It was about 20 years ago when the Dungeons first appeared. I was only 6 at the time. We still don't know exactly what they are, but we figured out the rules of them pretty quickly. Once a Dungeon appears, you have 10 days before it ruptures and all the monsters inside run wild in the world. This is called a Dungeon Break. My best friend, Harper, actually lost her father to a dungeon break in the early years of this crisis.
Of course, with the Dungeons came the System, and the Skill Cards. Nobody really understood them either, but we all wanted them. A skill card let you perform superhuman feats. Most people would literally kill to unlock their very own skill card, Even the lowest rank, a bronze, would radically improve my life.
I sighed. The router at the back of the shop had come unplugged again. I could fix it easy, but...
[Current time: 19:17:42.]
My system HUD flashed in my vision. I had no idea why it was in military time, but it was easier to learn that 19:17 translated to 7:17 rather than try to learn how to change it.
I could pretend this was a more complex problem and dodge counter duty for another 20 minutes or so. That would get me almost all the way to the moment I could clock out at 8 o'clock. 20 more minutes not dealing with customers or worse... Ned... would be heaven.
[???: Do you do nothing but avoid your problems?]
A blue box with that message appeared in my vision.
"What?" I blinked a few times, wondering if I was seeing things. But no, the message was real. The Heads Up Display would appear in the vision of anyone who had spent even a few hours in close proximity to a dungeon, so basically everyone had them. But I wasn't a Hunter. I didn't use the messaging feature, I had a phone for that. Hell, I didn't even have any contacts in my Mental HUD to message me.
I tried to swipe the message away but another one popped up immediately.
[???: There you go again.]
I swiped again.
[???:You don't like what I have to say so you ignore me]
[???: It's kind of sad.]
[???: You'll never get a Skill Card at this rate.]
That one hurt enough that I actually stopped swiping. "Fine then." I muttered, plugging the router back in before swiping the message away and pushing through the door to the back room.
On the other side of the door stood a walking corpse.
"Connor. What were you doing in the back room?" asked the zombie, his voice like an old, dust covered organ in an abandoned church, croaking out its first notes in years. The shop's manager, Ned was a pallid man with graying hair and massive bags under his eyes. His perpetually tired, zombie like expression had earned him the nickname Undead Ned among the store clerks. It was all fun and games until someone had actually said it to his face and he made a store policy banning anyone from saying the word undead in the store.
Makes it real fun to outfit heroes planning to fight undead monsters, real easy communication there.
"Internet went out, sir." I said quickly, then as his expression turned skeptical I added "Customers were complaining."
Ned blinked, and I swear his eyelids moved out of sync. "As long as you're keeping customers happy." he finally said "Now get back on register."
With a sigh, I returned to work. I'd been here since 8 AM and I was already exhausted.
Someone in front of me dropped a huge warhammer onto the counter. "Connor, looks like you're having a good time."
I looked up at the giant frame of a man in front of me. He stood nearly eight feet tall and wore glimmering armor that made him look like a medieval knight from the neck down. "Max! Didn't realize you were in the market for a new weapon."
"Yeah, there's a new dungeon on Euclid Avenue. 20 stories this time. Figured I'd upgrade a little bit before the raid tomorrow."
Max was a big shot in one of the local Hunter Guilds, something I was more than a little jealous of. That and the whole eight-feet-tall thing. I mean, I'm like, five foot seven and a half inches, I feel short all the time, but Max just makes me feel like a dwarf.
"Oh nice," I rang up the hammer and gawked at the $600 price tag"Anything else you need today?"
A grin spread across his face. "Oh yes. Potion seller, I need your strongest potions!"
"Bah, my potions are too strong for you, traveler!" I shot back, dropping a three-pack of Full Heal potions into a plastic bag and wrapping the handles around the hammer to make it easier to carry.
[???: Did you just make a Bindle? Like a hobo from an old cartoon?]
I swiped away the message and handed the- fuck, I did make a Bindle didn't I? I handed the Bindle to Max. "So is this a Guild outing or-?"
"Nah, not this one. This one is Freelance. Hell, get a Dungeon Key before tomorrow morning and you can join us, too."
"Us?" I gave him a curious glance. Max was Harper's Boyfriend, and she and I had been pushing him to take her raiding for months. He didn't answer, just kept grinning at me expectantly.
I looked over at the glass case full of glimmering, secondhand Keys, same as the Hunters from the live stream had. Each one cost more than two months rent for my apartment. "Yeah, somehow that seems unlikely, but I appreciate the thought."
Max laughed "Well, I'm sure I'll see you sometime tomorrow anyway."
Huh? What did that mean?
I counted out the cash and change for the potions and Hammer before sending Max on his way. I checked my HUD again.
[Current Time: 19:47:53]
12 minutes left on my shift. The lifeless eyes of Ned watched me from across the store, waiting to punish any sign of wanting to leave early. It was in his nature, he was a born manager, a master of the art of the buzzkill.
[???: This must be that "working retail" thing I hear so much about. The power to make 12 minutes feel like 12 hours.]
