Crap crap crap crap crap. My only friend is going to think I'm crazy!

  We are crazy.

  Yeah but we don't want her to think that! A-and Castalia says we're not crazy!

  Well, you need to say something because one way or the other that ship is sailing fast.

  "I-I-It's kind of personal!?" I stammer at Chloe. "I'd rather not, um… I don't really know how to… can we just drop it?"

  Chloe stares at me with a serious expression on her face, taking a painful amount of time to decide on her answer. This is it. It was nice for a while, I guess.

  "...Normally I'd be happy to drop it," Chloe says. "If anyone else asked me to, I would. But… as your friend, I think you have a recurring problem with not talking to people about important things in your life? And I'm… worried about that, to a degree that I think I'd be failing you as a friend if I didn't push you a little outside your comfort zone. Is that… okay? Do you think I'm stepping over a line here?"

  Ugh. She always makes it sound so reasonable. Make her fuck off.

  What!? No!

  I don't wanna tell her! You don't wanna tell her! Don't fucking tell her!

  Well maybe she sounds reasonable because she has a point! Maybe she should be worried about us!

  Maybe that's the problem! We're not worth being worried over, Minerva! She has better things to do with her time and her life than getting involved with mine!

  Oh. Oh, we're not scared of her thinking we're crazy at all, are we?

  Of course we are! Wait, don't you fucking dare—

  "You're right," I blurt while I still have the courage to. "You're right, it's… we have a problem. We have a lot of problems. I just don't want to make them your problems."

  Chloe gives me a soft smile.

  "Well, I'm… sort of meddlesome by nature," Chloe smiles softly. "I appreciate you trying to look out for me, but I'd really like to help if you'll let me. I can't promise I won't worry about it if you don't."

  Ugh, damn it! Why'd you tell her? Now she's being manipulative.

  She's being honest and heartfelt.

  I know! She can do both! And it'll work on us every time. It's bullshit.

  "Um… I'm not really sure what to say," I admit.

  "Well… okay. I was under the impression that you are Fulgora. But the way you spoke indicated that she's… not you."

  "I guess," I admit.

  "Is that… a function of your gem thingy?" Chloe asks. "Are you getting possessed when you fight?"

  Ha! Kind of.

  "What!? No!" I insist. "No, that's not how they work. It's just… you know how I said I'm Fulgora and Minerva? That's… not normal. I'm not normal. Uh, even by magical girl standards, I guess. And that's still how it is even when I'm not transformed. There's just more than one person in my head."

  "Oh," Chloe says, relaxing slightly. "Okay, so it's just… okay. That makes sense."

  What?

  "It… does?" I ask.

  "Er, sorry, that came out wrong," Chloe laughs. "I just… I was worried about something completely different, I guess, but it's just more cPTSD symptoms. I-I mean, not that that isn't bad, it's just… better than an entirely new problem, I guess."

  Huh? What?

  That's what I said!

  "...I'm a PTSD symptom?" I ask. "Wait, you think I have PTSD?"

  "Wh—yeah I think you have PTSD, Eliza! Of course I think you have PTSD! Our therapy dog thinks you have PTSD. You're literally a child soldier!"

  "I… I'm fine, though?"

  "Eliza, I say this as your friend who cares about you and respects you very much, but you are the least fine human being I've ever met in my entire life. And that's saying something!"

  …Well damn.

  "I, uh, don't really know what to say to that," I admit. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess, I guess? What's that you were saying about PTSD symptoms, though?"

  "Oh, it's just… well, I'm pretty familiar with the signs and symptoms, and I've done a lot of research on it because I wanted to make sure I could help my dad and not mess anything up, you know? My dad doesn't have Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I made sure to look stuff up about it just in case. It's often, but not necessarily, a result of consistent developmental trauma. Which, y'know, you have in spades. That's a big part of why I originally reached out to you. You remind me of my dad."

  I frown.

  "You started reaching out to me years ago."

  "I mean… yeah? What, do you think your nonstop state of fight-or-flight is a recent thing?"

  "I just… is that… is that why we're friends!?" I ask desperately.

