Fall of Autumn, Week 4, Day 7

  I watched in slow motion as the shock registered on Effy’s face. It began slowly, with her eyes widening. Then it was her hands. They froze mid-sip and caused her tea to jostle and splash out of the cup.

  “Did it—no, did Noir just speak?” Effy said breathlessly.

  I nodded lightly and took a sip of my Cloudgazer tea. It was fruity and too sweet, but I knew that would be the case beforehand, so I only huffed my disappointment a little.

  “Right now, he’ll only speak when I direct him to,” I hummed, looking down at Noir and taking in the way his knit body absorbed the light around him, making him appear like a void. “But, when my commands aren’t restricting him, he’s able to speak at will.”

  I wondered if I should be saying such things to a stranger. But there was something about Effy, about the way she was warm but not too hot, soft but with just enough edge to remind me she was more than a stereotype of a priestess. I liked her, and, though once upon a time I had feared what it meant for my Class to be known, now I simply wished to live as I pleased.

  Sharing what I could do when I wanted to. I would no longer be controlled by my fear. Not in this. Not ever again. Because my creations are my strength, my support, my love. They deserve more than to be hidden away, forced to exist only behind closed doors.

  I could create spirits, after all.

  They were beings more than the sum of their parts. They didn’t need to be stuck in my knit animals, even if that was how I often called them —and though I could give them commands, I preferred it when they were free to do as they pleased.

  Spirits, the beings that usually empowered a person’s Skills and Class. It was reversed in my case. I was the Elementalist, and they were the contractees. Only able to grace the mortal plane via my Skill. Secluded from other spirits so long as they remained tethered to me.

  I released a slow breath, and my eyes met Effy’s, “It’s a sad thing, that he only comes alive with my Skill. One day, I’ll have Leveled it so high that the Skill never ends. That he’ll be free to do as he pleases.”

  Noir turned his head to me. I gave him a small smile and a gentle pat on the head.

  “Whether he leaves me or stays will be up to him, but the Skill? It will no longer be his chains. He will truly be free. And maybe so will I.”

  Effy blinked her eyes rapidly and gave a wobbly smile, “Nora, I’d invite you to come to my office anytime. I’m here all week, save for Eighth Day, and I often teach Skill classes for the children in Winter alongside some other priests.”

  I smiled, and it was genuine. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll probably only be able to come by on Seventh Days. I’m set to join the tower and the sword academy as a student, not to mention that Countess Dawn has insisted on home tutors for other subjects, and I’ll need time for my own endeavors.”

  And I’d rather spend as little time with the Divine as possible. I thought, but did my best to keep off of my face. It was easy when Effy gave me such a thoughtful look.

  I took another deep sip of my Cloudgazer tea, leaving about half of the liquid in my cup to continue fueling the clouds atop the rim of the porcelain.

  “You will be a busy girl. Winter is meant to be a time of self-improvement, but I worry you will be pushed to the brink.”

  I thought for a moment, rolling the concern on my tongue. And then I gave Effy a wide grin, a rare thing for me. I knew who I was —a girl of small smiles and dark thoughts. But being with a Priestess of the God of Warmth was a soothing experience. And so I couldn’t help but to give in to the urge. To smile, to grin, to be merry.

  Because Effy had said something I cherished.

  “You don’t need to worry about me. The brink is where I’d like to be. For a while, at least.”

  Effy blinked. After a beat had passed, she laughed so heartily that I felt it in my own chest.

  “Very well, I won’t spend too much time dwelling on the pressures of a member of the Dawn.” Her eyes twinkled as she spoke, and I laughed lightly as Effy lifted her tea back up to her lips and took several deep sips in a row.

  “Well, then,” Effy said dramatically, placing her now empty cup down on the short table between us, “I won’t keep you much longer. Just one last question —are you ready for what awaits you outside my doors?”

  I looked at the door, my smile falling slightly, morphing it into one of resignation.

  Nobles, citizens of Maeve, priests, and priestesses. All waiting for me to emerge from this room. Each with their own wants and desires. Each with their own machinations of my power.

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  “I am. I won’t like it, and I’ll try to escape it even though I know it’s unavoidable, but I’m ready.”

  And it was the truth. I wouldn’t crumble, not ever again. Such a thing is impossible. Not after I’d been forged in fire. The breaking, that was reserved for when I was alone, when no one could hear my cries over the loss of Sir Rellar’s life. I was stronger in some ways, now. More sure of my place in the hierarchy of this world. More sure of my will to continue, to thrive, to grow.

  Morloch would be proud of me.

  Probably, I laughed internally. If he ever even thinks about me.

  Effy nodded, her green eyes looking mischievous, “If you’re truly unwilling to meet with anyone, I can direct you out the back. Arella and Neil can join you.”

  I thought about it for a long moment. Too long. I wanted to take her up on it.

  Instead, I huffed at her.

  “I can’t run away. It’ll just make next week worse.”

