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143 - Improvements

  There had been plenty of twists and turns in my ascent to being partly a regular person. So when Ren had invited an unknown guest into her office, I was prepared for anything - with a few exceptions. I trusted that my fellow hero wasn’t about to spring someone dangerous on me, but I was still surprised to see the young man enter.

  [Ah, I recognize you.]

  He gave me a cautious nod and a nervous smile as he walked over.

  “We don’t often see the results of our work, aside from the immediate effects,” Ren said. “This is further convenient coincidence, but I thought it might show you that your actions have consequences. Kiel has been working here as an intern for a week now.”

  “I wanted to say thank you, and apologize,” Kiel said, giving me an awkward bow.

  He was one of the gang members that had tried to jump me for the motorbike when I was picking up a package from Boss way back when. I had told Roxy to get them into a rehab program and that I would pay her back. There was still a good chance I hadn’t paid her back, if my memory served well.

  [Apology accepted. I’m glad to see that it worked out for you.]

  “About half of us lads did well on the program,” he replied. “Can lead a horse to water and all that…”

  “Unfortunately,” Ren continued, “such programs are under-funded and results are… varied.”

  I could understand that. Some people didn’t want to be helped, or were too far gone in their ways. Oftentimes, criminality wasn’t really a choice, but a necessity. Adding to that the possibility of lackluster or even detrimental ‘help’, then it was no surprise most saw no change in their life. Still, it was a step forward.

  [As long as some lives are brightened, at least we know we are on the right path.]

  Kiel then went on to describe his background. It was as expected, really. Fractured parenthood. Economic struggles. Fell in to the wrong crowd for the chance of having control over something in his life.

  For all the good that Goldarch tried to present, it soured me that such common and base issues still blighted what could be something much better. Of course, whether that was by design or not was a question too jaded and leading for me to ask myself. Some base animosity for heroes within the desperate and misguided kept the wheels of this game turning.

  I had become part of that, but it didn’t mean I had to be ambivalent to the changes I could make for those in need.

  After a couple of minutes of small talk, Ren then send the young man away. I stood to shake his hand, and it was clear in his expression there was still an amount of guilt mixed in with his appreciation. An earnest way of thinking that should hopefully keep him working here on the straight and narrow. I watched him leave before taking a seat once more.

  “I’ve arranged for some funding to be provided to the organization that helped him,” Ren said. “I’d even suggest that we, as the Natural Disasters, vouch for and sponsor them.”

  [Is that something you can set up?]

  “Paperwork is already prepared.” She gave me a wry smile and leaned back in her chair. “When I first learned of you, Dubs, I was very surprised.”

  I tilted my head, but relaxed into the chair. My mind was still churning through the events of the day.

  [Oh?]

  “To be frank, I was concerned about your ability to feel empathy. I wasn’t there to witness your competency against the clones, but judging how Roxy spoke about you… it was suspect that a trained killer had suddenly appeared in her life.” Ren raised an eyebrow. “Not to mention she seemed smitten by you.”

  No doubt the team would have received a proper debriefing and my dubious ‘temp’ position as the supers’ sidekick may have been brought up.

  “The last thing our broken team needed was a loose cannon kicking up dirt and making her life worse, but my opinion of you quickly changed.” She waved a hand and frowned. “The point I’m leading up to is that there are plenty of heroes under the League who do the bare minimum. They’re in it for the pomp and pageantry, soaking up the benefits Goldarch provides them, but never really pushing for change.”

  Just like with Roy, I was being reminded of the core principles of being a hero.

  [You all must have great confidence in me for this to be the training you provide for the Arena.]

  “Clearly. Your combat and action-orientated experience stands above most in the city, I’d imagine. The reason we are doing this is that we think you'll win… and winning means this hero thing is unavoidable. Everyone will know about you. Your life as a hero will be under a lot of scrutiny.”

  But instead of giving me the PR talk of how I should act or what I should say, they wanted me to be authentic. Bend my need to succeed toward actual steps to become a better hero for the people.

  [Admittedly, today has been… very eye opening.]

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  Her smile warmed. “Not-killing innocents has always been one of your core tenants, right? That’s just the baseline for everyone in a normal world. You have to be more proactive than that. Nobody is perfect, though. Don’t forget that.”

  [Things have been changing a lot in my life over the last couple of months. Teething pains, but overall on the upward trend. How are you liking things?]

  “Profits aren’t optimal and forecasts are between twelve and twelve point five percentage points off of realized targets… but I don’t care.” Ren furrowed her brow. “Or at least, not enough to involve myself. Flynn is in charge, and I’m… growing to accept inefficiencies.” At this revelation, she gave me a deep sigh. “Honestly, taking the back seat here probably saved my marriage and prevented an early stress-related death.”

  [I’m glad. The Natural Disasters need you.]

  At first, it looked as though she was about to disagree or make a comment about it only being because of the financial support, but her expression softened. She nodded. “We’re all in this together, Dubs. Thick or thin. Thank you for showing my niece the time of day.”

  Would I have done it if Roy hadn’t taken me to the veteran gathering this morning? I was certainly taking this hero thing seriously enough to think that nothing would have changed if it had been any other day. It did give it more context, however. A layer of further consideration.

