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SotA (Book1) Chapter 4: Between Shadows

  Wednesday, August 27th, 2042, Sumner, Portland, Oregon.

  Ryan had his character all planned out. He would create a priest—one of the two starting healers, a role always in demand.

  Next he had narrowed it down to a Half-blood felinae; there was some undeniable appeal about a character who was both familiar and exotic. The expressive cat ears and tail would be an indisputable advantage when trying to charm his way through problems.

  After all, no one can resist an adorable catgirl!

  For the rest of her appearance, he knew exactly who he would model her after—Megan.

  Not just her looks, but her confidence. Strong, captivating, in control.

  There would be no need for him to waste hours in character creation. He knew exactly what he wanted. He would scroll through the options, picked the features that fit, and soon enough, Kaelyn Moonshadow would come to life—a sleek feline priestess ready to take on the world.

  His phone finally alerted him the download had completed.

  Ryan let out a sigh of relief. “Finally.”

  This was just a game, but it was a chance to break free from the monotony of his everyday life.

  In that world, he could try being someone new, leading a different life.

  He sat down, snapping the neural link into place at the base of his neck.

  His personal hub loaded—his familiar cyberpunk virtual apartment. Neon purple and turquoise lights bathed the room in a retro-futuristic look.

  If A Realm Reforged Again impressed him, Ryan would consider buying the official theme later, to replace this one.

  Sure, those themes and pre-built virtual hubs were just another way companies could nickel-and-dime me…

  When Ryan liked a game, he did not mind throwing more money at the creators. He saw it like handing them a tip.

  And unlike tipping, he would get some palpable reward in exchange.

  They also made for a great conversation starters!

  Quickly navigating to the game’s icon, Ryan launched the application.

  As soon as the game logo appeared with the create character option, he immediately pressed the button with a flourish, failing to notice his unusually translucent limbs.

  “Choose your creator”, the interface prompted, both through a gentle voice and floating text.

  Ryan raised an eyebrow.

  Choose your creator? Sounds like the kind of thing lore nerds will obsess over…

  He was about to pick at random when he paused.

  “If I’m going to roleplay as a catgirl, maybe I should pick someone who fits her character,” he said, pausing.

  “I wouldn’t normally care if I was here just to grind levels, but… I never really roleplayed before.”

  When in Rome, do as the Romans do?

  “Maybe I could pick a creator that suits her personality?”

  He scrolled through the list.

  Astralius, god of illumination? That sounded way too righteous.

  Luxoria, goddess of radiance? A decent fit for a healer, but not quite what I have in mind.

  Umber, god of secrecy? Hmm. Getting closer.

  Nocturne, goddess of mysteries?

  Oh, that’s perfect!

  Ryan smiled.

  The goddess herself was a tall, mysterious figure shrouded in black, her face hidden beneath a heavy hood. Everything about her radiated mystery and intrigue.

  “Now we’re talking! Goddess of Mysteries, it is!”

  Ryan confirmed his choice.

  The image of Nocturne and the interface filled with lore that was filling his screen soon faded away, leaving him alone in darkness.

  Suddenly, he felt light-headed, his vision swimming as dizziness washed over him. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, surprised when his hand—slimmer and more delicate than usual—came into view.

  The hand mere inches away from his face was nothing like his normal one.

  He could see the black sleeve reaching all the way to his wrist, and he knew that his current avatar looked nothing like his normal VR self.

  Looking down, he saw that his body had changed.

  His clothes felt different, tighter.

  There was a slight weight on his chest that was foreign, but oddly, it did not feel wrong.

  Rationally, he knew what had happened—the game had placed him in the body of Nocturne.

  “Huh? That’s…”

  Wait, what’s… Okay, I didn’t see that coming.

  The voice he had just spoken with? It was not his.

  He knew instinctively it was Nocturne’s, even though he had no way to tell—he had never heard her speak before.

  But she sounded just like he imagined she would.

  “I wonder if it’s going to feel that weird once it’s my character’s body and voice?” he asked aloud, testing how her voice felt, if he used it longer than a few words.