  I knew it. She pities us. Like we're some injured stray cat!

  No. Calm down. Let her answer.

  Calm down!? Why the hell should I calm down!?

  Fulgora's rage—and her fear—inevitably bleeds into me. It's not… I mean it's not the worst thing in the world if she just considers me a charity case, right? A bit of a waste of her time, but not the end of the world. I'd certainly feel hurt—I was hoping she genuinely liked me—but it's nothing I can't handle. The worst case scenario isn't worth spiraling over.

  "What!?" Chloe gapes. "Eliza, no! It's why I reached out to you before I ever knew you. We're friends because once I got to knew you, I liked hanging out with you!"

  Liar liar liar liar.

  "Wh-why?" I ask. "I don't really… do much. I don't have any hobbies, I don't have a fashion sense, I'm not good at anything other than fighting… you mostly just drag me around with you to do things you like, and I mean… that's fine, I like doing that with you, but you don't really need me for any of it. I'm just… tagging along."

  "I…" Chloe blinks. "I don't… agree with that? I've never thought of you as just 'tagging along.' I've always worried I was pulling you along to places you never even wanted to go! You cancel a lot, but I know you're busy, and you never cancel very consistently so I was hoping that's all there was to it, and I just… I wouldn't go to all this effort if I didn't enjoy your company!"

  "I… I'm really sorry I take so much effort to hang out with! I don't mean to cancel so much, I—"

  "Eliza, that is not the takeaway here!" Chloe cuts me off. "Oh my god, girl! I like you! Do you see me hanging out with anyone else!?"

  I blink, hesitating at the question.

  "...Don't you have tons of other friends?" I ask.

  "Wh… no!?" Chloe says. "You're my best friend, Eliza! I don't have anyone to hang out with other than you and my dad. I've kinda had to take care of him for most of my life, so I haven't really had a lot of time until recently. Everyone else has their own friend groups and cliques and I just… have you. Don't you dare act like you aren't a good friend!"

  "But… but what do I actually do that makes me a good friend?" I ask.

  "I don't know, we hang out together!" Chloe groans. "This doesn't have to be so complicated! I enjoy your company. You let me drag you out to all sorts of places I'd be embarrassed to go alone, and you listen to all my rambling complaints, and you just… you like being around me! And I like being around you! Does it really have to be anything more than that?"

  Yes? No? Maybe? It feels like it does! And yet, she's right. I like being around her. I'm scared she doesn't feel the same way, but she says she does, and shouldn't I trust her? She's my friend.

  "S-sorry," I manage. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make a big deal out of this. I like hanging out with you a lot."

  "Likewise," Chloe smiles. "So! Do you wanna talk about the whole… 'two of you' thing?"

  "Not… really," I answer. "I mean, it's weird, but it's not that complicated. I'm Minerva, sometimes Fulgora takes over, but we're both Eliza. It's not like I'm going to forget this conversation if she starts using the body. You can just treat us like you always do."

  'We're both Eliza.' Sure. Why not?

  We both answer to the name 'Eliza.' That's enough, right?

  I dunno. I guess so. It's fine as answers go either way; I don't want her to start calling us Minerva and Fulgora while we're in civies. It would feel so weird.

  Oh, hard agree.

  "Oh! Well, that's good to know," Chloe says. "Sometimes dissociative disorders like this do cause memory problems, so it's reassuring that it isn't as much of an issue for you."

  I wince.

  "Can we not call it a 'disorder?' I know it's technically correct, I just…"

  "Oh! Oh, sure, no problem," Chloe nods. "Sorry for uh, forcing the conversation into something so heavy. I'm glad we cleared the air on all that, though!"

  "...Yeah," I agree.

  I guess it's nice to know that we won't chase off our only friend.

  I suppose, in retrospect, if she was going to be upset by the revelation that we have serious issues she would have done it by now.

  Ha! True enough. Oh, we should probably order something to eat, right? Let's see… I'm pretty hungry. Chicken fried chicken?

  As opposed to what? Sure, why not. I'm exhausted after all that, you can pick whatever you want.

  "Shouldn't it be called chicken fried steak fried chicken?" I muse.