  [Of course. I’m assuming she will have no issue getting cybernetics when it is time?]

  Ren nodded. “Once she is grown. It’s not viable to replace every year or two, and rather traumatic for someone so young.” The elf sighed again and her expression sunk slightly. “It was a dog attack a few years ago. Something quick. Unexpected. As a hero, you’ll learn you can’t save everyone, all the time. But… people continue moving forward. Just look at yourself, for example.”

  For all that I had endured and gone through in my life, here I was - improved and constantly moving up the ladder. Certain things stuck to you. A shadow that lingered despite how bright the rest of your life became. Lori might carry some trauma or baggage over the attack and her feelings over the missing hand for the rest of her life, but that was just reality. Price of admission for existing.

  Some manner of cybernetic support group felt like a thing I really wanted to sink my weight into now.

  [Hmm. Thank you, Ren. I have certainly been given a lot to think about today.]

  “Pleasure. I’ll be dropping by sometime with more information over the command center plans, but otherwise, that’s all I’ve got for you.”

  [I appreciate it.]

  We said our goodbyes, and I left her office, then shortly after the building itself. It had been an interesting day, with both Disasters surprising me with the training they felt I needed. Even Roxy wanted me to think outside of the box rather than combat her directly. How did I feel about that?

  Ren had said it herself - they expected me to win, and this was actually training more for what came after. I had the basics of heroism down - punch bad guys and do what the League asked of me, but the group wanted to nudge me in a direction that gave me a life with more substance. Using my powers responsibly, even if I had been created for violence.

  I walked over to the Meteor and opened up the back to get in. It was nice that those closest to me were so confident in my abilities, but perhaps the alternative just wasn’t acceptable. Failure meant that my days as a hero were limited, and our freshly earned ranking raise might falter again. In agreeing to battle against Maestro in the Arena, I had put the careers of all the Natural Disasters at risk.

  So the fact that they didn’t deem it necessary to teach me anything more than soft skills should be comforting, surely?

  Either way, it had been quite the exhausting day. The Meteor hummed into life and I drove off toward home to gather my thoughts. I still had to break the news to the rest of them that the League expected us to run off into the wastes to do some dirty work. Part of me wanted to stay in the underground and only do that sort of job, but there was no stopping this runaway train of being a hero anymore.

  By the time I reached the outskirts, I hadn’t reached any conclusion on how to feel. To zero surprise, neither Clara nor Warlock were present - probably locked away in the workshop as usual. She would be annoyed at the League’s mission taking her away from her inventing. I walked into the house in search of a fresh canister for my lagging brain, and didn’t find Roxy anywhere.

  I drummed my fingers on the kitchen counter and decided how to spend the rest of my day. Several ideas barely bubbled up from the thick bog inside my skull, but something with little to no exertion sounded great.

  The empty tube of my old canister slid into the small rack we now used for washing and reusing them. Things had become so normalized. Regular. The oddballs that I had somehow first attached myself to had done their best to accommodate my quirks and set me on the road to recovery. Now, going beyond my small friend group, I was being prepared to greet and mingle with the wider community.

  It was exhausting just to imagine… but I didn’t hate the notion.

  Right now, however, I needed somewhere to sit. After mulling over the living room or basement, I eventually just went to bed. My sleeping schedule was still amiss, and some rest wouldn’t be the worst thing. Outfit off, I switched into comfortable clothes and got under the covers.

  I brought up all the data Clara had collected about past Heroism Arenas. Extensive logs and post-show breakdowns, alongside analysis columns from retired heroes and other yapping mouths in the scene.

  After staring blankly at a large page of text and not taking any of it in, I closed it down. Instead, I opened up a video player and looked for compilations of the best fails of the Heroism Arena. What followed was a somewhat amusing clip show of unlucky or unfortunate accidents that had occurred at previous events. Everything ranging from a particularly overconfident hero getting hit in the unmentionables by a swinging beam, to another who went in the completely wrong direction at the start of their challenge after reading a sign incorrectly.

  I found it more humanizing than anything. Even the S-Rank heroes were mortals, capable of error and lapses in judgement. It was the power and the limelight that made that such a difficult thing to juggle, and why Goldarch had the League.

  With the knowledge that I just had to be slightly less fallible than the rest of the contestants, I closed down the STAR. Even Maestro wasn’t that big of a threat to me, all things told. Maybe that was overconfidence. More likely, I was just tired. Getting lax would lead me to learning the hard way.

  Schedule said I had a short mission in the city with Belle tomorrow. She was going to use that time for our training, so it might be combat related… although I was starting to doubt it. At this point, I must be searching for an excuse to get my hand dirty.

  Something I’d regret soon enough, I was sure.

  Before that mission, I would go into the city with the free time I now had for meeting Ren earlier than planned. The contact Kingston gave me for the defensive gear would be good to meet as soon as possible. Just not today.

  I debated sending Roxy or Dr Jarl a message, but before I could formulate a proper plan, I fell asleep.

  Dreams of leading a group meeting for people with cybernetics filtered through my brief nap.

  Before I was abruptly awoken by the sound of a small explosion.

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