The first day of the pre-spring break exam period was… rough.

  Oh, not because of the lessons, or the test papers. Sure, my academic performance was less than stellar due to all the various incidents and official duties getting in the way of my studies, but I was still doing fine. I probably wasn't going make it onto the honour roll this time around, but so what? So long as my girlfriends wouldn't be ashamed of me, I was going to be fine. On the other hand…

  "It's unfair!"

  Seeing his girlfriend throwing a fit, Josh rolled his eyes and linked arms with her to keep her at bay.

  "Tone it down, silly squirrel."

  "I'm not a squirrel! And I'm not silly either!" she hissed back at him, but after some cuddling, she calmed down a little. Managing one's significant other's mood was an art in and of itself, wasn't it?

  Anyhow, the three of us were standing by the shoe lockers near the school's entrance, and while momentarily placated, the fairer half of the childhood friend duo continued to fume. And glare. Mainly at me.

  "I'm still mad at you!" she declared and pointed a finger at me, as if it wasn't abundantly clear already. "How could you leave me behind yesterday and go to the arcade without me? I was stuck at home and studying all day, thinking that Josh was undergoing some cool training montage like in the movies, but you were out having fun without me instead! I wanted to hang out too!"

  "We'll have plenty of opportunities to do that during the spring break," I told her in an attempt to placate her, but it had little effect.

  "But then we'll be training for real! Running up and down stairs and punching bags is not the same as playing!"

  "We got you the panda plushie you wanted though," Josh pointed out. "Can we catch some slack in exchange for that?"

  "Well, yeah, that was sweet of you and all, but… but…"

  Seeing that the other half of our group was coming down the stairs, I decided to put an end to this discussion by gesturing for Angie to come closer.

  "Let me tell you a secret."

  "Secret? What secret?"

  Despite her earlier tantrum, she hopped closer without any apprehensions, dragging Josh along. The guy accommodated her with a stoic expression, and once she was next to me, I leaned in and whispered directly into her ear.

  "We're not only going to train during spring break. Make sure you pack a swimsuit."

  "Hm?" Her eyes lit up at once, but then they clouded with confusion. "In this weather? Where are we going to—?"

  I put a finger in front of her lips.

  "I told you, it's a secret. Just remember that there's going to be plenty of opportunities to play."

  I could practically hear the gears grinding in her head, but then the proverbial lightbulb lit up over her noggin and she flashed a toothy grin.

  "Got it!"

  "What are you whispering about?" Judy asked as soon as she reached our side. She was followed by Elly and my sisters, and our two groups quickly blobbed together.

  "Oh, you know? Secrets, ploy, clandestine schemes and arrangements. Those kinds of things."

  "Yeah. Celestial stuff!" Angie declared with the same grin, and she was closer to hitting the nail on the head than she could've imagined.

  My dear assistant nodded in acknowledgement, while Penny in the background cocked her head to the side and whispered a confused, "Really?"

  "Nah. We're just horsing around," I told her before addressing the whole group. "I have some business to take care of, so let's meet up later."

  "It still feels so weird to have a study session without Ammy," Josh noted on the side, and his girlfriend wholeheartedly agreed.

  "Right! We really, absolutely, categorically need her brains for this operation! Especially for math!" She turned to me with pleading eyes. "Are you sure she can't come over?"

  "Lord Grandpa and the other arch-mages are super-protective of her right now. I barely managed to convince them to let her come over to the base to train, and they only allowed it so long as I vouched to keep an eye on her all the time."

  "But didn't you leave her with us the other day? When you went away with Ms Yamako?" Josh asked the inconvenient question.

  "What they don't know, can't hurt them." I tried to sound as profound as I could, but the childhood friends just squinted at me in unison, not letting it go. "It just can't be helped, okay? Bel has appeared in the Dracis mansion multiple times, so they are uncomfortable letting her come to our study meeting."

  "If that's the problem, then why don't we hold the meeting in Haven?" Snowy proposed on the spot, but the princess immediately interjected.

  "That won't do! I already told our chef in the morning that we would have guests over, so they're making homemade snacks for us."

  "Uuu… That's a toughie…" Angie groaned and pulled her arm out of Josh's grasp, only to hold her hands up like the pans of a balance scale. "Snacks, or Ammy? Ammy, or snacks? Uuu…"

  "We're going to do this every day until the end of the exam season," I pointed out a tad impatiently. "We can just invite her over tomorrow."

  Hearing that, Angie dropped her left hand and declared, "Snacks it is!"

  "Like it was ever in question," Josh quipped on the side, and it swiftly replaced the grin on his girlfriend's face with a pout.

  "What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm a glutton who cares more about sweets than friendship?"

  "No, I'm simply insinuating that your thought processes are highly economical when it comes to calorie intake," he said with a straight face, and Angie blinked in utter confusion.

  "Insinu… economical…" She suddenly let out a guttural noise and grabbed his boyfriend. "I can use big words too, you know? I'm reading way more difficult books! You're not fooling me!"

  "No, you're not! I'm reading your books too, to help you understand, dummy!"

  "I'm not a dummy! You're a dummy! You're the dummiest dummy who ever dummied!"

  While the childhood friend couple descended into yet another customary lovers' quarrel, Judy sidled up to me and tugged on my sleeve to get my attention.

  "Yes, Dormouse?"

  "Are you leaving to deal with official matters or unofficial ones? Wink, wink."

  "… Saying 'wink-wink' is not a substitute for actually winking," I pointed out, but she just continued to stare at me, waiting for my answer. "The unofficial kind."

  "Good luck with that." She glanced around and then gestured for me to lean closer. Was she doing it just to imitate Angie, I wondered. Once I did what she wanted, she whispered, "I picked a nice pair. Look forward to it."

  I blinked in surprise, which then turned into mild concern when Elly in the background gave me a thumbs up and declared, "Me too!", proving that Judy was bad at whispering. Case in point…

  "I don't get it," Penny muttered with question marks circling her head. "Do you get it?"

  "No, I don't think so," Snowy answered a touch timidly, so before they could get any more intrigued, I straightened my back and gestured for them to get moving.

  "Let's go, guys, and see you later."

  "Sure," Judy responded blandly and… she winked at me?

  As in, she closed one eye without any other muscle in her face making as much as a single twitch. It was almost impressive in its uncanniness.

  "So you can wink after all!"

  "Hush, Chief." She put a finger on my lips, and solemnly stated, "Winks are a limited resource. They should not be squandered thoughtlessly."

  "Hold on, you two," Elly interrupted us by literally wedging herself between us. "No 'skits', or whatever you call them today! The last time you got so lost in one we nearly missed dinner."

  "That was the exception, not the norm," Judy responded with just a hint of a pout but quickly relented. "You're right. See you later, Chief."

  She rose to her tip-toes, which was the universal signal that she wanted a kiss, so I planted a peck on her lips. Then did the same for the princess, because it was only fair. In the meantime, Josh and Angie resolved their argument and I waved the group goodbye before heading into a nearby restroom on the ground floor. Some things were a constant in life, such as that toilet stalls were still the most convenient spots to Phase to and from in school, and after switching to my Polemos outfit, I promptly disappeared from the campus.

  "Ah, Lord Archon!"

  The automatic door slid open less than a second after I arrived in my personal suite in Migdál Glaukós, and in walked a middle-aged Celestial woman with shoulder-length black hair. Adva Tira, the newly appointed Speaker of the new Celestial government, and an all-around weirdo who was apparently waiting outside the door for my arrival.

  "Thank you for gracing us with your presence once more!"

  She was looking at me with zealous eyes, and if not for me raising a hand to stop her, she would've genuflected to me right then and there, despite me specifically telling her not to do that. Multiple times.

  "Hello, Adva. Please tell Acacius that I arrived and I'm requesting his presence."

  "Yes, at once, O Lord Arcon! I shall inform Sumboulos Tsephanyah at once! If necessary, I'll drag him here myself!"

  "That won't be necessary. He should be expecting me." She eagerly nodded, so now that we were on the same page, I asked, "By the way, what were you doing in front of—?"

  I was too slow. Before I could finish even half of the sentence, she was already out of the room. Stifling a groan, I walked over to the sofa near the windows, sat down, and waited for Tsephanyah to show up. Oh, and that 'sumboulos' thing? Maybe it shouldn't have surprised me, but the newly formed government of Elysium insisted on giving the three ex-directors some fancy archaic titles, because 'advisor' was too plain and it was tradition and whatever. It wasn't the only such change in nomenclature, but more on that later.

  Since I explicitly told Tsephanyah that I would visit the Elysium today, I expected him to get here soon, and just like I predicted, it only took him a few short minutes to arrive.

  "Good day to you, Lord Polemos," he greeted me as he walked in with hasty steps, not even bothering to knock.

  He was wearing the same Greco-Roman toga as usual, though he was conspicuously missing the laurel crown as of late. I never bothered to ask, but if my hunch was correct and this really was his transformed Celestial form, then his 'demotion' might've had something to do with it. Today wasn't the day I would inquire about it either, as we had bigger fishes to fry.

  "I have delivered the Sumboulos, as instructed, O Lord Archon!" Adva chimed in from the back. "Do you require anything else of your humble servant?"

