As Jeremy fell, the last thing he heard from behind the portal was the closet door slamming shut.

  ***

  Andrew chuckled inwardly, imagining Jeremy slamming into the back of the closet. He turned away, ignoring his younger brother's frightened scream, not watching, caring, or noticing his younger brother vanish through the invisible (to him) portal. “And you stay there until you chillax and quit being such a basic rodent!”

  Andrew pushed Jeremy's dresser against the closet. That little rodent could come out when he'd calmed down and quit acting crazy.

  “My little brother is such a puke-head,” Andrew moaned, rejoining his friends. “I wish he would get eaten by monsters.”

  ***

  The next thing Jeremy knew, he was lying on the cold stone floor of a clean earthy-smelling cavern that appeared to be hammered out of solid rock. Many floating torches lit the huge cavern that could have held Jeremy's house and yard, with plenty of room to spare.

  Jeremy groaned and got to his feet. The portal he'd come through had vanished. His cellphone was gone, and six more teddy bears were resting near the cavern's only exit, a dark passageway under a stone archway most adults would need to duck underneath to enter. The archway was made up of large white stones covered with childish drawings. One drawing had two bright suns, three moons, and a rainbow. Smiling stick children played with teddy bears. Or were they running away from them?

  He wanted to examine the drawings more closely, but had no intention of going near the six teddy bears to do so. The teddy bears, fortunately, appeared inert, making no move to attack.

  “No weapons, no armor, no character build, and you're alone,” said a low-pitched gravelly voice behind him, making him jump and spin around. “You are not very smart. I hope you're not planning to become a spellcaster.” A small creature resembling a garden gnome looked up at him intently.

  “Please, sir. Who are you? Could you tell me where I am?” Jeremy asked nervously. After the teddy bear attack, he wasn't sure this creature was friendly.

  The creature stroked his long white beard and waddled towards Jeremy. At least he seemed to waddle. Jeremy couldn't see his feet under his robes.

  Jeremy backed up nervously.

  “Could I tell you? Of course I could. This is The Children's Dungeon, after all. You have only to ask. My name is Boggan. And you are?” His eyes gazed into the distance. “Ah. Jeremy Wilkins from a new world. My condolences. And you're weak. All average attributes, without even the beginnings of a character build.” Shaking his head. “Ooh. Things do not look good for you.”

  “Well, I didn't want to come here. I was pushed.”

  “That is unfortunate,” Boggan replied.

  “And what's wrong with being from a new world?”

  Boggan looked away. “Nothing, nothing at all.”

  “Could I please go home?” Jeremy asked.

  “Can you go home? Of course you can! Let me show you.” Boggan pulled up a holographic-like image from nowhere. It was transparent enough for Jeremy to see seven layers riddled with labyrinthine hallways.

  “As you see,” Boggan pointed at the bottom of the map where a red X was located, “you are here. To get home, you need to leave through that archway there.” He motioned towards the only archway in the room. “Go down this hallway.” Boggan used his finger to point out the way on the map. “Many passageways branch off this hallway, but if you ignore these, and follow the brightly lit red path going in the direction of the arrows, you can't get lost. Where the path ends on this, the lowest floor, you will find the way to the second. On the second floor, you again follow the red path, and it will take you to the third, and so on. Continue like this to the seventh floor. From the seventh floor, the path leads to the center.” He pointed to a large room in the center of the topmost labyrinth. “The room in the center of the seventh floor holds the portal that will take you home. A hydra lives in this room, but it's very young, just learned how to breathe fire, mostly harmless. All you have to do is get past the mostly harmless hydra, jump through the portal, and you're home.”

  Jeremy studied the winding pathway on the three-dimensional map, trying to use the room's archway for reference. The path must go on for miles. “How many monsters will I meet on this path?” he asked.

  Boggan looked away evasive. “Not many. One or two, uh hundred. Give or take. Hard to tell. This is The Children's Dungeon after all.”

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  “What exactly is a children's dungeon?”

  “Didn't I tell you? The Children's Dungeon is a dungeon only children can see and enter. It's a dungeon made to teach children about dungeons, monsters, character classes, and how to use the alternate energy source to level up and kill monsters.”

  “Energy source?”

  “You would know it as mana, or magic,” Boggan said. “As you know, monsters eat children. The only way to prevent monsters from eating children is to send children into a dungeon with thousands--uh, I mean hundreds--of ravenous child-eating monsters.”

  Jeremy's foot started hurting again. This couldn't be happening, could it? Had to be a dream, a hallucination. “That makes no sense! Couldn't we eat our vegetables or something?”