  "...What?" Chloe blinks at me.

  "Chicken fried chicken," I clarify. "It's different from regular fried chicken… somehow. Presumably it's made in the same way chicken fried steak is made, which itself is different from how normal fried chicken is made. So chicken fried chicken isn't actually fried like chicken, it's fried like chicken fried steak. Hence, chicken fried steak fried chicken."

  She stares at me for a moment, and then a laugh bursts out of her all at once, sudden to arrive and quick to recover from. She smirks at me.

  "I dare you to actually call it 'chicken fried steak fried chicken' when the waitress comes to take our order," she says.

  Like I would!? Oh my god, I'm already mortified just from thinking about it.

  Do it anyway.

  Why!?

  Why not? Chloe laughed, so it's funny.

  Hmm. I… guess?

  "Uh… you know what, bet accepted," I tell her, already regretting it but committed to the joke. "What do I get for winning it?"

  "A happy college roommate, I guess," Chloe answers. "It won't be long before summer is over. Living with you is going to be interesting, I can already tell."

  "My life is many things, but it's not boring," I agree. "I'm… looking forward to it, Chloe. Thanks for putting up with me."

  "Hey, none of that kind of talk!" Chloe insists. "My friend is pretty cool. I won't have you bashing her."

  "...Thanks," I sigh. This is something, isn't it? This is something good. Something for Eliza, rather than just Minerva and Fulgora. Something to make me think I might still be human. It doesn't feel quite right, but… it's not unpleasant.

  We have a good friend.

  Yeah. We do.

  - - -

  "Oh my gosh! Check this out, everybody! Come on, come on, come on!"

  With an irritated grunt, Nanaya picks up the TV remote and pauses the movie we were watching, turning to stare at the excitedly bouncing form of Thea, hopping back and forth between her little feet with her tail swishing behind her.

  The entertainment area of the castle isn't much to look at, with a chunky CRT television, a DVD player, and a few old game consoles hooked up to a small generator that runs on big jars of emotions stolen from people on Earth. The furniture, particularly the couch, looks like it was grabbed off of a curb after someone dumped it and slapped a 'free' sign on the front. I have opted to stand behind the ratty thing rather than sit down, afraid it would collapse under my weight. It's already creaking precariously as it tries to hold Melpomene, Anath, and Nanaya all at once, and it's not like standing is less comfortable for me than sitting. It just kind of feels right standing behind Melpomene instead of sitting next to her anyway. It's weirdly satisfying. I try not to think about it.

  Anyway, the remarkable poverty in which the Dark Rebellion lives has always struck me as odd given the amount of profit I know they make from artifact sales. Trying to watch anything on this ancient television is painful; it works by drawing the screen one line of pixels at a time, and I know this because I can see it doing that in real time. At my default optical settings it's like trying to watch a movie by physically printing every frame and staring at the pages as they drop out of the machine. I have to manually neuter my own sensorium in order to look at the screen without going insane, but the movie itself hasn't been bad. We were right in the middle of a super emotional scene, in fact.

  Hence why Nanaya is clearly so irritated that Thea interrupted us.

  "What!?" she growls.

  "Oh, uh, were you all busy? I can come back if you were in the middle of—"

  "Just tell us what you figured out, sweetie," Melpomene interrupts her.

  "R-right, um, well look at this!" Thea rallies, taking out what looks like a floppy piece of rubber and slapping it onto her own face. "I got the 3D printer to work!"

  She takes her hand away, revealing a terrifying mask that appears to be made of human skin. Smoothing it against her face, it sticks perfectly, changing her normal green coloring into a startlingly human replacement… if you ignore the eyes, which are unaffected, and the mouth, which still opens to reveal sharp little teeth that should not be there. The seams at the edge of the mask are equally conspicuous, and little bumps still accompany the green gemstones growing out of her body, but overall it's still an impressively realistic mask.

  "Check it out! Synthskin! I bet I could make some sick disguises out of this stuff! Maybe we could even hide on Earth?"

  Everyone stares at her.