  I'm not going to lie, her eagerness creeped me out a bit, but she was helpful, so I smiled at her warmly and said, "No, thank you."

  "T-T-There is no need to thank me, O Great Polemos, Lord Archon, glory to your name! It was my pleasure to serve! Please, never hesitate to command your loyal servant!"

  See? Creepy.

  Anyhow, after repeatedly bowing, she finally left the room and I could focus my attention on the blonde ex-director.

  "Come, sit."

  I gestured at the other sofa around the coffee table, and I didn't have to say it twice.

  "I have not heard of any sanctioned crossing into Elysium today. Have you entered through your… unique methods?"

  "Yes. It was faster this way."

  Tsephanyah's brows furrowed deeply.

  "I'm certain you're already aware, but your manifest usage of such… illogical powers has already left a stain on your reputation."

  "I know, I know. I'm planning to hold a press conference before the end of the week to put a lid on the rumours. Send someone qualified from here to attend as well; I'm sure the members of the Congregation would also like to hear the details."

  The wrinkle between his brows grew ever deeper, and he emphatically responded, "The members of the Synderion, yes."

  I locked eyes with him, and let out a soft, mildly annoyed breath.

  "Sure, Synderion."

  His expression eased up and he smiled with satisfaction. Long story short, while I wasn't looking, the current governing body of the Elysium, formerly known as the Celestial Congregation, unanimously decided that their official title wasn't fancy and ancient Greek-y enough, and petitioned to have it changed. Since I couldn't be bothered with it, I just gave them the go, and they decided on 'synderion', which from what I could gather literally just meant 'council' or… wait for it… 'congregation'.

  More relevantly, they have used this as the foot in the door to request all the other sensible government offices and titles to be fancied up with ancient Greek and Latin terminology. Sometimes it almost felt like they were doing it just to annoy me, but then every time I approved one of these changes, they would praise me for it like I was the one who came up with the idea. If I didn't know how zealous the average Celestial was, I would've suspected there were oodles of sarcasm involved, but I digress.

  "Are you also aware of the situation unfolding in the Abyss?" he asked, and it sounded like even he thought it was just a rhetorical question.

  "Of course."

  I wasn't lying. I've been occasionally keeping an eye on what was happening down there, and it didn't look too good. Crowy went on a power-trip out of nowhere and declared himself the Herald of the Emperor, demanding that all other noble houses in the Abyss would surrender and subordinate themselves to him. More troublingly, he was doing well. Too well even, and despite being grossly outnumbered, his forces were matching the alliance of the other noble houses tit for tat, occasionally pushing them back even.

  Some of that was due to him crippling many of the stronger houses by a surprise attack right at the start of the war, but maybe the biggest contributor was the man himself. He somehow got an enormous power boost, probably from the Mana Wells, and, it took multiple other Abyssal Lords just to keep him occupied whenever he showed up in battle, which not only wreaked havoc in his adversaries' chain of command, but also wasn't good for morale.

  It was a sudden development, and while I couldn't be one hundred percent sure, it had future-me's fingerprints all over it. The whole situation looked like an enormous pain in the neck, so I hoped I knew what I was doing.

  In any case, after hearing my answer, the ex-director nodded like it was self-evident.

  "Dolion has been urging us to continue expanding the military and forming alliances with the other forces in the World of Mystics in response."

  "I know. He's been talking my ears off about it every chance he gets."

  "I imagined as much."

  He said that, but his expression said he was expecting me to give a proper response. I didn't have to, but I didn't want to make things awkward either.

  "For now, I want to adopt a cautious approach. It's obvious that Bel of the Abyss is behind these events, so I want to ascertain the level of his involvement before making any over moves."

  That mostly satisfied him and he uttered a soft, "As the Second True Archon sees fit."

  Again, under other circumstances, I would've expected that to be sarcastic, but he sounded like he absolutely meant it. Shaking away my misgivings about everyone's sincerity in this bloody pocket-dimension, I linked my fingers in my lap and sat straight.

  "Let's not beat around the bush any longer. How's the project I entrusted upon you coming along?"

  "The construction is already underway, and we've already gathered experienced operators from the CID and the military." He was referring to the Celestial Intelligence Division, the parent organisation of the Celestial Intelligence Network. Maybe due to their connection to me as Admin, but they managed to not only weather the reorganization of the government, but the renaming frenzy as well. "According to the latest estimates, everything should be completed ahead of schedule, including the additional facilities you requested."

  "Good. Anything else to report?"

  Surprisingly enough, there wasn't much. Things were proceeding smoothly on the surface, and even when someone (read: Dolion) would complain that there were more important things to worry about, when push came to shove, everyone was doing their best to bring my plans to fruition.

  I wasn't going to lie; I felt like I could get used to this. Me giving orders I thought might be unreasonable, and people jumping at the opportunity to do it and complete the task anyway. Of course, that was a slippery slope, and I didn't want to end up some kind of petty dictator, so I tempered my urges and was simply happy that things were proceeding well for once.

  We also discussed a few other topics, mostly boring political bits and pieces about the running of the new government and its growing pains. Before I knew it, two hours passed and it was high time I caught up with the rest of the gang. As such, I politely kicked Tsephanyah out of the room…

  "Lord Polemos, please listen to me! As your Sumboulos, I implore you to consider this carefully. A parade at this time would help lift the spirits of—!"

  … for a good reason.

  "No, no, and no," I growled and literally pushed the ex-director through the door. "No more parades, and that's final. Goodbye."

  I triggered the door and it closed before he could get another word in, and I let out a groan from the bottom of my lungs. Just what was it with Celestials and their obsession with parades, I wondered. One thing was for sure; I wasn't going to find it out today, and once I was alone, I changed back into my school uniform and Far Glanced at my destination. It was a quiet little nook in the Dracis neighbourhood, and the place I often used when I wanted to visit but I didn't want to Phase right into the estate.

  Once I locked in the location, I immediately disappeared from my home away from home in the Elysium and arrived at—

  "Heyo!"

  "Whattheshithewhothefuck!" I exclaimed in mind-numbing shock when someone casually addressed me from behind and turned on my heel so hard it dug into the lawn under my feet. It took my brain a few seconds to fully process what just happened, but then I automatically (and angrily) threw my arms in the air. "Bloody hell, man! Don't startle me like that! I almost punched your lights out by reflex!"

  "I know," future-me responded jovially. For once, he wasn't wearing his… our Bel costume, opting for the kind of simple street clothes and long coat I used to wear a lot in the past. He smiled at me and pointed at his feet. "That's why I'm standing over here, and not in arm's reach."

  "That… makes sense," I admitted, if grudgingly, and waited for him to step up to me. "So? What's the occasion?"

  "I'm just here to drop this off." He nonchalantly reached into his coat and handed over a pocket notebook. "Give it a good read."

  "What's this?" I opened it, and after skimming a few pages, my confusion only grew. "Seriously, what's this?"

  "A list of things I've done and will do." He sounded disinterested, almost annoyed.

  "… Do I have to memorize this to pass it down to past-me when it's my turn to do the retcon?"

  "Nah, you just have to retcon yourself already remembering it all. It's easy," he answered off-handedly and flicked the notebook in my hand. "It's just for convenience. This way, we're on the same page, and the rest of the plan would proceed more smoothly."

  "Actually, what is the plan?" I muttered as I took another look at the contents of the notebook. "Wait, I did that? I mean… will have done that? And… that too? Hold on, are you seriously telling me that we're…?"

  I wanted to glare at future-me, but he left without as much as saying goodbye. Man, what a jerk. Or… since we're the same person, am I a jerk? Maybe I should use this opportunity to self-reflect and better myself, so that—

  "No, I can't do that," I blurted out. "If I do that, I won't be a jerk in the future and that will cause a time paradox…"

  Feeling a headache coming, I pocketed the notebook, only to pause, take it out, and place it into the storage array housing Cal and Teeny instead. There was just enough free space for small objects like this, and it would be safer there. Now, where was I? Oh, right.

  "Maybe I should reflect after the retcon in the future? Or maybe I already did, and future-me's just acting this way to preserve the time-space continuum?" I pondered quietly as I started walking, but before long, I concluded it all with an exasperated, "Time travel sucks."

  A heavy ball rolled down a polished wooden lane. It wobbled a bit, then careened to the left, but before it could get dangerously close to the gutter on the side, it somehow course-corrected. The ball continued on a remarkably straight trajectory, accompanied by a characteristic rhythmic sound, ultimately hitting the pins at the end and knocking down four of them.

  "Good going, Dormouse."

  Despite my praise, my lovely assistant remained humourless as she turned to me and pointed at the screen hanging over the lane.

  "Is it?"

  "Honestly, I have no idea," I told her with an implied shrug. "I'm still not too keen on the scoring system of this game, so let's just play for fun."

  "Maybe I should ask Elly." We both glanced over to the next lane and after a long beat, she turned back to me. "Or maybe not. Let's not bother them."

  "Agreed. My turn."

