In a far and distant land called the Oni Shogunate, food was growing scarce and the people desperate. Strange rumours were spreading like wildfire. Yokai – monsters of ancient myths and legends – were supposedly the cause.

  In a uniquely Oni-styled building, with traditional clay brick walls and floors of straw mats, an Oni wife hugged her husband's arm, her face full of worry.

  “The farmers are talking about... you know… them,” she shuddered. “Children went missing in the nearby village. Spirited away during the night!” Her voice trembled. “Yokai can't be real but can you imagine?”

  The Oni husband, a burly man, his skin red like fire, puffed his bare chest out.

  “I’ve heard these rumours. Don't worry, I protect my family!” No scoundrel will sneak into my house."

  The wife looked at the inexpertly boarded doors and windows. “And I am glad and grateful, but it's them we are talking about. The hairy… the scary… the six-legged… spiderish Yokai! Will this stop them?!”

  “...”

  “..." A sob escaped her lips.

  "I just remembered something. The passing guards mentioned an ancient charm. They said it works against the Yokai. A Warding Charm It's called!”

  “A Warding Charm?!”

  “Yes, you scatter sacred grain by doors and windows, cracks and corners, anywhere they might enter. The guards were convinced it would keep the Yokai away.

  Tears were streaming down her face, "We are almost out of food.”

  “It's for our protection. Let's scatter some around.”

  “We don’t have much food left, but... Okay! Anything to protect our children.”

  “... And we can collect the grain in the morning.”

  “Yes!” She blew her nose. "We can do that! You are my hero!"

  Just so, the two Oni scattered pearly white grains around the house. They reverently placed them by doors and windows, cracks and corners, sealing the house by an ancient rite and ceremony.

  …

  The doors were sealed, the windows boarded, the gaps and cracks warded. The house was protected. Impenetrable. Completely Yokai proof. Guaranteed by rite and custom.

  The youngest of the children, Little Ryuji was the only one still awake. Hunger gnawed at his belly.

  ‘Why did we have to throw our dinner away?’ he looked at the scattered grains with scorn. They were everywhere, by the doors, by the windows, by his bed, in his underwear, and all around Dad’s treasured chamberpot. ‘Such a waste… I’m hungry…’ Either way, he couldn’t sleep.

  The fire crackled in the fireplace, dancing lights keeping Little Ryuji warm and entertained. Slowly ever so slowly, he began drifting to sleep. Until...

  Something odd sparkled in the fireplace. Blue, crystalline powder fell from the chimney, snuffing the fire below in an instant.

  ‘The fire? It's gone!’

  A woven thread, purple and shimmering, dropped the cooling embers.

  ‘Huh? What is going on?’

  Ryuji wanted to shout, but all that came out was a hushed whisper. “It’s them…”

  Indeed, he too had heard the stories. Tales about the Yokai. Apparently, they snatched all the naughty children in a nearby village.

  ‘!!!’

  The fireplace coughed, spitting a cloud of blue dust. Ryuji hid under his blanket. He peaked. Curious and afraid. Fine powdery dust spread around the room, coating everything in it.

  Little Ryuji, being the only one awake, pressed his blanket to his nose – afraid of the mysterious dust.

  ‘… Not me… please not me… I was good! I am good!’ he whisper-shouted fully aware that he was exactly the naughtiest of the children.

  As the dust tickled his eyes and nose, he spotted something shimmering in the fireplace again. Legs, long and spindly reached out of the fireplace. Sinister feelers scratched against the sooty cobbles of the chimney. Followed by...

  ‘Yo… Yokai…’ He uttered under the blanket, feeling too sleepy and too weak to shout.

  ‘???’ he took the strange sight of the Yokai. ‘It’s… it’s not scary? Odd…’

  Indeed, the creature didn't scare him at all. He simply marvelled with half-closed eyes at the entity emerging from the chimney. It was dressed in a comically large and fluffy coat, blue in colour, its spindly legs peeking from right under it. On its head it wore a funny hat, just as blue with a very fluffy rim and an oversised pom-pom on top. Whatever this was, the get-up looked very silly.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “Ho-ho-ho!” the Yokai chirped jovially, reaching for its pocket.