  Boggan pulled himself up to his full 3-foot height, (including his pointed red hat), puffed out his chest, and glared at Jeremy, causing the boy to back away again. “No! No! No!” Clearly, Jeremy had hit a sore point. “Children should never eat vegetables. Monsters love eating children who eat their vegetables. Children who eat their vegetables taste better.”

  “My mom would disagree with that statement,” Jeremy said. “She told me to eat my vegetables, so I'd get big and strong, or the boogeyman would get me.” She'd been joking, but still.

  Boggan sighed. “You are from a world new to dungeons and monsters. Your mother's only experience is with imaginary monsters. But here, in the real universe, monsters are real.”

  Boggan produced a packet the size of a granola bar from the air and handed it to him. “This is a dungeon ration. It's good for you and comes with strength bonuses.”

  Jeremy pocketed the food bar. Food was the last thing on his mind right now. He watched the teddy bears by the archway. They remained still and silent, but he felt like they could attack at any moment. He was tired and his foot hurt from being bitten. To his embarrassment, he started to cry. “I came here by accident. Please. I just want to go home, without fighting a bunch of monsters.”

  “Now you're being ridiculous,” Boggan said with a sniff. “You might as well wish black to be white, or to alter the laws of physics, so the ever-expanding dungeon universe ceases to exist.”

  “I just want to go home,” Jeremy whined, tears rolling down his face.

  “Well. Let's get started. Since you are from a new world, I will explain everything. First, I'll give you a character stat sheet. This is the dungeon's way of summarizing who you are and shows us how far along you are in utilizing the alternate energy source, or magic, to accomplish your goals.”

  Boggan made a hand gesture and Jeremy felt something in the corner of his eye just outside his vision. He somehow flicked his eyes, and a screen appeared in front of him. The screen remained directly in front of him when he tried to look past it, moving with his head and eyes as he did so. Fortunately, the stat sheet was transparent enough to ensure nothing was sneaking up on him.

  Name: Jeremy Wilkins

  Race: Human

  Sex: Boy

  Age: 10

  Character Class: Child

  Level: 0

  Health: 7

  Attributes:

  Strength: 5

  Endurance: 5

  Vitality: 6

  Dexterity: 4

  Agility: 5

  Perception: 4

  Intelligence: 6

  Wisdom: 5

  Will Power: 4

  Charisma: 4

  Mana: 0

  Active Skills:

  None

  Passive Skills:

  None

  Spells:

  None.

  “You have accessed your stat sheet,” Boggan said from behind him, making him jump. “Very good. Your stat sheet is the dungeon's way of interfacing with you to show you what your abilities are and how far you've progressed. This is a rough summary of your life up to this point. You have no levels, no magic, no skills of any kind, and your stats are not good.” Boggan shook his head.

  “I have skills,” Jeremy said, defending himself. “I can play hockey, sort of. I know math and I get decent grades in school.”

  “Those skills don't apply. By skills, I'm referring to magically augmented abilities that will keep you alive. But first, let's start with the three basic character types.” Once again, Boggan created a holographic image, this time showing three characters, each about 6 inches tall.

  After some experimentation, Jeremy mentally flicked his stat screen back to the corner of his eye to get a better look at Boggan's image.

  “There are three basic character types,” Boggan began. “The first is the spellcaster. They cast spells to bend their surrounding reality.”

  The figure on the left came alive. Wearing robes and holding a staff, it cast tiny fireballs at the dog-like monsters surrounding it, killing a few of the monsters, but was quickly taken down by the rest, torn apart, and eaten.

  “The second type is a fighter. They wear protective armor and use powerful weapons and fighting skills to attack and kill their enemies.”

  The figure in the middle, a knight armed with a large sword, came alive and used its sword to fight off the same dog monsters, lasting a little longer, but like the first, it was pulled down, torn apart, and eaten.

  “The third type is a rogue. They depend on stealth and guile to defeat their enemies, by stabbing them in the back, or attacking them from concealment in unexpected ways.”

  The third figure ran for its life, trying to escape the dog-like monsters, only to be pulled down like the other two, torn apart and eaten.

  “Now there are thousands of variations of spell-caster, fighter, and rogue, but they all start with these three basic character types.”

  “I want the fourth type that doesn't get torn apart and eaten by monsters,” Jeremy said, not impressed by what Boggan had shown him.

  “You are being ridiculous, again,” Boggan said with an indignant sniff. “Now, think carefully. Which of these character types best suits your physical and mental needs and proclivities?”

  Jeremy thought about it. Magic would be nice, but from what he knew from games, spellcasters started weak, and he was alone. A fighter would be better, but Jeremy wasn't that tough. Most of his fighting experience involved hiding from his older brother.

  “Rogue,” he finally said. “I will go with a rogue class.”