I called Spencer the next morning. The first words out of her mouth when she picked up were, "I know you have some secret that you're keeping from me."

  "What? I'm not keeping any secrets from you, Spence," I insisted, rubbing sleep out of my eyes.

  "Chloe, seriously. You said you'd be there. You said you'd take photos of my art, and you totally blew it off! And you ditched everyone else, too. We all went out for pizza after the gallery because we got tired of waiting." Her tone was sharp, but there was something underneath it, something hurt and lonely. And I felt awful.

  "I'm so sorry," I said, putting my forehead in my palm. "I... Something came up."

  "Something came up," Spencer echoed back to me in the same flat, unhappy tone I'd said it. "Really?"

  I wanted to tell her everything. About Emiarhia. About the prophecy. But I couldn't. "I'm sorry," was all I said.

  There was a long silence. I felt terrible, knowing that I'd said I'd support her in a moment where she needed a friend. And I had completely failed. I tried to think of something I could say to fix it, to explain.

  But she broke the silence first. "Sometimes, you act like a totally different person."

  I let my forehead slide off my palm and drop onto my desk with a dull thunk.

  "It's like, all of a sudden, you have these things going on in your life that I don't know about. That you don't want to tell me about, like you don't even trust me."

  "It's not you, it's just–" I began.

  "Oh, god, don't you even; that is the stupidest line ever. Don't say, 'it's not you, it's me', because it makes no sense and it's completely lame and I'm really, really angry at you. So I hope it was important. Whatever it was. I really do."

  There was a long, miserable pause.

  "Spence," I tried, "I really am sorry. I-I had this... My neighbours wanted me to babysit Winnie again, and...it went later than I expected. It just got hectic. And my phone died, and I didn't bring a charger... But I couldn't leave her..." I finished lamely. It was all lies and I hated every single word of it. But it was the only thing I could think of. Surely a lie is better than no reason at all, right?

  There was a lull, and I felt a flicker of hope that Spencer might be buying it, but she cut me off with a bitter, "Uh-huh," and another pause. Finally, she sighed and said, "Why didn't you call me on their landline, then?"

  "They don't have one," I said automatically. At least that part was true.

  There was another, longer pause, then she said, "Okay. Fine. I just... I just really needed you there, y'know? Like, it's not easy...with all those people there... And you weren't... I'm... I'm mad at you. Okay?"

  "Okay," I said miserably.

  "You owe me," she added.

  "I'll make it up to you."

  "How?"

  "I don't know yet," I admitted. "But I will. I promise. I swear I'll make it up to you somehow."

  "Okay. But if you stand me up like that again..." she trailed off.

  I said, "I won't," and felt worse than ever, knowing that was a promise I might not be able to keep.

  "Good," was all she said before she hung up on me.

  I leaned my forehead on my desk again, feeling completely rotten. It wasn't right, and I knew it. It wasn't right not telling my friends what was going on in my life. And yet, it was the right thing to do. I couldn't put my friends in danger just because I didn't want to tell a lie. At least I hadn't told the truth. I didn't want to think about what could happen if I'd been stupid enough to do that.

  I sat there at my desk for a long while, moping, and staring at my phone as though if I looked at it for long enough, it might ring again, and I'd get another chance to do things right. Eventually, I dragged myself up out of the chair and got ready for my day, trying my hardest not to think about the things I couldn't have changed and the things that couldn't be fixed. Kadia and the other instructors had another professional development day – usually a bimonthly occurrence – so I didn't even have training to distract me.

  After taking a warm shower, I stood in front of the mirror, trying to see the same person I was six months ago. It wasn't the same girl who had packed her bags for California and hopped on that plane with dreams of beaches, sun and success. I wasn't sure I'd ever get back to the girl I'd been, now that I knew about magic, and monsters, and prophecies. It seemed like it had happened overnight. But it had happened, and now my entire life felt like a lie. Like my whole existence had been a big fat fib up until I found that necklace in the attic, and the whole universe was conspiring against me in a never-ending battle between truth and fiction. I tried to shake it off – this weird funk – but it clung to me all through my morning, even while I had breakfast with my parents and tried to watch TV with them for a bit.

  When my phone finally did vibrate, I dove for it like a life raft, and the wave of disappointment that hit me when it turned out not to be Spencer made my heart sink. However, the disappointment was short-lived. A text from Luke. It read simply:

  Sorry you missed everything last night. Hope you're okay.

  I hesitated. How to reply... How honest to be... 'No, I'm not okay. Everything's wrong and weird. I miss my best friend, who is mad at me, and I miss my normal life that I know was fake, and I can't deal with all this. And now you're part of it, and I can't tell you.'

  I took a deep breath and wrote: I'm ok. Just had something come up last minute. I really am sorry I couldn't make it!

  Just over fifteen minutes later, his reply arrived.

  Hey, it happens. Spencer was bummed though. She really wanted you there. I told her everyone's bummed, and that I'd talk to you today. She was pretty upset

  I knew Luke meant well, and I was glad that he was being kind about it, but it just made me feel worse. Like he was taking pity on me for being such a lousy friend.

  Yeah. I talked to her earlier. Not happy with me.

  The response was nearly immediate this time: It'll be okay. Don't worry too much

  I sighed. It was a nice thought. But there were plenty of things to worry about these days.

  Thanks, I said anyway.

  I was working on some homework upstairs when I got a new message from Luke a little later. For a second, I hoped it might be Spencer, but it was definitely Luke.

  So this is gonna sound weird, but would it be wrong of me to guess you're not feeling that great?

  My heart flip-flopped in my chest. Sometimes, it felt like everyone was reading my mind. Trying to keep it light, I replied, If you MUST know, I'm moping

  His response was fast: Knew it

  I grinned, chuckling softly. Nothing gets past you. But why is that relevant?

  Five minutes went by without an answer. I could feel my anxiety beginning to rise, and started to suspect there was more to Luke's question than he was telling me. Finally, my phone went off again:

  I'm going for a drive. Should I pick you up?

  I stared at the text, feeling strangely touched. It wasn't even that Luke would offer to spend time with me; the shock came from how sincerely thoughtful the idea was. He was trying to cheer me up. He wanted to see me, when I was down, and maybe some quality time would make me feel better. Not that I was completely guilt-free or blameless, but... It was sweet. That was all.

  Shaking off that sentimental notion, I checked the weather. Not sunny, but not unpleasant, either. I could use some fresh air. It was better than pacing aimlessly around the house with this jittery feeling in my stomach.

  Sounds great, I typed.

  Be there in fifteen! he sent back.

  It would've been ridiculous to start primping at this point. After all, I wasn't going on a date, nor was it a fancy dinner. But I took the time to make sure my hair was neat, and put on mascara. I shouldn't have cared so much. Just a friend offering to take me for a drive. But my heart still fluttered and fidgeted.

  Almost twenty minutes later, I threw a hoodie on, grabbed my purse, and descended the stairs.

  "Where are you off to?" Mom asked, eyebrow raised.

  "Going out for a drive with a friend," I answered. "Getting restless inside the house."

  "A friend?" she questioned further, shooting me a suspicious look.

  "Luke, Mom. Chill..."

  "Right, right. Just checking. Text me if you're going to be home late."

  I rolled my eyes and headed out the door. She made sure to remind me over my shoulder to be careful. I waved her away and set off down the driveway, hearing the quiet rumble of a car coming up the road as it slowed and stopped beside me.

  At first, I didn't think it was Luke. It was an Audi; a shiny, black TT RS. I knew little about cars, but I recognized this one. It was high-end and expensive. A surprise, for sure. But less of one as I remembered it was actually his uncle's. Then, the window rolled down, and I saw Luke inside, that casual smile on his face, and I froze.

  "You coming?"

  His smile. His gaze. Him. Right there. In a white t-shirt and brown leather jacket. I felt my throat turn dry. He waited patiently while I gathered my bearings. If he noticed the moment of stunned idiocy, he gave no indication, and only looked to the passenger seat, asking me with his eyes if I was going to join him.

  When my feet finally got moving again, it was for all of two steps, followed by a quick half-jog, then the door was open and I was crawling into the seat. He nodded a silent greeting. And despite the cool weather, I was burning up. As I reached for the seatbelt and struggled slightly with the angle to click it in place, I decided, then and there, that maybe fate really was screwing with me.

  "Nice car," I managed to say when it was clear he wasn't going to initiate the conversation. A stupendous waste of words. Clearly, I'm charming.

  "If you'd rather to go for a drive in a '67 Corvette, let me know," he said.

  I chuckled, feeling the anxiety subsiding.

  "My uncle would love to hear that I'd lent it to someone other than myself," Luke explained. "I'd be surprised if he ever lets me near it again."

  "Oh? Sounds like there's a story attached to that," I remarked as he pulled away from my house and took off down the street.

  He let out a sharp exhale, half a sigh and half a laugh. "It's not much of a story. He let me take it out on a drive for a few hours last year. I ended up coming back late."

  "How late?"

  "Three a.m. Give or take. He'd stayed up all night waiting for me."

  I whistled quietly.

  He shot me a guilty glance. "In my defense, I'd texted him to tell him I'd be late, and that the car was still in one piece. And it still was when I gave it back."

  "Somehow, I doubt that made things any better," I laughed.

  He grimaced slightly and shrugged. "It's his baby."

  We were out on the main roads, driving through the neighbourhoods of San Diego. Luke seemed content to drive quietly. I wasn't sure where we were headed, and he hadn't bothered to tell me, so I assumed he was driving just to drive. That was something he seemed to have an affinity for. Something that brought him a certain amount of inner peace. Or maybe a sort of escape.

  "Where are we going, by the way?" I finally asked when he pulled onto the highway, going north.

  "It's this nice garden boardwalk place, beside a beach. Not too far," he answered.

  I was content to watch him drive. I found it rather calming. And there was a sense of peace in his expression, like this was one of those things he did just to be, instead of to achieve anything. We spent the majority of the drive in silence. He seemed perfectly fine with this arrangement. I, however, was not so adept at being so still. I tried to look out the window at the city going by, but the buildings didn't really seem all that interesting.

  I found my gaze constantly being drawn back to the boy beside me. There was something about Luke that had always fascinated me. Perhaps it was how much he seemed to contain. The calm and the chaos that mingled beneath the surface, swirling just below his skin, encased so completely in an easygoing fa?ade that had always given the impression he was much like me. He seemed like an ordinary guy to most. But there were hints. Here and there. Some small signs that something bigger was lurking. But he was always in control, never sloppy, and he rarely let slip his confident exterior. It left you feeling like maybe it was all in your head, that he was nothing more than what you saw on the surface.

  "Is something wrong?" Luke asked.

  I flinched at his words and looked away. "What?"

  "I thought you might have something to say. You've been glancing over for a while now. Did you have a question, or...?"

  I shook my head, blushing furiously. "Sorry, I... No. Just lost in thought, I guess."

  "Oh," he said with a nod. There was a brief moment of awkwardness. Then, he took a quick breath and asked, "I don't think you told me why you had to bail out on us yesterday. If that's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I just... I figured it's probably why you're moping."