  "That… is very impressive, Thea," Melpomene hedges. "But, um…"

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  "Can it hide tails?" Anath blurts. "Because I've got like, a huge fuckin tail coming out of my ass. Also fur. That seems too sticky to play nice with fur."

  "Mmm. I think we have a few fundamental biological incompatibilities with such a plan," Nanaya agrees, lifting up one of her many-jointed alien legs. "A change in skin color is far from all we would need to pass as human."

  "I… but… I mean maybe my incarnate form—"

  "—Would still radiate magical energy like one," Nanaya cuts her off. "The Preservers would immediately start looking for you."

  "And you'd still be recognizable by your eyes," Melpomene agrees.

  "W-well I could make special contacts or something, too!" Thea insists.

  "Contacts that hide your sclera?" Nanaya prods, raising an eyebrow. "That wouldn't work. It might even be more visible."

  "B-but I just…" Thea stammers, peeling the fake skin off despondently. "Don't you guys want to visit Earth without getting attacked for once? Surely there's some way to disguise ourselves better. There has to be! Do none of you miss the sun?"

  Nanaya, Anath, and Melpomene all stare at her, seeming surprised.

  "Not… really?" Melpomene admits. "I honestly can't say I do, sweetie."

  "It's easier to work under cover of darkness," Nanaya agrees.

  "I mean, I do like the sun," Anath says, "but I get to see it when I head out to beat up Fulgora, so it's not so bad."

  "Ugh," Thea sighs. "So it's useless, is what you're saying? Feel it, though, I got it crazy accurate to living tissue. I put a lot of work into this!"

  "Well, perhaps you shouldn't have," Nanaya answers flatly. "There isn't much purpose for a skintight disguise when none of us can take advantage… of…"

  Nanaya trails off, glancing at me. Huh?

  "What, you think I can pass as normal?" I ask her. "I don't have a mouth, my eyes are mostly decorative, and I weigh like three hundred pounds."

  "...All of which could potentially be mitigated," Nanaya hums. "Though the eyes would certainly be an issue."

  "I-I could create fake eyes!" Thea blurts. "I mean, even glass eyes pass under scrutiny from most people. A-and could make yours move! Hook them up to your actual optical system. Create a blink manager."

  "Mmm. And if we cover your mouth or teach you ASL, you won't need to be able to move it," Nanaya agrees. "This could work, assuming it is executed well enough."

  "Y-you think so!?" Thea brightens up. "Er, no, of course it will! I'll make it work!"

  "...What is going on here?" Melpomene asks.

  "We're finding consistent work for Luna," Nanaya says. "With Thea's invention, she could be our Earth liaison. The duties take up more of my time than I'd like, and she could potentially stand up under much heavier scrutiny."

  "Ooh, yeah! We're always running low on stuff," Anath agrees.

  "Why do you need to find jobs for Luna?" Melpomene asks, clearly a little irritated.

  "So I don't die of boredom," I answer. "In an entirely literal manner, to be clear."

  "Meditation and training have proved to be a holding pattern for Luna at best," Nanaya agrees. "She hasn't been trained from a young age to shape her thoughts like we have; on the contrary, her clinical depression has caused her to be mentally and emotionally stunted."

  "...Hey," I protest.

  "As a consequence, she requires regular activity to stimulate emotional responses," Nanaya continues, ignoring me. "Not even sadness comes naturally to her when she has no tasks to disapprove of or fail at."

  "Hey!"

  "I… suppose," Melpomene agrees. "But you think the solution is sending her out in public?"

  "Interaction with other people is likely to be the best source of power for her," Nanaya nods. "I've been thinking about ways to actually accomplish this while still moving towards our goals and without risking her safety. Disguising her nature as an artifact to allow her to operate freely on Earth would create hitherto-impossible opportunities."

  "I… surely there's something that isn't as risky," Melpomene hedges.

  Ugh, I want to say 'what, like diving into fragments of a dead universe while magical girls attack me?' but I can't contradict her that blatantly. I am so looking forward to getting back to Earth.