  A small window appeared in front of him. A percentage going up at a steady pace.

  “Body calibration in progress, please wait.”

  Gradually, the disorienting sensations faded, and Ryan felt more grounded. The game’s calibration system had successfully adjusted, making it feel like this body was his own, even if it was a temporary one.

  So this is their secret way of fixing the body mismatch issues?

  With a final flex of his fingers, he focused his attention back to the screen.

  “Choose your species.”

  He went through the options rapidly, and selected the Half-blood felinae option as soon as he found it.

  Without a second of hesitation, he chose the female avatar.

  The customisation interface unfolded, but he breezed through it, adjusting sliders with practiced ease.

  He set the height to five foot four—Megan’s height. Or at least, from his current point of view, the avatar was as tall as he remembered her to be.

  He picked a skin tone matched hers, with a warm, sun-kissed hue.

  He carefully adjusted her facial features to mirror Megan’s captivating gaze and confident smile, but added a touch of his own preference: slitted, cat-like emerald green eyes that seemed to shine.

  When he reached the body customisation, he hesitated for a moment before maxing out the bust slider.

  A fleeting disappointment crossed his mind when he realized the limits were far from as exaggerated as he had expected.

  What kind of hot-blooded male wouldn’t immediately push that slider to the max?

  The avatar rotated before him—a striking catgirl priestess with long, flowing honey-blonde hair, dark at the roots and lighter toward the ends.

  Her ears and tail matched the colour of her hair. The tail swayed from left to right in a hypnotic pattern, and her ears occasionally twitched subtly, as if alive.

  The starter gear was undeniably bold: a cropped top that revealed toned abs, a micro-skirt, thigh-high leggings, and fingerless gloves. The ensemble exuded confidence and allure.

  The cat-like appearance made her even more irresistible.

  Behold! The power of ultimate cuteness.

  Kaelyn Moonshadow was almost ready to enter the Realm.

  But before that, Nocturne smiled mischievously.

  Ryan had Kaelyn strike a few runway poses, using the screenshot function in rapid succession.

  He singled out a striking shot and attached it to a message he sent to Megan.

  “Hey Meg, check this out!”

  A Heart emoji appeared at the bottom of his screenshot.

  “Oh, hey! Who’s the cutie?”

  Well, that wasn’t the answer I was hoping for, but it’s not exactly a bad one...

  “Don’t you think she looks kinda like you?”

  Come on, don’t tell me you don’t see it?

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  Laughing emoji. “Heh, my boss sure would love that…!”

  Wait, she’s not seeing it? Where did I go wrong? I thought I had captured everything just right.

  “Anyway, yeah… So that’s the character I made for this new VR game.”

  A pause.

  “Oh, my…! Really? Guys won’t leave you alone for a minute looking like that.”

  Ryan felt relieved he got that part right, at least.

  Well, all according to plan! I’m going to turn heads, for sure.

  “Yep! That’s the idea!”

  Another pause.

  “Well, if that’s your idea of fun…”

  He could just feel the uneasiness and hesitation in her reply.

  This is a train wreck. How can I get her to understand where I’m going with this? Ah, I think I got it!

  “—I am going to play a healer!”

  Shocked emoji. “Dressed like that?”

  Well, that’s just her starter gear. I’m sure there will be far spicier outfits in the game.

  Female armour in games.

  The devs sure know how to make every girl into eye candy no matter what they wear.

  “Yeah, of course. Going for the ‘damsel in distress’ look. Make others do all the work for me, you know?”

  Thinking emoji. “Damsel isn’t what comes to mind with that getup.”

  “Princess, then?”

  Online communities often referred to the more difficult and picky healers as princesses.

  Privilege of playing an in-demand class.

  “Yeah. Sure. But hey, have fun in there. You still free in two days? Evening after my shift?” she asked.

  “Yep, my schedule’s all clear, babe!”

  He gave his reply without even checking his calendar. He had nothing important going on—he never did.

  She gave his reply a thumbs-up emoji, but did not reply any further.

  The conversation had not gone the way he had planned. He thought his choices would flatter Megan.

