excellent recruits.
The entry made me chuckle despite myself, and I focused on landing the combo as Sharla guided me. Milli, meanwhile, was on a rampage. Of the 15 goblins we killed, she personally dispatched nine. By the time we decided to head back to the settlement, her pristine pantsuit was splattered with foul-smelling goblin gore.
For the first time in days, we made it back inside the settlement’s walls without incident. My jaw ached, and I realized I’d been clenching it the entire way back. Only when we entered the apartment did the tension leave my body.
“I’ll make dinner,” I offered, heading to the kitchen. The fridge was predictably sparse—cans of spam and day-old rice. Luckily, my dad was a spam connoisseur and had taught me enough recipes to turn canned meat into a delicacy. I found some spices and whipped up what he called “army sushi”—a simple, hearty dish that involved grilled spam rolled in rice with a bit of seasoning.
We sat down on the couch to eat: Milli, Sharla, Louis (to my surprise), and me. Sharla and Milli marvelled at how good it smelled, given the humble ingredients. Louis, of course, had to insert his opinion.
“Quaint,” he said with a sniff, which I chose to ignore.
“Soooooo,” I began, drawing the word out as I worked up the courage to broach the topic with Milli. “How much money do you have?”
Sharla coughed, inhaling a piece of rice, clearly caught off guard by the bluntness of my question. Milli, however, didn’t react immediately. Her eyes flashed—she was using her interface. After a moment, she looked up.
“I have 10,346.25 Crowns,” she said calmly.
I choked on my food, gulping down water as I processed her exact and very precise response. She had actually gone into her interface to give me the number.
“Can I... borrow some to pay off the rest of the guild debt?” I asked, struggling to phrase the question diplomatically.
Milli put a finger to her chin, pretending to think it over.
“Hmmm... no. You may not.”
“What the fuck, Milli?” I blurted, turning to Sharla for backup. To my dismay, Sharla was focused intently on her food, pretending not to hear.
Milli’s expression was one of serene innocence. “Well, let’s see. You’re staying in my apartment, eating my food, and not even paying me for my services. I think I’m already making the biggest contribution to this guild.”
Sharla finally looked up, giving me an apologetic glance but saying nothing. Louis, ever the opportunist, decided this was the perfect moment to trot over to Milli’s side and curl up on her lap like a smug little diplomat.
I wanted to argue but I couldn't find a flaw in what she had said, if it wasn't for her, Sharla and I would probably still be sleeping in the tavern. Milli had also been a big part in how we had managed to earn as much as we had up to this point. I suddenly felt dirty and quickly apologised, eating the rest of my meal in silence and sent a message to Sharla.
Ryan:
Thanks for the help there.
Sharla:
You're welcome.
I decided to call it an early night and went to bed without showering.