  "It might be risky, but think of the rewards," I tell her. Changing her mind to something I think will benefit her is absolutely allowed. "I'm alien supertech. If I'm granted unrestricted access to the internet, I can probably do all kinds of crazy things to further the Dark Rebellion. I can keep track of convergences worldwide. I can track down people that would be sympathetic to our cause. I can dredge up endless amounts of blackmail on the politicians I'm pretty sure you're bribing for some reason. Why are you doing that, by the way?"

  "Various reasons," Nanaya answers. "A lot goes to keeping mundane law enforcement looking the other way at illegal artifact sales, keeping our supply unbothered and forcing the Earth Guardians to dedicate more time to it. Some of it goes into funding magical research, which isn't likely to see much profit for a long time and is thus relegated to investment from eccentrics who just want to be able to use magic. Some of it goes to personal goals, like encouraging a reduction of the US Military's budget for foreign interference. Most of it goes towards shoring up care for orphaned children and the homeless."

  "Huh. Really?" I ask.

  "Recently-homeless orphan children make up a frightening percentage of Earth Guardian recruits," Melpomene frowns. "It's certainly how most of us ended up joining."

  "Monsters kill your mom and dad," Anath grunts. "Then a flying cat goes 'hey, want the power to kill monsters?' Who would say no?"

  "Oh, that's messed up," I admit.

  "What's really messed up is that it might honestly still be a better deal than ending up in the American foster system," Thea sighs. "And it's certainly better than living on the street."

  "Amen to that," Anath nods.

  "So the obvious solution is to destroy the root of the problem: the inefficiencies of the institution designed to protect vulnerable children in the first place," Nanaya concludes. "Children need to be educated about the dangers of Earth Guardianship and content enough with their lives not to seek it out. Otherwise, there will continue to be children raised more or less exclusively by the Preservers, and consequently groomed into their ideology."

  "Oh my god," I realize. "Are we actually not the baddies!?"

  "Was that still in doubt!?" Melpomene demands.

  "Do you still look like a Disney villain? Oh yeah, you do!" I snipe back. "And I mean, we are on the team that beats up children."

  "Only because we oppose the team that sends children to fight us," Nanaya insists. "I will not act as though we are paragons of morality—"

  "I like to fight children!" Anath declares happily.

  "—but we are certainly not doing what we do for personal gain. We agreed on this at the outset: there will be no using our power to accrue wealth and comfort. All resources will go towards achieving our objectives, with small, budgeted allowances for personal necessities and emotional self-care."

  "That's why I have to steal all my Cheetos," Anath nods sagely.

  "...No, that is not why," Nanaya scowls. "We have plenty of money for food. You just insist on eating nothing but junk food no matter how much I try to stop you."

  "W-we're getting off topic here!" Thea insists. "You're basically saying I should design an entire skinsuit for Luna, right? It's not really what I was hoping for, but that does sound fun. What does human Luna look like…?"

  "Not that I actually want to encourage you to use it as a reference, but I do actually have a real human body walking around," I remind her. "That's what human Luna looks like."

  "The very fact that your original body still exists is all the more reason not to use it as a reference," Nanaya says. "We don't want people to recognize you."

  "So I get to design something new!" Thea beams. "I bet you'd be really cute with freckles…"

  Oh dear! Um. The idea of a cute girl manually designing my body to also be cute is profoundly exciting and terrifying in ways that make me very glad that people are unable to read my emotions by default. I doubt Thea truly realizes how kinky some of the things she does and says around me are, but surely she knows that was a little flirtatious? Surely?

  "I haven't agreed to any of this yet," Melpomene interrupts, scowling at me. She's definitely figured out how flirtatious that was, and she's not happy! Sorry Mom, but the mechanic likes her robot better than you. Maybe. Hopefully someday.

  "Do you have a compelling reason to object?" Nanaya asks. Damn, she's been really swinging in my corner!

  "Luna's most valuable ability is her capacity to translate the Antipathy language. She can't do that for us if she's gallivanting around on Earth."