  I didn't quite know how to respond at first. I didn't like lying, but I had no choice. "The Lewis' wanted me to babysit Winnie again. It was pretty last-minute, but it wasn't supposed to cut into the time I said I'd be available, but then things went late, and there were some hiccups, and my phone died... And, well, here we are. And I'm really sorry."

  Luke frowned. "What kind of hiccups are we talking about here?"

  "Uh..." I faltered for a moment, thinking for a plausible explanation. "She wouldn't go to bed," I decided upon. "So we had a bit of an ordeal to get her to lie down. She's really a handful, sometimes."

  He didn't look entirely convinced, and I tried not to feel like I was a criminal trying to talk my way out of jail time. "Huh. Well, if you were there all day and into the night, you probably had to deal with some pretty intense stuff."

  I felt my mouth going dry and struggled to come up with a good response. "It was nothing I couldn't handle," I finally managed to say. "Just wasn't fun."

  He was quiet for a time. Long enough for the awkwardness to be noticeable. I was trying not to get frustrated by his pensive attitude.

  I decided to change the topic. "So, how was the gallery? Were there lots of people there?"

  Luke glanced at me with a thoughtful look in his eye, as though trying to determine what I was getting at by switching the subject. But the thought passed. "There was a pretty decent crowd. Lots of people mingling. A good atmosphere, all things considered."

  I smiled slightly, feeling a twinge of regret for having missed out. "Were there lots of cool art pieces?"

  He nodded, eyes bright. "Definitely. There was some pretty amazing stuff there. Spencer's stuff really stood out, I think. But I'm biased." He laughed lightly and smiled. "She had a few people stop by and chat with her. Potential buyers, or college recruiters, or something. I don't think she was too happy to be dealing with all the schmoozing that goes on in those kinds of things, but she seemed to take it well."

  "That's really great," I said earnestly.

  "Yeah, I thought so." He looked over at me, his smile still in place, but more subdued. "Wish you'd been there to see it."

  "I really wanted to. I really did." I hoped he would be able to believe me. "I'm glad things worked out well for her. I know you must've been a big part of it all going smoothly. Thank you."

  He let out another laugh. "Hey, all I did was carry stuff and take some photos. Nothing spectacular there. She did all the work."

  My stomach twisted. "Oh... Well, I'm glad she still got pictures."

  "Me too. Otherwise, she probably would've spent all night cursing your name, instead of only half the night," he joked, and I gave a strained smile in response.

  The hum of the engine and the tires rolling over pavement were the only sounds in the car as Luke drove along the coast. Eventually, we arrived at the place he'd spoken of. He drove the car up along a winding path until the road ended and turned into a small parking lot. He pulled in next to the other vehicles. There was a ton of empty parking spaces, and there didn't seem to be many people out walking through the gardens.

  We stepped out into the cool, afternoon air, and I took in my surroundings. A wooden path with wooden rails wrapped around a section of land jutting out into the Pacific Ocean. I closed the car door behind me. We began to stroll along the boardwalk, which was elevated off the ground so that we were overlooking the beach below us.

  There was a soft wind coming off the water. It carried a refreshing chill. I walked beside Luke, following the trail that looped around in a large oval. The grassy area in the centre was overrun with various shrubbery and colourful flowers.

  Luke's expression was serene as he strode along in a comfortable silence. I tried to appreciate the beauty of our surroundings as we walked through the gardens, but couldn't quite clear my mind enough to do so. My gaze wandered, my attention drifting off towards the waves below. It wasn't until the two of us stopped on one side of the loop to overlook the ocean that I really took it in. The waves crashed along the rocks sticking out from the beach, creating an echo that resounded up into the gardens, where the ocean mist lingered in the air. I took a deep breath.

  "This is beautiful," I murmured quietly.

  "It is," Luke said softly, taking in the sight.

  He leaned his forearms along the wooden rail. The wind swept across his face, causing his hair to dance slightly in the breeze. I wondered if he knew how striking he could be when he wasn't paying attention, or how much he drew the eye when he was. And yet, he never tried to be the centre of attention.

  He let out a slow breath and turned his head to me. I was caught off-guard by the warmth in his eyes. "Feeling any better yet?"

  I managed a slight smile. "Somewhat. I've been slacking on my morning runs lately. Maybe that's what's got me all messed up. Lack of routine and all that. Too much change."

  He nodded, gazing out to the ocean again. "Makes sense. Routines are nice. You know what you're getting. But change is necessary sometimes."

  "I get that, I do," I assured him, leaning on the wooden railing beside him, facing the same direction, "but some days... I don't know."

  We lapsed into a short silence, watching the ocean flow over the rocks.

  "Do you ever feel like there's some grand plan that's been set in place, but nobody's bothering to fill you in? Like everyone's got an instruction booklet but you," Luke asked after a while.

  I couldn't help but laugh a bit at that. "Like some inside joke that I don't understand? Yeah. All the time."

  He glanced over. "How do you handle it?"

  I took a breath to respond, but stopped myself before the words could spill out of my mouth. Because it didn't matter. The truth of my life was so bizarre and ridiculous that he wouldn't even believe it, and then there would be questions and vague answers and so many lies. In some ways, I wasn't exactly handling things, just coping. Kadia and everyone else were the ones doing the handling of important matters. I was just following directions.

  I settled on, "I guess I try to be patient, and hope that, in time, everything will sort itself out. And until then, I just do the best I can. Roll with the punches."

  Luke considered this with a small nod. "That's probably all you can do."

  I let out a small chuckle. "So, how have things been on your end lately? Other than your uncle being a stickler, and dealing with me ditching on you, things good?"

  He smiled and glanced back over his shoulder, turning back towards the path. "Yeah, I guess. It's been good. Classes are tough, but manageable, I suppose." He shrugged, hands shoved in his pockets. "You know how it goes."

  I smiled in return, not really sure what else to say, so I fell quiet and continued walking. We moved slowly along the path. There was a sort of serenity that settled over us, an amiable peace as we walked, the sounds of the ocean accompanying us as we went. It was nice. Being with someone who didn't want anything from you, someone who just let you be, without trying to fill every second with unnecessary chatter. Someone you didn't have to act for. It felt easy. It was like he wasn't even expecting anything from me, and so I felt I didn't have to do anything other than be myself. It was strange how such a simple thing could feel so important.

  At one point, we stepped off the main trail and onto a narrower side trail, which led us over to the cliffside overlooking the water. We walked side by side along the rocky edge until we arrived at a small wooden bench. There, Luke and I took a seat and watched the waves break upon the rocks and the clouds drift lazily overhead.

  "Thanks for doing this, by the way," I said after a short while. "For inviting me, and driving, and for... I'm not really sure why you wanted to do any of this, but thank you."

  "Why not?" he asked.

  "What?"

  Luke turned his gaze away from the ocean and towards me. "Why not invite you to come here with me?"

  "Well, it's just that–" I began, but he interrupted.

  "What, you don't want to hang out? I'm offended, Chloe. Here I was, thinking we were friends." He put on an exaggerated look of betrayal.

  I was unable to keep from laughing. "We are! It's just... I mean..." I struggled for the right words to express myself, and after a moment, I sighed, defeated. "I don't know."

  He shrugged, amused, and leaned back against the bench, slumping down into a more relaxed posture. "It's just nice, isn't it? Having someone to just exist with?"

  I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Is that what you think of us? We just exist with each other?"

  He grinned and stretched his arm across the back of the bench behind me. "It's as close to an existential crisis as I can manage, without all the philosophy stuff," he explained, and I laughed again. "I figured you'd appreciate the sentiment. Besides," he continued, gesturing out towards the horizon, "it's not a bad view."

  "Not at all."

  A light breeze swept across the cliff, bringing with it the distant, salty scent of the sea and the chill of the water. There was always something so peaceful about just watching the waves ebb and flow. The steady rise and fall. The sun glinting off the surface, painting the ocean with streaks of light. It made me feel small and insignificant, in a good way.

  "So..." Luke drew the word out.

  I waited for him to continue. "So..." I parroted when he didn't.

  He looked at me, a neutral expression on his face. "I don't want to sound like I'm being nosy or anything, but..." He hesitated for a second. "I'm pretty sure you were lying about why you had to ditch yesterday. And I don't mean to pry, but..."

  I stiffened, feeling my chest constrict in a mixture of shame and panic. "Oh... Why do you think that?"

  He raised an eyebrow at me, then looked off towards the horizon. "I've known you for a fair while, Chloe. I'd like to think I can tell when something's up."

  My breath caught in my throat. I tried to think of a suitable response. My mind raced for a plausible lie, but I came up with nothing. The silence stretched out between us.

  "But besides that, I ran into Mr. and Mrs. Lewis, and Winnie at the grocery store yesterday," he explained, breaking the tension. "Before the gallery. I was picking up a few things for dinner. She recognized me; we chatted for a minute. She told me that the three of them were leaving town to visit the rest of their family for the weekend. Said they weren't going to be back until late on Monday night."

  I kept my eyes locked on the ocean. I couldn't bring myself to look at Luke. A hot, burning sensation grew in my stomach, twisting like a knot. It felt just like when I was a little kid, and I'd gotten in trouble for fibbing to my parents. The weight of someone's disappointment mixed with the knowledge that it was deserved.

  Luke watched me for a long moment. When I said nothing, he gave a small shrug, then said, "So, if you want to talk about what's actually going on, you know I'm here. But I don't need all the details. I just want you to be honest."

  I managed a small nod. "Thanks. I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't want to lie. But it was sort of necessary. Something sprang up... I didn't mean to miss the gallery. I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything about it." I stopped short of spilling everything out. It would've been all too easy.

  "I believe you." His features softened. "But... I guess I just have a question, if you'll let me."

  "I can't guarantee an answer."

  "That's fair," he replied. "What... What kind of thing did you have to take care of?"

  I hesitated. There was a momentary struggle in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking, What if I just told him? Would he believe me? Would he freak out? Would he be excited? Would he just laugh in my face and call me crazy? What if I told him everything, and it went well? Maybe he could help. Maybe I could have someone on Earth to talk about Emiarhia with, other than Mom and Dad. I could really use that...

  But, no. I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to drag him into all this mess. Regardless, I'd be going back on my word.

  "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I can't tell you."

  "Can't, or won't?

  "I don't know. Maybe a bit of both."

  Luke hesitated, before nodding and accepting my answer, to my surprise. "Well, if you need help with whatever it is... You know where I live, and what my number is."

  There was the faintest of smiles on his face. A short breath escaped my lips, which might've been a laugh in a different situation. He was being so understanding. Maybe too forgiving.

  I allowed myself to lean slightly closer to him. "Thanks, Luke. That means a lot." I paused for a moment. "I am sorry."

  He let out a small chuckle. "I believe you. Just make it up to Spencer soon, okay? And try to warn her next time, maybe."

  "I will, trust me. Although I haven't figured out exactly how yet..." An antiquated instinct was telling me to buy her something. Chocolates or a pack of fancy markers or something. I grimaced a bit. Old habits were not as easy to let go of as I thought.

