It was late afternoon of the next day when Reya walked up to Adrian and tugged his sleeve. She jerked her head in the direction of the forest. Adrian sighed, his shoulders drooping. He gave her a nod and went to put on his shoes. Reya joined him and together the pair walked through the front door and made their way around to the back, heading into the forest.

  Reya waited patiently, not speaking very much during their trek. She would ask him her questions once they were settled. Until then, what little she did speak stuck to lighthearted topics, hoping to help lighten his mood. She saw him hurting and wanted to help.

  Adrian, for his part, spent the walk in a contemplative silence. He’d promised Reya that he would talk to her about his comments regarding Ava with her at some point. That time had come, and he tried to prepare himself for what was to come. He knew how the story ended. Reya did not. He wasn’t sure how he felt about telling her. He’d spent so long without anybody to rely on that the thought of opening himself up to her further terrified him.

  The pair walked on until they came to the place they were both so familiar with. Settling into their nook in the rock, they took in the breathtaking view of the mountains; snow-capped with a sprawling forest reflected on the clear, blue lake. From there, they felt at peace. There was no one around but them, allowing some precious time alone. Reya compared the reflection on the perfectly still water to the actual mountains and surroundings. There was not a cloud in the sky. The only difference she found was that the reflection’s sky was a different shade of blue. Adrian lay there tensely as the same realization struck them. They both knew.

  It was time.

  Reya spoke first. “What did you mean by that comment last night? There was more to it than you let on.” At first, there was nothing but silence. Reya felt Adrian’s heart hammer in his chest to its alien rhythm as he grappled with the decision on whether to tell her.

  He couldn’t bring himself to lie to her. He knew she would keep his secret. He took a deep breath and held it for several seconds before letting it out. “In the first facility I was captive at, back on Earth,” Adrian started, his voice distant. “we were placed five to a room. It was a tiny thing, five cots crammed against the wall, fighting desperately for what precious little real estate there was. There was a small sink for water in the back corner and a toilet with no door next to it.” He paused, collecting himself. Reya remained silent, absorbing the story. She let Adrian take all the time he needed before continuing.

  “The walls were thick stone and the door was metal, with no handle on the inside. It would squeak whenever it was opened, waking everybody up and letting them know someone was there. We dreaded it, because the sound meant that it was either time for an experiment or for food and a shower. Once the latter was done, we knew that it would only be the former until the same time the next day.

  “One or more of us would be taken, only to return in pain, suffering from the side effects of the experiments. There was always something that hurt while I was there.” Reya wrapped him in a hug when Adrian went silent, losing himself to his memories. His eyes snapped back into focus with a flinch. “We were many in the beginning. A large group that had all been kidnapped. At some point, we noticed that there were less people. It was quite difficult to figure out at first, since you weren’t permitted any contact with anyone outside of your cell. We only managed because we always crossed the same group when we went from the showers to get food. Suddenly, there were less people than we remembered.

  “Soon, the experiments were in groups, where you were mostly with people from other cells. That’s when the first deaths we had evidence of began. Each person died horrifically in agony. We were forced to watch, unable to intervene. People just,” Adrian’s voice cracked, “died. Over and over again. Every time there was an experiment, you asked yourself if that was finally it. If it was finally your turn to die.”

  “As I recovered, I realized that dying like the others would be my fate if I didn’t do something. I needed to escape before I died. It was either certain death or a chance at life – overshadowed by death but still with a chance at life, nonetheless.

  “I convinced the others to form an escape plan with me. We didn’t have much time. We were all growing weaker by the day. The food was hard to eat, and we’d all lost a lot of weight. One of my cell mates had gotten sick and was only getting worse.

  “So we escaped. Or tried to. We actually got pretty far, only to realize that it was all a trap. The guards knew ahead of time where we’d all be and had gathered there. One of us had told them about the plan. We never even stood a chance. We could’ve had an honest to god chance at escaping if it hadn’t been for that.

  “We were caught and brought down deeper into the facility and were gathered in a random room with several people already waiting for us inside. Only this room had jars upon jars of organs all suspended in a blue liquid. In the room was an operating table. We were lined up in front of it and held there at gunpoint.