My curiosity finally overcame me and I opened the messenger app in my HUD
[Connor: Who... are you?]
[???: Oh, finally answering me are we? Been ignoring me for half an hour.]
[Connor: ?]
[???: I guess you could say I'm an Evaluator of sorts.]
[???: I'm not really supposed to reach out to candidates directly, but something about you is so intriguing.]
I took a moment to open the HUD menu and hit [Save Contact] so he'd stop showing up as "???"
[Evaluator: Tell me, are you happy with your life?]
[Connor: Fuck no.]
[Evaluator: Then why stay where you are? Why not leave?]
[Connor: People don't do that in real life.]
[Evaluator: Oh Really?]
[Connor: Yes Really! I'm not the main character in a Jim Carrey movie, I didn't find a magic mask or swear to say yes to everything. I'm just some guy.]
[Evaluator: So you're convinced that the only way you can find your way to a better life is if some life changing divine intervention falls into your lap?]
[Connor: Sure, I guess. It's hard to change your life.]
[Evaluator: Tell me, how much do you know about Skill Cards?]
[Connor: Skill cards? What do you want to know about them?]
[Evaluator: Just tell me everything you can think of.]
[Connor: Um.]
[Connor: Okay.]
[Connor: They come out of people's hearts? There's 4 different levels of rarity. Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum.]
[Connor: There are also three different types. Combat types help do damage to monsters, Tanking types help protect people, and Utility, which does pretty much everything else.]
[Evaluator: And do you want a skill card, Connor?]
[Connor: Are you kidding? I'd do anything for one.]
[Evaluator: So what if I helped you unlock one right now?]
[Connor: Haha. Yeah right. I'll file that one right between "hot single moms in your area" and "Double your penis size with this one easy trick" in my spam folder.] It finally made sense, phishing scams where they promised you skill cards were big these days.
[Evaluator: I mean it, if you unlocked a skill card right now, would you quit your job? Become a Hunter? Join a guild?]
[Evaluator: Do you think that your life would improve if only you got this magic card?]
[Connor: Obviously.]
[Evaluator: Alright then. Your shift is about to end, by the way.]
[Current Time: 19:58:33]
Shit, I got distracted by this weird spammer. I looked up and came face to face with the horrific zombie-like face of Ned, inches away from mine.
"Connor, are you paying attention to your work?"
"Of course. But there's no Customers." I gestured to the empty store.
"A wonderful observation, Mr. Connor. Since the last few minutes of your work day were so easy, why don't you close the shop for me today?"
My heart sank. That would take at least thirty minutes. The fakest of all possible smiles spread across my face. "Not a problem, sir."
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Without a further word, Undead Ned walked out of the front door.
[Evaluator: He seems like an Asshole.]
[Connor: He is.]
[Connor: Wait, can you SEE me?]
[Evaluator: I'd hardly be a good Evaluator if I couldn't keep track of you, would I?]
[Evaluator: Anyway, Connor Steinguild, I, the System Evaluator of your sector, have determined that you are worthy of a Skill Card.]
My heart skipped a beat. Was that really possible? I had my doubts but if he could see me...
[Connor: What, really?]
[Evaluator: No, not really. But I think it would be funny, so take one anyway.]
[Evaluator: By the way, you got one detail wrong]
My vision blurred as a shimmering light started to blaze in my chest. I fell to my knees as I felt the world around me start to spin. The light coalesced into a small, thin rectangle that slowly drifted its way out of my chest.
[Evaluator: See, you said there were four rarities of card, but there's actually 5. Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum...]
The skill card took form from the light. I couldn't believe it, it looked like a Platinum, but it was off somehow. Fancier. Like a holographic Pokemon card.
[Evaluator: And then at the very top, there's the Super Platinum. There's only a Handful in the entire world.]
[Evaluator: They're powerful enough to rocket a man to the very top of the Hunter Rankings.]
[Evaluator: And now there's one more.]
It took me a little time to get my feet back under me. I was in shock
[Card Name: Underworld Emperor: Class U]
[Card Rarity: S. Platinum]
[Card Type: Utility]
[Card Effect 1 (Passive effect) Deathwalker: You are no longer susceptible to poison, disease, exhaustion, or ill effects from hunger or thirst. You may still get benefits or enjoyment from eating or drinking, but it is no longer a necessity.]
[Card Effect 2 (Triggered Effect) Memento Mori: If any Hunter or Monster with a skill dies within 21(Intellect x1) feet of you, you gain one of their skills at random. This skill does not take up one of your skill deck slots, however, if you lose access to this card, you will also lose access to all skills gained from this ability.]
[Card Effect 3: Storming Hell's gate(Activated Effect): Warning! The Skill Storming Hell's Gate is a Limited Use ability. Once it is used, you will lose access to All effects of this card. By activating this ability, you can select one valid target-]
"What the fuck!?" I shouted, looking down at the card. "I've never heard of a card doing something like this before!"
I read through the rest of the ability. Holy shit, I'd never seen a card capable of anything like this before. It may have been the most powerful card effect I'd ever heard of, but could I really justify using it if it lost me the entire card?
