I take a deep breath as I examine myself in the mirror, first looking left, then right. I’ll be honest. My makeup is spotless, if a bit… intense. I may have leaned a little more goth than usual with the black today. Another relic of a past girlfriend and fond memories of my first date with her. It goes well with the simple, black sundress Mom helped me sew. I got a few friendly jabs from her about letting the skill lapse on my end, but she didn’t complain too much. All in all she seemed happy just to see me going on a date, however confusing my choice of partner was for her. This is one of the first dresses I’ve worn that fully displays my various tattoos, all across both arms and my sternum. I give the mirror a wide, black lipped grin.

  I look fucking great. Confident, hot, and deeply offensive to my original mother. The kind of look that would inspire audible gags from men with control issues as they decry my ruined skin, maybe half an hour before they furiously type ‘tattoos’ into Pornhub. This was a look I couldn’t have gotten away with as Annie, not while teaching as a grad student. I have always wanted it anyway, but haven’t had much opportunity to show it off before now. I am thriving now that I finally can. Sarafyna is going to love it. She is going to love… me. I let out something resembling an extremely uncharacteristic giggle before clearing my throat and looking around the empty room. That came out of nowhere, but I was blessedly alone when it did. I am just struggling to wrap my head around it.

  I have hidden my age from that woman for actual years now, not wanting her first impression of me to be that of a child. All in the hopes that when I finally looked like the adult I am, she would be interested in me. The downside of this is, of course, the fact that she hasn’t given me the ‘look’. The look I have so often relied on to tell if women want me to ask them out. She did technically pursue me when we met, and she didn’t stop when I hit on her… Alright, admittedly that interaction is less encouraging when both terms are used literally. At the end of the day, I have been trying to feel her out for years. Working up to telling her she would make a good partner in more than just violence. Finding her lips against mine before I had the chance was… well, I could use a few more surprises like that in my life.

  And it was a surprise. I mean if you think women are hot, you think women are hot. The fact that it’s rarely if ever spoken of in Potestia can neither change that, nor how correct you are for it. Still, it is not discussed in Potestia. Going for the kiss is a big swing. I look in the mirror again and amend my evaluation. Alright, perhaps not that big of a swing. But I was nevertheless expecting to make the first move myself. I can’t help but blush a little as I give myself one last cursory look before heading out. Sarafyna kissed me. Not the other way around. That is more validation than I could have hoped for. And now, well I finally get to go on a date. Oddly, Sara was much more nervous about this idea than about locking lips but I suppose that’s the way of things. Really it’s just what we do all the time anyway, but with more form fitting clothes and fluttering eyelashes, so to speak.

  I glance at the two baskets I have prepared and sigh. Time to go. I used to be quite good at this, I think. But here I am again, anxiety gripping me like it’s actually my first time going on a date. I wonder if date anxiety resets with reincarnation or if it’s just the time between the two that is causing my hands to tremble a little. Come on Lily. You killed the damn king. You made a speech from the gallows to a crowd that was demanding your death. Surely, suuurely, you can go flirt with a cute girl over a picnic.

  *Thwonk* *Thwonk* The knocking on my door sends my soul from my body like ice down my shirt. Nope, this is definitely scarier. What the fuck is the deal with that? Lillith of Endings: Killer of Kings, the Mage of Mourning, useless lesbian. Check, check, and check. I take a deep breath, pick up both baskets, and approach the door. Then I pause and roll my eyes at myself before putting one basket back down and opening the door. Sara practically yelps as I do before regaining composure and straightening out. There is something comforting about the way she shares my nerves. I also don’t fail to miss the way her eyes flick up and down before returning to my eyes. The slight red in her cheeks reveals my suspicions were correct. I look fucking amazing. But Sarafyna… Sarafyna is in a league of her own..