  A spidery claw scooped another pile of blue dust only to blow it all away and into the air.

  Seeing it coming, Little Ryuji plugged his nostrils and simply peeked at the strange yokai from the safety of his all-covering blanket.

  “That should do the trick, Ho-ho-ho.” It chirped. “Helper Sam, come out already.”

  Something else rustled and scratched against the cobbles in the chimney. with, with a *Thud* and *Bam*, that something dropped into the still glowing embers in the fireplace; graciously ass firts.

  “Ouch-ouch-couch… It’s still hot. It burns!”

  “Helper Sam, next time use the rope! That’s why it’s there! Ho-ho-ho!” the ho’s came out slightly less jovial this time.

  It seems the embers weren’t quite put out because…

  “Father, Father Frosty! Help me! My pants are on fire!”

  Helper Sam jumped out of the fireplace and fumbled at the small flame licking at his rear.

  “Shush Sam! You’ll wake the denizens! … Take this, Ho-Ho-Ho!” the ho’s were aimed at a certain backside.

  “Wah! Don’t begin spanking my ass out of nowhere!”

  “Stop running around in circles! Ho-ho-ho! Stop, I say! You’ll set everything on fire, Ho-ho-ho, not just your ass!!! Let me…”

  “Ahh! It’s too hot!

  “Ho-ho-ho-ooo!!! *Smack*, “… Done and dusted.”

  “It’s not Ho-Ho-Ho at all! It-it burned a hole!!!”

  “But the fire is out. Ho-ho-ho, all is jolly!”

  “Nothing is jolly! I can see my bare ass!!!”

  “Ho-ho-ho! Stop shouting, you’ll wake the denizens!!!”

  “Ah!!! … It’s shining right through like a moon!!!”

  ‘…’ Ryuji didn’t know what to think of this. ‘But hey, this other yokai…’

  This Helper Sam, just like the spiderish Father Frosty, he was dressed in a fluffy blue coat and wearing an oversized hat with a silly pom-pom. However, ‘He’s, this strange Helper Sam, is no yokai. No-no-no.’ That is exactly so, much like Ryuji, Sam was just a boy – albeit, minus the Oni horn.

  “Ho-ho-ho! We’ll patch the hole later with a web. Now help me.”

  “Yes, Father Frosty! Let me get our bag, it’s still in the chimney.”

  The boy ran back to the fireplace, and out of it he retrieved a large bag bursting with mystery.

  “Ho-ho-…-huh? Hey Sam, what is this line of tiny sacks by the fireplace?”

  “Eh? Those? They’re just old socks left to dry.”

  “Socks, socks… sacks, sacks… what's the difference then you’re a spider and have no toes? … Either way, Ho-Ho-Ho, isn’t this convenient?! Pass me the gifts Sammy boy, I’ll stuff the offerings in them conveniently placed tiny sacks!”

  “Are you sure about that? And its socks, not tiny sacks!”

  “Yes-Yes. Quickly let's stuff them there and go to the next house.”

  “Yes, Father Frosty…”

  Ryuju, now half asleep, dust tickling his nose, observed the two stuffing the ‘tiny sacks’ with mysterious items. In the end, Little Ryuju didn’t get spirited away, but perhaps something even more dreadful happened.

  ‘No… my socks… don’t put that in… there…’

  He fell asleep.

  …

  In the wee hours of the morning, in the near-abandoned inn, two Oni sat by the table.

  “I know you won’t believe me but look at this."

  One of them put a stuffed sock on the table.

  “Ah, so you finally lost it… Why are you showing me your stinky old sock?”

  “No! Check what's inside the sock. He-he, isn't it particularly… stuffed?”

  “Oh?” The other took something out of the sock. “Huh?! Half-eaten Bread?”