  "I also can't do that for you if you have nothing for me to translate," I remind her. "I finished with your notes a week ago, and you haven't found any more fragments that have writing samples. I've just been waiting around and occasionally sneaking into empty chunks of Dark World. It's not like being your liaison to Earth means you're never going to see me again. I won't be useful to you if I don't remain in regular contact, so anytime you have something for me to translate I can still do that. It doesn't take very long."

  "My thoughts exactly," Nanaya nods. "We are underutilizing her, Melpomene. She enjoys taking advantage of the skills granted to her by her new form. We all know the feeling. Denying her the opportunity to more completely be what she is would be wasteful."

  "I… suppose," Melpomene hedges. "I'm just worried about you, Luna dear. The worst thing that could happen if the Earth Guardians catch one of us is that they try to imprison us. But if they catch you, there's a chance you'll never see Earth again. I don't want that to happen."

  Aww, look at how careful and considerate she's pretending to be! That's so sweet.

  "I'll be fine!" I reassure her. "I have plenty of experience fighting off Earth Guardians, if necessary!"

  "I wouldn't call your level of experience 'plenty,'" Melpomene scowls. "More importantly, if you're spending most of your time on Earth then there will be periods when the castle won't be converging. You'll have nowhere to retreat to and we'll have no way to help you. We won't even have any way to know what has happened until our fragment overlaps with Earth again. There could be days, possibly weeks when you're entirely on your own!"

  Oh my god that sounds awesome that sounds so awesome I can't let her know how much I want that.

  "I'm fast, and I can hide my magical signature. If I somehow get found out, I should still be able to give the magical girls the slip. Besides, why would they go after me in the first place? I'll look like a normal human, and outwardly I'll be acting like one too. Why would a magical girl attack someone who isn't doing any magic? They'd have no reason to look for me, so there's no way they'd ever find me. I'll probably never even see one!"

  "Agreed," Nanaya nods. "If anything, it's significantly safer than the solo operations we've sent her on so far. The lack of backup is more than made up for by the lack of hostility in the first place."

  Melpomene purses her lips, clearly trying to think of a counterargument while I do my best not to do the same. Fortunately, I really do think Nanaya and I have the more solid position here, and soon enough Melpomene sees that she doesn't have much choice but to concede.

  "…Fine," Melpomene huffs. "I suppose if you're all so adamant about it. But I want frequent updates! As often as you can reasonably manage."

  "Aye-aye, ma'am!" I confirm, snapping her a half-sarcastic salute.

  "And of course, all of this hinges on whether or not Thea can make a genuinely convincing disguise," Melpomene continues. "Not that I have any reason to doubt her, but if the whole thing gets completed and it's still obvious that Luna isn't human, we'll have to scrap the entire plan."

  "Challenge accepted!" Thea declares, clenching both fists to show her determination. "I'll make the most realistic disguise you've ever seen! Or… actually, how realistic does it have to be? Is there any chance of someone seeing Luna naked?"

  "Okay, you have to be doing this on purpose," I blurt. "Do you have any idea how hard I'd be blushing right now if I had a face?"

  "Doing what on purpose?" Thea blinks innocently. "And you have a face! Blushing, though, that's a good idea. I wonder if that's possible. There's gotta be some way to manually change the color of your skin on the fly… oh, right! I should probably ask, because I completely forgot. Are you white?"

  "No, she's obviously blue!" Anath butts in.

  I can't resist the urge. I can't.

  "Oh my god, Thea, you can't just ask somebody if they're white," I tell her.

  "But… it's relevant information," she answers despondently, predictably not getting the reference. "I mean, I guess I can make you look like any ethnicity you want, but if I remember correctly people get a little weird about that kind of thing?"

  "Thea if you would like me to give you a lesson on racial politics I would be more than happy to oblige at a later date," Nanaya deadpans. "For now, yes, Luna is caucasian. Other details may be adjusted at your discretion."

  "Awesome!" Thea vibrates.

  "Hey, don't I get any say in what I look like?"

  "Yeah, sure!" Thea agrees. "Before we get to any detail work we'll have to figure out the mechanical issues, though. Considering how mobile your plating is, your body probably isn't designed to be encased in a skintight suit. We'll need to check how it impacts your sensorium, your mobility, and especially your haptic feedback. I don't want this to be uncomfortable for you. If we're lucky I'll have to reverse-engineer some of your sensors and figure out how to implement them into circuitry hidden within the skin."