  Luke was eyeing me again. "What's that face for?"

  "Nothing. Just trying to think of how to fix this."

  He frowned a bit. "By buying her something?"

  "No," I assured him. "I know better than that now."

  "Gotcha. Well, then..." he paused, mulling it over, then suggested, "How about... Is there any way her art could be seen by a greater audience? Get some real attention?"

  I considered that. "Oh, that's not a bad idea. Do you think she's ready for that?"

  He shrugged. "Why not? She's already made an impressive website."

  "True. The only problem would be getting the attention that we need. I don't exactly have a huge following..." I had a brief idea, but nothing solid. I sighed. "My parents might be willing to help."

  "Those seem like good odds to me."

  "Not really. But maybe."

  "You'll figure it out," Luke said with a confident nod.

  "...I hope so."

  I suddenly realized just how close we'd become on the bench, which was fairly short in length. Now, with his arm across the back of the wooden seat, I was almost leaning into him. Not too close to be intrusive, but closer than I should've been. My body stiffened at the realization. I saw him looking down at me from the corner of my vision. A little voice in the back of my head was urging me to move away, but for whatever reason, I couldn't. There was this gentle pull in my chest, like some unknown magnetism was dragging me in closer.

  Without really thinking about it, I found myself resting my head lightly on his shoulder. It was really impulsive, and entirely irrational. Every single part of me knew this was not a good idea, and yet, I stayed. Something held me there. Like a moth to a flame.

  Luke's arm shifted. His hand that'd been slung across the back of the bench moved slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements, and came to a stop around my shoulders, his fingers resting ever-so-lightly on top of my arm. My heart began to race. Something felt so right about it. It was like fitting into some empty space, the final piece that completes a puzzle. My eyes were fixed straight ahead on the horizon, though I wasn't really focusing on anything.

  The entire scene was absurd. Everything about it. The tiny bench, overlooking the ocean, with the flower beds behind us, and the puffy clouds drifting by overhead. The feel of his arm around me, steady and comforting. The familiar warmth that crept up the back of my neck. It should've been a calm, innocent moment. So why were my hands trembling?

  Luke's voice was hardly a murmur. "Is this okay? Not too...touchy-feely for you?"

  My breathing was a bit shallow. It was awfully sweet of him to ask that. And despite knowing full well that it was the wrong answer, I nodded. "Yeah." Still, the single word, strangely enough, felt like the most honest thing I'd said all day.

  "Good," he replied, and that one little answer threatened to overwhelm me. Because it was an acknowledgment. An acknowledgment that all of it was real, that he felt it too, and everything in between. We both knew it, and yet were doing nothing.

  "Do... Do you think it's okay?" I asked tentatively.

  He laughed softly. "I do."

  So, the question that danced on the tip of my tongue was, Why are we still pretending? Why are we going along with the pretense that there's nothing here? Spencer had been right; I couldn't just keep going around in circles like this. Clearly, we were in the same boat, both trapped in this little push-and-pull dance. Maybe it was time to cut right to the chase.

  ''Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. Alfred Tennyson. That wasn't too over the top, was it? Did the moment call for Victorian-era poetry? …Probably not. But that was the crux of this issue, really. An entire beach's worth of sand jammed into one bottle, figuratively speaking – do I go for it, and quite possibly abandon him within the year with little to no explanation, or otherwise ruin something that's good now? Or do I assume the worst will take place, then do nothing, and perhaps deny myself something amazing?

  There was still a pin stuck in this, as there had been since Christmas Day. It just seemed like a lose-lose situation.

  As if reading my mind, Luke spoke up, "You know, Chloe... I've been wondering something."

  "What's that?" I mumbled.

  His gaze was lowered, fixed onto some point out on the water. "Listen... If this feels like a weird conversation, then you're free to end it. But, I want to clear something up."

  My eyes widened a bit. This was one of those rare moments where he'd get all quiet and nervous. "Go on..."

  "I–" he began, then stopped and took a breath, scrunching up his face like he was trying to summon the words. "I need you to be straight with me about something. Because I don't... I don't want you to think I'm not taking this seriously. Like I haven't considered it, or... You know, that I don't care. I'm just...uncertain, you could say."

  I couldn't help but be distracted by just how near he was to me. My face felt warm. "Okay... I'm listening."

  His eyebrows drew together, and he looked away. "It's just that, I'm glad we're friends, and that we talk like we do, and all that, but... Why not, you know, just...go for it?"

  I blinked a few times, a jolt running through me at the suggestion. "I... I'm sorry?"

  He flushed slightly at the question. The sight was rather amusing. "Remember the conversation we had on Christmas...? About...us. And where we are?"

  This felt like an out-of-body experience. "I remember."

  "Right..." He stared at the view off in the distance, pointedly not looking in my direction. "I guess what I'm getting at, is that, well, obviously there's something here, and it's...not going away. At least, it hasn't for me. I was just wondering if you've been experiencing the same...?"

  Oh.

  ...The pin is out. It's just you and him. No one else in the galaxy is watching you, judging your decisions, or giving an opinion. It's just you, and Luke, and this annoyingly romantic setting. And he's not afraid to be forward. Which, in turn, leaves you with the question:

  What are you afraid of?

  Mixed emotions crashed about in my head. Gratitude was strongest. It was nice to know that we were indeed on the same page. A little apprehensive, perhaps, which was understandable. Then relief flooded in, because now that Luke was the one speaking the situation into existence, it became real, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wasn't hallucinating some fantasy. Also, I was terrified, because of the sheer weight of this decision. Where did I go from here?

  All I could manage to force out in response was a nod.

  Luke gave a soft chuckle, "So, I'm right, then?"

  Still avoiding his gaze, I nodded again. I tried to form some kind of clarifying answer, but the words were just gone. I was utterly silent. And I suddenly realized just how serious this had become. What once had been innocent, casual conversation had suddenly escalated to a seemingly final decision, and I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to take the next step. And more than a bit bewildered that Luke was ready to do so.

  We sat there in silence, probably for ten or twenty seconds at most, but it felt like a lot longer. Adrenaline was running rampant through my brain, frying every synapse I had.

  Luke was now watching me, searching for any answer that might be visible on my face. "Chloe, I... Look, I know I'm the type to make a lot of decisions logically and rationally, and that makes me stall sometimes, but... You should know something. Because it's important to me. And you deserve to know." He paused for a moment. "I... I actually really like you, okay? It's not as hard to say as everyone thinks it is."

  What?!

  My eyes snapped up to his. My lips parted, and then closed. Nothing came out. It was odd that those exact words struck me more deeply than anything else he'd ever said to me. Because I knew Luke. How he walked, how he smiled, how he talked, how he laughed, and even the ways he shifted when he became agitated or uneasy or sad, and how it was usually for the same reasons as I did. And what really caught my attention, and almost threatened to completely dismantle my self-control, was the intense look in his eye, an expression filled to the brim with a newfound purpose. Like he'd been determinedly picking away with a chisel all day, only to have something finally break free.

  I leaned towards him, only a little. "...What do you mean?"

  He laughed softly. "You really aren't making this easy for me, huh?" A teasing smile slid across his face. He was rather secure with what was happening, I realized, despite his initial hesitance. "Do I need to spell it out for you? Maybe write it in the sky?"

  My heart had officially been launched into another solar system. Still, his words brought the vaguest smirk to my face. It was so absurd. I wasn't this dense, wasn't this clueless. But clearly, my brain and mouth were not in proper sync. "Maybe that'd be better."

  "Hm. I should've thought of that."

  A chuckle left me. This was dumb.

  Luke fixed his eyes on me again. "If you're... I don't know, having trouble accepting this, or you don't feel comfortable yet... Well, like I said, if you'd rather not deal with any of it for now, I get it."

  The offer was extremely generous. But in his eyes, there was also a spark of hope, one that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to wait much longer. It felt wrong to put him in a position like this. It wasn't like I didn't feel that same spark of hope; I did. If I wasn't dealing with the whole saviour thing, I would've gone along with this in a heartbeat. But how could I give the moment the amount of joy and elation that it deserved when Emiarhia was constantly hanging over my head? Was that really fair to him? Could I really give him, and myself, the commitment that this required?

  Because let's face it, a relationship with me wasn't going to be ordinary. It couldn't be. Could I really do that to him, have him wait for me like some lovelorn soldier on the front lines, never knowing if he'd see me again, or when? Never knowing how or if things would end between us?

  To keep going, or not to go. That was the question.

  Well... I'll probably regret it forever if I withhold my feelings.

  I took a breath and nestled my head back against his shoulder. "No, you're fine. Don't worry about that. I, um... I..." I trailed off, eyes darting around.

  There wasn't a camera crew somewhere nearby. No one was listening in. Just two friends on a bench, having a discussion. And I knew Luke enough to know that he would respect whatever boundaries I set, whatever choice I made. It was scary, just plunging in like this, but I was tired of avoiding it. There was nothing to lose.

  Finally, the words spilled out. "...I have feelings for you, too. Not just as friends." Yeah, that was definitely not the smoothest confession in the world. But I'd gotten the point across. I peeked up at him.

  His eyebrows had lifted a bit at my admission. His voice became more hushed. "Really?"

  I nodded. "…Yes, really."

  A moment went by before he spoke again. "Wow. Well, um... It's an honour. I... I'm glad to know that."

  An amused snort escaped me. "Stop it. You're not supposed to sound like you've won an award."

  "Hey, I have good reason to be happy. Anyone who's got your attention is lucky, trust me."

  I tried not to roll my eyes. "Oh, please."

  "I'm serious," he emphasized. "This–" and he gave me a gentle squeeze, "...is a pretty big deal. I'm allowed to be a little shocked, and maybe a bit amazed."

  My smile was inevitable. I never would've guessed that there'd be a day where Luke, Mr. Calm & Collected himself, would be a shy, rambling mess. Over me, of all people. The adjective to describe it was 'endearing'. It was almost hilarious, honestly, what this kind of situation could do to one of the most chill people I'd ever met. But his mellowness was as infectious as ever, I realized, because I was feeling rather comfortable about the whole thing. He had a strange, subtle power like that. It would take a grade-A case of cold-blooded narcissism to not be at least a little smitten by his gentle charm.

  I cast a sideways glance up at him. "Wait, so... You said you were uncertain, before. About what?"

  He leaned back a bit. "The, uh, the distance. Y'know, we're both graduating in five months or so... And since we're both still waiting on our college acceptance letters, neither of us know where we'll end up in autumn. I could be several hours away. Or in another state entirely." He sighed. "I guess I don't know, is all. So that's been, uh, weird for me."

  It sounded like he'd been poring over this in his head for a while. Which was very sweet of him, to care enough about how it would affect the other person. Because the distance would not be fun for either of us. I knew this was more of a side note, but I became really grateful that he was feeling the same way I was, just for an entirely different reason. I finally had a valid excuse for being apprehensive. That the two of us shared, at least, a part of each other's frustration at the universe's unwillingness to cooperate was oddly comforting.