  I picked up my own bowling ball and walked past Judy. This was a pretty laidback Thursday afternoon, and after some mulling over, we decided to have an outing to let off some steam. We've spent our after-school time studying for the tests during the last couple of days, either at Elly's place or at the base, so we really needed it. Or rather, the others needed it. Compared to my usual headache-primers, the exam period felt rather tame, but I digress.

  Anyhow, we had some breathing room, since we only had a single biology test left, so I took the girls out to relax a bit. We already had some plans for tomorrow afternoon, ostensibly to 'celebrate surviving the exams', as Angie would put it, and then I was going put my capital-P 'Plan' into action on the weekend, so it was now or never.

  As for why bowling? To be honest, I still wasn't one hundred percent sure whether I would make it my official hobby or not, but it ticked the boxes. It was relaxing, it wasn't too complicated, it wasn't directly competitive, and Sebastian already made me buy the yearly membership card, so I figured I might as well use it. Getting to see my girlfriends in sporty outfits and hanging out together was also a nice bonus.

  In the meantime, I scowled at the single still-standing pin at the end of the lane, took a deep breath, and tried my best to imitate the old dragon's movements. The purple ball in my hand skipped a bit upon touching the waxed wood, which told me I didn't get it quite right, but it remained on target. I watched as it neared the pin… only to then slightly go off-course, and…

  Seriously, was this on purpose? This kept happening every bloody time. Was the lane specifically designed to alter the direction of the ball mid-way somehow? Maybe. I never looked too deeply into how bowling works as a sport and its mechanics, because I was afraid that once I did that, I would unconsciously try to optimize the fun out of it. That kind of thing happened so often, I was convinced it was part of the human condition.

  But back to the ball: it veered to the side, then back, then slowed to a crawl, and ultimately gently tapped the solitary pin at the end of the lane before falling into the pit. It wobbled like a drunk flamingo for a few seconds, then agonizingly teetered on the edge of falling over before gravity finally gave it the middle finger and it fell with a hollow thud.

  "Yes! Spare!"

  "Is that good?"

  "Of course." I turned back to Judy, ready to explain, only to falter. "Or at least I think it is. I believe when this happens, you're supposed to add the score of your first roll of the next frame plus ten to the previous frame and… It's a bit convoluted."

  "I can see that." She glanced at the automated score screen and took out her phone. "Should I look it up on the internet?"

  "No. Bad idea. We're here to have fun, not to research rules. If you're that curious, ask Sebastian about it later. I'm sure he'll be happy to talk your ears off."

  "I'll consider that." She obediently put away her phone and conspicuously looked at the nearby lane. I followed her gaze, and she uttered, "Are you sure this is all right?"

  "Yeah. I see nothing wrong with this," I replied off-handedly.

  Over there, the princess was in the process of adjusting Melinda's bowling posture. She was dressed in the same light blue shirt and skirt combo as my girlfriends, and if not for her ever-present braids, I might've not even recognized her at a glance. I supposed her being a maid was just seared too deeply into my mind, and her wearing anything other than the black-and-white frilly uniform with the headdress just felt subtly wrong.

  "Like this, Milady?" she mumbled as she adjusted her shoulders.

  "Yes, but I told you that you shouldn't call me 'Milady' when you're off-duty," Elly insisted, tugging on her sports visor for emphasis. For some reason. It was one of those crownless caps that looked like a headband with a bill attached, and I had no idea why she was wearing one, since we were in-doors. I had a vague feeling that I'd seen professional tennis players wearing these on TV, so maybe it was out of habit?

  "But… it's too sudden…" Melinda continued to mumble, visibly awkward, but my draconic girlfriend barrelled on with unbridled enthusiasm.

  "Don't be silly! We've known each other for too long for being this formal, especially now!"

  The braided currently-not-maid nodded and, after taking a deep breath, she took up the starting stance and rolled her ball down the lane. It careened off track early and only managed to knock over one pin, yet the princess acted like she just hit a strike on her first try.

  "I knew it! You're a natural at this."

  "Do you think so, E-Eleanor?"

  While Elly was a bundle of sunshine, as usual, Melinda remained a bit reserved, even uncomfortable at times. It wasn't surprising, since due to the unexpected development the other day, where she tried to wedge herself into our relationship as my 'concubine' of all things, the atmosphere between the two of us remained rather frosty. It was mostly coming from her side though, and even now, she was periodically glancing at me, as if feeling guilty about hogging the princess's attention.

  "I guess Elly's just feeling guilty for not realizing Melinda's feelings before, so she's pampering her a bit."

  My absent-minded comment caused Judy to turn to me again and scrutinize my expression.

  "And you aren't worried about it," she stated blandly, and I nodded along.

  "Of course not. Those two are close enough that trying to separate them would probably cause more useless relationship drama than just letting them be."

  Also, while I didn't say it out loud, I felt like getting jealous here would've been just silly. Not only because it would be the pot calling the kettle black, with me being in a poly-relationship and all, but because Melinda's little stunt (or rather, the resolution she reached with the princess afterwards) landed her so deep in 'sister-zoned' territory, I doubted she would ever get out of it.

  I figured she would be unsatisfied with that arrangement, but by the looks of it, she was just happy to have Elly's attention. I couldn't be entirely sure this whole hubbub was fully resolved yet, but Elly was having fun, Melinda was behaving herself, and I only had to put up with some awkward sneak peeks and apologetic glances. In conclusion, I considered the side-plot officially 'under control'.

  "A fair point, but I still feel like this is a betrayal of our anti-harem principles," Judy grumbled, so I poked the spot between her eyebrows with a grin.

  "Don't overthink it, or you'll get wrinkles."

  "I'm not, and I won't. I'm planning to always stay young in heart, and since the world is illusory, it means wrinkles are meaningless too."

  "No philosophizing about the nature of reality either," I scolded her by poking her a few more times. "We're here to relax, remember?"

  Judy gave me a deadpan stare, but then side-stepped my extended finger and picked up a ball from the return mechanism.

  "Fine. I'll adopt a 'wait and see' approach as well."

  She was just about to make her roll but was halted by Elly skipping to our side.

  "How are you doing over here?" She looked up at the scoreboard and flashed a grin at me. "Wow! You hit a spare! You're really getting good at this!"

  "Thanks, I'm trying."

  "And Judy is…" There was an awkward pause, followed by, "Everyone was a beginner once!"

  "Chief, I think she's making fun of me. Can I kick her?"

  "No. Also, why kicking?"

  "My hands are occupied," she stated flatly, then as if just realizing something, she turned on her heel and tossed the ball onto the lane. "Now, they aren't occupied, so I can poke her, pinch her, or put her in a choke hold. Which one would you—?"

  We never get to hear the end of the sentence, as there was a loud clatter, followed by a jaunty tune from the screen over our head announcing a strike. We both looked at it, then our attention shifted to the empty spot at the end of the lane.

  "And that's beginner's luck!" Elly proclaimed with a silly grin.

  "Chief, she's definitely picking a fight right now. Can I hit her with a Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Suplex?"

  "Wasn't that a cannon?"

  Judy gave me a disappointed look and clicked her tongue.

  "Chief, you ruined the reference."

  "No, I didn't. Nobody was going to get it anyway."

  "What's a 'Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon'?"

  Elly's question was reasonable, yet barely audible, as she was hiding behind my back. I glanced over, and seeing that she still had question marks floating over her head, I faced Judy and pointed a thumb over my shoulder at the girl behind me with a deadpan, "Case in point."

  "No, really. What is it?" Elly asked again, sounding half curious and half wary.

  "I'll tell you when you're older," Judy stated solemnly, and it was now Elly's turn to look at me for support.

  "Leo! Judy's teasing me! Do something!"

  "How about you both take a step back and ease off a bit?" I proposed, but they didn't listen. At a time like this, the safest way to defuse the situation was to change the topic, and I quickly found a suitable candidate. "More importantly, where's Melinda?"

  "She needed to use the toilet," Elly replied matter-of-factly.

  "Alone? Don't girls go to the toilet together all the time?"

  "Chief, that's a stereotype. Don't be an -ist."

  "What '-ist'? 'Confused about female toilet etiquetteist'?"

  "Oh no, you didn't," Judy uttered in mock horror. "Now you've done it, Chief. I'm deeply disappointed."

  "Hi, deeply disappointed. I'm Leo," I responded cheerfully, and while Judy didn't appreciate my jest, Elly let out a soft giggle.

  "Hehe. Dad used to do that a lot when I was little."

  "Aren't you a bit too young for dad jokes," Judy griped with a hand on her hip. "At least wait until we have kids."

  "It never hurts to get started early. I've been collecting these so that I'll have one for every occasion. For example, do you know who are the best bowlers?" There was a long beat, during which Judy braced herself. "The ones with talent to spare." Another beat later, Elly let out a giggle, Judy rolled her eyes, and I declared, "I can do this all day!"

  "You see, Chief? This is why people have a hard time taking what you say at face value. For all we know, you could really be collecting dad jokes, or maybe that is a joke in and of itself." She shook her head with a sigh and folded her arms. "Just like what happened at the press conference."

  "What?" I blurted out in genuine surprise. "I thought it was a smashing success."