I mean, you need to have a good card just to qualify for membership in most guilds. I might be able to live a better life by holding onto the card rather than actually using it. Or maybe I was just falling into that old Gamer mentality of never using limited use abilities, like how I always get to the end of Baldur's Gate 3 and realize I never used Shadowheart's Divine Intervention.
Either way, it did me no good if I didn't do anything with it. If I only had some good equipment...
Wait a second, I was so distracted by the evaluator and by reading the card's effects that I never bothered to shut down the cash register. I could still buy a few things and make it to Max's dungeon raid tomorrow!
[Evaluator: Look at you, actually following through and doing something with your life. Here I thought it was just a bluff.]
[Connor: You're still here?]
[Evaluator: Oh, you can't get rid of me that easily.]
[Connor: Well, yes. I told you I was going to change if I got a skill card.]
[Evaluator: Of course. I'd never accuse you of being the sort of person who just used a lame excuse to shift the blame for their lack of progress in life onto external forces. How uncouth.]
[Connor: Whatever]
[Connor: Now leave me alone for a while, I have to figure out what to buy for the Raid.]
[Evaluator: You think you can do that with no information about the dungeon?]
[Connor: I work in an item shop, I have plenty of information!]
[Evaluator: Like what?]
[Connor: Max bought a hammer, right? So whatever he's fighting is gonna be armored.]
[Connor: And in the last few days, we've sold out of poison antidotes every single day.]
[Evaluator: Oh really?]
[Connor: Not only that, but Max was wearing heavy armor. Heavy armor works best for fights with lots of little enemies, not small groups of big enemies.]
[Connor: Armor, poison, and big groups of enemies? That means Bug type monsters. I'd bet my shiny new skill card on it.]
[Evaluator: Oh, impressive. You might actually have a brain somewhere inside all that thick skull after all.]
[Connor: Your approval means everything to me, I truly mean that.]
[Evaluator: And you have Sass, too. Look at you go.]
I ignored that last message and walked over to the weapons display. Bugs had armored exoskeletons that made bladed weapons almost useless, but blunt weapons were perfect for them. I grabbed the first mace I could lay my hands on. It was an extremely basic weapon, but it should get me through the first several levels.
I definitely couldn't afford any of the Full Heal Potions that Max bought earlier, but a Lesser Healing Potion was way more in my budget, so I put one in a bag for myself.
"Last but definitely not least." I whispered as I approached the display case of Dungeon Keys.
If I went through with this...
If I bought one of these keys...
I'd have no choice but to become a Hunter. I'd be putting myself in a ridiculous amount of debt for the hope to make more money than I'd ever seen in one place at the same time. And if I failed, things would be even worse for me than they were now. I'd probably land up in a level of debt I'd never be able to escape from.
[Evaluator: Let me guess, even with one of the best skills in the game, you're about to pussy out and go back to your life as a minimum wage item shop cashier.]
Dammit. I unlocked the display case and started rifling through the keys. Whichever one I bought, it'd be my key for my entire career so I needed to pick one that fit me. Dungeon keys were a bizarre phenomenon, any key in the world could spontaneously transform into a dungeon key, giving anyone handling it a tingly electric feeling when they touched it. Anyone who had their keys transformed could sell them to stores like us for a tidy profit, and we sold them to aspiring Hunters for top dollar. My hand came away with an old iron key, but it looked like something that would open a Victorian Sanatorium. Another one was small and golden, and looked like it was meant to wind a clock. It was TOO small, I'd lose it for sure.
[Evaluator: You're stalling.]
[Connor: Fuck off, I really do need to pick the right one!]
[Evaluator: 50 bucks says the Right one isn't here and you head home without one, doomed to go home and cry into a plate of instant mac and cheese and a mountain dew.]
I pulled a car key, an airport locker key, and a house key from the display case. Sigh. None of them were MY key, you know. You know when you have the right one. But maybe the voice had a point. Maybe I should settle for something that-
This time I pulled out an enormous round key ring, the kind janitors carry. All the keys but one, a single, bulky door key marked "Broom Closet," had been removed.
[Evaluator: Really? You want to live the rest of your life with a dungeon key from Scruffy the Janitor?]
[Connor: The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long, Hrm-hmm.]
I locked the case and ran my Mace, potion, and key through the weird scanny thing next to the cash register. I don't know what its called, sue me. The machine spat out a price that could almost be mistaken for a phone number and I made several unintelligible sounds of vague protest. Pulling out my credit card I felt physical pain as I tapped the chip against the register and heard the beep of a sale going through.
[Evaluator: Holy shit, you actually did it. I actually lost money on that one. Sandra from HR is gonna eat well tonight.]
[Connor: I told you I would.]
[Connor: Wait, who the hell is Sandra? HR? Do you work for a company?]
[Evaluator: I like to believe that I fuck with you just enough that nothing I say can be taken as evidence of anything.]
I rolled my eyes at the message as I passed through the shop's front door and locked it behind me. As the lock clicked, I whispered a goodbye to my level one life.