  "Yeah, that's weird for me, too," I admitted. "If only I'd moved here a few years earlier..."

  Luke breathed a laugh. "Wouldn't fix the problem. You wouldn't have liked me back then, trust me. I had this serious emo thing going on. It was bad."

  That warranted a raised eyebrow. "No way."

  "Uh-huh. Why do you think I own so many leather jackets? It was the style. Took me a couple years to grow into them, though."

  I couldn't stop the smirk from curving my lips. "I'm sure." I imagined he would've been sort of cute with the emo thing, but I certainly didn't need to tell him that. "Still, at least then we might've had a better chance at...this."

  "Maybe." He looked to the side and scratched the back of his neck. "Honestly, Chloe, that's why... It's why I was hesitating to say anything at all. Just 'cause you don't know for sure where you're going, and I didn't know how serious you were about all of this, and... And I didn't want to wreck something by...trying to change it, but..." He paused and shook his head a bit. "Listen to me, tripping all over my words. All the more reason I shouldn't be the one talking."

  Despite how charming this vulnerable side of him was, I failed to suppress a chuckle.

  Luke's tone was laced with embarrassment, the look on his face pleading with me to take pity on his case. "My point is, um... You're important to me. And I kind of don't want this all to fall apart with something as dumb as geography getting in the way."

  How he managed to say things like that with an unwavering tone was beyond me. In his voice, there was very little hint of anxiety, apprehension, or even nerves. It was just calm acceptance. And determination. As if casually admitting to being attracted to me was as simple as saying hello, his tone was of someone discussing the latest newspaper article. But me? Despite the fact that, wow, yes, I really had indeed confessed to being fond of him too, the butterflies persisted, and my brain had yet to process much.

  Pulling me out of my thoughts, Luke's voice lowered. "I also didn't want to step on your toes, or do anything you're not okay with, y'know?"

  Oh my god, you're just incredible. "No, yeah, I hear you," I assured him. "You've just...given me a lot to think about. That whole distance thing is a really good point, unfortunately... And I really don't want to be like those people who are so confident they're endgame, but it goes nowhere. That'd suck."

  He laughed again. "Yep. Plus, I don't know about you, but... I don't want to start anything if it has no chance of, you know, lasting, somehow. I'm not really into...temporary things. Get in, get out. Love 'em and leave 'em. I, um... Yeah, no." His gaze carefully skated down to mine. "Besides, I don't mind waiting for the right time."

  That look, so patient, so focused... I began to realize just how serious he was, and it was a sobering, intimidating reality check. Yet oddly reassuring. Luke was always the rational type; it made sense for him to act rationally now, to offer me that kind of assurance. Even though the thought that he was willing to pursue such a thing was still beyond my comprehension.

  "Well, you shouldn't have to wait forever. That wouldn't be fair to you," I murmured.

  "No, it wouldn't," he agreed, smiling at me like some goofy half-angel that I couldn't push away no matter how hard I tried. "But I'm not talking about forever. Just... Well, sometimes people get together and reconvene later, after school, or college, or whatever else it is they have going on. Maybe we'll be in similar places, maybe not."

  My eyes flickered up to meet his. "So, you're saying we should just kinda...let things play out? See what happens?"

  He nodded, calm, grounded, logical. "Maybe. See what happens. Be... Well, a part of each other's lives, at least. For however long that is. But that's not to say we have to put any pressure on ourselves. So..." He tilted his head. "What do you think?"

  The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  If there was a question I'd been expecting him to ask, that was not it. Then again, it was exactly the kind of thing he'd do: maintain his air of coolness and rationality, remain patient until the timing was right, and then open up enough to let me know that yeah, he did like me too, and yes, he would like to pursue something further – if I wanted to, of course, but it wasn't mandatory.

  "Um..." I sat there for a second, trying to organize my thoughts. Damn it, I feel like an amateur with my heart, no idea how to navigate the thing. "I know this sounds hypocritical coming from me, but... It'd feel weird for me to be kind of indifferent on the matter. Like, passive. I totally get the idea, though. I think it'd just feel...inconsequential. Does that make sense?"

  He hummed. "Yeah, for sure. Indifferent, inconsequential, that's not what you'd want. I get that. Uh, would it feel better to set some kind of...guidelines? Goals, a deadline? Something like that?"

  The amount of effort he was putting into this was almost impossibly nice. Was I really worth that kind of effort? Would I be able to reciprocate? Was I worrying about stupid stuff that didn't even matter? All in all, this thing of ours felt really positive. But some level of hesitation was lingering. Whether I chose to wait, or to pursue, either path was bound to carry some repercussions. To which degree? That was unanswerable. But I felt like...maybe doing nothing was no longer an option, at least not for much longer.

  "Okay," I eventually replied. "Are we being too scientific about this? It's starting to sound like some sort of business contract."

  Luke grinned at me, and my heart somersaulted. "What, you don't want to take this seriously? It's very serious business, Chloe. I don't go around proclaiming my attraction to just anybody. It has to be someone special."

  Oh my god, please shut up; I'm about to melt into a puddle right now; don't say things like that... "That's why it feels weird to talk about," I murmured, my ears growing warm. I'd never had anyone put this much thought into me, never had anyone put so much emphasis on what we were doing.

  The grin slipped away. "Sorry, too much? Am I being too honest about everything?"

  I shook my head. "No, no, it's...fine. More than fine, actually. Refreshing. It's nice." I offered him a sheepish smile. "It's just, uh... Kinda strange for me. Not bad, just...unfamiliar."

  A curious light sparked in his eye. "In a good way, I hope."

  "Definitely a good way. It's, uh, definitely good. I promise." I was about to elaborate, but I got caught up in how nice he looked when he was happy. Damn.

  He didn't seem to notice, thankfully. "Oh, great. Just... Um... Just let me know, okay? If there's ever something I do, or if you need space or...something like that, yeah? You can tell me."

  The sincerity in his voice was too much. My smile turned shy, and I nestled a little closer, like it would make things better. It did not.

  He continued, "So, if I put on my scientist hat here, it sounds to me like we have two options – well, three, I guess. Um, the first is...we just stay where we are. We're friends, like we have been, and nothing changes; I don't push anything, and neither do you. Second, we keep in mind the whole college thing – which we'll soon find out how much of a problem that would actually be – but we don't necessarily decide anything right now. Let the chips fall where they may; could work, could not." He tilted his head. "Or third... We kinda forget about college. About distance. About...possible issues we may or may not face in the future. Just...focus on here, on now. And go for it."

  There were times when he got unbearably cute. This was one of those times. I stared at him for a moment, in disbelief.

  "...Luke." I tried my best not to giggle. "How are you real?"

  He looked surprised. "Oh... Sorry."

  This time, I did giggle. "No, it's just– You're putting too much thought into this."

  His eyebrow rose a fraction. "...And you haven't?"

  Touché. My mouth opened to reply, but I didn't really know what to say.

  "Don't give me that look." He nudged me, eyes warm. "Besides, you're worth it."

  And now I'm blushing again. Goddamn it. "You can't just– Okay, seriously, though. What happened to all the 'let's put a pin in it for now' talk from last month? That sounded like the opposite of 'going for it' to me."

  He looked sheepish. "Okay, well... Don't act like I just woke up and decided to go for it today. When I invited you out here, all this definitely wasn't on the agenda. It's not like I'd planned a script or anything like that, I promise. But I also wasn't planning on just...wimping out and waiting until it became convenient. I'd rather... I dunno, tell you. Sooner, rather than later. Before it became more...complicated. Or something like that."

  A hint of amusement pulled at the corners of my mouth. "...And now?"

  He shrugged, feigning indifference. "You're right, we don't know where we're going. And there's nothing that says we can't put it off, but I thought that maybe you'd appreciate my honesty, and I... I like you. Romantically. That much, at least, is true. So I'd be cool with...diving in, so to speak."

  My heart pounded away, a drum in my rib cage, as he glanced at me with an expression so genuine it almost hurt. Wow. A thousand different thoughts and feelings spun inside my mind, some conflicting, some complimentary. "Really? Like...a relationship, kind of thing?"

  A soft huff escaped him. "Well, not right away. I definitely owe you some dates first. And you should get used to me being annoying and overbearing for a little while before you commit."

  Despite the butterflies, a laugh tumbled from my mouth. "Gotcha. I appreciate your honesty." I then frowned, eyebrows drawing together. "...I think I'll need some time to wrap my head around all this."

  "'Course. I won't pressure you," he assured.

  "Thanks." My voice had grown a little smaller. "What about you? Should I worry about you having an aneurysm at any point in the next hour or so?"

  "Not at all," he replied with a quiet laugh. "I think we'll be all right."

  "Yeah, probably. It just feels a bit surreal."

  "That makes two of us."

  I grinned and met his eyes. "Are we being silly? Talking like this, I mean. This feels kinda silly."

  "Kind of, yeah. But we've earned the right to be a bit silly. Haven't we?"

  "Fair enough." I bit my lip, then paused, the next words taking more effort than I expected. "So... You're okay if I take some time to...process everything?"

  Luke's mouth curved in an easy smile, a familiar sight that gave me all sorts of strange emotions. "Definitely. Whenever you're ready."

  The way those three words were spoken made my heart go fuzzy. Of course, I'd been aware of the fact that Luke was seldom capable of hurting or offending anyone; he was so careful to always be positive, polite and patient that it just couldn't happen to most people. But hearing him say that, and in that tone... That took the sentiment in a whole new direction. There was something in the way he spoke, the manner in which his cadence, word choice, tone, voice, pitch – all seemed tailored specifically for me, like it took absolutely no effort to make me feel appreciated.

  ...This has to be bad for my health. Getting flustered so many times in the span of a few minutes can't be good. He's officially upgraded to lethal levels of endearing.

  "I, um..." My words trailed into the air, wispy and unsure. "I'm gonna admit that I have zero idea what the standard protocol is for something like this. Should I... I don't know, give you some kind of signal if I decide something? Do I need to call you as soon as I reach a verdict? Am I even supposed to really think about it?"

  Chuckling, Luke shook his head. "Call me if you need to. Or text me. Whatever you want. But don't stress yourself out over it, seriously. You have all the time and space you need here. No rush. You're not the only one who needs to wrap their head around all this, you know."

  Of course he'd say something like that. "Right. Okay."

  I ended up staring out over the water again, watching the way the sun reflected off of it. It looked almost frozen. Though I said nothing, my mind was pretty thoroughly tangled up. At the same time, I felt a little lighter. My confession had been answered, and instead of the worst possible scenario (our friendship ruined), things were actually looking pretty bright. I wasn't dreaming. Some part of my brain still refused to believe it. He had legitimately told me he liked me. Wanted to be with me. Whatever. The surprise and bafflement of the moment were rapidly wearing off, and in its place settled a warm, fluttery sensation. Kind of like nervous anticipation, but the good kind. It was nice. Like I was floating, high on a foreign drug. An emotional drug. One involving lots of heart-shaped confetti.

