“Perhaps I overreacted a little,” the cat director said as he leaped across the office and onto a cushioned chair. “I suppose I did egg old Rohan on a little, but we literally just had the foyer refurbished and he should know better.”

  “Why did you egg him on?” Bell asked as we took to the sofa which sat opposite his desk.

  “What can I say, I purrsitively love a good fight. Besides, I wanted to see how your team would handle it, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Did he just say purr-sitively? I wondered, was that supposed to be a pun?

  “I take it you weren’t too impressed with our entrance then?” I asked.

  “On the contrary, I’m delighted to see the spirit of youth shining so brightly in all of you. But let me ask, if I hadn’t put a stop to it, do you think you’d have had any chance of beating him?”

  “Of course!” Asmodeus announced proudly, “a demon lord has nothing to fear from a man with no hair.”

  “Demon lord fragment,” I corrected, “and no, we wouldn’t have stood a chance. His aura was much more powerful than any of ours. Still, if push came to shove, we’d have fought him anyway.”

  “Interesting,” the director said slowly. “Smart enough to know when you’re beat but brazen enough to try anyway. Freja was right about you boy… you’re the exact type of imbecile who just might have what it takes to go all the way. Now, before we go any further can I ask a favour of you Kaleb? I can call you Kaleb can’t I?

  “It’s my name isn’t it?” I replied with a shrug, “and what should I call you?”

  “Chonkers.”

  “Excuse me?” I said, feeling my jaw hang just a little loosely.

  “My name is Chonkers. Well, my full name is actually Prince Chonkers the Third, Lord Protector of the Realm, Devourer of Mice, Hunter of Fish, and Heir to the Great Glucose Empire. But that’s a bit of a mouthful, so Chonkers will do just fine. Director Chonkers, if you’re feeling formal.”

  “That really is a bit of a mouthful.”

  “That’s what she said,” Panda giggled.

  “Purrhaps,” Chonkers replied, “but a name is an entrance to the soul, and at least mine is descriptive.”

  He did it again!

  “Yeah… so what is this favour you wanted?”

  “I would like to study your bonded familiar. Freja told me he was created from a fragment of demon lord Asmodeus himself and, as one of the foremost experts in demonology on the continent, it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to get to work with him. Of course, you’ll be amply compensated. You can have a luxury suite, only one floor down from here in the building. I’ll pay you, naturally. Oh, and I’ll allow you to keep your battlefield promotion without having to attend a seminar.”

  “Sold!” I said, almost before he was done speaking.

  “I am not livestock to be traded to the highest bidder, human,” Asmodeus huffed.

  “Part of my study would involve allowing you to feed on willing victi- participants,” Chonkers said with an upward inflection.

  “Then we are in agreement, feline.”

  “Glad to hear it!” Director Chonkers stretched out with a satisfying crack before spinning around on his cushion a few times. “Right then, unless there’s anything else…”

  “Actually,” I began, pulling the letter from my inventory. “Director Freja asked me to deliver this to you, though I have no idea why she couldn’t have just sent a system message.”

  Taking the envelope with a raised eyebrow, or as close to that as a cat could manage, he deftly sliced through the runes with a single claw. The envelope lit up with a brief golden glow, as if it recognised his DNA or something, then he peeled back the seal and read the tri-folded parchment within.

  “Ah, I see,” he murmured to himself as we watched. “It seems my Cali Port counterpart is quite ingenious. This letter asks for aid in her fight against the communist forces and, as you said, she could have easily done that over a system message. However, it seems that she has embedded some of her portal mana into the very parchment itself. If I add my mana to it, it should open up a portal right here that will allow immediate transport to Cali Port. Quite the marvel, I must discover how she managed to achieve such a feat.”

  “Why couldn’t she have told us that before,” Bell grumbled, “instead of being all cryptic about it.”

  “You know Freja,” Rex replied. “She’s not one for explanations.”

  “Quite right,” Chonkers added, “Director Freja is not one to suffer fools.”

  “Quite,” I mimicked, “also, I have two quests I could use your assistance with please. The first is a completed quest I need to hand in, the assistance I need is instating Rex as a fully-fledged member since he passed his three-quest temp period during our journey here. The second, is the entire reason we’re on the continent in the first place. Director Lucas of Havar asked us to come here to check on his father. You wouldn’t happen to know where to find him would you?”

  “Brother? How is he doing?” Chonkers replied.

  Brother!?

  “Brother!?” Bell and Panda exclaimed.

  “Why yes, Lucas and I share a father. I’m his elder brother.”

  “But… you’re a… how?” Bell asked.

  “The circumstances of my birth are quite the tale, but perhaps one for another time,” Chonkers replied with a slight chuckle. “However, I can assure you that we are, in fact, brothers. For now, I will have the paperwork completed for Rex’s induction, though he’ll have to attend the starter seminar tomorrow morning. As for the whereabouts of Father, look no further than that large palace in the centre of town. He is the ruler of this city after all.”

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  “Thank you,” I said, nodding slightly. “What about handing in our quest? The receptionist wasn’t exactly… accommodating.”

  “She was a bitch,” Bell added and I gave her a look.

  “I’ll make sure that the reception staff, and the rest of this city’s adventurers, understand that you are here with my express authority. However, you needn’t bother with the reception for handing in quests during your stay here. You’ll find everything you need in your suite.”

  ***

  “A girl could get used to this,” Bell chimed as she unequipped her scarlet robe and slipped beneath the bubbling water. “I can’t believe this suite comes with a hot tub!”