  “Sorry, I’ve got peckish on the way here…”

  “Why is it blood red? Don’t tell me… they?”

  “Yes… It was the Yokai! They stuffed all of our socks with strange bread! Strange delicious bread!”

  “…”

  “I knew you wouldn't believe me but it's true!”

  “No, I believe you… even if there’s famine, isn't it dangerous to eat something like that?”

  “You do? Oh... and it was Ryuji who took the first bite and he seemed fine so…”

  “You can’t be serious? How can you eat something as suspicious as this?”

  “Do you have enough food to turn down Yokai bread?”

  “It’s food conjured by the Yokai! You should know better!”

  “It smells so good… just smell this delicious half-eaten loaf. Yum!” He took another bite. “So-ooo good… ah, a bit dry. Ah… if only…”

  “Stop eating it! What if it’s cursed or poisoned?! Or worse!!!”

  “But It isn't! Not to boast, but you know my wife is a first-rate chef, she checked me and the kids for negative status effects. Nothing! Only scrumptious deliciousness! … And actually, believe it or not, the bread gives status buffs.

  “???”

  “There is that look again… You think I’m making it up? If you don’t believe me just try it yourself. Here, have this half-eaten piece. I have plenty to spare at home.”

  “Are they all half eaten? … well… Who am I kidding I'm so hungry… Nom-nom-nom…”

  “And?”

  “Delicious!!!”

  “I told you!”

  “Ah, but… a bit dry.”

  “I know...” He turned to the innkeeper. “Say, you wouldn't happen to have a bit of sake left somewhere?”

  “Hmm… Yes, this savouriness would pair well with something alcoholic, alas, between the Oni Shoguns ruinous tax and people trying to fill their empty bellies with anything… I have none left.”

  “Shame… and here I thought I would share this bread with you and your family.” He beganstuffing the half-eaten bread back into the not-so-tiny sock.

  “Wait, wait, wait!”

  “So… you DO have some?”

  “Well… not exactly. You might not believe me but… I better show you this.”

  Two Oni walked outside and stopped near the freshly boarded-up well. Sacred grains were scattered all around it as if to ward something off.

  “A sealed well?”

  “Yup. Sealed it a few hours ago…”

  “???”

  “Let’s unseal it!”

  “Huh?! Are you sure?!

  “Yeah. Nothing to worry about… I think.”

  The Oni Innkeeper roped a full bucket out of the well.

  “Oh!? What’s this?”

  “As you can see it's not simple water anymore. It has been Yokaified at some point during the night!”

  “Look! It's red! And it's froffy! Did Yokai poison your well? That’s bad! But why are you showing me this?”

  “I did think it was poison at first but… doesn’t this smell good?”

  “Yes… Yes! It does smell good!”

  “Why don’t you take a sip?”

  “I guess… why not!” He took a sip. “Oh! I see. Yes-yes. So that’s it.” He took another sip. “Mmm…”

  “Hey… did you just drink a whole bucket?”

  “Another!”

  “It’s not poison, is it? Is it?”

  “Another!!!”

  “Just give back my bucket! ... And let me try it already!”

  ”Wow! It tastes even better with half-eaten bread! … Nom-nom-nom… Slurp-slurp-slurp…”

  “This is my well! Let me try!

  As the Oni fought over the bucket, the village priest ran up to them flailing arms.

  “Guys, guys, you won’t believe this!!!”

  …

  That morning the Oni Village grew uncharacteristically lively. Each Oni had an unbelievable story to tell, each tale involving Yokai. The not-so-tiny socks were stretched full of bread, the mundane well water was turned to frothy ale, wives and missuses found themselves dressed in blue extravagant dresses at the early morning wake, the ill and the ailing were mysteriously healed and their pockets filled with strange blue fruits. All sort and manner of miracles happened that night – all mischievous, but, in the end, positive things.

  The villagers started thinking…

  “It's they we are talking about but… are they really that bad?”