Xavier always did have trouble sleeping at night. Between his sensitivity to the emotions around him and his own swirling thoughts, he always lied in bed for a long while before falling asleep. Last night was an exception though. He went to sleep smoothly for once. Xavier drifted into the kind of dream that felt as real as morning light. He was snug in bed, drifting lazily between sleep and wakefulness, when the blare of his alarm pulled him awake. He groaned, hitting the snooze button, but before he could settle back in, he felt the familiar tug of his sheets.

  “Up, up, up, or you’ll be late!” his mom chimed, yanking the covers off of him. She leaned down, pressing a warm kiss to his forehead, and grinned. “Come on. Don’t make me pull you out of this bed. I’ve got toast waiting for you down stairs. I have to go to work soon.” She slammed the door shut, and Xavier heard the thud knock down the picture of their family that Xavier always kept next to his bed.

  Grumbling a little but still smiling, Xavier threw on his clothes and trotted to the kitchen. His mom handed him two slices of toast. He polished off one and left the other on the table, barely thinking about it. His brother was probably still asleep, so Xavier figured he’d just leave the toast for him. This morning, for once, he’d make it to school first. He couldn’t wait to see Xander’s face when he got there before him.

  Grabbing his bag, Xavier raced out the door, down the block, and around the corner to school just in time for first period. His first period was history class with Mr. Yahari, and as usual, his droning voice almost lulled Xavier back to sleep. But Xavier kept himself awake, eager to get through the day, knowing he’d get to tease his usually diligent twin for sleeping in.

  The day rolled by in its usual rhythm. He had breezed through chemistry, laughing with his friends Xaden and his new friend, Astra, when they nearly caused a disaster with their experiment. Mr. Boots was practically boiling over with frustration. By lunchtime, Xavier was ready to swap stories with Xander about the near-miss explosion and how he made it to school before Xander, already picturing his brother’s amused, teasing grin.

  But Xander never showed up. Xavier looked around all lunch to see if Xander would come in but Xander just wasn’t there. Xavier thought, Maybe he is sick, and he is still at home. Maybe he’s hogging mom all to himself. Xavier shrugged it off and went on with his day.

  When the final bell rang, Xavier ran home, anticipation building. He’d find Xander at home, surely. His mom was already there and laying out banana nut bread. It was his absolute favorite. It was a perfect after school snack. She handed him three plates. Grinning, he grabbed two of them and dashed through the house, calling for Xander. But no one answered. He ran passed a picture of him and his mom that he didn’t recognized. It was just them two, no Xander

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  Confused, he went back to the living room. “Hey, Mom, where’s Xander?” he asked, hoping maybe his brother was resting or hiding out somewhere.

  “Who’s Xander?” she asked, frowning, as if she thought he was pulling a prank. “You’re a bit too old for imaginary friends, you know.”

  The words “Who’s Xander?” echoed through Xaviers soul. Xavier’s stomach twisted. “Mom, please, my overbearing twin brother. Where is he?”

  She shook her head, gently laughing. “Xavi? You are my one and only child. Why would I need another child when I have you?”

  “Stop messing around, mom.” He could feel his voice tighten. His heart started to race. “Xander put you up to this, didn’t he? I mean you even made him toast this morning. You even made three plates of banana nut bread.”

  “Oh, I just had extra this morning and just now so I thought it’d be nice to just make a little extra.” His mom said. Her gaze softening. “Xavi, what’s going on. Did something happen at school? Because I can go talk to the teachers for you.”

  “No. Xander usually does that for me… he also makes his stupidly burnt toast in the morning.” Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. “He doesn’t really like banana nut bread either, but he makes them… for me.”

  He stumbled back, breathing hard, his head pounding. This was impossible. A world without Xander didn’t exist. The world felt muffled like a veil lay over everything softening colors and muting sound. Xavier strained to hear even a footstep or breath in the next room, but there was nothing. The faint smell of antiseptic hung in the air, cold and impersonal. It made him feel hollow, as if a part of him had been carved out and left to ache in its absence. He turned, racing out the front door and down the street, desperate for some sign, some clue that his brother was real. He ran until he felt the sting of the cold sweat covering his skin, his lungs heaving, the world distorting. The world itself seemed to warp as he passed by, streets too long, colors too pale. It was as if reality were losing resolution around him. Xavier ran faster, but the buildings blurred into meaningless smears.

  Suddenly, he was awake, and he was back in his shared room with everyone else. He was sweating, and his sheets were tangled around him. “It was just a dream… right?” His voice was barely a whisper in the silence, but the cold, antiseptic scent lingered in his memory chilling him to his core. “Xander’s fine. He has to be fine.” Xavier hated dreams. He always saw too much in them. It was hard to tell dreams from reality for him. It was still dark in the room. He could hardly see anything around. He had a bad feeling as he lay back down to rest trying not to wake anyone else up.