  "Why would that be something that happens if we're lucky?" I ask. "Is the alternative really bad?"

  "Yeah, the alternative is that there aren't any problems and I don't have a good excuse to reverse-engineer you. Come on!"

  She grabs my hand and starts dragging me away, which I of course allow her to do. Melpomene glares daggers at me as I get pulled out of the room, so I shoot her a peace sign to piss her off even more before getting tugged out of sight.

  Thea's workshop is as messy as ever, with countless tools and half-disassembled artifacts scattered across every horizontal surface. She shoves enough of it to the side for me to lie down on the table like I usually do, and then starts fiddling with her computer, which is currently hooked up to the massive blocky artifact we ultimately identified as the 3D printer.

  "So, in getting all of this to work, I figured out a good deal more about interfacing with Antipathy software," Thea comments idly as she taps away. "Software isn't exactly my area of focus, but I know a thing or two about Assembly, and the way the Antipathy do things is… I mean, it's different, but it's not difficult. I feel like I'm learning more about their culture just figuring out how and why their software works the way it does than I ever did looking at old ruins. It's pretty cool!"

  "I'd imagine so," I agree. "Is their coding structure designed to be as infuriating as possible or something?"

  "Not at all, actually!" she responds. "Pretty much the opposite. Like it was intended to be easy to figure out. A lot of stuff in modern computing is a little awkward and inefficient just because it's an artifact of the way things used to work, and the new scaffolding was built upon older foundations. We try to avoid that, obviously, but Antipathy software structure is immaculately clean by comparison. Almost as if it was designed from the ground up to be easy to reverse engineer."

  "That seems… noteworthy," I comment.

  "That's what I thought!" Thea agrees. "I was gonna tell Mel about it, but then I forgot and made the synthskin stuff, and then I got really excited about that and I only really remembered it now that I'm back down here looking at the code again. But it's cool! Like the Antipathy were trying to be nice to whoever came after them. Maybe they knew they were going to die."

  "Maybe," I concede. "But maybe they just rebuilt their systems like that because it's efficient. I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of people who want to adjust fundamental aspects of the systems we use to be easier to interpret, they just haven't gained enough traction."

  "I guess that's fair," Thea pouts. "One way or the other, it's very helpful to me specifically. So thanks, Antipathy! Your technology is the coolest!"

  On one hand, I'm flattered. On the other hand, I'm an enslaved soul trapped in a torture device. I'm not really sure if I agree with Thea on this one.

  …Nah, who am I kidding?

  "I have to admit, casting off my mortal flesh hasn't been as rough of a transition as I was expecting," I tell her. "Not being able to talk was a little bit 'I have no mouth and I must scream,' but now I can scream, so I don't feel as much of a need to. I feel so powerful! It's hard to imagine going back to my crappy, freaky old flesh."

  "Yeah, that's fair," Thea agrees. "Most Earth Guardians feel the same way about their incarnate forms. I know I do."

  "Oh yeah?" I ask. "What's that like?"

  Thea stops typing, taking a moment to think about the question.

  "It's like… submerging yourself in warm water after forgetting to bathe for a week," she answers slowly. "Like going from some gross, wretched copy of yourself into actually feeling like… you. It's so physically and emotionally gratifying in a way I just can't really describe. I wish I could stay in mine all the time, but I can't. I can't even get close. So I mostly try not to think about the fact that I can turn into it at all."

  There's a lot of things I could say here. 'I think you look great like this, too,' is one of them, and it would be true, but personal experience tells me that isn't at all something she would want to hear. As adorable as a little green otter girl is, that isn't an appearance she takes pride in, and I can respect that.

  "That all sounds very familiar," I admit. "You could probably train to maintain your incarnate form all the time, right? I'm pretty sure Castalia does it."

  Thea rolls her eyes.

  "Castalia is Castalia. The fact that she can do it doesn't mean I can. There's no way I'd pull it off."