  I held that one last evening, after much preparations, and it included representatives from both the Federation, the Assembly, the Celestials, and even some minor parties. There were apparently a bunch of the latter out there; small organizations and families with mystical heritages that didn't belong to any of the big supernatural superpowers. Kind of like the Kage clan before they attached themselves to me, now that I thought about it.

  More importantly, I had no idea what Judy was insinuating.

  Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  "Seriously, it was fine. I told everyone about the 'limits' of my powers, the Bel situation, the Elysium being dedicated to upholding the masquerade in the future, I answered all their questions, and there were no interruptions or stampedes. It was so straightforward it was borderline boring."

  "That already shows that you still don't understand how impactful your statements can be," my dear assistant continued to lecture me with just a hint of a frown (which was the equivalent of a major frown by Judy-standards). "Next time, let me write your script."

  "Script? I didn't have one. I just responded naturally."

  "… All the more reason to let me write it the next time," she insisted, and after locking gazes for a while, I decided to be the bigger man and gave in.

  "Oh, fine," I huffed and pointedly averted my eyes. "I make one little joke in public, and you act like it's the end of the world."

  "You know…" Elly chimed in, no longer hiding behind me, "… you did tell them that if they want to break the rules, they should make their wills first because you're a busy man and can't wait for them to write them on the spot."

  "Yes, that was the joke," I reiterated. "A bit of black humour to ease the mood. I even winked at the end, to show I wasn't entirely serious."

  "'Entirely', Chief. That's the keyword. Those representatives have no way to tell which part was supposed to be the joke." A beat later, Judy whispered, "Now that I think about it, even I'm not sure." Shaking her head, she looked back at me and emphasized, "Either way, it wasn't funny."

  "Ouch, Dormouse. That hurt."

  It was around this time that Melinda returned from the restroom, looking slightly less awkward than before.

  "I have refreshed myself and am ready to continue." When she didn't get an immediate response, she looked at each of us in turn and automatically adopted the same posture she used when she was on duty. "Oh? Am I interrupting?"

  "Nah, it's nothing major," I told her maybe a tad dismissively. "We're just in a disagreement over whether or not I'm funny."

  "Chief, I can't help but feel that you're focusing on the wrong part of the conversation."

  "No, Dormouse. I get it. I have to put in more effort, so before the end of the week, I'll make it my goal to memorize two hundred dad jokes, so that I will never be caught unfunny ever again."

  "Those aren't exactly the pinnacle of comedy," Judy pointed out, and I've got unexpected support from the side.

  "Why?" The princess asked, sounding genuinely confounded by my other girlfriend's statement. "I think they're funny."

  "Elly, you're not helping," Judy tried to argue back, but momentum was on my side.

  "Thank you. I solemnly swear that henceforth I will strive for dad-joke excellence."

  "Oh no. What have I wrought…?" my lovely assistant exclaimed in mock horror, Elly only grinned, while Melinda…

  "Ah. It appears everything is the same as usual." She paused, and after taking a look at the bowling balls and the lanes, she addressed the princess in particular. "Milady? Should we continue?"

  "I told you to call me Elly, and…" She hesitated for a moment and sent a meaningful glance at the food court. "I'm getting a little bit hungry. Should we eat something first?"

  "I'm game."

  "I'm also peckish," Judy answered next, while Melinda just nodded along.

  "All right! Let's try a new pizza today!" Elly exclaimed and pointed us towards the food court. "What should we order?"

  "I don't know. I'm personally a little ambivalent about pizzas," I mused as we started walking. "On the upside, I admit they have some great toppings. On the downside, they don't."

  There was a long beat, and then Judy let out a soft groan, while Elly exclaimed a quiet, 'Ah, I get it!', leaving only Melinda in the dark.

  "I told you I can do this all day," I grinned and graciously ignored Judy trying to poke me with her elbow.

  Seriously though, that was the last dad-joke for the day. As fun as it was to tease my lovely Dormouse, I didn't want to ruin the mood. It was rare for us to just kick back like this, so I wanted to let everyone relax in peace. I hoped that once we ran out of bad guys, coming up one after the other in a neat row as if waiting for their turn to get a swing at me, peaceful days like this would become the norm. Or at the very least there wouldn't be any more punchlines.

  …

  Okay, I swear, that was the last one. Scout's honour.

  "Victory is ours! Let our children, and our children's children, know that this is the day upon which we successfully fought emerged in triumph! Our hard work and tireless preparations weren't in vain! In the words of the great Julius Caesar, we veni, we vidi, and then we… um…"

  It was at this point that the Celestial girl, brandishing a small pastry fork like it was a royal sceptre, faltered and hurriedly whispered to the guy on her left.

  "Josh, support!"

  "What?" Joshua looked up from his cake with a confused expression. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

  "Boo! How can you not pay attention at a time like this!?"

  "Vici," Judy supplied the answer from my side. "The word you're looking for is 'vici'."

  "Right, that one!" Angie flashed a grin and raised her fork into the air again, only to then freeze and let it back down with a disappointed moan. "Mou… What's the point? The heat of the moment is all gone."

  "For the record, it wasn't terrible for an impromptu speech," I commented even as I was wiping some whipped cream off my princess's nose. How she always managed to get something on there was a mystery, but it was cute, so I didn't mind. Once I balled up the napkin and threw it into a nearby bin, I turned to Angie again. "Just make sure you don't flub the end of it when you'll have to do it in front of a real crowd."

  "Don't worry. Grandpa Deus said he'll take care of those things," she replied with a grin.

  Meanwhile, my sisters finished browsing the menu and Snowy let out a troubled sound.

  "Should we buy something for Amelia too? It feels wrong to do this without her."

  "Good thinking." I raised a hand to get the attention of the gang. "Does anyone know what the class rep's favourite dessert is?"

  "Cheesecake"/"Strawberry shortcake."

  The childhood friend couple responded at once, and after a long beat, they frowned at each other in unison.

  "What are you talking about? Ammy always liked cheesecake."

  "What? No!" Angie protested with altogether too much outrage. "She always eats strawberry shortcakes!"

  "When's that 'always'?"

  "Whenever we eat sweets, duh?"

  "Then how come I've never seen her eat any, but she always eats cheesecake in the school cafeteria?"

  "Nonsense! She loves strawberries, I tell you!"

  While the two of them descended into another of their little spats, I couldn't help but smile. I liked it when the atmosphere was relaxed like this, and even though we were in public, I didn't bother to put an end to the unfolding argument. In a way, that was also part of why this situation felt so nostalgic, so it would've been a shame to interrupt it.

  It was Friday afternoon. The last school day before the spring break and the end of the week-long exam period, and it showed on everyone's faces around the table. We were currently sitting inside one of Angie's many 'favourite confectioneries' in the fancy old-town part of Timaeus. The shop was decorated to look like a 50s diner, complete with the checker-board floor, retro red-and-white furniture, and it even had a jukebox next to the counter. It was only there for decoration though, unfortunately.

  Despite the old-fashioned ambience, this was a pretty upscale establishment, with prices to match. I couldn't argue with the quality of the food though, and since this was a special occasion to 'celebrate', I figured it was fine to spend an extra Jen or fifty for the novelty every once in a while. Not only that, but for once I wasn't the one paying the bill, since the Celestial girl graciously volunteered to take care of it.

  I was occupying one side of the large square table side with Elly, Josh and Angie were sitting opposite to me, while my sisters were occupying the right side. By process of elimination, Judy was on my left, having that whole side for herself, and I had to admit that the vacant seat next to her did feel a bit too empty. Let's just hope that once the class rep's floaty orb business was resolved, we'd have the opportunity to sit down like this once again.

  Not that our little gang wouldn't have lots of opportunities to spend time together in the coming days, but this was one thing, and that was another one entirely. Sharing a table with everyone and eating sweets like this was a tradition, and one I was hoping to keep alive as long as possible.

  "Strawberry cheesecake!"

  "… Excuse me?" I blurted out in surprise, my eyes automatically moving back to the childhood friend couple.

  "Grandpa Deus told me that squabbling about something so insignificant is unbecoming of me, so we came to a compromise," Angie explained with a perfect poker face. "Like responsible adults."

  "Where?" Josh asked, raising his hand over his eyes and looking around, causing his girlfriend's expression to crack.

  "Oh, that's it, mister! You're sooo getting shot in the butt during the training trip!"

  "S-Speaking of which," Snow interjected to change the topic before the two could get into another argument and raised a hand over her head. "When are we leaving?"

  "Tomorrow afternoon, at two sharp," Judy responded in my stead between bites from her fancy chocolate cake.

  "Yes! I'm so pumped!" Penny chimed in next, and true to her words, she looked pretty enthusiastic. Maybe too much, even. "It's been ages since the last time we had a training camp! And this time, it's not just the Squires, but the whole family!"

  "Um… Right…" Snowy nodded a tad uncertainly and subtly glanced my way. That told me she was unsure about something.

  "Speak your mind, sis."

  "I… um… We're going to leave the city for more than a week, right?"

  "That's the plan."

  "I know we talked about this, but I'm worried about Tajana, and…"

  "Sorry, but I have to stop you there," I cut her off with a raised palm. "The number of people coming to this trip has already ballooned way beyond my original plans, so we can't take her too." Snowy looked down, so I quickly added, "Don't worry too much. We bought her that DVD box set to keep her busy, didn't we? And I told the Fauns and Roland to keep an eye on her, so nothing should happen to her."

