Tezca stood beside Jade’s corpse with his brow furrowed, listening. The terrible singer was coming closer.

  “Ohh, the storm has passed, warm at last. Shivering and withering, blithering and quivering. Killed by a dragon, let’s put her corpse in the wagon!”

  An old man—no, not a man, a gentleman—emerged from the woods. But the singing continued, and his mouth was not moving, and such a finely dressed gentleman would never let himself be heard singing so poorly.

  He wore an all-white suit, with the only splash of color being the rose in his breast pocket. He had light skin, and his white hair was tied up in a topknot. His well-manicured beard and mustache matched, with the beard coming to a fine peak at his sternum. The first two buttons on his shirt, also white, were left undone.

  In one hand, he carried an elegant wooden cane, though he wasn’t using it to walk. In the other, he held a leash. Whatever was attached was squirming around in the foliage until the man yanked the leash.

  “Guh- Ouch!”

  A long-bodied, short-limbed, wide-headed, beady-eyed creature jumped into the grove, landing up on its hind legs. Its flesh was a translucent pink color. The frills on the side of its head resembled broccoli.

  Tezca had never seen the like. He massaged his temples. This was getting to be too much.

  “God-killer, god-killer, we hasten toward the end,” the creature sang. Its wide mouth seemed stuck in a permanent crescent-shaped smile. “Father willed her, the poison filled her, she was not a friend.”

  The gentleman raised his arm and smacked the creature in the face with his cane.

  Tezca raised his fists while backing up. The creature troubled him more than the old man, but Tezca knew enough about the World to be wary of both.

  No more. Please. He wasn’t ready for a fight. His whole body ached with the phantom pain of the frigid blood. And he still couldn’t see properly out of his reforming eye.

  Tezca cleared his throat. “Uh, I didn’t kill that goddess. I found her like this. I tried to help, actually, but…”

  The gentleman raised his eyebrows and then threw his head back, laughing. “Ahh, you thought? No. Fate put Jade there, not me. I am merely an observer. A coin was spinning, Tezca, and it has landed.”

  “Fucking hell,” Tezca said. “You know my name too?”

  “I do. You were… noticed by Cassandra, our High Priestess. My name is Yuma. I’m an archaeologist in addition to being this region’s king. Do you know what that means?”

  “As in, Leviathan King?” Tezca asked.

  “Yes. I lord over these abandoned lands, where the soil is so rich with history.” Yuma stepped closer and Tezca flinched, so the gentleman stopped and held his hands up. “I’m a friend.”

  “Friend?” Tezca said, leaning forward. “You’re a friend? Why friend?” He hugged himself, rubbing his arms. The cold in his bones had his mind out of sorts.

  “Fucking hell, has Cassandra been drinking again?” Yuma muttered, not particularly quietly. “If our prognostication is correct, you’re a virgin Hallow. Am I right?”

  “That’s not— I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” Tezca said. “Oh!” Hallow. He’d heard that term before. “The magic? Yes, I died, and I’ve been wandering around in the woods.”

  The axolotl was pulling on the leash, straining to reach the pool of dirty water. Yuma let go, and the creature dove in to swim around.

  Yuma looked at Tezca and sighed. “So, you know jack-shit. Don’t worry, I haven’t gotten tired of explaining this over and over again for three hundred years. Not at all.” He smiled and his teeth gleamed in the sunlight. “Best part of the job.”

  “I vomited out a baby,” Tezca blurted. “Did the goddess do something to me? Have I been poisoned? There was this horrible, smelly blood.”

  “A baby?” Yuma said, brow furrowed.

  “Not a baby,” Tezca said. “More like a tiny version of me. It was there, right there.” He pointed, but the body had vanished. Not even the blood stain remained. “Little T?” Tezca cried out.

  “Please be quiet,” Yuma said. “Hmm. No, Jade did not possess any such ability. Nor would the Yalda’blood have had such an effect. I suspect your Invoke has to do with self-duplication or something of that nature.”