  That's kind of sad to hear. I want to push her a little harder on it, but I'm not really sure how.

  "Well, your incarnate form looks absolutely sick," I compliment her instead. "You scared the shit out of those poor Earth Guardians when you transformed."

  That gets a laugh out of her.

  "Luna, that's a bad thing!" she insists. "One of them was a green mage!"

  And one of them was an orange mage, so I suppose scarousal would also be bad? I normally find Thea more cute than sexy, but if she keeps teasing me (intentionally or otherwise), that will almost certainly change. I'm a bit weak like that. Hmm. I wonder what it says about me that nearly all my crushes are capable of leveling a skyscraper.

  Oh, well. It doesn't really matter. There's a good chance my programming would prevent me from pursuing a relationship with Thea even if I wanted one. There's no way I could convince myself that Melpomene would approve. This wouldn't even qualify for the usual 'it's okay to piss her off because it makes her more powerful' clause; I'm pretty sure she would straight-up order me not to date the girl.

  "Come here, let me scan your face," Thea says, breaking me out of my musings. I hop off the table and kneel down next to her, at which point she pulls out something that looks like a barcode scanner and lasers my head with it. Two slow sweeps, up and then down.

  "Alright, looks like I got it!" she confirms, turning back to her computer screen. "Just add a little here and there, sprinkle in some of that… yeah! That looks good. Printin' time!"

  The literal and possibly also metaphorical black box chugs away, eventually depositing another facemask. Thea picks it up and motions me closer, so I present my face to her, allowing her to carefully press the mask onto my head to stick it in place. Her fingers trace the contours of my faux-cheekbones, around the inner rim of my eye sockets, pressing the fake skin in and making sure it's tight.

  "Did you put freckles on it?" I ask.

  "I sure did!" Thea confirms.

  "...Do they make me look cute?" I ask, my courage bolstered by burned-away embarrassment.

  "The cutest!" Thea beams, pressing both of her palms into my cheeks and squeezing.

  Oh. Oh no. That's gotta be flirting, right? Surely? Definitely? I'm not sure what to do with this information! Is she actually possibly maybe into me?

  …Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised about this. She has already been inside me, after all.

  "So?" she asks. "Can you feel me okay?"

  "What?" I ask, my voice only remaining steady due to being entirely artificial.

  "We're testing haptics here," she reminds me. "Does the skin interfere with your ability to feel my hands?"

  "Oh. No," I respond. I can definitely feel her adorable, soft, warm hands. On my face. Which she designed.

  "Aww," she pouts. "Well, at least I get to rig up a system to give you human-looking eyes. Do you have a color preference?"

  "Green," I blurt.

  "Ehehehe. Okay! Let's get your faceplate off so I can access your ocular system; I'll have to make sure whatever I do to completely cover your eyes can still allow you to see."

  "Oh, yeah, sure," I agree, carefully pulling off my front head plating without interfering with the mask currently stuck to it. Flipping it around, I get my first good look at the face Thea designed for me. With empty eye holes it's fairly obviously not real, but the craftsmanship is still impressive. Though static, the lips are soft and properly proportioned despite my lack of mouth. I can't tell the nostrils don't go anywhere unless I look way up into the nose, and of course the light dusting of freckles on the cheeks is remarkably… personal.

  She made this for me. To be my face, or the first draft of it. No one else's. She's going to make a whole body for me. A head, hair, arms and legs, breasts and maybe even—

  "U-Um!" Thea suddenly squeaks, and I look up to see her cheeks blushing a dark brown.

  "What?" I ask, panic and embarrassment mixing with my arousal.

  "I'm not, uh, the best at reading people's emotions, but that's a lot of… I mean, even I can feel it if you… I didn't think you could even… um. U-um! Forget it! Forget I said anything!"

  Oh fuck oh god oh shit I forgot that I live with empaths!

  "Wait, Thea, I—"

  "I need to go to the bathroom!" she blurts, scuttling out of the room and rushing down the hall. I remain in her workshop, sitting around and feeling like an idiot.

  I guess that probably wasn't flirting, then. I am a lesbian; I should have known that my guess would always be wrong.

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