I stood back as Spark-Dog faced down against a horned red ant the size of a Rhino.
[Evaluator: There you go with your animal based size comparisons again.]
[Connor: Hey, it's Rhino. How much size difference could there be between Rhinos?]
Spark-Dog's gold card shimmered to life in front of him. "Gift of the Storm Dragon!" I got a much better look at the thing that came out of the card this time. Shimmering, crackling, blue-gold electricity formed into the shape of a colossal serpent and shot forward like a... like a...
[Evaluator: You were going to say "Like a bolt of lightning" weren't you?]
[Connor: I... hate you... So much.]
So it shot forward like a bolt of lightning. The part that surprised me is that the ant did the same thing. Tiny fires sparked at the tips of each of its six legs and sent it rocketing forward, its impaling horns aimed at the live streamer.
Ant and serpent slammed into each other, sparks and flames scattering in all directions. The summoned snake let out a deafening roar as the enormous ant bit into its side.
"Can that thing hurt it?"
Spark-Dog shook his head. "It doesn't have HP but every hit it takes knocks points off its summon timer. At this rate we're gonna have to take it on ourselves!"
"How long will the Thundersnake last?" I shouted over the struggle.
"Dragon! It's a Storm Dragon! And we should have another thirty seconds at the rate it's getting hit!"
[HP 62/65 SP 150/150]
Close enough to full. "I'll go in while it's distracted!" I drew the dagger he gave me and ran towards the grappled creatures. I raised the dagger as huge compound eyes turned to face me. "Oh shi-"
That's when the ant spat fire directly into the Thundersnake's face. I watched in horror as the lightning that made up its body slowly trickled down to nothing and the thing disappeared. The Ant swiveled to face me, fire sparking to life on its feet once again. "It's going to charge again..." I muttered, staring my doom in the face. What the hell, I'd gotten this far with joke strategies and memes, might as well try a good old fashioned dodge roll. As soon as the ant lowered its head, I threw my body downward and to the side, landing awkwardly on my elbows. I shifted weight onto my shoulder and let momentum carry me forward, hoping it was enough to not get hit. I could feel the ant start to move behind me as I went almost totally vertical and then...
Pain.
A lance of pain shot up my arm. I had to imagine the ant got it, that it had been melted off to the wrist. A Blast of warm air from the ant's passing hit me in the back. Wait, what on earth happened to my-
My borrowed dagger was nearly an inch deep into the flesh of my left hand.
"SON OF A BITCH!"
[Evaluator: Did you really just do that? Did you just stab yourself in the hand?]
[Connor: OW OW OW OW WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?]
[Evaluator: You did, you really did, you tried to somersault with a knife in your hand and you stuck yourself.]
[Connor: IT WORKS IN VIDEO GAMES, OKAY?]
[Connor: THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN DARK SOULS!]
[Evaluator: GIT GUD SCRUB]
[HP 52/65 SP 125/150]
Okay. I acknowledge I am an idiot. But I'm an alive idiot. I pulled the dagger out of my hand and turned back to the ant. I swear it was laughing at me.
"Kid, get back!" Spark-Dog jumped over me, holding a sword made of lightning. "I got this!"
"Where did you even get that?" I shouted as he drove the lightning blade down towards the ant's head. Sparks flew as he collided with the monster's carapace. It didn't seem like the ant was taking any damage at all.
[Connor: Do you know anything about what's happening? Why is it so resistant to damage?]
[Evaluator: It's a stairwell guardian. Its armor is too strong for blades.]
[Evaluator: And the two of you have no bludgeoning weapons.]
I waved away the message to find Spark-Dog shaking me. "Focus up, kid. We might have to run for it!''
The ant wiggled its antennae at us, before the flames erupted from its legs again. It was going to charge. Wait a second...
"Hey, uh... Spark-dog? I've got an idea. I think we might be able to win this."
He pushed me out of the way as the ant barreled past, stopping just before it hit the wall. "I think I just figured out its weakness!" I said, looking up.
"I don't think I'm gonna be much help. I can't feel my leg." Spark-Dog's entire left leg pant leg was burned away, his skin burnt away nearly to the muscle. I could smell it, like bacon frying. "Can you stand up? Your health must be ridiculous, I doubt this is gonna be-"
He shook his head. "Full on Glass Cannon. Me, Yetiman, Magmegan, we all went the same route, deal as much damage as quick as possible so nothing survives long enough to hurt us. It works great with three of us, and with Nick tanking, but I'm not meant to do this by myself."