  The two of us sat mostly in silence for the remainder of our outing. There was an overflow of thoughts buzzing around in my head – about school, about the future, about opportunities. I could hear Luke's words like he'd left a recorded message, spinning over and over. 'Whenever you're ready.'

  After much contemplation, I came to the conclusion that that moment of readiness just might've been right then and there. Or the next day. Or next week. I'd only figure it out when the time came. Until then, I'd just savour the moment, and try not to lament over the idea of Emiarhia wrecking it all.

  I was home before dinner. I decided to keep things under wraps until I had time to gather my thoughts. Telling my parents could wait. Actually, telling anyone could wait. Some quiet introspection time was crucial. Besides, this thing of ours wasn't a set thing just yet. The future was undefined, and while it wasn't the worst thing, it wasn't exactly the best, either.

  Although there was no training that day, and I was going to see everyone tomorrow on the first day of the Academy's second semester, I felt compelled to head over to Emiarhia that evening, just for an hour or two. Something was causing me to feel all out of sorts. And at the time, only one person could make me feel better.

  After changing into some suitable clothes, I headed downstairs, necklace clutched in hand. "Hey, guys?" I asked. "Is it all right if I go visit Shaye for a bit?"

  "You're not staying for dinner?" My dad glanced up from his computer as I came down, eyes darting between my attire and the clock on the wall.

  I shrugged. "Well, it's about...one o'clock there right now, but knowing Shaye's mom, I'll probably get invited for supper if I stay long enough. She always offers me leftovers. So if I'm not back by six-thirty, don't wait up for me. Okay?"

  He laughed. "Sure. Well, say 'hi' for us."

  After receiving the standard warning to not put myself in danger, or to make reckless decisions, or to forget the buddy system, or to end up on the news, etc. etc., I teleported off to Emiarhia. The instant the warmth of my own home was gone, the biting chill of winter enveloped my senses. Nelorismel materialized before me. As per usual, I landed in the same spot I'd left in – which was usually just outside the arena. I looked up at the structure before me, then began strolling toward Shaye's neighbourhood. I wondered if she was home. I just had to tell someone about what was going on. The cold snow crunched underneath my boots. In an effort to hide my face, I pulled the neck of my turtleneck sweater over my mouth and nose, then covered my hair with the hood of my coat.

  As I approached the neighbourhood, the homes began to come into view. They stood proud and tall against the blinding white snow. Some of them had their New Year's decorations still up. The air was quiet, crisp, and peaceful. I made my way up to the house, leaving behind a pair of barely distinguishable footprints. Then I knocked. But I only waited a second before the door flew open and a hand reached out, grabbed me, and hauled me inside.

  "Brielle?! What are you doing here?" Shaye tugged me over the threshold and into the welcoming heat of the building. "After what happened to Ashkan, you're just showing up, no warning, no note, nothing? You could have been murdered out there!"

  I laughed, slipping off my boots and coat. "Don't be dramatic. It's still daylight out. Besides, I just wanted to see you. Is that so wrong?"

  She made a face. "What do you mean? What happened?"

  "Nothing." I tried not to giggle as her eyes searched me for any possible injuries. "Everything's okay. Sorry for surprising you. I just...would love some second opinions right now."

  After I'd gotten past her protective instincts, she started to relax, shoulders easing out of their tension. "Oh. That sounds promising. What's troubling you?"

  "Uh..." I glanced over her shoulder at the open living room doorway, where Kelton and Fenryk sat listening to the radio. "Would it be okay if I stay for a bit? It's not really something I can tell you in five minutes... Or something I'd like to discuss out in the open."

  She followed my gaze, then nodded and gave a half shrug. "Of course. Well, if I'd known you were coming, I could have arranged to not have those two here."

  I chuckled. "Nah, it's cool. As long as they're not compulsively interested in my life on Earth, I don't mind your brothers overhearing a word or two."

  Shaye laughed and headed for the stairs. I followed behind. As soon as the two of us were in her bedroom and the door was closed, I found myself relaxing in the comfort of privacy. The tension began draining away simply from the change of environment.

  She raised an eyebrow, waiting, her hands in the pockets of her skirt.

  "You don't mind, do you? That I showed up, I mean. I feel a little bad..." I began sheepishly.

  "What, do you jest? Don't be silly. I always appreciate seeing you. You know that."

  "All right, just checking." A soft sigh slipped out, and I flopped onto her bed. She took a seat at her desk. "I...don't really know what to do right now."

  Shaye tilted her head curiously. "You can always talk to me, Brielle. What's wrong?"

  I stared up at the ceiling, chewing on my lip, trying to decide how to word my dilemma. "So, y'know how I'm supposed to always keep my two lives separate? That I can't talk about Earth here, and I can't talk about here on Earth? It's kind of...spilling over a little bit. Sort of."

  "I see." Her eyes turned concerned. "That can be very bad... Is this something I need to worry about, or is this some sort of hypothetical issue?"

  "Well, it's nothing terrible. I haven't told anyone about Emiarhia. And I've intentionally kept everything about my Earth life pretty obscure to everyone here. It's... It's the juggling thing that's getting frustrating. It would be so much easier to keep them separate if I could just focus on one at a time. But trying to juggle keeps making it complicated."

  She hummed understandingly. "Hmm. Difficult indeed."

  "...Sorry, I don't mean to whine. There are lots of other people worse off than me," I apologized. "I just... I don't know. I'm not sure what to do."

  "About what?"

  I lifted my necklace in the air above my face, and stared at the pattern spiraling out on its surface, tracing it around and around with my eyes. "My Earthian best friend is really mad at me because I said I'd help her out with this thing yesterday, and then the whole visit to the Elders happened, and I didn't get home until after it was over. So I had to lie. Which is super stressful for me, because I'm a terrible liar."

  "And now she's suspicious of you?"

  I nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. It's driving me up the wall. I think she might've bought the lie I gave her, but I don't think I could pull it off again if this keeps happening. And I don't want to lose her trust, y'know?"

  "I do."

  Lowering the necklace, I rolled over and pressed my face into a pillow. "And on top of that, my other friend invited me out for a drive earlier today."

  Her tone held a bit of confusion. "A...drive?"

  I rolled my eyes, grinning into the pillow before turning my head to explain. "Oh. A drive. In a car. You've learned about those, right?"

  "Oh, yes," she replied, suddenly enlightened. "Automobiles. Right. Please continue."

  "Well, anyway, he was trying to cheer me up a bit. I think. He'd gone to that event I missed, too. So I gave him the same lie I gave my best friend. And...he knew it was a lie. He had proof."

  Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh dear."

  "Yeah. So now he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows there's something going on with me. And he told me I didn't need to lie, because I can always trust him. And, I mean, I already do. But I can't tell him the truth. I'd be breaking the rules if I did."

  "That's certainly a difficult position. How did you answer him?"

  "I kind of avoided it. He asked me what was so important that I needed to lie to him. I just told him I couldn't say. And he's just like, 'Well, if you need help with whatever it is, you know my number.'" My impression of Luke's voice made me laugh.

  "He sounds lovely," Shaye giggled.

  I smiled. "He is. He's a really nice guy..."

  Her expression grew a little more serious, but the warmth stayed. "But?"

  My voice was muffled as I spoke into the pillow. "...But I have feelings for him..."

  "Romantic feelings?" she inquired with interest, and a touch of surprise.

  "...Yeah," I admitted. "And he told me he feels the same..."

  She sat up a bit straighter, eyes going as wide as saucers. "Oh my. Is that not good? This sounds wonderful!"

  I lifted my head slightly. "It is, except for the fact that I might not still be around in a year or two. We just kind of left things on an uncertain note."

  The air hung heavy. "Oh. Right..." she whispered, sinking a little.

  "...Yeah. It sucks. Too many secrets." I let out a soft groan, then rolled back over and looked at her again.

  She sighed and crossed her legs. "I suppose Ashkan and I are rather fortunate in that regard, not having to worry about such things." The conversation slowed as she studied me closely for a long minute, fingers twirling around the strands of her hair. "You are quite determined, however."

  "Determined?"

  "Yes. You keep trying to make these things work, even though they are rather complicated and impossible-seeming. I think that is quite noble of you," she clarified. "And I can imagine the desire to be with someone you care for is strong. I'm not particularly familiar with that...type of struggle, but I understand it. If it helps you, I am certain that any man would be lucky to have your affection. You are a delightful individual."

  I stared at her in a kind of awe, my face growing a bit warm. "I– That's sweet, thank you... But I'm pretty sure there are plenty of other girls in the world more suitable to be his girlfriend, Shaye. He just happens to have decided to be attracted to the one girl with the most ridiculous obstacles ever."

  "It matters not. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else," she said.

  "Well, everyone does. Including him. But...I can't do anything about this yet. I'll just be making his life difficult if we tried to be something before I even know whether I'm going to stay alive long enough. Right?" I gave a sad kind of smile and stared down at my lap, running my hands along the surface of my trousers. "It's all kind of unfair. For him. I mean, what if – hypothetically, of course – I decide to date this guy, we fall in love, and then in a month or a year or a decade I drop dead, and he's stuck wondering what the hell happened to me for the rest of his life? I don't think I could do that to someone. And I don't want him to stick around for forever, waiting, until this all blows over."

  She pursed her lips. "...Yes. You have a point... That would not be ideal."

  I let out a small scoff of amusement, though it wasn't funny. "Well... It's kind of stupid. It's just a little crush, right? Maybe things won't work out anyway."

  "I am afraid I would not know." Shaye looked sympathetic again. Then, her lips curved into a small smile and her eyes shone with a light curiosity. "But, what if they do?"

  "...What?" I asked.

  "What if they do work out? What if you and him did manage to be together, and everything goes well for you?"

  I opened my mouth, then shut it again. "Um, well. That's... It's a nice thought, I suppose, but–"

  "Just humour me, if you don't mind." She smiled softly and gave a little tilt of her head. "Imagine. You make it past this whole ordeal. The world is saved, we all live through the war, and things get back to normal. Do you think this man would still want to be with you?"

  I made a skeptical expression. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how long the war goes on for, and where he ends up after we graduate. There's a good chance he'd end up with someone else, or be busy doing things with his life."

  "So... If that was the case, would you regret not at least trying?"

  I chewed my lip and tried not to let the emotions she was provoking get to me too badly. "I... Maybe? Probably."

  Shaye stared at me intently as I responded to her question, then asked, "Why?"

  The way she asked was not like she wanted a list of the pros and cons. She wanted an answer to something, but I didn't know what that something was. "...Why? Because... I'd love to give it a chance, but I can't."

  "Yes, you can."

  "I– No, I can't. It's too dangerous, it'd be stupid, he wouldn't understand, and..."

  "Would it make you happy?"

  I fell silent for a long moment. The answer seemed obvious, but there was a lot more to it than that.

  "...Brielle," she pressed when I didn't say anything. "I ask only for the purpose of understanding your position. Would being in a relationship with him make you happy? Even if only temporarily?"

  "...Yes," I said in a low voice. "Yeah, of course. I'd bet on it."

  "And would it make him happy, as well?"