  I set down my teacup and reached out for Noir, pulling him close to my chest.

  “Besides, I’ll have you, Noir, right?”

  “Right.” His voice was strong and resounding. I smiled down at him.

  “Very well,” Effy said, staring at the knit bunny with a swirl of emotions I couldn’t decipher. “Let me see you out.”

  Effy stood, her silver robes reflecting the light, and held out her hand for me to grab. I took it, unflinching, and stood as well.

  “She’s nice, right, my Lady?” Sir Neil said lightly as he escorted me down the hall away from Effy’s office.

  “She’s been serving Ital in Fellan since I was young,” Dame Arella nodded and lowered her voice, “Her Divinity and Vitality help keep her looking so young.”

  I smiled at the blonde-haired knight, “Well, she can’t be older than thirty, right? Does that mean she’s really sixty?”

  Both Dame Arella and Sir Neil slowed in their steps. They shared a look, and Sir Neil spoke even quieter, “She’s over a hundred, my Lady. And her Level reflects it.”

  I looked behind me at the now-closed door that led to Effy’s office.

  “By any chance, is she a grandmother?” I asked.

  “Several times over,” Dame Arella confirmed.

  “She gives off the vibe,” I nodded solemnly, “Why else would she keep Cloudgazers in her office?”

  Dame Arella grinned down at me, and when she reached out, it was a hesitant thing, but she continued. And I felt a warm hand pressed against my head, patting the top of my braids and causing the charms in my hair to jingle.

  For a moment, I felt transcendent. As though the weight on my heart from Sir Rellar was but a pebble rather than a boulder. As though the nightmares were weeks ago and not mere hours. As though I could breathe, if only for a moment.

  And then her hand was gone, and we were back to approaching the main hall, where Sylvie and Juniper were sitting and chatting with the standing squires.

  The pews had emptied out, with only a dozen or so people milling about, half of which appeared to be priests, and half were the wealthier factions of Fellan.

  I grumbled to myself and pulled ahead of Sir Neil and Dame Arella, waving at the group waiting for me. Not for the first time, I noticed the bags under Juniper’s eyes and the way she avoided Sylvie’s gaze. But still, she waved back and jumped up.

  As she did, I caught sight of a man beelining for me. He was dressed in a brown suit with a matching vest, and he was ushering a young boy in front of him. They both had dark gray hair and shining blue eyes.

  “Lady Dawn,” the man called out as he approached, “Please, a moment if you will.”

  Internally, my wheels were spinning. I hadn’t learned anything about Fellan’s nobility or merchant scene yet, so the man’s identity was lost on me. But still, I looked up at him with a smile.

  “Hello, sir,” I said.

  “Phineas, Phineas Starling,” the man started, then gestured to the young boy with pink cheeks, “And this is my younger brother Paul. We’re the sons of Baronet Starling.”

  I didn’t specifically recall the name because my memory was far from perfect, but I could piece together it was a name granted by a Duke or Duchess of Dawn. Most sun and star-related names were, and as they were the sons of a Baronet, their titles were simple. They were Sirs. Not Lords or Young Lords because Baronets were granted no land to oversee.

  “Ah, Sirs Starling, it’s a pleasure.” I tilted my head slightly forward, as the etiquette book would call for, and waited for the Starling brothers to bow in response.

  It was an awkward half-second wherein Phineas Starling shoved his brother's head down and then lowered himself as well.

  “The pleasure is ours, Lady Dawn.” Phineas released his hold on the boy’s neck and looked at him while he spoke, “I hear you’ll be enrolling in the latest class at the Fellan Swordsmanship Academy. Paul has been there for half a season. Perhaps he could show you around when it comes time for your enrollment.”

  His voice was smooth like silk. And oily. I wasn’t a fan but I kept my face soft anyway.

  “Perhaps,” I agreed noncommittally, “We’ll see. I’ll be attending come First Day. How often do you attend, Sir Starling?”

  I directed my question at the boy, whose chubby cheeks had only grown rosy over the course of our chat.

  “I–I attend the first four days of the week, then the second half I have off.”

  I nodded sagely, “Then you’ll be there on my first day. Don’t be shy. Say hi when you see me.”

  “Of-of course, Lady Dawn.” Paul stuttered out.

  “Great,” I widened my smile, “But if you’ll excuse me—I have an appointment–”

  “Oh!” Phineas interrupted, clasping his hands together, “Of course, my Lady! It was our pleasure. We look forward to your time in Fellan, of course. Do call on us anytime.”

  I nodded and took a step away, “Of course, Sirs Starling. It was a pleasure for me as well. Thank you for the warm welcome.”

  I got two rows over before I was stopped by a woman and her child –Madam and Miss, they were merchants. Then a family of three, then two priests who thanked me for my donation, and a third priest who asked me about my plans for Winter classes.

  All in all, I made it out of the church after nearly half an hour of intrusions.

  But, it was time to explore the town, so even the machinations of the higher classes of Fellan couldn’t derail my excitement.

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