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I handed him the knife back. "Think you could pop that lightning power on this blade? I think I can get us out of this in one piece if I can hit it hard enough."
"Heh, you got heart kid." He took the knife and I watched electricity spread over the length of it. "You're gonna get yourself killed, you know that?"
"Or die trying." I let out a little laugh as I took the knife by the handle. I could feel my arm tingling, like I'd touched an exposed wire or licked a nine volt battery.
The ant turned to face us again. I started running, creating distance between me and Spark-Dog. I could get out of the way, I wanted it to come at me, not him. Flames licked out of its feet again. "Come and get me."
It charged, and I made a quick running jump to its side. Momentum carried it past me, and again, it stopped short of the wall. This time I wasn't going to sit and wait, I ran up to it with my knife drawn and swung for the head.
Specifically, I went for the soft connection points between its left antenna and the top of its head. The ant's head swiveled towards me but the knife struck, digging its way through halfway through the chitinous appendage. The ant roared or... chittered? At me. I kept pushing, mustering all my muscle to push the blade further. Just a few days ago I wouldn't have been able to scratch it, but now the armored hide parted like butter. The knife clipped through the last of it and sent the antenna flying. The ant swung its horns at me, and I jumped away. If I could bait one more charge...
Instead it turned towards Spark-Dog before igniting its feet one more time.
"Shit! SD, do you have one more dodge in you?"
"One is all I can do!" he called back. "If it keeps attacking me I'm done for!"
"I think one is all we'll need!" I yelled back before whipping the knife at the ant. "Please let this work..."
The knife snagged into the right antenna, dug maybe a quarter of the way in, and stopped dead. Shit. The Antennae were sensory organs, I had hoped we could disrupt its charge attacks if it didn't have them any more.
The Ant started its charge. Spark-Dog kicked his good leg and both arms off of the wall, pushing himself out of the way. He hit the ground, face first, and tumbled into an awkward sprawl. He had been right, he'd never be able to make that dodge again on just one leg.
BAM
The ant slammed full force into the wall. One half of an antennae apparently wasn't enough to calculate the charge correctly. The thing shook its head strangely, as chunks of its natural armor flaked off of its head. It worked!
"Look! That charge damaged its own head!"
"Well, I'll be" Spark-Dog called back "Good one, kid!"
I picked up a rock and tossed it lightly in the air a few times. The impact had already pushed my dagger deeper in, one more bump should finish the job...
The ant turned its attention to me again. I was the threat now. I'd taken its awareness of its surroundings. It thought I was the bigger threat right now. And it was probably right, to be fair.
The ant's feet ignited. It was committed to a course now. That meant it couldn't dodge my thrown rock! I sent it hurling end over end at the beast as it flew forward at me. It hit the dagger head on, the ant's own momentum helping the rock drive straight through the weakened antenna. Without that, it shouldn't be able to continue its charge.
I said, it shouldn't be able to continue charging...
It... kept coming straight at me. Shit. A whirlwind of fire and chitin hit me like a truck. My skin blazed, my nerves fried. My existence was pure, blinding pain for a handful of seconds. Literally blinding, my eyes clamped shut out of shock. I felt my bones crunch as the ant's body pressed me into the rock wall behind me.
[HP 2/65 SP 50/150]
I was just barely not dead. I could hear the ant chittering at me in what sounded like outrage. I was able to open one of my eyes enough to see the thing.
It was just as bad a shape as I was. Its hard exoskeleton had cracked open, revealing the tender flesh inside of its skull. It was barely moving, but it was still moving. I guess I'd lost. "Oh well..." I sighed. "I had a good run."
The ant stepped towards me. I could see its legs start to smoke as it prepared another charge. I was dead. It was probably dead too. For whatever that was worth. It was a draw.
"Hey, you ugly son of a bitch!" Spark-dog called from off to one side. "Guess what just came off cooldown!"
The ant turned its head at the last second and the Thundersnake slammed into the hole it its head. It shrieked as the summon burrowed into it, cracks in its armor crisscrossing all around its body.
The boss ant literally exploded, showering the area with bug guts.
[Your party has killed a Hellfire Ant. You have received 250 XP.]
[Your Skill's Triggered Ability Memento Mori has been activated.]
