Quest Complete:

  Put Down That Pickaxe

  Civil unrest had erupted across Cali Port between the capitalists and the communist factions. Find a way to stop the madness before someone gets hurt.

  Objectives:

  Stop the protests: 1/1

  Reward: A mobile Base for your team.

  The notification popped up in my HUD, despite everything that had happened it was still satisfying to complete a quest. Maybe I could begin to put it all behind me as we ventured forth to Castalor.

  Looking flatly at our team’s new camper, I focused on it to bring up its notification.

  Mobile Base

  Though she may not look like much; this old girl can walk the walk. Travel the world in true comfort and luxury inside your very own Mobile Base.

  If it was good enough for the Scooby Gang it’s good enough for you.

  This vehicle is upgradable. Visit a mechanic for more details.

  The orange camper van sat underwhelmingly at the side of the road. It looked completely ordinary with tyres that definitely didn’t suit the local terrain and looked far too worn down to pass an MOT.

  In all honesty, I thought we’d be better off walking.

  The pink flower decal on the side didn’t help. Whoever painted this thing had no taste. The only thing that was missing was a surfboard on the roof.

  “This chariot is incredible!” Asmodeus declared from his perch on my shoulder.

  “I’m glad you like it,” I said with a shake of my head.

  “Why don’t you look inside,” Freja suggested, “I’ll be out here when you’re done, I still need to send you that quest before you leave.”

  As a team, we entered the camper, Rex ducking down to avoid banging his head on the low doors.

  Inside was significantly better.

  We found ourselves in a large sitting room complete with a communal dining table, a kitchen in the corner and doors leading to multiple bedrooms.

  “It’s bigger on the inside,” Bell gasped in awe. “Kaleb, I didn’t know you were a time lord!”

  “Time Lord?” Panda repeated, “he’s no David Tennant that’s for sure.”

  “I was thinking more of the Christopher Eccleston kind to be honest,” Bell said, touching her thumb and forefinger to her chin.

  “Thanks,” I said cheerily, “I liked him.”

  “You would,” Panda replied dryly.

  With a smile I went to check out the kitchen. It could do with a remodel but it’d work for our purposes. I’d never been much of a chef but with a hob, an oven and a fridge, I was sure I could manage.

  Approaching the hob I attempted to light it; pressing the spark button as I turned on the gas… nothing happened.

  “You need to put mana into it,” Rex explained as he padded up from behind.

  “I don’t have any,” I replied with a sigh.

  “You don’t need much, just a little will do,” he replied kindly.

  “No, I mean I don’t have any. There’s not even a mana stat on my interface.”

  “What!?” He exclaimed, “how can you have no mana at all, that’s unheard of.”

  “So I’ve been told… a lot,” I replied flatly.

  “Well, luckily for you, I know a thing or two about cooking.”

  Looking up at his grinning maw, I furrowed my brow sceptically.

  “You can cook?”

  “You’re damned right I can! What, did you think lycanids were only good for mercenary work? Everyone’s gotta have a hobby don’t they?”

  “Yeah… sorry.” I replied a little sheepishly, “the only lycanids I’ve met so far have been fighters. I guess I never really thought about what kind of jobs you guys do outside of that.”

  “Humans never do,” he replied in a wistful, almost resentful tone.

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  “Well, since you’re part of the team now why don’t you tell me a bit about your culture. Do your people have their own territory or anything?”

  “Funny,” he replied flatly. “Damned humans always cracking jokes at our expense. You know damned well we don’t. You might be my team leader now, and I like you, but let’s get one thing straight. Don’t make those kinds of jokes around me.” Folding his arms he shook his head at me like a father who’d had to scold one too many children.

  “I actually don’t know anything about your people, I’m not from here.”

  “Where could you possibly be from to not know about the lycanid tragedy of Athenile 506?”

  “Earth…” I replied and then, after seeing his hard, confused look, continued. “I’m an outworlder, I’ve only been In Celestia for a short time.”

  “An outworlder?” He laughed, “alright bossman, that’s a good one you got me. Everyone knows outworlders are a myth designed to scare kids.”

  “I’m being serious,” I replied with a slight chuckle of my own, “and what kind of stories do they say about outworlders to scare kids?”

  “Oh you know; eat all your food or an outworlder will steal your skin. Don’t talk to strangers, they might be an outworlder and they’ll steal your skin. Don’t talk back to your mother or the system will send an outworlder to steal your skin. Stuff like that.”

  “Ok… that seems a little morbid, and one dimensional…” I replied. “We have a thing back on Earth that’s pretty similar, they’re called Brother’s Grimm fairy tales and they basically serve the same purpose, or at least they did until Disney turned them all into happy animated musicals…”

  “You just don’t quit do you?” Rex said, sceptically, “alright then, if you’re so set on keeping up this charade then prove it. Outworlders have weird drawings on their backs right? Map pieces or whatever they’re called. Show me.”

  With a shrug, I turned around and unequipped my torso armour revealing two map piece tattoos. Rex gasped audibly and I smiled in satisfaction.

  “Happy now?”

  “Happy definitely isn’t the word I’d use,” he said. “I didn’t exactly realise I was going to be travelling with an outworlder when I asked to join your team you know, isn’t that dangerous?”

  “I thought you liked danger?”

  “Oh, I do,” he backtracked, “and on that, you still owe me a sparring match, human.”

  Not this again.

  “Kaleb, why are you half naked?” Bell said, walking into the kitchen, “I love an oiled up, well-muscled man as much as the next girl, but if we’re going to be living together we need to set some boundaries.”

  “Saved by the Bell,” I muttered to myself before replying. “There’s no oil on me?”

  “He was proving to me that he’s an outworlder,” Rex said.