  "I know, just…"

  "If it's Uncle Roland, then it's fine!" Penny tried to reassure her by rubbing her back. "If Brother says so, then everything's going to be okay. He's usually always right."

  That was a bit of a contradiction, but before I could point it out, Elly let out an amused giggle, causing my knightly sister to double down, as if she just said something profound. I didn't argue with her, mainly because my attention was drawn to Josh.

  "Now that you mention it, how many of us are going on this training trip, anyway?"

  "There's us, which makes…" Angie quickly pointed at us one by one. "Eight, including Ammy."

  "Then there's our… um… parents."

  Snowy was still a bit hesitant about calling Morgana and Arnwald that, but just the fact that she could do so in public meant our little family project was proceeding rather smoothly. In retrospect, it was a shame I wasn't the one who came up with the idea, and instead, it was forced onto us by Savir's machinations, but what can you do? In fact, should I thank her for it the next time we meet?

  …

  Nah. If I did that, she would just get emboldened by it, and that was the last thing I wanted, now that she finally settled down and started conspiring all the time. As a matter of fact, it was probably best I kept her as far away from our little group as possible to make sure she wouldn't get up to any aggravating shenanigans.

  "That's ten," Angie continued to count, showing off all her fingers. Seeing that, Elly also raised her hand.

  "My mom and dad are coming too."

  "Okay, twelve then," the Celestial girl muttered, and bumped her boyfriend with her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and after a few vague gestures and brow-wriggles, he let out a resigned sigh and put two fingers next to Angie's ten. "Yes, twelve!"

  "My parents are also coming," Judy chimed in next, followed by a wide yawn she was a bit late to cover up. "Sorry. I haven't slept much in the past few days."

  "Yeah, the exam season is the worst."

  Angie's voice was full of sympathy, and while at first it seemed like Judy was going to correct her mistaken assumption, she ultimately didn't do so. Maybe because in the meantime Josh's brows descended into a frown.

  "Okay, time out. I get why Dame Morgana and Sir Arnwald are coming along. We'll need them to help us train and whatever. I guess Elly's parents could help too, but what are Judy's mom and dad going to do?"

  "You'll see," I answered mysteriously, and while he obviously wasn't satisfied with my answer, he soon relented.

  Though not before sending me a look that said 'I know that you're up to something, and you know I know you're up to something, and now I know you know I know you're up to something, so watch it.', or something to that effect. It was quite astonishing how much a few simple looks could communicate between friends, wasn't it?

  It didn't last long though, as he was once again bumped by Angie, and so he had to extend four fingers with just a hint of exasperation.

  "I also arranged for Mr Walker to come with us," I added, and while the guy automatically extended one more finger, he also cocked his head to the side.

  "Him too? Why?"

  "To look after Amelia," Judy answered just as she finished up her cake, and after pondering for a few seconds (whether it was about the topic at hand, or to order seconds, I couldn't tell), she amended, "Also, he's going to be there in case there's a diplomatic incident."

  "Judy!" the princess hissed. "Now you're the one jinxing it!"

  "Wait, why would there be a diplomatic incident," Josh blurted out as if any other kind of incident was much more reasonable and narrowed his eyes at me. "Where exactly are we going?"

  "It's a surprise," I told him with a not-at-all cheeky grin.

  Before he could grill me any further though, Angie clapped and declared, "So, fifteen in total! That's almost as many as we had during the trip to the hot springs!" Her eyes lit up (not literally; I felt like it was important to point that out) with realization and she clapped again. "Wait! Are we going there again? That would explain the…"

  I hurriedly put a finger in front of my lips, and she just as quickly covered hers.

  "Explain the what?" Josh levelled a suspicious gaze at his girlfriend, and then at me. "Seriously, what are you not telling us?"

  "Don't worry, pal. It's nothing nefarious," I reassured him, but it somehow had the opposite effect.

  "Is this another one of those 'Plan E' situations?"

  "Nah, it's not that complicated. I just really want to make this a surprise," I answered honestly. "I've been working on this for a while, you know? I don't want to ruin everything at the last second."

  In no particular order, Josh harrumphed, Angie giggled, Judy subtly rolled her eyes, while my sisters remained wholly confused. As for Elly, she was tuned out of the conversation because she was busy browsing the menu. Bless her heart.

  "Fine, let's just skim over the topic then," Josh grumbled and crossed his arms. "So, just to summarize: Tomorrow, at two in the afternoon, at New Camelot."

  "Haven," Penny interjected, but the guy summarily dismissed her.

  "Whatever. The base. Do we need to bring anything?"

  "Just yourself," I answered flippantly. "I already took care of the lodgings, the equipment, as well as the clothes, so just bring your toiletry and whatever else you want."

  "Game console?" Angie asked right away, and my Knightly sister perked up at once.

  "Portable?"

  "Yeah," she nodded, and they both turned inquisitive eyes at me.

  "Charging the batteries might be a bit tricky," I admitted, and it made Josh click his tongue.

  "Okay, so it's not the hot springs. They had proper electrical outlets." After saying that, he mused for a while before proposing, "Five Jens on us going to some remote rainforest in the middle of Peru or something."

  "Why Peru?"

  Hearing Agnie's question, the guy shrugged.

  "It sounds like something Leo would do."

  "My money is on an uninhabited island," the Celestial girl proposed. "It makes perfect sense, and there's circumstantial evidence for it."

  "But if it's uninhabited, then how could there be a diplomatic incident?" Snowy commented, and it caused the childhood friend couple to re-evaluate their options.

  I just chuckled meaningfully and enjoyed the company. I couldn't wait to see their expressions tomorrow, but first…

  "Leo? Hey, Leo?" Elly called out to me and pulled me over to take a look at the menu. "What's a key lime pie."

  "Don't know, never had it."

  "It's a meme," Judy chimed in on the side.

  "What's it about?"

  "I'm… not entirely sure," she admitted, and my draconic girlfriend let out a soft hum.

  "In that case…" She raised a hand over her head and flagged down a waiter. "Three servings of key lime pie, please!"

  "Wait, for me too?" my other girlfriend spoke in alarm and pointed at her plate. "This is already my second serving."

  "Don't worry. I have on good authority that girls have a second stomach for sweets," I jested, but Judy responded one hundred percent seriously.

  "Sorry Chief, but mine only works for sandwiches."

  "We'll make it work!" Elly declared with gusto, and I couldn't help but lean back in my seat and drink in the atmosphere.

  I wished my life could be peaceful like this all the time… but it couldn't be, because we needed 'drama'. Not today though, so I felt content with just hanging out, relaxing, and getting to the bottom of this whole 'key lime pie' mystery.

  This particular morning in the Dunning household had been hectic, to put it mildly, and it wasn't until our time of departure was just around the corner that things finally calmed down a bit. Morgana and Arnwald had been up and about since the break of dawn, taking care of outstanding paperwork and instructing the other officials at the Draconic Federation on how to proceed with the office work in their absence. They came back home just a few minutes ago, and now the two of them were patiently waiting for Penny to finish packing.

  I'd already done that, and so did Snowy, but my other sister was a bit of a scatterbrain as usual. Despite the fact I had very clearly explained to her that she didn't need to bring much baggage, she still ended up overpreparing, and so she now had to trim her luggage down to just two duffel bags. On the flip side, my Abyssal sister had other things to take care of before we left.

  "… and make sure that if Noir tries to contact you, stay away from him and inform the Fauns."

  "My Lady, please. I'm not a child. I can take care of myself," Tajana, dressed just a bit more formally than usual, insisted. The two of them were standing near the door leading to the kitchen, with Snowy already carrying her backpack.

  "I know. I trust you."

  "My Lady…"

  The two of them shared a moment… for a grand total of two seconds until my sister turned to the man also idling near the kitchen.

  "Sir Roland? Please look after her while we're away."

  "My Lady! You don't trust me at all!"

  Ignoring her outburst, Roland narrowed his eyes.

  "How come I'm always being delegated to be her babysitter?"

  "You're the only one I can entrust with her," Snowy insisted, and Sir Griffon raised a palm.

  "Fine. I understand. I'll keep an eye on her, as usual."

  "Uuu… Why is everyone treating me like I'm a child…?"

  Disregarding the moping spymaster, Snowy's face lit up when Penny returned to the living room, this time only carrying two bags.

  "Are you ready?"

  "Yeah, I'm good!" She declared and lugged the bags over to the couch, where Arnwald was sitting. "I couldn't fit my winter-proof sleeping bag in, so I really hope the nights won't be too cold."

  Approaching her from behind, I put a hand on her head and rubbed it vigorously, much to her surprise and chagrin.

  "Just how many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to worry about things like that?"

  "A-A-Awawawaaa! B-Brother, stop it!"

  She threw off my hand and retreated to the other side of the sofa, much to the amusement of Morgana, who was watching over us with the kind of motherly eyes that perfectly fit her new identity in our hodgepodge family.

  "And why do you even have winter sleeping bags at all?"