  She has no unique sundress. She wears no make-up. This may be a matter of preference, lack of experience, or uniquely because it gets too easily ruined when she splits her face like this season’s Stranger Things monster. Her scars are as prominent as ever, and she grips her peasant’s dress nervously while biting her lower lip. What she does have is an extravagant and feathered hat. She looks fucking amazing.

  “Sara hi, I–” I start, tripping over her own question.

  “Why two baskets?” she blurts out. We both freeze for a moment before she looks down and I rub the back of my neck.

  “Go ahead,” I offer and she takes a deep breath.

  “Um… I asked… about… about the baskets,” she struggles and I blush, holding up the one I am still holding.

  “Oh, uh… this is lunch. I made it myself!” I reply with a grin. She looks down at the basket by my feet.

  “What’s that one for?” she asks. I blush for a different reason this time.

  “That’s uh, also lunch. I didn’t make it myself, though. Mom and Gil… well in case my attempts are less than edible,” I respond. Her lips tighten as if struggling against a laugh, which only serves to make her more cute. “Oh, just come on,” I finally say, picking up the more presentable lunch and joining her outside my room. We share another awkward look before she notices my hands are full and closes the door for me. We stand around in silence for another agonizing ten seconds before I turn and start walking. Smooth as sandpaper. I swear I used to be good at this. Probably. I think. Fuck.

  The walk is a bit awkward as we head to the beach. We are going further instead of closer to the Radiant Woods this time. We both feel a little less sick the further we are, and this beach is wide. Both of us repeatedly open our mouths to speak, only to let out an empty breath. Calm, cool, and confident, that’s me. Except around hot women, apparently. We make it to a lovely spot. The weather is nice, the blanket I spread out is comfortable, we are both wildly different flavors of sexy. And we are both rigid as a board. Sarafyna I understand. This is the first time she has been on a date with a girl. This is her first time on a date at all, actually. But me? I have no excuse. I’m just a massive dork, at least when I’m not the monster under nobles' beds. Shit, after this I’m going to have to hide under my own for a week. This was so much easier when we were just kissing. Kissing is easy, your partner never expects you to talk.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  Why is this so hard? We talk all the time. Then we lock lips in a vulnerable moment, talk about eating together for the millionth time in four years, and suddenly the sapphic goddess has stolen our voices from us. Useless.

  “So, uh…” Sara ventures, finally breaking the eternal and rigid silence, “You never told me what this tattoo was of?” she asks, gently touching my right arm with two fingers. More electricity runs through me than that fucking bard who worked for Darian. I almost jump away, instead blushing furiously, which forces her to do the same. She pulls her hand back like she’s been shocked and I wince. “Oh, uh, sorry,” she apologizes and I shake my head.

  “No, no, it’s fine, I promise, it is!” I insist. “It’s just… it’s been a long time since I’ve done this. Out of practice, I guess.” I chuckle awkwardly, then look at the tattoo she had touched before smiling. “That’s Samus’ helmet. Well, close enough. I had to create it from memory.” She tilts her head and looks at me.

  “Samus?” she presses and I smile gently.

  “She’s a character in a game. One of my favorites, actually. I fucking died before Prime four came out, one of my greatest regrets as Annie,” I answer, some of the rigidity fading as I start talking about my interests on Earth.

  “You tattooed something from a game on your arm?” she presses, more confused than judgmental.

  “Well, yeah. All my tattoos are things I like. And it was a really good game! Samus is a cool, confident, but deeply troubled woman!” I defend, despite the lack of accusation in the question. “Besides, you would totally get a tattoo of your favorite hats!” She wrinkles her nose in the most adorable way before shaking her head.

  “I don’t like the idea of tattoos. I think I’d want to get rid of them as soon as I got them. And I think I’d lose them as soon as I tried to change anyway,” she dismisses. A moment later she gets a look of horror on her face and starts frantically waving her hands. “Oh no, I don’t mean I don’t like them! Yours look really attr- good. Yours look really good! I wouldn’t want you to lose them!”