  “Yeah, we both are, crazy right?” She replied casually.

  Rex’s eyes bulged and had it not been for the fur covering every inch of him, I likely would have seen the colour drain from his face.

  “You’re a?”

  “Yup.”

  “And you’re not?”

  “Nope, and while we’re at it, I’m not about to strip down and prove it to you… at least not for free,” she winked and Rex stumbled backwards knocking over a metal pan.

  “I-I wouldn’t, I mean it’s not that you’re not, but we’re on a team and… inter species relations are so taboo…” He stuttered and Bell and I burst into laughter as I doubled over from the stomach pain.

  Controlling herself better than I was, Bell quelled her own laugher and stood on her tiptoes whispering near to Rex’s ear.

  “If you think his abs look good,” she said gesturing flippantly in my direction, “then I bet you’d love to see mine. Having stats has practically made us models.”

  Rex looked between us with wide eyes, his fur standing on edge, then, he turned on his heels and ran away.

  “I think you made him uncomfortable,” I said, fighting through the laughter as my stomach cramped up.

  “Hey, come back, I haven’t even told you about the best parts!” Bell said, chasing after him with a malicious grin on her face. “Are you a lycanid or a scaredy cat?”

  As I calmed myself and eventually gained control over my giggling fit, I heard the sound of things being broken as the two ran around the camper like school children.

  Walking back into the living area, which was only made separate from the kitchen by an island of waist height cupboards which jutted out from the wall, I felt at ease.

  “Human!” Asmodeus exclaimed as he buzzed around my head like a chihuahua sized fly. “I have claimed the biggest room for my slumber, you must come and inspect it. It is simply magnificent, a far cry from that tattered old boat the overgrown cat called home.”

  “Don’t let her hear you call her ship tattered and old, even in her current state she’ll snap your wings off.”

  He looked at me through horrified eyes, “what appalling imagery, the idea of anyone being able to harm my wings is absurd. Now, are you going to stand around here in the servant’s quarters or are you coming to see our chambers?”

  “This is a living room, we don’t have servants,” I replied as I followed him into the hallway.

  “Then why did you hire a chef?”

  “What?”

  “The large puppy, he’s a culinary professional is he not? I heard him say so himself.”

  “Well yeah…”

  “Then we do have servants, why would you lie about such things? It’s almost as if you want to vex me into devouring your soul.”

  With a chuckle I decided not to reply to that and he led me into the furthest room from the communal area. The corridor itself was a bit of a tight squeeze. Doors were set into the walls on both sides and we seemed to have more rooms than we needed.

  In all honesty I was still struggling to understand how so much was able to fit into a VW campervan.

  Through our door was a room far more luxurious than I’d thought possible. It had the largest master bed I’d ever seen on the back wall with a window set above it.

  There was an ensuite, though I rarely needed to use the toilet anymore. Apparently as the body grows more refined through levelling, the need to dispose of waste is diminished. I tried not to think about it too hard.

  Weapons racks lined one side of the room and there was space to add extra furniture if we needed it.

  “Wow, you’ve outdone yourself picking this room,” I said, “are they all like this?”

  “Not at all,” he replied smugly, “why, the room next door is at least two cubic feet smaller, I measured it myself.”

  “You measured it… in feet?”

  “Of course, it is the superior unit of measurement is it not? And as a superior being myself, I wouldn’t dare sully myself with anything else.”

  “You’re strange for a dragon,” I said, patting him on his scaley head.

  “I am not just a dragon; I am a demon lord. Two superior beings melded together to create the perfect creature. I, dear human, am the next evolutionary stage. Therefore, I demand to have the best that this world has to offer. You’ve been lax in providing that so far, but with the introduction of this grand chariot I’m willing to let your past discretions slide… just this once.”

  “Well I’m glad to have pleased you, o’ great one,” I replied factiously, though he didn’t notice. Asmodeus nodded acceptingly at me and I left the room, my smile widening.

  “Kid, come here!” Panda called from the driver’s seat and I trapsed over to him, deftly dodging Rex and Bell as they continued to run rampant.

  “What’s up?”

  “This base can only be driven with mana, look,” he said, holding out a tube with a band on the end.

  I recognised it from my first encounter with a vehicle in this world, right back when I’d first met Panda. We’d stolen a truck to escape from some cultists and he had to fuel it with his mana whilst I drove.

  As a wagon driver in my past life, it felt a little odd that I couldn’t drive anything here because of my lack of mana. Then again, being chauffeured was nice in its own way.

  “I guess that means I get a free pass on driving duty then,” I grinned.

  “Yeah, about that, can I be the driver?” He asked, looking up at me with wide, round eyes.

  “Can you reach the pedals?”

  “It doesn’t have any, it uses a lever system.”

  “Are you tall enough to see through the windscreen?”

  “Adjustable seats.”

  “How can you grip the wheel without apposable thumbs?”

  “Pandas spend all day eating bamboo, my grip is legendary.”

  “Do you know how to drive?” I asked and he clammed up a little, looking away from me.

  “Well…”

  “Panda?”

  “I can learn,” he looked up at me with a roguish grin, showing off his teeth.

  “Sure, why not? I doubt anyone else wants to do it anyway.”

  Practically jumping for joy, he reached across and grabbed a small microphone on a bendy mental stick and pulled it towards his face.

  “Attention all passengers, this is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seatbelts and stow your trays as we prepare for take-off.” His voice bounced around the camper as he spoke into the microphone. It seemed that we had our very own PA system.

  “Hold on, we haven’t accepted Freja’s quest yet!” I yelled as he began pressing buttons and the rumbling sound of the engine burst into life. “And this isn’t an aeroplane!”