  "A girl has to be prepared for everything! And it was on sale," she told me, and when I raised a skeptical brow at that, she stuck her tongue out at me. She must've been in her rebellious phase or something.

  "Penelope, don't fight with your brother."

  "But mom!" Penny whined, and I was both surprised and a bit happy to see that the way she called Morgana was getting more natural by the day.

  "Since Penny's got her things together, are we ready to head out?" I asked, and Arnwald rose from the sofa in response.

  "Affirmative."

  Morgana looked at him with just a hit of 'Oh, you!', and also stood up with a much less rigid, "What he means is that we're good to go."

  "What about Judy and the others?" Snowy asked, and I was honestly surprised by the question.

  "We'll meet them at the base. I asked Abram to pick up the whole Sennoma family on the way to streamline things. Didn't I already tell you about this yesterday?"

  "M-Maybe?" my Abyssal sister stammered. "Sorry, I think it slipped my mind, and… um…" She glanced at my other sister and sheepishly added. "Penny didn't let me sleep last night, so I'm not in my top condition."

  "H-Hauu!" The redhead girl exclaimed and rushed over to her side, desperate to silence her. "S-S-Snowy, you can't say that! They'll misunderstand!"

  "Misunderstand what?" I asked innocently, but if anything, it only made her redouble her efforts to cover Snowy's mouth.

  "Nothing! We didn't do anything strange last night! Everybody got that? Good! Nothing to see here!"

  Shaking my head, I couldn't help but say, "You know, kiddo, when you're acting like that, you're practically inviting people to have contrived misunderstandings."

  "Ah…" She paused, and then her shoulders drooped. "Oh, no. Brother already has that look."

  Even though she looked thoroughly perplexed, Snowy still managed to squeeze out, "What look?"

  "You know? That look. The kind that says that he'll use this to tease me later."

  "And now you're just being paranoid," I spoke with my calmest, innocentest voice and waved my hand. "How about we get back to this later, and head out first?"

  "No, don't get back to this!" Penny moaned, but the rest of the family simply gathered around me with their bags in tow, so she was forced to follow suit.

  "Stay safe, Tajana."

  "No, My Lady! You stay safe!"

  My sister said her farewells to our freeloader, we shared a polite nod with Roland, and after everyone was ready, I wrapped them up in my phantom limbs. Since the cat was already out of the bag, there was no reason to waste time by individually Phasing everyone over via the teleport closet, and a blink of an eye later we were all in the reception room of the base.

  "I still can't quite get used to this," Arnwald griped, looking a bit unsteady. "It just feels… wrong."

  "It's all right dear."

  As we recently discovered, Phasing with me gave seasickness to him, so he lagged behind to catch his breath while Morgana patted his back. On the flip side, Penny was already opening the door to the main hall, with Snowy in tow, and while they were trying to act normal, I could tell they were hyped about the trip. Let's hope it won't disappoint.

  We didn't agree on an exact meeting spot beyond 'in the base', but everyone naturally gravitated towards the lounge area, and looking at the group from a distance, I had to admit I was feeling a pang of concern. When I originally started planning this excursion, it was only for our core group. The gang. The 'old guard'. Just me, Josh, my girlfriends, sisters, Angie, and Ammy, like in the good old times.

  Then I kept adding people to the list one after the other, because why not, and now…

  "I'm really looking forward to this!" Dad-in-law declared loudly, and Judy's father nodded along with solemn dignity unbefitting of him dressed like a stereotypical tourist. Not that Abram was any better, which told me the not-exactly-well-kept secret location of our destination was already out of the bag.

  "I have to admit, I feel a little overwhelmed," Judy's mom said in a low voice, but Emese only smiled at her with an expression that said 'You'll get used to it'.

  "Like, when are we leaving? I'm totally stoked!" a certain brown ex-arch-mage exclaimed, clad in light and colourful clothes that immediately brought the words 'gyaru fashion' to mind, and the considerably more conservatively dressed armband guy behind her exhaled an exhausted sigh.

  "Please refrain from shouting indoors."

  "Listen to him, Sahi," Lord Barnabas chimed in, wearing his usual suit-and-cape ensemble with regal poise. "We're going to represent the Assembly, so you must always remember to retain your dignity."

  "Yes, yes. Like, I get it. Don't be such a…" Her grumbles were cut short when she noticed our approach and she waved over her head. "Look! They're totally here! Finally!"

  The arch-mage and the homunculus boy shared a look of subtle solidarity and sighed in unison. Meanwhile, not too far from them, the trio of Josh, Angie, and the class rep all looked just a bit apprehensive.

  "Is it just me, or it's getting a bit crowded?" the guy mused, and the two girls nodded more or less in unison.

  "I didn't know those two were coming," Angie noted as she subtly gestured towards Sahi and Pascal.

  "They volunteered to be my bodyguards." Ammy's voice was filled with trepidation while she morosely readjusted her glasses. "Or rather, I think she just wanted to come along to play, and Pascal is coming to keep her in check."

  Josh let out a grunt and looked over the crowd.

  "You know, when we made the headcount the other day, it didn't feel that much, but looking at it now… are we going to be okay?"

  "Okay with what?" Angie blurted out, and after being stumped for a second, the guy weakly shrugged.

  "I dunno. It's just that… this is supposed to be a training camp, right?"

  "Among other things," I commented just as we reached their side. "Hi, guys. Is everyone ready?"

  "Yeah, more or less," Josh responded on autopilot, but then immediately veered back to the previous topic. "Seriously though. Isn't this a bit too much?"

  "Honestly, a bit, but it's fine," I told him with a careless wave of my hand. "I made my preparations with the unexpected in mind, so we can accommodate a few extras. It's going to be fine."

  "That wasn't what I…" he griped, but fell silent when my girlfriends arrived from the direction of the bar.

  "Hi, Chief." Judy's greeting was a bit unenthusiastic, and when I raised a brow at it, she explained, "It's nothing. We needed to remove ourselves from the conversation until now."

  "Care to elaborate?"

  "No."

  That was blunt, but the princess didn't get the memo, and she told me, "Mom and Judy's mom were sharing anecdotes, and it got embarrassing."

  "Anecdotes?" I echoed, my curiosity suddenly piqued. "What kind?"

  "Oh, you know…" Elly muttered, unsure if she should properly answer. "Like that, she thought that secret bases were only a thing in movies, or that Judy used made pillow forts instead of something like this…"

  "Elly, stop," my dear assistant hissed, but it was too late.

  "Wait. Hold on for just a moment. Dormouse? You built pillow forts as a kid?"

  "No, I didn't. It's retroactive continuity filling in my backstory, and I do not endorse such things," she fumed, and I had a hard time deciding if she was serious or not. But still…

  "Huh. Now I'm imagining a tiny Judy playing with pillows. Isn't that just too cute?"

  My girlfriend let out a shallow groan and glared at my other girlfriend.

  "You'll pay for this."

  "W-What?" Elly stammered, so before things could escalate, I reached out and ruffled Judy's hair.

  "Easy there, Dormouse. No need to be so dramatic over something like this."

  "I'll consult my lawyer about whether this is actionable on grounds for defamation, and then we'll see about dramatic," she continued to gripe, causing the princess to get even more flustered.

  "Don't be so grumpy."

  For extra emphasis, I pulled her into a hug, and she soon calmed down.

  "I'm not grumpy, just sleep-deprived," she answered in her usual deadpan tone, and I was just about to tell her I'd heard that excuse today already when we were interrupted by Ammy clearing her throat.

  "Yes, we all know you three get along well, but can we move out?"

  It was unusual for the class rep to be this impatient, but I could understand her to a degree. She'd been under a lot of pressure as of late, and there were some other extraneous issues she had to deal with on top of that, so I didn't question her and silently skimmed over our group. Arnwald and Morgana had caught up with us and were already making small talk with the other parents, while my sisters were in the company of Sahi and discussing her choice of fashion.

  Speaking of which, it was really easy to tell who was already spoiled about the details of our trip, because they were the lightly dressed ones with minimal luggage. It didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, but at this point I felt that I should've just let the cat out of the bag yesterday so that everyone would be on the same page. Oh well. Insert idiom about lamenting splattered dairy products here.

  Much more importantly, since we were all gathered, I saw no reason to waste time here when there was so much to do and see. That said, the time of our departure wasn't entirely up to me, but my collaborators were anything if not punctual, and seeing that it was almost two in the afternoon already, I figured I should get everyone ready.

  "All right! Please, listen closely!" I called out, raising a hand high over my head, and the small talk quickly died down with everyone focusing their attention my way. "We'll leave in a few minutes, so here are a few ground rules: until everyone's familiar with the surroundings, stay together and follow instructions."

  "Is there any danger?" Josh inquired.

  "No, nothing of the sort," I responded with a shake of my head. "I just don't want any of you to get lost and mess up the schedule.

  "We have a schedule?" came the next question, this time from Penny.

  "Kind of. I wasn't planning to, but they insisted, and… you'll see. For now, gather over this side, and we'll leave in a minute or two."

  There were some curious glances thrown around, obviously looking for our mode of transportation. Others focused on me, probably expecting that we would Phase over. None of them were on the right track.