  “I thought I was going to die,” Adrian trembled. “And I mean truly die.” Reya hugged him tighter, her presence soothing him in ways he didn’t understand. More came spilling out. “Ava walked in, dressed in scrubs. She revealed the informant that told our plan and gave him his reward. She had him restrained and injected with something that completely knocked him out.

  “Then she harvested his organs, one by one, and made us watch until he was nothing more than an empty husk.

  “Next it was time for our punishment. All because we dared to escape. My cell mate, Lily, was plucked by the guards out of line, restrained and injected as well. Except this time, whatever it was left her awake. Unable to move and unable to feel pain, her punishment was to watch as Ava harvested her organs one by one.

  “Her screams went ignored as we watched Ava carve into her. Lily’s scream grew weaker as time passed until they quieted. She’d died at some point, her glassy, empty eyes wide open. All the organs were properly stored and those of us left were brought back to our cell.

  “The experiments resumed, and my sick cell mate steadily grew worse. He eventually began coughing up blood. We screamed for medical assistance, but none came. He passed out and never woke back up. We were left with the body in the room until finally, sometime late the next day the door opened again. When the guards came, it wasn’t to collect the body. It was to bring us to be placed in our pods. So in the pods we went. And then I woke up,” Adrian trembled. “The beginning of the worst thing that could’ve happened to me.”

  This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

  Reya remained silent, digesting everything she’d just heard. A cold anger filled her at the injustice done to Adrian. “And then you had to help her survive,” she said softly. “That must have been so hard.” Adrian nodded mutely.

  “It was,” he croaked, finding his voice. A broken smile stretched across his face. “When I saw her standing there, I felt sick. I wanted to run away. I wanted to hide.” Tears welled in his eyes. “But I can’t afford to look weak before your Tribunal, so I stayed and did what was asked of me. I can’t stand the idea of imprisonment, yet I felt satisfied knowing she was going to be locked away like she’d done to me. I know what being trapped feels like. It’s not something I wish upon others. And yet.” Adrian pounded his fist weakly on the ground beside him. “And yet, I wished it upon her out of spite. Out of rage. What kind of person does that make me?”

  “I think,” Reya said carefully after a long moment, “that it makes you somebody who wants their old tormentor to understand what they did – even if it’s only a small part. I don’t think that makes you a bad person. You have every right to be upset. I would never think less of you for having complicated emotions.” Reya reach up and cupped Adrian’s face with her hand. “Time and again, you show me how strong you are, for having survived what happened to you.” Adrian leaned into the touch, placing a hand atop hers. She wiped away the silent tears spilling down his cheeks. “If I’m being honest, I want everybody who ever hurt you to suffer. Every time I learn something new about what happened to you, a small piece of me dies because I know that I wasn’t there to help. While I lived my perfectly normal life, you underwent unspeakable horrors. It eats me up, hearing how much you’ve suffered. I hate everyone who dared to lay a hand on you.”

  “I don’t feel strong,” Adrian whispered hoarsely. “I feel broken. So many parts of me have been replaced, I don’t know what I am anymore. I’m barely holding myself together as it is already. That’s not strength.”

  “You might not see it, but I do. It’s clear as day to me,” Reya said with conviction. “It’s one of the things I love about you. Most people would have never continued fighting. They would have never tried to begin with.”

  Adrian shook his head. “I gave up long ago. By the time Jyn and the others found me, I was simply waiting to die. It was the only thing I looked forward to,” Adrian said bitterly. “I was only discovered by chance. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened to me if it hadn’t been for you and your team.”

  “I didn’t do anything to save you,” Reya said morosely. “All I did was fuck up and get hurt. I was useless. Helpless.”

  Adrian brushed a strand of hair out of her eye as she rested her head on his chest. “You’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know,” Adrian said, his voice thick with emotion. “If it hadn’t been for you, your team would have never stormed the facility to take it over. I wouldn’t have been discovered and I would still be being experimented on. And now? You’re the one picking me up when I can no longer stand. You’re the one putting me back together again. You’re the one who always finds a way to be there for me when I need you the most.”

  Reya sniffed. “You mean it?”

