This short ficlet was inspired by the wonderful AngusOfTheDandelion of Spacebattles. He asked: Did the neighboring countries send good wedding gifts? This ficlet is the answer!

  Regina stared at the object in front of her.

  She blinked.

  No, the object was still there.

  This was not, in fact, another nightmare.

  "Darling?" said Artem and for a brief moment Regina deeply resented him because he did not seem remotely bothered by the... thing in front of him.

  "You are," said Regina, unable to entirely keep the sullenness out of her voice, "able to keep your head about you in the most trying of circumstances and I admit I... envy that."

  "Trying of circumstances?" said Artem, blinking. "Why would receiving a very effective meat slicer be a trying circumstance, darling?"

  Regina jolted as she realized several things simultaneously.

  First, that for all that she was an inbred shut-in she was the daughter of a merchant family with more access to news and information about other countries than the majority of Carcosans.

  Second, that their neighboring country who had sent this... gift had not counted on the complete ck of interest of the noble css in external politics when sending their message.

  Regina's smile blossomed into something that could almost be called vilinous.

  As she stared at the guillotine gifted by the country that had recently sliced the heads of their reigning monarchs with a very simir contraption she said sweetly to Artem, "Of course, my darling. It was merely trying to think of the incredible generosity of our neighbors. We must show them how much use we have for their beautiful... meat cleaver. Do you think we could send them a number of unbeled frozen meat slices back... to thank them?"

  When Artem enthusiastically nodded and began pnning the perfect metal gift box to wrap the slices in, Regina smiled and leaned back into her chair.

  Though Artem and she might be accimed as the new rules of Carcosa within their own country, she knew perfectly well that their neighboring countries would consider them nothing but foolish new figureheads with no real teeth.

  So it would be best to send the message that while she and Artem might be loved by their own people... outsiders should learn to harbor a little more fear .

  After all, if their neighbors were kind enough to gift them something on the cutting edge of design, it was only fair that the Carcosan rulers showed that they could be-heading back to visit as well.