  I, on the other hand, looked at the spot at the edge of the lounge area, where a rather sizable yet indistinct spot on the fabric of space was slowly churning and swirling without anyone else noticing.

  Then, just as some of us (read: Sahi) were getting impatient, it reached the end of its invisible countdown and, much to everyone's surprise, a large portal opened right then and there. Of course, some were more shocked than others. Judy's family, for example, were still acclimating to the supernatural, while the arch-mage looked the most alarmed by the sudden development.

  "Here we go. Josh, Angie, come to the front with me. The rest, follow after us."

  Nods all around, the childhood friend couple soon caught up with me and the three of us crossed the threshold first. While the base was well-lit, the sudden sunlight still caught me a bit off-guard and I had to shield my eyes. I wasn't the only one, as Angie also put a hand over her forehead.

  "Wait… Are we in…?"

  "Welcome, to Archon Point," I spoke with just a hint of a grin, and as the rest of our group arrived, I was rewarded with a series of startled, amazed, and in some cases stupefied gasps.

  "No way…" Ammy whispered in a daze, but she recovered quickly and tweaked her glasses at me. "Leo! We just talked about this the other day! How is there a… I mean… What even is this?"

  She gestured at the large paved-over field around us, with multiple open portals operated by Celestials carrying those fancy multi-instruments around their necks. There were only piles of containers and building materials around them, so not much to see. Other than a small delegation already waiting for us, that is. This time around we didn't have any trumpets or red carpets, so at least they were learning.

  "Wow! We totally are in Elysium, aren't we?" Sahi exclaimed, while Lord Barnabas only let out a thoughtful hum.

  "I never thought I would have the opportunity to visit this land in my lifetime…"

  "Look, honey! There are flying people over there!" Judy's mom tugged on her husband's arm, and credit where credit's due, the man took it all in with seasoned stoicism.

  "We really are in a different world, aren't we?"

  "Leo! Answer the question!" Ammy demanded, sliding into my field of vision again, so I raised a hand to stall her.

  "Easy there. First, give me a second." I walked over to the group of Celestials waiting for us. I didn't want to make a huge deal out of this, so they were mostly normal folk with a few mid-ranking officials among them, all dressed rather sensibly. None of the overblown togas and fanfare and all that stuff. "Is everything prepared?"

  "Yes, O Lord Archon!" the man at the front greeted me with fervorous reverence and nearly kneeled until another man behind him pulled him back up. That guy apparently had slightly more common sense. I made sure to memorize his face in order to give him a raise later. Meanwhile, the first man awkwardly straightened his outfit and gestured towards the building at the far end of the paved area. "Your carriages are waiting for you and our esteemed guests."

  "Thank you. Where's my aide?"

  As if waiting for just that, I noticed a commotion in the back, followed by a series of apologies.

  "Sorry, coming through! Please excuse me, but it's urgent that I…!"

  "Mike?" Ammy blurted out in surprise when the guy's blonde mug came to the forefront, and he beamed at his girlfriend.

  "Amelia!" It took him a long second to realize where he was, and he hurriedly cleared his throat. "I-I mean, welcome, Lord Archon! Please, excuse my tardiness, but there was a situation, and…"

  "Calm down. Is everything ready?"

  Michael straightened his back and nodded.

  "Yes! I made sure everything was up to your specifications!"

  "Good man." I patted him on the shoulder and then grabbed onto it and pulled him towards the class rep. "You're dismissed for the day, so go ahead and relax a bit."

  "I-I wouldn't dare, but if you insist, very well, thank you…" he sputtered in quick succession and then immediately skipped over to Ammy's side, where they started whispering between each other.

  I turned to the rest of the Celestials.

  "I'll take it from here. You're also dismissed, and thank you for your hard work."

  Simple words, yet they somehow still made their expressions light up with pride. While some stragglers still wanted to guide us around, I managed to quickly shoo them away and return to our group.

  "… that's why I couldn't reach you for days? You could've told me!" Ammy pouted, and Mike awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.

  "S-Sorry honeybee. Leonard said it was supposed to be a surprise, so I couldn't say anything."

  "So it's your fault!" Ammy turned to me next, still pouting. "And you still haven't explained anything!"

  "I know, I know. Why don't you just relax and take in the sights like the rest?" I gestured at the parent group already taking photos, then Josh and Angie pointing at a tower in a distance while explaining it to my sisters, and she soon let out an ambivalent hum. "See? Nothing to stress about. I'll explain the rest while we walk."

  True to my word, I started moving at once, and our group hurriedly formed up around me. This time we didn't walk in line, but more of an indistinct blob with me in the middle, probably so that everyone could hear me.

  "As I said, this is Archon Point, the world's first portal-based logistics center." I swept my arm across the mostly empty plaza, with only construction crews and materials all around, and belatedly added, "It's not much to see yet, but give it a few weeks, and it'll be quite the sight."

  "So it's just as I feared…" Ammy muttered, her arm already locked with Michael's and sounding just as grumpy as before. "Listen, Leo. When I told you that you should seriously consider the ramifications of teleporting and portals, this wasn’t what I meant."

  "To be fair, construction was already underway by the time we talked," I pointed out, but it did little to lift her mood. "Also, I'm still working on the transit system. Rails are a no-go, because it's hard to line up the portals perfectly so that there's no gap, and derailing is bad even when portals aren't involved. Right now, I'm thinking about some kind of catapult system, and…"

  "That's beside the point!" Ammy fumed, and I just realized that her floating orbs were reacting to her mood and were also furiously shaking as they circled her head. How novel.

  "Indeed. There are more important things to discuss," Lord Barnabas chimed in and came to the forefront. "Are you saying that once completed, this…"

  "Portalport," Judy commented, making me squint at her.

  "The proper terminology is still pending, but… let's go with that for now."

  My girlfriend hummed victoriously, while the dark-skinned Magi swept his eyes across the flat grounds.

  "An airport for portals. Fitting." His gaze returned to me, looking more than just intrigued. "Can I presume that you're planning to establish a means of instantaneous transportation of personnel?"

  "And goods, yes." I waited for a beat, and then added, "We're already building our own dedicated 'portalport' terminal back home at the Draconic Federation. If the Assembly wants in on the project, ask Abram. He's one of our chief investors, so you can get the details from him."

  "In that case, I'll do just that."

  Without further ado, Lord Barnabas left for the back of the group, where my in-laws were making small talk with Sahi and Pascal. Meanwhile, the class rep exhaled a long groan that was obviously meant for my ears, and when I glanced over at her, she instantly tugged on the frame of her glasses.

  "Seriously, Leo? Seriously. Can't you at least wait a few weeks before upending the common sense and balance of the World of Mystics all over again?"

  "Why? This should be a good thing for everyone involved. Right?"

  I turned to my girlfriends for support, and while Judy only shrugged as if it was none of her business, Elly rubbed her palms with an ear-to-ear grin.

  "Hehe! We're going to have a monopoly!"

  "I was under the impression monopolies are a bad thing," Judy stated absently, but it only made the princess grin even harder.

  "It's only a bad thing when others have it!"

  "… I could argue with that, but I won't."

  I internally debated whether I should chime in on the economics of this venture, but in the meantime, we reached the vicinity of the only building. It was a large construction of the same, pure white material as the spires, and the overall shape could be best described as a cubist interpretation of the conch of a giant sea snail.

  "This is the cultural exchange center; name also pending," I introduced the building with a sweep of my arm. "Since I expect that this project will cause a lot of mingling between the different powers and people of the World of Mystics, this'll be a neutral meeting ground where issues can be discussed as they come up. Think of it as a proto-embassy."

  "Wow! It's like, totally huge…" Sahi exclaimed and raised her sunglasses to take a better look. And no, I had no idea where she got those sunglasses; I couldn't pay attention to everything at once.

  "It's not that big," Angie commented on the side. "The Migdáls are much bigger than this."

  "Really? They don't seem that big from here?" Penny mused as she put a hand over her eyes and squinted at the closest tower in the distance.

  "It's because it's far away," Josh pointed out, causing my sister to snap.

  "I know that, smartass! I'm not dumb, right, Snowy?"

  "W-Why are you asking me that?" my other sister stammered, and while that group had their little squabble, Arnwald came up to me.

  "Are we going to stay here?"

  "No," I denied on the spot, but then after some consideration I also added, "On paper, we're here for the sake of cultural exchange, but no, this isn't where we're going to stay."

  The rest of the parents overheard our conversation and were looking at me with undisguised interest, so I gestured for them to follow me, and once we rounded the building, a road with a line of fancy horse-drawn carriages came into view. They were supposed to be palanquins carried by Celestials originally, but there was enough culture shock going around already, and I didn't want to freak out Judy's mom and dad. But then again…

  "Look, darling. Horses!"

  "Be careful, honey. Don't get bitten."

  "Don't worry!" Angie declared with a toothy grin as she joined them. "The horsies here are all super nice!"

  They were taking everything in stride, huh? It was better than them freaking out, that's for sure.