  I can’t help but laugh, and with that the ice is broken. “Well no worries,” I joke, “Only way I am getting rid of any of these is if I lose the limb they are inked into! I knew what you meant, lots of people like them aesthetically but don’t want any themselves. Don’t worry, I saw how you looked me up and down earlier, I know how you feel about them,” I assure. Rather than assured, she turns a bright red and tries to pull the brim of her hat over her face. Not before unconsciously repeating the embarrassing offense, however. This only makes me grin wider.

  “Collector, I’m in the third plane,” Sara complains and I laugh harder. “I… I heard you talking to your mom!” she blurts out as I recover my breath. I look at her in confusion.

  “Heard what?” I chuckle while she begins to release the brim of her hat, peeking at me from its shadow.

  “When you told her… how you felt about me…” she answers nervously. “I went to give you… something. And I heard you talking to her in the bath." A few pieces click into place. My earlier question about her confidence is answered in a minute. She knew I liked her. She knew I would be receptive. The fabled cheat code to knowing whether to ask a girl out or not. That certainly helps.

  “Well, I’m glad I told her then. You are a good kisser,” I keep teasing, until a thought occurs to me and my face pales. What exactly had I said to my mom again? Curves you and I are both jealous of… Oh my god. That’s how Sara found out I was attracted to her? Welp. That’s mortifying. She clearly sees the moment I realize exactly what she overheard and lets out her own giggle, and it’s my turn to turn bright red. “You know what, let’s start lunch,” I say, changing the subject as quickly as I can. She seems to be on board with this, until I first present the basket with the lunch I prepared.

  “That sounds like a good idea,” she agrees. She gives me a polite smile as I pull the simple sandwiches out. She accepts one and takes a tentative bite. She does an excellent job of pretending it’s delicious, smiling at me while chewing. But my suspicions are confirmed when I take a bite of my own. It’s not… disgusting. The best way I can describe it is ‘technically nourishment’. It’s not terrible, but it’s not date food. I knew I wasn’t an amazing cook, but I do usually do better than this. I was the only one feeding Mom when she thought she’d lost Henry, afterall. As I keep chewing I start to wonder if this was the real cause of her depression.

  “Well,” I apologize. “It’s not the worst thing I have ever done.” Sara smiles politely, declining to comment. “Alright, alright, this is why I brought two, come on now.” I pull out the other basket, which includes a far more flavorful spread. “I still deserve credit for this, they used seasonings I introduced them to,” I insist. She takes a bit of this and her genuine enjoyment makes her previous performance far less convincing.

  “Oh, this is really good!” she exclaims and I narrow my eyes at her for just long enough to earn a sheepish look.

  “So, tell me about this ‘Samus’,” she offers. And that’s it. I gush about games and books I like. She gushes about hats. I describe hats from games and we talk about them together. The sun sinks in the sky, and I rest my head on her shoulder. That electricity remains, but it is now a constant hum of happiness. I may be useless, but it was a good first date. I close my eyes and let the waning warmth of the sun wash over me, paling in comparison to the warmth of the arm wrapped around my waist.

  “Thanks for coming today, Sara,” I whisper.

  “Thanks for… everything, Annie” she replies.

  It is the most beautiful moment I have experienced in this life, and I want to live in it forever.

  And that's it for the bonus chapter, hope you enjoyed it!

  And now it is time for me to ask for your support!

  Pre-orders for book 1, Lillith of Endings, are now live

  It would be doing me a huge favor if everyone interested bought a copy!

  Due to amazon metrics, pre-orders of the audiobook help most while buying on release day (January 21st) helps more for the ebook or paperback.

  You can listen to a preview of the audiobook So for those planning to read or purchase both, please pre-order audio and order the main copy on release day!

  I would super appreciate any support offered this way. I'll let you all know again on release day and, if you have KU, just reading the book again will help me out! Thanks so much everyone! The outline for book 4 is coming along nicely as well, I hope to be back to posting in the not too distant future.