  The room we’d been offered for allowing Chonkers to study Asmodeus was a venerable palace. It was huge. In the centre was a large, open plan living room with a state-of-the-art kitchen on the side. A lacrima screen took pride of place on the main wall with a fireplace beneath it.

  Floating stairs circled around the room leading to multiple bedrooms complete with ensuite shower units and king-sized beds.

  A hot tub, heated by under-floor flame mana crystals, took up most of the balcony which overlooked the city. It was the sort of place I’d have expected a millionaire to own back on Earth.

  “Kaleb,” Rex called from the living room. “I believe this is what the Director was talking about.”

  Leaving Bell to her soak, I wandered back inside to see Rex looking quizzically at a machine which sat idly in the corner of the room. It almost resembled an ATM so I knew exactly what to do with it.

  Taking out my ID card, I inserted it into the slot and the lacrima screen on the wall blinked to life.

  Card recognised.

  Updating…

  Adventure Society ID:

  Kaleb Akabane

  Level: 54

  Rank: Bronze

  Class: Archer / Light Skirmisher

  Party: Dissident Flame

  Would you like to hand in all completed AS quests?

  Y/N

  It seemed the machine recongised the quests I had assigned to me from the data on the card. That had to be some other kind of mana, I had no idea quests were logged on there.

  Clicking yes on the ATM control panel, I turned back to the screen.

  Quest Completed:

  Grunt Work

  Director Freja of the Cali Port branch of Adventure Society has formally requested the aid of the Dissident Flame party to clear the road between Cali Port and Castalor.

  Like a bunch of absolute noobs, you have been asked to fight some monsters as you traverse the main road to Castalor.

  The Director has also offered suggested towns to stop in along the way. These are optional, but a hidden reward will be given if you manage to go to all of them.

  What an exciting and extremely advanced quest you’ve been given. Someone must really value your talents.

  Objectives:

  Slay monsters on the main road between Cali Port and Castalor 237/100

  Visit the following settlements (optional):

  Forge town 1/1

  Boggy Marsh 1/1

  High Rock 1/1

  Rewards:

  x100,000 gold per party member

  Hidden reward available upon completion of optional objectives.

  Optional objectives completed.

  Hidden Reward: Double all experience gained through the completion of this quest (this is a unique reward which can only be given to an adventurer once per rank)

  Do you accept?

  Y/N

  “Holly…” I began.

  “Hell-fucking-yes!” Bell squealed from the hot tub.

  “Praise the ancestors,” Rex added in awe, “joining Adventure Society has turned out to be quite the prosperous endeavour.”

  “It’s not usually like this,” Panda said. “You should take your money and run.”

  “I wonder how this even works,” I mused. “The society isn’t the one controlling level ups; how did they manage to get access to a reward like this?”

  “Most likely,” Panda explained, “they struck a deal with the system. It might even be part of their contract.”

  “Contract?” I asked.

  “How else did you think the society was able to hand out quests? It’s not like any old tramp on the streets can give you a quest is it? They only exist by the system’s will.”

  “I’m starting to understand why Clive and his town of zealots were so extreme now…”

  “There have long been those that sought the system’s favour,” Rex said, placing a red paw on his chin. “Some speculate that gods only manage to get their power by striking a deal of their own. Though I imagine theirs is quite different from the type Adventure Society would have.”

  “Either way, it’s a great reward!” I said, a smile tugging at my lips as I pressed the key on the ATM.

  X2 Exp initialising…

  Applying reward to previously gained exp…

  ….

  ….

  Application Complete!

  Congratulations! Due to a unique reward being activated, you have levelled up a total of (3) time(s).

  You are now level 57!

  I dived into my stat sheet, eagerly lapping up the bonus points that were added to all my stats. Gaining three levels at once also meant that I had fifteen bonus points to assign. I knew that I should really have split them between my most important skills: vitality and strength.

  However, I noticed that I finally had the opportunity to get my intelligence skill into the triple digits and I simply couldn’t help myself. Though it might not have been the best strategy, it sure felt satisfying to see that all of my skills were finally in the triple digits. Besides, what kind of idiot didn’t want to be smarter.

  “You know that’s not what the intelligence stat does,” Panda said irritably when I explained my choice to him. “It governs mana production, something you don’t even have!”

  “Some theorists think that the intelligence stat can also increase your ability to engage in lateral thinking,” Rex added. “That’s a crucial ability in battle.”

  “Not as crucial as his ability to charge up a powerful attack or, you know, NOT DIE!” Panda yelled.

  “Fine, fine,” I said putting my hands up. “I won’t put points into intelligence again. But, you have to admit. Having it in the triple digits should make my invisibility skill way more useful.”

  “Well there is that,” Panda sighed. “And since you never seem to take your armour off I guess it may as well be your ability at this point, rather than an equipment bonus.”

  “I heard he sleeps in it,” Bell called over from the hot tub.

  “I wonder if he bathes in it?” Rex mused, thoughtfully stroking the fur under his chin.

  “I do not bathe in my armour,” I chided.

  “Prove it!” Bell shouted, “come join me, we should have a team hot tub session to loosen up all that tightness from sleeping in the camper for so long.”

  “What tightness?” I asked, “we have real beds, its practically an apartment.”

  “Tell that to my lower back,” she called back.

  “I think I’m going to retire for the night,” Rex said sheepishly, avoiding looking in the direction of the balcony. “I have a busy morning with this seminar and everything.”

  “Quit being such a baby and get in here!” Bell shouted.

  “Actually, I might do the same,” I added.

  “Ha, I knew it!” Bell called. “You really do bathe in your armour and now you’re embarrassed.”

  “I do not!” I called back, “though it could do with a wash…”