  In any case, I herded our group into the carriages, and before long, we were on our way to our destination. On the way there, we passed by some orchards, a small village where the inhabitants cheered when we waved at them, and then past some large grain fields already growing fast under the controlled climate of the Elysium. While those provided some sightseeing opportunities, the journey itself was uneventful to the point Judy decided to take a nap on my lap. She could, because the three of us, the princess included, had a whole carriage for ourselves.

  I only woke her when the horses stopped, and she sat up with a huge yawn. While I already knew why she was so sleep-deprived, I still felt obliged to tell her, "You really should've just slept properly last night."

  "Hush, Chief. Anti-harem countermeasures come first, sleep is a distant second."

  "Sure, sure," I conceded, as this was an argument I'd lost a few times already, and once the coachman opened the door, I stepped outside and helped the girls down.

  I could already hear the waves, along with more impressed gasps from our company. However, before I could explain the situation, I was startled by a series of trumpets. Already annoyed, I skipped to the front of the group and found some familiar faces.

  "Welcome, dear guests," Tsephanyah greeted us and… wait…

  "What the heck are you wearing?" the question slipped out of my mouth, but the man only smiled proudly.

  "I have made thorough preparations," he declared and tugged at his green camo vest. Not just that, but he was also wearing long boots, a dark shirt, and a matching bucket hat with honest-to-goodness fuzzy, colourful baits and lures on it.

  However, before I could get any further into questioning him, I noticed someone else making a fuss nearby.

  "Why aren't you doing your job?" a certain brunette woman in her full toga fineries hissed, and the two little girls in front of her covered, nearly dropping their baskets full of rose petals in the process.

  "B-But… the Second True Archon will get angry at us again…" the girl on the left whined, and the other weakly nodded.

  "That's no excuse for—" It was at this point that she realized I was looking, so she hastily stood up straight and flashed a smile in our direction. "Welcome, Polemos!" She then whispered a hasty 'Scram!' to the side, and the girls retreated at once.

  "… Eris. What the hell are you doing?" I asked, as deadpan as I could be, but she didn't get a clue.

  "I took it upon myself to arrange a proper welcome for you and our esteemed guests," she answered naturally and lightly nodded towards the people behind me. "I'm Sumboulos Savir, the Second True Archon's—"

  "No, stop," I cut her off with a raised palm. "I specifically told everyone I want no fanfare, no spectacle, and no grand receptions."

  "Indeed, yet an apt level of sophistication still has to be maintained when the Archons themselves are returning to Elysium, especially with guests in company."

  "Are you seriously going to argue with me on this?" I growled, and while her smile faltered for a moment, she quickly shook her head.

  "No, of course not. It's why I only limited the arrangements to a bare minimum," she said, ignoring the trumpeters behind her and the two flower girls on the verge of crying at the side.

  "Fine, just go away, would you? And you, Tsephanyah…" I turned to the other ex-director, and to my utter shock, he was already chumming it up with the menfolk, which somehow also included Pascal.

  "Indeed. I have consulted the local fishermen, and they have pinpointed several promising locations near the shore, as well as a riverside less than an hour's travel from here."

  "Oh, that sounds intriguing, but I didn't bring a fishing rod," Judy's dad responded dourly, but the blonde Celestial's smile only widened.

  "Please, don't concern yourself over such minor inconveniences. I have already arranged for multiple sets of fishing equipment of the highest quality. Consider it a gift."

  "That's very considerate of you," Arnwald spoke while dad-in-law only chuckled mirthfully.

  "Don't even mention it. It is the least we can provide for the beloved friends and family of the Lord Archon," Tsephanyah told them with a humble bow of the head, and… wow.

  I honestly couldn't decide if I was more impressed or scared of the shameless networking chops of that guy. Oh well. At least Dolion wasn't there, or that would've been the…

  "This way, everyone!" A new voice called out, and I couldn't help but facepalm right away. "Using proprietary Celestial technology and furnished with the finest materials, allow me to introduce you to Elysium's finest beachside properties, for your enjoyment!"

  Like a used car salesman, the youngest ex-director was hyping up the line of bungalows past the hill, by the shoreline, as if trying to sell them to the other half of our group, and… Wait, was he actually doing that? Goddammit.

  Yet, before I could get involved with that, I noticed that Savir sneakily approached my girlfriends of all people, making me stop in my tracks.

  "You must be Polemos's fiancées, am I right?" she addressed them with a sweet voice, trying to seem harmless. "Miss Eleanor Dracis of the dragonblooded families, and…" Her eyes fell on Judy, and her smile widened. "And Miss Judy Sennoma, of no particular heritage, if I'm not mistaken."

  "Eris!" I called out to her, making her shudder. "If you try to heckle my girlfriends, I swear to god I'll bury you in the sand of the beach, neck deep!"

  She opened her palms as if saying that she was entirely innocent, and I was just about to kick her out when I was interrupted once again, this time by the sound of children bawling. My eyes snapped over to my right, where I found the two flower girls crying. Despite my better judgement, my legs automatically took me over there.

  "Hello, kids. Is everything all right?"

  The two of them froze up, like deer in a headlight, so startled they forgot that they were sobbing. On closer look, they were pretty tiny. Maybe second- or third-graders, by normal standards? I didn't want to frighten them even more, so I crouched down until we were at eye level. It was only then that they calmed down a bit, and the kid on the right opened her mouth.

  "We… didn't want to make the great Archon angry…"

  "I'm not angry. Not at you, anyway…" I told them, automatically adopting a slightly higher pitch. "There's no need to cry."

  "B-But the esteemed s-sumboulos is mad at us and, and…"

  "Uuu…"

  The other girl was on the verge of crying, so I automatically reached out and rubbed their heads. Normally doing that to kids you only met three or four times in total (if they were the same flower-chuckers from before; I honestly wasn't entirely sure) was a bit too forward, but I was past caring.

  "Don't worry, nobody's going to be mad at you. Why don't you two just go home?"

  "We can't…" The girl on the left shook her head vehemently. "We didn't do our jobs, and everyone's going to be mad at us."

  "B-But we didn't have a choice! We… didn't want to make the great Archon angry…"

  Wait, didn't she already say that? Was this a placeholder-slip kind of thing, or just a kid thing, I wondered. In any case, my conscience wouldn't let me leave them like this.

  "In that case, you can just tell your mum and dad that Archon Polemos praised you and told you that you're good, considerate girls, okay?"

  The two of them were silent for a while.

  "We… don't have a mum. Or dad."

  "We're from the orphanage."

  Oh god damn mother of a donkey-merchant! They're orphans too?! Seriously?!

  "Okay, screw it," I whispered and removed my hands from their head. "As an apology for scaring you, you're hereby appointed as my official Chief Reminders." They looked confused, which wasn't surprising considering I just made it all up in the heat of the moment. "Your job is to stay around us and remind people that I don't like fanfares, red carpets, flower petal bombings, and big ceremonial greetings. In return, you can remain with us during our vacation, all expenses paid, and have fun. Deal?"

  The two of them continued to stare at me, dumbfounded. It wasn't quite the thousand-yard stare of a placeholder caught in a blue screen of death, but it was close, and after several seconds, the girl on the right finally managed to squeeze out a hesitant, "Really?"

  "Really. So cheer up, you two. Let me see some smiles."

  While still awkward, the two of them complied at once and forced smiles onto their faces. In truth, they still seemed more confounded than anything, but it was fine for now.

  "Good enough." I rubbed their noggings again and stood up.

  That was my good deed for the week, so after this, I could be as nefarious as I wanted.

  …

  On second thought, did I even have a reason to do that now? After all, future-me was already taking care of all the nefarious business. Maybe I should do more good deeds, to balance out the scales.

  While I was thinking, Michael of all people came over to my side. He looked a tad fretful, and he whispered, "Is this going to be all right?"

  I frowned to indicate that he should be more precise in his wording, but he just made a general gesture towards the rest of the group, where Mensah was still in the process of explaining the facilities of this newly built beach resort, Tsephanyah was still busy sucking up to my in-laws, and Savir was… being a pain in the ass, as usual. Nothing new there.

  "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

  I would've been lying if I said I hadn't been expecting that those three would try to get involved, and it was a small mercy that they didn't bring along their patsies in tow. Even without that, things were a bit more chaotic than planned, but we were still on the right track towards a genuine beach episode. We had the waves and the sun, we had the white sands, we had the traditional seaside cabins, and so long as we followed my checklist, we'd have enough tropes to tide us over until future-me finished setting up everything to the grand finale.

  That was promising to be a huge pain in the neck, at least based on the notebook's description, but there was little I could do about that. For now, I just put it out of mind and focused on the moment, enjoying the impromptu vacation and doing my best to ignore these minor annoyances.

  "Oh, trust me, girls. I know Polemos intimately," Savir declared proudly, contrasted with a mask of a friendly smile on her face. "Why, during his stay in Elysium, he often visited my room to have deep conversations, and…"

  Okay, maybe not all the minor annoyances after all.

  "Mike," I called out, startling both the guy on my left and the little girls on my right.

  "Y-Yes, Lord Archon?" he stood straight and even gave me a sloppy salute.

  I looked at him, then back at Savir, and my lips parted into a not-at-all malicious grin as I softly spoke three simple words.

  "Get. The. Shovels."