  Maybe even surprise her or make her laugh?

  But her curt replies made appear dismissive or annoyed, instead.

  Maybe I caught her in the middle of something?

  Ryan’s attention finally returned to the game. He clicked the button to confirm his selection.

  “On Umber’s First Darksday of Harvestfall, 1442, Kaelyn Moonshadow was born. May the Sixteen watch over her as she navigates the shifting shadows of secrets untold.”

  “Edgy,” he said, snickering.

  Everything went black, leaving only behind in glowing white font the following text: “We welcome you, Ryan. Now it’s time for Kaelyn to wake up.”

  In the darkness, an odd sensation hit him in the stomach. Dizziness, similar to the one he had felt earlier, visited him once more.

  A window popped up, a progress bar about calibration inched haltingly forward.

  Calibrating to Kaelyn this time?

  She opened her eyes.

  She was in the middle of a bustling city with towering spires.

  People were walking all around her in a big open plaza.

  Kaelyn tentatively moved her limbs, still getting used to the way it felt to occupy a body that was not quite her own.

  The calibration was working—her body felt like a second skin.

  It felt familiar, but with a tiny touch of fresh and unknown.

  Colours seemed brighter, sounds clearer.

  Emotions washed over her—joy, awe, even fear—in waves that left her breathless.

  But before she could even take a first step, the familiar ringing of a direct virtualChat request interrupted her.

  Someone had dropped by unannounced—virtually, of course—and was waiting behind the door to Ryan’s apartment.

  Ugh! I was just about to get started! Who dares?!

  With a sigh of regret, Ryan willed himself out of the game.

  Everything around him quickly faded, letting his virtual hub fade back into view.

  But the moment he took a step forward, a strange tug rippled through Kaelyn’s body—her ears twitching, tail flicking.

  For a second, he felt… off, like he was still growing into her skin.

  A wave of dizziness washed over him, just like earlier, but then it passed.

  Calibration must still be happening in the background?

  But unlike when he had calibrated to Nocturne’s body, Ryan still felt somewhat off right now…

  He started walking to the front door, but paused when blonde hair fell across his face, soft strands brushing against his skin.

  Simultaneously, he felt the way her tail curled and uncurled behind her, as if it had a life of its own.

  Ryan looked downward in surprise. Only then did it dawn on him he was still wearing Kaelyn’s body, and her clothes too—still the cropped top and mini-skirt Megan had been so dismissive about earlier.

  It clung perfectly, more than that. A little too perfectly.

  Okay, that’s quite a view. Might take some time getting used to that.

  “But this… this isn’t supposed to happen, is it?”

  Kaelyn’s voice resonated in the empty apartment.

  It sounded surprisingly different from the voice he had chosen for her.

  Right now, she did not sound nearly as confident or sexy.

  No, not at all like Megan.

  This was the voice of someone younger, more hesitant. And… uneasy.

  Well, that tracks; I didn’t expect to still be Kaelyn over here…

  She let out a long sigh and shrugged.

  Is the game glitching?

  “Well, I don’t think I can fix this quickly, so let’s see who’s there. And hope they have a sense of humour.”

  Kaelyn’s gloved hand went and turned the doorknob, opening the door to let whoever was there inside.

  A casual, street-smart figure with short, colourful hair and a no-nonsense vibe entered the hub without hesitation.

  He, of course, recognised her immediately, as this was his sister’s avatar.

  What are you here for, Lu?

  “Hey, papá just called and—”.

  She stopped abruptly, looking Kaelyn over as she stood next to the open door.

  “Who the hell are you?” she asked, a frown on her face, hands on her hips.

  Ryan grinned.

  In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.

  Ryan figured this was a perfect, unexpected opportunity to experiment with this new body. This area was safe, after all. And totally isolated.

  Well, except for Lu. But I bet she’ll get a kick out of this!

  He struck a pose—hip slightly jutted out, one hand on her waist, the other flipping her hair back with a flick of her wrist.

  “Hey, hermanita. Your offer of fashion tips still stands?” He asked, teasing.