  I made an uncertain noise. "Uhhh... I guess? He sure seemed like he thought so."

  "Then you are in no more danger by being together than if you weren't. If it does not last long, and things do not work out as either of you would hope, then you will at least have been happy while it did."

  Her words floated in the air as my brain scrambled to form a counter. A defense, a riposte, a parry...but none came to me. All that appeared in the front of my mind was a flood of memories of moments I'd spent with him over the course of our friendship, and then of all the times I'd wished they were more, but tried to ignore the feelings and suppress the desires. But most of all, there was this tiny flame of warmth and happiness. And I couldn't ignore it any longer.

  "...Wow..." I managed to whisper, and the warmth spread through the rest of me, filling me with this fuzzy glow. "That...actually makes a lot of sense."

  Shaye gave me a small smile in response.

  I just sat there, feeling rather dazed by the simplicity of the solution she had so elegantly laid out for me. And how could I argue against it? "You know... For someone who's never been in love before, you sure know a lot about it."

  Her expression brightened, and a short laugh came out. "Do I? I'm glad if it's helpful."

  "You really are," I confirmed, giving her a grateful look. "Thank you."

  "No thanks needed, I assure you."

  I sat up on her bed. "But you don't think it'd be selfish of me? To take what happiness I could, knowing that there might be no future?"

  Her face was a touch solemn as she replied, "It would be no more selfish than those who enter committed relationships knowing full well they have no intention of remaining in it. Those who use others for their own gain or enjoyment. I suppose it all depends on the objective. Yours would not be to do him any harm. Your intention is to share love, is it not?"

  The glow within me intensified slightly with that last sentence. "Sounds real poetic and thespian when you put it like that."

  She giggled, covering her mouth. "Ah. Well. I don't believe there is a way to speak of such matters that is not poetic and thespian. Perhaps that is not what you intended. But... That is simply how it sounds to me, the way you describe it."

  I couldn't stop smiling at that point. It didn't seem so complicated anymore, as though Shaye had removed all the layers of confusing logic and shown me the simple core of the thing. She had a unique way of explaining things sometimes. But she made it easier for me to see.

  "Besides," she added, "I believe selfishness is sometimes more than warranted. When you spend all of your time sacrificing yourself and your wants and needs for others, it's all right to be selfish, every once in a while. Right now, this entire universe needs you to be selfless. The three of us have the weight of the world on our shoulders, as it were. Countries and governments and people that could crumble all in the blink of an eye. We have a duty. It's a necessary one, no doubt. Still, I say it is high time we give ourselves the chance to be a little bit selfish and live our lives in some capacity as though nothing is amiss." She leaned back in her chair, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling, and twirled a ringlet around her index finger. "So... You must take what joy you can from life. Forgive my crassness, but it would be quite stupid to allow an opportunity to pass by just because it might not last forever. Every moment of every day is one where you might not be alive the next moment. It's all temporary, really... But love? That's what makes life worth living, despite the fleetingness."

  The smile was gone as I processed her words. I let my mind absorb it, let my heart absorb it. Let it percolate. Let it settle. I'd known most of what she'd said already. But there was just something about the way she'd phrased it that clicked and resonated in a way I'd never realized before. She was right, of course. As always. It was stupid to just let life happen around you, to ignore your desires. To just wait. There was always a chance, however slight, that things might turn out fine in the end. And there was never any full certainty of any outcome. So there was nothing wrong with enjoying life's small joys, however fleeting.

  And I'd had this one right in front of me all along, but I'd ignored it for some reason, telling myself there would be a time for that later, after everything was over and calm again. But was there ever going to be a good time? I mean, sure, maybe a life-and-death war going on was not ideal for falling in love and dating. But would everyone who was going to be affected by it do the same thing? No, they'd be going about living their lives, spending time with the people they care about, finding ways to cope and adapt. They were trying to be happy, even though they all knew it could be over any second. And so, really, why shouldn't I do that, as well? I might've been one of three who was destined to stop all the destruction, but I still had just as much right as anyone else to take whatever little pieces of joy I could from it. I still deserved a life. And, if there was a chance for me to live, then so be it. I wasn't going to regret not at least giving it a chance, because it just sounded too amazing not to. Because right here, right now, Luke and I were both on the same page. And I didn't know if I'd get that lucky again.

  ...I just hoped that, if the worst came to pass, my parents would have a solid explanation to give him.

  I exhaled deeply and stared out her window for a while as I continued to process. The light was slowly fading outside.

  "You look quite deep in thought," Shaye remarked, her eyes studying me curiously.

  "I think you might've just changed my life," I responded quietly. "...Again."

  She chuckled softly. "Have I really? I hope only in good ways."

  "Yeah, yeah, definitely good. Don't worry." I leaned my head back on the pillow. "Well, is there anything I can do to repay the favour?"

  "My stars, it was not a transaction." She giggled again.

  "Okay, okay, but– I just mean... Is there anything I can help you with? In return for helping me?" I tried. "I've been talking too much. I want to hear what's going on in that busy mind of yours, if you've got something."

  "Hmmm, well..." She seemed to ponder this, then brightened and grinned, cheeks dimpling. "Ah, you won't like it."

  "Pshh. Try me."

  She stood up and walked over to her armoire. She slid open one of the doors, revealing a line of various outfits on hangers. "You see, mannequins are excellent for practicing garment construction and stitching, but not so much for testing movement or overall flexibility. I suppose I could have myself be my own test subject, but... Well, that can get a little tedious. Especially since I can only see one half of the garment at a time. So, would you mind terribly helping me?"

  I pushed myself to sit up straight. "I do owe you. But can I see the outfit in question before I say anything else?"

  "Of course, if you wish." She rummaged around inside her closet, then produced a garment bag that was clearly filled with an outfit. She laid it carefully on the bed beside me, unzipped it, and opened it up.

  My eyes grew wide. "Wow. That looks great. I can already tell."

  Within ten minutes, I was dressed up in her work-in-progress. It fit me pretty well, although my proportions were overall fairly average. I'd never had any dramatic curves or noteworthy physical features. After so many months of training, I was a fair bit leaner than I was on Earth, and my legs were stronger than ever from all the running and fighting we did. Still, I wasn't nearly as muscular as Morgina, as tall as Kadia, or as petite as Shaye. Not to mention I had nearly zero sense of Emiarhian fashion, as my wardrobe at school proved. And yet, in her garments, I didn't feel lacking in any way. They just had a tendency of being a little tight at first. But she was always quick to remediate that through magic.

  I studied my reflection in the mirror while she made her way around me with her measuring tape and pins. The outfit consisted of two pieces. The first was a dark grey-brown top with off-the-shoulder long sleeves, a foldover neckline, and draped ruching. It had a unique way of clinging to the waist and creating a streamlined shape. The second was...not as comfortable: a satiny midi skirt in a gorgeous apricot hue with a compressive waistband. And it had a slit on the side. The hem had yet to be finished.

  "Interesting," I remarked as I twisted and turned to get a view of it, nearly catching a pin in the process. "This one's not for everyday wear, huh?"

  Shaye stood back with her hand on her chin, and examined the way I was standing, before leaning forward with the measuring tape. "Well, not in Winithas. But this sort of outfit would be perfect in Oshlaslek, the capital of Hezura. The temperatures there get quite high. A more flowing, loose, breathable kind of clothing is better suited to those environments. I was speaking with my father about what it was like to live in his hometown, and all the culture inspired me to start a collection."

  "Oh, that's really cool! That's great that you're so invested in learning more about your heritage. Have you ever been to Hezura?" I asked.

  She fiddled with a fold of the top. "Yes, twice. Though the last time was many years ago now. I don't remember much, just that it was very warm. I remember the salt flats as well. And many different colours and textures and scents and flavours. ...Perhaps I'm remembering more than I thought."

  I watched as she smiled to herself, a look of quiet wistfulness in her eyes. "It sounds really nice."

  She snapped back to attention, as though realizing where she was and who she was with, and shook her head a little, clearing away whatever she'd been thinking about. "Ah, well. Anyway... A Hezuran designer invented a special type of fabric almost a century ago that has been popular there ever since. It is opaque but lightweight, very smooth and soft. It dries quickly, wicks sweat and moisture away, and remains durable through the elements. The process of making it is rather complicated, though. And buying even one bolt of the material is expensive. Thus, when people living in that climate can't afford to buy or make clothing in such a fabric, they just wear...less fabric," she explained, chuckling as she knelt to pin the skirt hem.

  I joined in her laughter. "Yeah, I could guess that based on how this one looks."

  "Oh, is it uncomfortable to wear? It is just a prototype..." She glanced up at me with concern.

  I shook my head quickly. "No, no, I wasn't implying that. I like it! It's just that... I'd be self-conscious if I was wearing this out and about. But that's all me. I don't think you should change it."

  She beamed and continued working. "That's good to know. It's nice to get feedback on what sorts of feelings certain garments elicit. It can be hard to tell with only the mannequin or myself to go by, and the former can't always tell me exactly what I'm doing wrong."

  "Oh, trust me, there's not a lot you do wrong. Everything you make always turns out great."

  She ducked her head bashfully. "Well, thank you. I might just have to gift you these pieces once they're finished. Especially considering how fetching they look on you."

  "Really? No, you don't have to, Shaye. You worked so hard on them–"

  "And you are giving me your time and feedback and wearing them around right now, which is the best way for me to work on them, and that's all the payment I could ever ask for," she interjected. "I do enjoy giving my pieces to others, you know. I love seeing what others might do with them, or what they wear with them, and how it adds another layer of expression and individuality."

  I sighed in defeat. "All right, then, thank you. And, you know, if you ever decide to open a store one day, I'll be there, first in line."

  "And you'd be first on the VIP list," she said, laughing lightly.

  For the next few hours, we spent our time chatting about all the new designs she was creating, what other sorts of fabric and textures she would love to get her hands on to try her hand at working with, and other bits and bobs she was up to in her free time. As we talked, she made her adjustments on the pieces I was wearing and occasionally paused to jot something down in a little notepad. I think I ended up being more of a distraction than an assistant, though. One of us would bring up something particularly funny or interesting, and then the other would go off on a tangent, and we'd end up getting a little derailed.

  But I couldn't help it. I was so glad to see Shaye like this. There'd been a sort of nervous energy around her the past couple of weeks. It'd started before Ashkan's kidnapping, and was made a lot worse by it. She was just so hard on herself. When things went wrong, she would put the blame squarely on herself and start to shut down. So I was more than happy to give her an outlet, an excuse, to not think about those things and just be creative. It made her shine, being able to talk so much about her designs. The sparkle in her eye was back, even if just for a while.

  We were discussing her plans for some kind of special fabric that changed colour based on mood or temperature or both (the concept of it was hard for me to fully grasp) when we were interrupted by a loud banging coming from downstairs.

  We froze.

  "Expecting anyone?" I asked, brow creasing.

  "No." Her eyes went wide. "What time is it?"

  I checked the clock on the wall. "Oh, wow. I guess we were chatting for longer than I thought."