  “My what?” Tezca said, fingering his earhole.

  Yuma sneered as he looked Tezca up and down.

  Tezca slumped his shoulders, embarrassed. His clothes hung in tatters, and he was covered in mud, and he must’ve stank to high hell.

  Yuma drew his lips into a line. “You did well in not succumbing to the Yalda’blood. Cassandra said that was the most likely outcome. What happened here was the least likely of three outcomes, actually. Either of the other two, and I would’ve been able to return to my treasure hunting…” He grinned again. “But here we are!”

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  Tezca’s hands went to his mouth, and he bit down on his knuckle to stop his teeth from chattering. “What is that gooey black blood?” He nodded toward Jade’s crystallized corpse. “She was full of it.”

  “Yes,” Yuma said. “Unlucky for her. Yalda’blood. It’s to do with the Interlopers, but it’s not something you’ll need to concern yourself with in your duties. Just, if you happen to come across it again, avoid touching it. Common sense, really.”

  “My duties?” Tezca said. He glanced back at the pink creature—several butterflies had landed on its face and belly as it floated along. Tezca shook out his arms and legs and the fiery warmth surged to overtake the remnants of the poison blood. He felt a bit more like himself. “What duties? What is all this?”

  Yuma planted his cane on the ground and folded his hands on top of it. “Listen, Tezca. We were under the impression that you are the leader of a… tribe of some sort; that you possess a subterranean temple. Are we mistaken?”

  “The ruler of a tribe?” Tezca said, fidgeting with his jowls. “Mmm. I could be.” He grinned. “I definitely could be.”

  Yuma pinched the bridge of his nose. “I told Cassandra I didn’t want to deal with this paradoxical shit anymore.” He looked at Tezca again. “Elaborate.”

  “So, there is this—”

  “Plainly and concisely, please.”

  Tezca drew a deep breath. “I lived in a village nearby. I hate the people there. A couple weeks ago, they hanged me and threw rotten tomatoes at me. I would be happy to crush them. And a temple? Jade talked about a temple. I can—”

  “Enough. I understand. Jade’s temple? Ahh, that makes sense. Perhaps this path was not as forked as we thought. I’d hoped you had your own, as her sanctuary contains a Yaldabaoth Matrix site and I’d prefer not to keep too many eggs in the same basket, but alas, beggars can’t be choosers.”

  Tezca’s stomach rumbled. It was a relief to feel hunger after the trauma his stomach had suffered. “Do you like eggs, Yuma? Wanna search for some? Ooh! Do you think Jade laid any eggs?”

  “No, and no. And no. I’m vegan.”

  The hair on the back of Tezca’s neck stood up. He sat down and leaned back on his hands. King or not, he would not show deference to this fool. “I’ve got kings and gods dangling bait in front of me. What’d you all want with me? I just want to be left alone.”

  “Get up,” Yuma said. “That’s uncouth. We’re not familiar enough for you to sit while I stand, and I don’t want to stain my pants.”

  Tezca stood up without thinking.

  “Jade sought to use you. She begged for your aid as she greedily clung to her ruined, misbegotten life. I am here because we see your potential and we have an important mission for you. You will be uplifted.”

  “Sounds like work,” Tezca grunted.

  “Nonsense,” Yuma said. “Ruling over a people is easy depending on your… thresholds.” He nodded toward Jade. “The work will be hers.”

  Tezca tilted his head in confusion.

  “Gods don’t die," Yuma said. "Not really."

  Tezca’s head remained tilted.

  “Your task requires the both of you.”

  “No,” Tezca said. “That doesn’t work for me. I swore I would eat Jade.”

  “Eat her?”

  “Yes. I have a dream to eat every food in the World, and that includes non-humanoid gods.” He raised a hand as Yuma made a face. “I know it’s impossible. But I can get close.”

  “That’s completely out of the question,” Yuma said. “We need her as a conduit. That’s why I preserved her corpse.”