  “Ryan?” she asked, squinting.

  Connecting the dots! She was always the clever one!

  “What’s going on with your avatar?”

  He shrugged theatrically. “Not really sure? I guess it’s because I’m still in the game, just AFK?”

  Ryan scratched the top of his head, surprised when his hand felt his cat ears react.

  Lucia looked at him, mouth agape.

  “I just bought this new game this morning, and there’s some kind of system to help you feel comfortable in the skin of any character you create,” he said, explaining what he could puzzle out of his situation.

  She tilted her head, looking at her brother’s avatar with interest, and a smile flashed on her face.

  “Wow, that’s wild! And the game basically allows you to change your VR avatar outside of it? That is awesome. Oh, can’t wait to tell Juno, Mara, and Jay! What’s the game? Everyone’s gonna want in on that,” she said, barely containing her excitement.

  “A Realm Reforged Again,” Ryan said, digging through the game’s interface for a share button. He then floated the information over to Lucia’s avatar.

  She quickly scanned the product information and did a series of gestures on an interface only visible to her. Ryan assumed she was already forwarding it to her many friends.

  While she did that, Ryan took out a full-length mirror of his virtual inventory, almost willing it into existence.

  He adjusted the angle just right and tried a few different poses, trying to imitate the ones Kaelyn’s body had done earlier for the photo shoot.

  “Oh my God, Ry. You’re really owning it, huh?”

  Ryan grinned, though a flicker of uncertainty flashed in her green, cat-like eyes. He leaned into the playful tone, hoping it would hide the weird feeling creeping up the back of her mind.

  “Well, you said I needed help. Just figured I’d make it interesting.” Kaelyn twirled on her heel, her tail swishing behind her with every movement, and finished with a little wink. “So, what do you think? Is Kaelyn passable or what?”

  Lucia tilted her head, eyeing her brother’s avatar up and down, her expression shifting between amusement and something more thoughtful.

  “Passable? Don’t downplay your looks—you look all sorts of dangerous. But for real, this is nuts. You look like… Hot? Let’s just say you’ve got screenshot material written all over you.”

  “I know, right? Been there, done that already.” Kaelyn’s expression changed into a grin as she flicked some hair with the wave of a hand.

  “And that’s the whole point. You know how this works—healers get all the invites. Might as well look the part. It’s like gaming 101.”

  “Okay, fine. I get it. You want to be the spoiled princess of the game,” Lucia smirked, folding her arms across her chest. “But you realise what kind of attention you’re gonna get, right? I mean, looking like that?”

  “Oh, please. I’m not worried about a little attention,” Kaelyn rolled her eyes, but could not help a small chuckle.

  She waved her hand dismissively, her feline ears twitching in what felt like a natural response.

  “If anything, it’ll be fun.”

  “I get to choose who I hang with. Healer’s privilege.” She struck another pose—this time more exaggeratedly, with her tail curling dramatically as she swayed her hips.

  “Look, bro… Or Kaelyn, is it? I get the whole experimenting thing.” Lucia did not laugh this time.

  Instead, she leaned forward, her avatar’s face turning serious for a moment.

  “It’s fun in games. But FullDive’s different. They stopped offering customisation for a reason. We just went over this in IT history at school. You don’t just watch a character—you feel it. Trust me, it’s gonna get to you, and people visited the hospital over far less drastic changes than what you’ve got here.”

  She gestured at Kaelyn, miming her hourglass figure.

  “You look like this in here. Normally, your brain should experience extreme gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia right now. This? It’s not at all who you are.”

  “The fact you’re able to strut around like this? It means they did something to your head, to make it think that this is who you are. That’s messing around with your prefrontal cortex. That’s where your identity is.”

  Ryan shifted uncomfortably, but tried to shrug it off. “You’re overthinking it. It’s just a game. Besides, I’m just playing the part. What’s the worst that can happen? People hit on me? Big deal.”

  Lucia sighed, shaking her head.

  “It’s not just about people hitting on you. FullDive messes with your head in ways you don’t expect. You know that in the early 2020s they were already sending game developers to the emergency room in stretchers from those VR headsets? Those were just optical headsets.”