  “Always. You’re my world. My light. My love. I wouldn’t give you up for anything.”

  “You’re going to make me cry if you keep this up,” Reya said, dabbing her eyes.

  “At least we’ll be two crying messes if that happens,” Adrian teased, a slight smile on his face. “I don’t know how I feel about the whole Ava situation,” he said, turning more serious. “In a way, I feel bad for her, having to deal with the Tribunal alone. I had you to help me and I can’t imagine what would’ve happened otherwise. I’m also secretly happy that she has it tough, after what I went through on her orders. Beyond that, I also feel a great deal of anger and resentment. It felt like the world was falling out from under me when I saw Connor, Ellie and Ava again.” Adrian rubbed a hand across his face. “It’s confusing. I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. I feel all twisted and knotted inside.”

  “It’ll be ok,” Reya said reassuringly. She would do her best to make her words come true. “We’ll work through this together.” They were a team now. Adrian no longer had to suffer alone. “Why did you help Ava?” she asked.

  “I couldn’t leave her there to die,” Adrian said softly. “Watching my fellow test subjects die in agony back on Earth was hard. A part of me feels like I could’ve stepped in and helped, even though I know that I wouldn’t have made a difference. Knowing somebody’s going to die when there’s something I can do to prevent it doesn’t sit well with me. Not after seeing so many deaths. So I helped her, and it sickened me. By all rights, after everything she’s done, I should have offered her no help. I didn’t want there to be another death when I could have stopped it. So I gave her some advice, even if that meant helping one of the people who hurt me.”

  “Most people wouldn’t have gone that far,” Reya commented.

  “Most people wouldn’t be in that situation to begin with,” Adrian said.

  “True,” she agreed. “I’m also conflicted about you helping her, after hearing what she’s done. Logically, I know it wasn’t her fault. She was probably just following her programming, but she still hurt you. A part of me wishes you’d left her to the wolves and another part of me is horrified for even thinking that.”

  Adrian chuckled. “It’s good to know I’m not the only one feeling conflicted about this. What do you think is going to happen to her now?”

  Reya hummed in thought. “Knowing the Tribunal, they’re going to want to use her to unlock the facility’s secrets. How they intend to do that, I don’t know. She’s going to need to be supervised, but that risks having other soldiers learn about the classified information Tassie and Irric handle.”

  “Which I’m sure the Tribunal doesn’t want,” Adrian added.

  “Exactly. Honestly, I don’t know what’s going to happen with Ava. For once, it’s not our problem to worry about since it doesn’t affect us. I say we leave the worrying to the Elders. We shouldn’t have to interact with Ava again for a while. Unless there’s another call with Connor and Ellie,” Reya said, trying her best to properly pronounce their names, “there should be no reason for you to get involved. There’s also very little chance that we have to deal with her in person since she’s all the way at the facility.”

  “May she stay there, where I never have to see her,” Adrian said fervently. “I don’t know what I’d do if ever I came face to face with her.” Once again, a jumbled knot of emotions tightened in his chest, constricting him. The mere thought of meeting Ava in person made him panic, his heart racing. Reya noticed and grabbed his hand in hers, bringing it towards her and placing a kiss on it, catching Adrian’s attention. He saw her worried look and it warmed his heart, knowing that she cared.

  Admiring the wonderful person that was next to him, he thought over what she’d said. After a short moment of contemplation, he realized that Ava was too far removed from him to hurt him again this time. His feelings were still a mess, but he felt calmer now than he did before after his epiphany. It would do him no good to spend his time worrying about things he had no control over. Instead, he focused on what he had in front of him.

  Tilting Reya’s head towards him, he gave her a long kiss. “What was that for?” Reya asked once they broke apart. She certainly wasn’t complaining at the intimate contact and wanted more. The loving look in Adrian’s eyes threatened to make her melt.

  “For being you,” Adrian smiled softly, the warm look in his eyes never leaving. They drank in the sight of Reya sidled up to him, pushing aside his intrusive thoughts. “You’re right. I shouldn’t focus on things I that are out of my hands. Instead, I’d much rather focus on what’s in front of me right now.”

  He leaned in for another kiss.