  It was approaching dinner time. Shaye's parents would be arriving home soon. But they certainly wouldn't knock; they lived here.

  We heard the front door opening downstairs, followed by a muffled conversation. I couldn't quite make it out. But it didn't sound good. Then, Kelton's voice rang out up the stairs:

  "Shaye! You've got company!"

  Her lips pursed into a puzzled frown. She turned and opened her bedroom door. "Coming!" she called, then glanced back at me and motioned for me to follow.

  We descended the stairs. As we turned into the entrance hall, my gaze settled on Kelton and Fenryk, who were standing on either side of a hunched-over figure. It took me a moment to realize it was Ashkan.

  He was bent over, hands on his knees, breathing shallow and unsteady. Blood rushed into my head as I remembered what I was wearing. As Shaye approached him, I tried to half-hide myself behind the nearest doorway.

  "Ashkan, are you all right?" She looked him over anxiously.

  His breathing was laboured, but he looked up and met her eyes with a slight smirk. "Hah... Yeah..."

  "What happened to him?" she demanded, gazing pointedly at her brothers.

  Fenryk shrugged. "Figured you'd know."

  Kelton chuckled. "Your mate here was banging on our door so loud I thought it was about to fall off its hinges. Was running from something."

  "Lodestar," Ashkan said, straightening. "Ran into an undercover journalist. Been swarming me since... You know."

  Shaye paled slightly. "You got away?"

  He nodded. "Sorry for intruding. I was passing by... Couldn't make it all the way home."

  She waved his words away and stepped closer. "Come in, come in. Don't apologize. Just tell me what you were doing out there, alone. You could've gotten hurt."

  "I didn't," he replied. "I had it under control."

  "That doesn't answer my question," she countered, placing her hand on his arm and steering him towards the stairs.

  I took a moment to check the coast was clear, then darted out and followed them from a distance. Fenryk glanced back as he turned to head for the living room, giving me a quizzical look. I averted my eyes and quickened my pace.

  "My stars, first Brielle and now you. How am I supposed to keep everyone safe if you all go gallivanting around without a thought in your head?" Shaye chided Ashkan as they moved into her room. I slipped in after them and quickly closed the door behind me.

  "Brie's here?" he asked, turning to look at her with mild surprise.

  She gestured in my direction.

  I was midway through reaching to grab my clothes from the end of Shaye's bed when I heard my name. I looked over like a deer caught in headlights. "Hi."

  Ashkan did a double take as his eyes flicked towards me. They lingered there for a moment before he coughed and averted them, ears tinting. "Hi. Have you, uh, been here long?"

  I shrugged. "Just a few hours. You, on the other hand, seem like you've had an interesting day."

  "You could say that. Sorry to intrude on your... Uh..." He paused and glanced between us, gaze briefly fixing on my outfit again, before turning away again, ears growing redder by the second. "I mean... Not my business."

  "She was helping me test some designs I've been working on," Shaye explained.

  I tugged at the neckline of my top to pull it farther up.

  "Ah." He nodded, refusing to maintain eye contact with me.

  Shaye leaned back against her desk. "So... Care to fill us in?"

  He ran a hand through his hair, which was ruffled and tousled like he'd been out in a strong wind for a long while. "I was getting another tattoo. Then I ran into that reporter as I was leaving."

  Her brows shot up. "Another one? How many are you getting?"

  "This one was kind of important," he told her, sounding a touch defensive.

  She narrowed her eyes. "More important than keeping you from getting dragged away and executed?"

  Ashkan's expression darkened a bit. He answered by removing his collared jacket and rolling up his left shirt sleeve. It was the first time I'd seen his bare forearm since he left the hospital. He'd always kept it covered. But now, in the place of ugly scars, there was a large, winding tree with detailed shading, gnarled roots, and bare, twisting branches.

  I couldn't help but gasp a little when I saw it. It looked incredible. Shaye made an impressed little 'ooh' noise.

  "Does it...?" I began, stepping closer to examine the artwork.

  "Cover them? Yeah," he replied.

  I was too stunned to think of what to say. This was important. It hadn't been that long since he'd left the hospital, and now, here he was, getting his scars inked over with something that would last forever, a permanent symbol of his ability to heal and recover from something traumatic. And a beautiful design, too. It seemed so him. I just stood there for a few long moments, looking back and forth between him and his tattoo. Thankfully, the scars hadn't become raised, which meant that they were now invisible under the ink.

  Then Shaye walked over and hugged him. He blinked in surprise, then gently wrapped his arms around her in return, giving her a little pat on the shoulder.

  She drew back and examined his new tattoo, expression soft and admiring. "I'm proud of you. That must have been difficult. How do you feel?"

  His posture relaxed. "...Better."

  I smiled at that. "It suits you. The tree."

  Ashkan glanced up at me and his expression eased into a slight smile of its own. "Yeah, that's kind of why I chose it." He held out his arm towards me, offering to let me take a closer look.

  I accepted the invitation, carefully taking his arm by the elbow to steady it. The artist had been very good with their lines. The shading was quite natural-looking. It was almost like I could reach out and pluck the bark off. There was no lingering sign of trauma or pain left. The whole image was a work of art. I tilted his arm towards the light. Admittedly, I was trying to spot any obvious scar tissue that might remain, but I couldn't find any. It was as if the injury had never even happened. The only raised ridges in his skin were veins. Which...I was most certainly not looking at too closely.

  "Wow." I straightened, meeting Ashkan's eyes.

  His gaze held mine as he said, "Thanks."

  "Who did it for you? Crescent Moons?" Shaye asked him, perching on the edge of her bed.

  "Yep."

  "Esme again?"

  "Yeah. She drew a bunch of different designs for me."

  My mood soured a bit at the mention of that name. It was ridiculous. I was being ridiculous. There was nothing for me to feel jealous over. But it still poked at me, a slight sting in the back of my mind. Esme was the biggest flirt I'd ever met, and for some reason, I couldn't stand the thought of her coming anywhere near Ashkan. She acted like her job was to give compliments to young men instead of inks. She probably had a whole bunch of other clients that she treated the same way. And yet... I was a little irked that Ashkan would go to her about something so vulnerable and touchy – no pun intended. I was sure he hadn't thought anything of it. He wasn't the type to be charmed easily by flirtations. Regardless, I knew I shouldn't hold it against him. And I didn't. I just couldn't help but feel a twinge of distaste towards her.

  Shaye nodded approvingly. "She does excellent work."

  "Yeah," I agreed, though the word felt a little hollow as I said it.

  The room was silent for a few moments after that. The air had gotten a bit stifling and I wanted nothing more than to escape the confines of my skin. Actually, I wanted nothing more than to change out of this outfit, but I realized I wasn't sure if Shaye was done working on it yet. Our conversations earlier really derailed that whole process.

  "What were you two up to, before I showed up?" Ashkan questioned, glancing between us.

  "Brielle was helping me by being my model. I've been working on these two garments lately. What do you think?" She beckoned for me to come closer and pulled the unfinished edge of the skirt slightly to the side. "See, the fabric–"

  The movement revealed a bit more of my bare leg. In a knee-jerk reaction, my hand snapped down to grab the hem and yank it back into place. "Shaye...!"

  She glanced up at me with a look of surprise.

  I blushed. "Uh... I'm a little bare here..."

  "Oh. My apologies," she said, giving Ashkan an embarrassed sort of smile. "My fault; I'm not used to having people in the room besides us girls. I should let you change. I can finish the hem later."

  Ashkan's expression was somewhere between indifference and a flustered sort of confusion. "Sorry, should I leave?"

  "No, no, that's not necessary," she replied.

  I seized my opportunity, moving to collect my clothes. "It's all good. I'll be right back."

  Shaye added, "Oh, be careful with the pins! Try not to pull any out!"

  "Yep!" I said as I scurried out the door and down the hall.

  I shut the bathroom door behind me. Ashkan was really starting to get on my nerves lately. But not in the typical sense. Ever since the three of us went to get our matching tattoos, things had changed a bit between him and I. Or at least it felt that way to me. The dynamic felt a little different. And every time I thought I had everything figured out, that I was sure I only had eyes for Luke, I would look over and catch his eye in a certain way or see him smile a certain way, and it would get hard to concentrate on anything else. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. Ash didn't like me like that. Just because he'd started to joke around and tease and open up and watch out for me, didn't mean there was more to it. We just got along well. Plus, you know, getting kind of trapped together in a dangerous prophecy involving fighting and survival and shared trauma will do that, won't it?

  But none of that really explained the strange tension I'd started to feel in our friendship. Our bonds of loyalty ran a little deeper now. Every look we exchanged was a little weightier than the last. If I caught his eye, he held it just a little longer. If our fingers brushed as I passed him something, he almost let them linger. I didn't know what to make of it. Was I reading too much into his behaviour? If so, why? Seeing him asleep in that hospital bed after his abduction was the straw that broke the camel's back, I suppose. I never considered him anything other than a friend who was more fun to interact with now that we'd loosened up around each other. Until he disappeared and put everything in perspective.

  He was so different than Luke... That's what I couldn't get past. That was why it was confusing to me. They weren't necessarily polar opposites, but there was definitely more than one stark difference between them. Luke was honest, confident, even-tempered, intelligent. Good at talking to people. Pretty close to as perfect as a human can get, all things considered. Although I did sometimes wish he was a little less protective, a little less of a people-pleaser. He'd always helped me work through issues if I asked (or didn't ask), and he listened closely, but sometimes it would make me feel sort of...bad. Like there was something to be solved; fixed. Almost like it was his job to put out any fires of anxiety or unhappiness. But I knew his intentions were good.

  Ash, meanwhile, was a real mixed bag. I found him impossible to read half the time, which gave him a mysterious air, but was also infuriating at times. Because it was hard to tell what he was feeling. I could rarely pin him down. He wasn't as good with emotions as Luke was. But he was sweet like him; it was just harder to see. He was reserved and aloof and could be frustratingly awkward, where Luke was empathetic and considerate and mellow. Ash was great for calm periods of quiet. Luke was great for talking. Ash kept his heart close to his chest. Luke would let me hold his. But then there was this other side of Ashkan that was starting to become clear the more time we spent together, as the months went by. A lighthearted, joyful side. A witty, irreverent side. He could be...fun. This serious, strong-headed guy could find the absurdity and hilarity in any situation. The way his eyes lit up when he was smiling to himself, making a dumb joke. It melted my heart like butter in a frying pan. They both had that sort of charm, actually. And the fact that neither of them had anything horrible about them just made things even more difficult. The entire situation was confusing as hell.

  I almost slapped myself to snap out of my thought spiral. I'd been standing in the same position in front of the mirror in Shaye's bathroom for five minutes now. This was getting embarrassing. I quickly changed back into my sweater and trousers. Once I'd carefully folded Shaye's creations, I went to rejoin the others, doing my best not to question or overthink myself, for once.

  "...quite unsure of herself, I believe," Shaye was saying when I opened the door.

  Ashkan was leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed, appearing deep in thought. After a moment, he said, "Huh. I guess that's normal."