  She did not look remotely amused as she continued her explanation.

  “Right now, we’re both wired with a connector straight in our central nervous system, the two of us. You don’t think that this could be a bigger deal than fancy 3D glasses? And let’s be honest—you look like someone who’s asking for all kinds of attention. Not just the ‘can you join my party?’ type either.”

  She paused, giving him a long look.

  “And if you think the way you’re moving and thinking feels natural right now… maybe it’s not.”

  Kaelyn hesitated, trying to keep the confident mask on.

  Lucia’s words were hitting a little too close to home. She glanced down at her avatar, the way her chest rose and fell, the way her hips curved just a little too perfectly.

  It was a bit much now that she thought about it.

  “Okay, okay. So maybe it’s a little… extra. But you’re just being paranoid. I know what I’m doing.”

  Lucia raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced.

  “What do you know about the developers behind this game?” she asked, once again fiddling with an invisible interface in front of her face, quickly typing things in midair.

  “Nothing? I don’t really care about who made it,” Ryan answered truthfully.

  Where are you going with this, Lu?

  After a few seconds of deep concentration, his sister looked up and focused back on Kaelyn’s eyes.

  “Well, that’s the thing. Apparently, you’re not alone. Nobody knows them. And it looks like the game didn’t even have a beta test or anything.”

  She frowned.

  “Some random company released super experimental technology in a world-wide re-launch of a game, and the first thing you do is create the character that’s about as diametrically opposed to your real self as you can, and then pose and take sexy pictures of yourself?”

  The conversation paused for an uncomfortable moment, but then Lucia got even more serious.

  “Don’t come crying to me when it all gets too real. You wanted fashion tips? Here’s one: Don’t go overboard with the ‘hot catgirl’ look. You’ll regret it.”

  Kaelyn crossed her arms, her tail flicking back and forth in irritation.

  Lucia sounds just like Megan earlier. They don’t get it. This is going to be fun, a chance to do something different, to be someone better. Can’t they understand?

  “Alright, alright. Maybe I’ll tone it down a little. But come on, it’s a game! Can’t I have some fun?”

  Lucia’s expression softened, and she let out a small laugh.

  “Yeah, Ry. Have fun. But seriously—don’t let it mess with you. I’ve seen what it does to people. FullDive’s no joke. You are Kaelyn when you’re in there. And when you start thinking like her… well, just be careful, okay?”

  Kaelyn rolled her eyes again but gave a half-smile.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine. Just wait till you see me in action.”

  “Oh, I can’t wait to see that, sis.” Lucia shook her head, a grin tugging at her lips.

  “Just don’t forget who you really are when you log out, okay?”

  Kaelyn blinked at the word.

  Sis.

  A strange, fluttering warmth in her chest that she quickly dismissed.

  Lucia’s just being cheeky. That’s all.

  But for a second, the words had felt more like a fact than a joke.

  Kaelyn.

  Sister.

  He blinked again, shaking the feeling off.

  “I won’t. I know exactly who I am.”

  Oh? Do we? Do we really know who we are?

  Have you paid attention to the names and pronouns you use when talking about yourself?

  Ryan frowned to himself at the weird intrusive thought, but focused on his sister.

  “If you feel like your sense of self is slipping… well, just be careful… Anyway. Papá called and wanted me to let you know he’s coming over. So don’t go silent mode on him again.”

  “Sure…”

  Lucia looked at him with a flat look.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll log out and clean up a bit until he gets here, then jump right back at it once he’s gone. Promise!”

  “That’s better. And have fun with all the catfishing once you’re done,” she said, smiling.

  “I’m not…,” he began, but Lucia promptly cut him off.. “Tut!”

  Lucia smiled, playfully putting a finger on Kaelyn’s lips.

  Ryan closed his mouth and froze, staring at his sister’s finger, right past her nose.

  “You know what you’re doing, right? See you later, gatita!”

  Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked away, her avatar vanishing as soon as she crossed the threshold of the virtual door.

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