  “Huh? You—”

  Yuma smiled again, and Tezca saw that his shiny teeth were made of frosty white crystals.

  “Would you consider a replacement?” Yuma asked. "What are your… parameters? There are many gods in the shape of animals. Tigers, crocodiles, et cetera.”

  Tezca crossed his arms and shook his head. “She crushed my baby-me. I must eat her.”

  “No. Jade is connected to these lands and her abilities align well with our goal.”

  Tezca sneered, his face growing hot.

  “Before you speak,” Yuma said, “let me explain something. If you refuse, I will have to kill you where you stand. I reckon you wouldn’t be eating too well in the Hells. We don’t need you, Tezca. You are merely the most convenient option.”

  Tezca pressed his fingertips together, breathing in and out through his nose to calm himself down. He’d better be cautious. “Hmm. I suppose I’d go by species. Are there any other eagle-shaped gods? Maybe a hawk would suffice.”

  Yuma chortled. “That can be arranged. I can procure a Thunderbird with relative ease. One of those beasts destroyed my colleague’s fortress a couple of months ago. I think he’d appreciate that. And it’d be quite similar to Jade, really, both being wielders of storms.”

  “When?” Tezca said. “I won’t be left with my pants around my ankles.”

  Yuma strode toward Jade’s corpse. “I’ll need some time. But Jade will be in your possession, so you’ll have collateral.”

  “Acceptable,” Tezca said, though he knew he had little footing in this negotiation. At least Yuma was polite enough to pretend otherwise.

  Yuma smiled. “Cassandra warned me to expect a belligerent idiot. You killed this goddess who was begging you for her life. Why are you being agreeable with me?”

  Tezca grimaced. “Don’t have much choice, do I?”

  “Part of being a belligerent idiot is failing to recognize such things.”

  “She was weak,” Tezca said. “Vulnerable. If she hadn’t—” No, better not to say that. It was shameful. If he’d understood the agony caused by the Yalda’blood, he would’ve helped Jade. Tezca was happy to abide some suffering in order to satisfy his appetite, but not that much.

  “I want to know the details,” Tezca said. “All of them. What will I be doing? I’ll be some sort of king?”

  “Steward would be a more accurate term,” Yuma said. “I’m the king, after all. But feel free to think of yourself as one if you want. I don’t care.

  “Let’s see. First, we’d better retrieve your subjects. We’ll go to your village and take them all captive. Is it far?”

  “Not far,” Tezca said. “But there’s a thousand of them. They’re not warriors, but they are vicious little assholes. They will fight.”

  “Inconsequential,” Yuma said. “The temple is enormous, and I have transports on standby. We’ll bring all the villagers to Jade’s temple and then clear out her worshippers. Perhaps some of them will live under your rule. But most will have had their minds broken by Jade’s death. I’ll be taking those—one of my friends likes to study that affliction.

  “And that’s about it. I’ll leave you to your own devices and you get to rule indefinitely. It usually takes a couple of generations to weed out the problematic ones, but then you can build whatever sort of society you want. I recommend creating a fake religion. And if you get sick of it in, say, a thousand years…” Yuma chuckled. “Well, who knows how things will have changed by then. Perhaps an end will be in sight.”

  Tezca smacked himself on the ear. “Sorry, what? A thousand years?”

  “Oh, didn’t you know? Hallows have very long lifespans. We have no idea how long—indefinite is my guess—since the first ones only cropped up four hundred years ago. I was among them, actually, and I’m still kicking.”

  Joy blossomed inside Tezca’s stomach. He felt like he was floating. “I’m… I’m going to live forever?”

  “Maybe,” Yuma said. “Close enough, at least, that it will get boring if you don’t have a good hobby. Archaeology, for example, is an endless pursuit. I also have my theozoological museum to curate. I admit… I too have a dream that others call insane. I seek a legendary artifact—the Altus Panacea.”

  Forgetting himself, Tezca put his hands on Yuma’s shoulders, grinning from ear to ear. “I will be able to eat everything.”