  I knocked on the doorframe. They both looked up. "What's normal?"

  Shaye shrugged. "I was just telling him about what you've been troubled with lately. Your, um, male friend."

  My eyes widened. I should have figured she would. But she said it in such a calm way. She was so nonchalant. She acted like it was such a normal topic of conversation to just mention my love life. I'm not saying the whole societal separation between 'things girls can talk about with boys around' and 'things girls can't talk about with boys around' is reasonable, but I certainly didn't have experience talking about my crush with any male friends of mine. And Ash was not the type to really be invested in those sorts of conversations anyway. Either way, I did not need him hearing about Luke. Or any part of the Luke-related drama. It was so awkward.

  "Shaye!" I protested, cheeks colouring. "He doesn't need to hear about that!"

  She blinked. "Why not? I haven't told him anything specific, don't worry. Nothing besides your situation in general."

  "That's not..." I faltered. Why not, indeed. Why was 'girl talk' a thing, anyway? Boys could be just as invested and interested in gossip as anyone else. There was nothing wrong with sharing personal problems with others, was there? And Ash had listened to my venting before.

  ...No, it's a problem when you have feelings for the guy. That was the issue.

  Shaye gestured vaguely at Ashkan as if his presence didn't mean anything. "It isn't as though he understands much of this sort of thing."

  He raised a brow. "Tell me anyway."

  I groaned. "Seriously? Don't start..."

  Shaye went on, "So, Brielle has found herself with an emotional dilemma. There's this fellow, an Earthian, and they've known each other for some time now. And recently, her feelings towards him have deepened beyond their usual friendship."

  "Shaye. Come on." My face was burning.

  Ashkan met my eyes. There was that aloof expression again. "And?"

  "There is no 'and'!" I protested.

  Shaye shot me a pointed look. "Oh, I beg to differ. There's a very big and, Brielle."

  Ash looked between us. "What's the and?"

  "Why do you want to know?" I demanded, trying not to sound petulant.

  He shrugged. "I just do."

  "It's nothing you need to be concerned with!"

  "If it's concerning you, it's concerning me."

  That made my heart jump a bit, which I tried to ignore. "I didn't ask for your concern."

  Ash's tone remained calm, though there was the faintest edge to it now. "Well, tough luck."

  My fingers tightened into fists. I hated this feeling. I didn't want Ashkan involved with my boy problems, especially since he was part of them. I didn't want to worry about it or talk about it or acknowledge it. It was my problem and mine alone.

  "I, for one, believe that discussing one's emotional difficulties out loud with close friends can be therapeutic," Shaye interjected, speaking very diplomatically.

  Ashkan added, "I've been told that bottling up emotions is generally bad."

  She nodded. "Precisely."

  "We already talked about it," I told her, avoiding Ashkan's eyes. "There's no more to talk about."

  "I was simply recounting what you told me earlier. He asked what had brought you here."

  I shot her a look.

  She said nothing more, instead taking her garments from my arms and returning them to her desk. I stared down at my feet. I really didn't want to talk to Ash about this. I really didn't. It wasn't his problem. It wasn't any of his business. I wanted him to pretend he didn't know. Why was it so difficult to just act normal? I felt like a child with a stupid, pointless crush. This wasn't like me at all. I'd always had more control of myself.

  "...What's that?" Ashkan spoke up quietly.

  I glanced up. "What's what?"

  He pushed himself off the wall and crossed over to where I stood. There was a new sort of concern in his gaze as he took hold of my left wrist. I frowned, about to ask what he was doing. But he moved my sleeve up my arm to reveal the obsidian cuff there. My pulse stuttered a bit.

  "...This isn't something you bought at a jewelry shop, is it?" His thumb ran across the metal, brows drawing together in an odd mix of curiosity and dread.

  Shaye watched silently, her face blank.

  I shook my head. "Uh, no. It's... It's what you think it is. A gift from the King."

  He gave a slight grimace. "They seriously felt the need to bind your magic like that?"

  "Yeah, they did." My voice came out harsher than intended.

  A gasp sounded behind us. We turned. Shaye stared, her hand over her mouth, eyes wide with horror.

  "...The King put an anti-dark magic band on you?!"

  "Yeah..." I repeated, giving a nervous smile. "I didn't really have a say in the matter."

  "Oh my gods…!" she whispered, moving forward and grabbing my arm with her own two hands. She gazed up at me with distress. "Why would they do that? These are only for criminals!"

  My shoulders slumped. I knew she didn't mean it as an insult, but I couldn't help the sharp sting her words sent through me. The humiliation. It was just another sign that the world thought me a dark creature. And, even though it was entirely fair of them to feel that way, I still wished that wasn't the case.

  Shaye glanced between Ash and I. "How could they? Is it safe? Does it hurt? Why–?"

  "I'm fine," I told her gently. "It's precautionary. They're just... Y'know. Really averse to that kind of stuff."

  Ashkan's fingers hadn't left my arm, and now tightened around my wrist slightly as if to remind me that he was there, that he was listening, that he was frustrated too.

  I glanced between the two of them, trying to ignore the warmth in my cheeks at how close he was to me. "It's no big deal. Don't worry about it."

  "When will it be removed?" Shaye demanded, letting me go. Her face was set with a stern kind of concern.

  I shrugged one shoulder. "After I've completed my task. Or whenever the King sees fit, I guess. Who knows?"

  Her eyes narrowed. "He really trusts you so little? How absolutely dreadful."

  I gave a wry smile. "You don't have to tell me twice." My eyes flickered over to where Ashkan's fingers still wrapped around my wrist. I nudged his foot with mine. "Ash, seriously. Stop staring. It's okay."

  He flinched, then looked down as if he was only now realizing what he'd been doing. "I'm checking the construction."

  "What, d'you want to take a picture or something?"

  His mouth curled into a faint smirk. "...No. Just seeing if there's a way to break it."

  My stomach leapt a little at the roguish look in his eyes, but I shoved down the fluttering in my chest and replied, "Good luck with that. The King said it's indestructible. Nothing's getting me out of this thing."

  "Hm. Yeah. This is oiselent, the most resilient alloy known," he commented, running his thumb across the metal. He'd yet to release his hold on me, and my skin was starting to feel all prickly and tingly. "Seamless. With an interior lock, likely. A tricky bit of craftsmanship."

  "Great." My tone was dry. "So what's the verdict, Mr. Blacksmith?"

  He didn't meet my gaze. "I wouldn't be able to get through the outer layer, much less the interior mechanism. Unless there was an opportunity to open the inner lock and study it up close, I couldn't even try to dismantle it. ...Sorry."

  My spirits fell, though I was grateful for the effort. "Ah, it's okay. It's like an ankle monitor, anyway. If I try to tamper with it, they'll know."

  "I'll try. If you want me to." Ash's tone was almost...determined. It was sweet of him, but I really didn't think there was a way to break the damn thing.

  "It's not worth the risk. But I appreciate the thought," I told him with a half-hearted grin.

  He let my hand go and the fabric of my sweater dropped back over my wrist, hiding the cuff from view again. His arms crossed, but it was in a casual, contemplative sort of way rather than the way they usually were, like he was guarding himself against the rest of the world.

  I sighed a bit. "Don't tell anyone about it, okay? I don't want to start a scene."

  They both agreed. Shaye apologized, though she had nothing to feel guilty for.

  "...How are you feeling about seeing Miss Lucera tomorrow?" she questioned uneasily. "What do you suppose will be done about her...transgression?"

  "No clue. It'll be weird. I'm sure the King has already sent a letter or something to Headmaster Gunthren. Hopefully, we'll see her fired, and I'll never have to deal with her again," I answered, thinking about the bracelet locked around my wrist. "I just feel like that won't be enough of a punishment."

  Ashkan made a sound of agreement.

  Shaye's brow furrowed. "Surely what she has exposed you to must be illegal. Whether it was her decision or not. Surely there is some form of retribution that must be taken for you."

  I shrugged again, feeling weary. "That's for them to sort out, I guess."

  A tense quiet hung between the three of us for a moment. I fidgeted with the hem of my sweater. This entire thing was a mess, but what more was I to expect? I was the girl from the other world. Nothing was ever going to be simple or straightforward for me. And it seemed like everyone was chomping at the bit to take advantage of my persistent na?veté. The entire world could be against me for all I knew, but it would still feel less awful than knowing that Miss Lucera, one of the most important, helpful figures in my journey on Emiarhia, would put me in danger to further some sort of agenda. I really wished I'd known her true nature sooner.

  There was a knock on the bedroom door. The three of us turned as the handle clicked and a head of bobbed, espresso brown hair appeared from the other side. It was Shaye's mom, wearing a friendly smile.

  "Brielle, it's wonderful to see you again," she greeted. "And, Ashkan, I was sorry to hear about those pesky reporters bothering you again. You poor kids, always having to deal with the press."

  Ash gave a wry smile. "Ah, we're used to it by now, ma'am."

  I said hello as Shaye went to hug her mother, asking, "How was work today, Mum?"

  "Tiring. So many clients requesting loans and tax refunds and the like," Mrs. Onusch-Eires answered. She brushed her hand over her daughter's hair before looking between me and Ashkan again. "Hungry? My husband is working on dinner now, if you'd like to stay. It'll just be some bescaux with side vegetables, but there should be plenty to go around with Cilas still out of town."

  I perked up. Bescaux was one of my favourites. It was basically a savoury, pie-like pastry that you put spiced meat into and bake. "Well, I don't want to impose–"

  "No, of course not. I'm not letting you two leave on an empty stomach," she protested, shaking her head.

  "We'll help set the table," Ashkan offered.

  "Oh, thank you so much, you sweethearts." She beamed. "It'll be ready in fifteen minutes. Come downstairs whenever you'd like. And, Shaye, could you pour the drinks? Thank you."

  With that, she disappeared back through the door. We soon followed her to the kitchen.

  Dinner was nice, and the company was nicer. Kelton and Fenryk did most of the talking after practically inhaling their food. The laughter helped to take the edge off things. Similar to how injuries worked with interdimensional travel, meals eaten only affected my body on that specific planet. And just like how wounds could only heal with me present in that world, I could only digest stuff in the same body my brain was currently in. This meant I didn't have to eat as often as people living on one planet only, since that stasis between worlds meant that the 'unused' body wasn't undergoing any processes. So, when I was hungry enough to eat on Emiarhia, I always had to make sure I was getting enough calories and nutrients in to maintain my strength. It was a lot of trial and error figuring out that sort of stuff. But on the bright side, I didn't have to worry about returning to one world after a while and discovering I'd died of starvation.

  Anyway, we chatted until the plates had been cleared and the glasses had been refilled with cider. It was a great distraction from the Lucera issue. Though the anger I felt about it all had been put aside, the betrayal still hung heavy in my chest. I wasn't sure what to expect at school tomorrow. Would I even see her? Had things been, once again, sorted out for me? Was Headmaster Gunthren aware of how this had happened? How much of the truth had King Typhis relayed in his letter? There were too many questions. My brain hurt just thinking about it. I pushed it all to the back burner.

  For now.